Old friend, good times

I got together with an old friend the other night (the same old friend who came over about a month ago that I hadn't seen in about five years), who renewed a perspective that I seem to have ditched again...this week, anyway. The old "positive perspective". That shit keeps coming back, in one way or another, to slap me in the face when I sink into the horribly negative, "Fuck the World" frame of mind. She is learning now, what I learned a long time ago. I needed to be reminded. I'm happy to have her in my life again. I really think we can help each other.

How many times have I heard the following phrases?

1. It's all what you make it.
2. It's all about attitude.
3. It only bothers you if you let it.
4. One day at a time. (very important for those of us who are easily overwhelmed, NOT just alcoholics, kay?)
5. What will it matter in 100 years?
6. Don't compare yourself to others. We're all individuals.
7. Know what you want, what you can handle.

...those are just some of the mind exercising phrases that I (and many others) have used over the years. All too common, I know, but all too true just the same. I need to catch myself when I get into these downward spirals that plague me more often than not. The tightness in my upper back, sholder and neck tell me that, most importantly, I need to learn to relax. Life is to enjoy, not to be afraid of.

Fuck, I know I'm gonna read this later and be like, "What a fucking fruity dork I was that day." HA! Oh well, it's just an exercise for muh brain. I've been way too stressed lately and I need to let it go. Let it go...

*wind blowing*
*bells jingling*

First night in China, part twoskie

I guess I should finish our first night in China. There really isn't much left... We just went back to the Hutong and fucked around a bit before we went to bed. Fucking around naturally included pulling out the digi cams and getting to work on further documenting (every last detail) of our trip. We were very excited about this at the beginning of the trip but by the last day we had definately petered out on our camera usage. There comes a time in every trip, I think, when you've simply gotten enough pictures. Between Melanie and I, there were MORE than enough pictures of the trip by the time we finished the Great Wall trip. Anyway, Melanie got a lot of great candid shots.

Like this one of me on the first night, once we got back from our bar outings. Doing what? Taking pictures of course!

The evening went on like so...

That's Devin giving Harry (no, not the dog, but she eventually got some too) a taste of a fruit rollup. He'd never had one 'cause they ain't got those in China. No sireeeee...

I'm observing the tasting... The look of bewilderment on Harry's face during the whole fruit roll up experience was priceless.

What's a livingroom without mannequin parts?

Look! It's Harry and Devin! And all the perty windows! Harry is standing in the doorway to the kitchen. It's small and a bit narrow, but full of lovely windows.

Here's a shot of those SAME windows during the DAY! Woo!

And if you're standing in the kitchen doorway facing outside, turn to your right and you see the lovely bathroom...

And in the bathroom you will find an example of what we had to deal with all week...

There will be NO reading in here. Just drop yer load and get the fuck out. A smelly porcelain hole in the floor. Not rank...just a little smelly-yes-this-is-a-room-with-a-hole-of-water-in-the-floor-that-leads-to-the-depths-of-human-waste-smell. Yea, like I mentioned before, the plumbing SUCKED. We were lucky, however, that Devin even HAD indoor plumbing. The whole structure of the bathroom was a little strange. It had a big water heater mounted on the far wall with the plumbing for the shower hooked up to it. The shower was not a separate stall, rather it was just one of those hand-held showerheads and...the rest of the bathroom. So the whole room got kinda wet and steamy and there was clear tape over the one outlet that was next to the doorway. A few feet back from the shower area was the toilet hole. A few feet from that, against the wall, were the miniature washing machine and pedestal sink...neither of which had hot water. Okay, enough bathroom talk...

After lots of talking, picture taking and generally winding down, we finally got to go to BED. OH GLORIOUS BED!

AAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaooooooohhhhhhhheeeeeeaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!

Devin had just gotten that couch at IKEA (yes, there's an IKEA in CHINA!) and daaay-am if that thing wasn't comfy! It was nice and huge and came apart in three sections so we were able to move it around and make a wonderful cozy bed. It didn't take us long to fall asleep. We'd been up for about 28 hours at this point.

And last...

The next morning, er, afternoon. We spent most of our first full day in bed. Poor Melanie got sick. I mean pukey sick, poor thing. I guess it was a combo of pure exhaustion and drinking a lot.

Okay, that's it for now.

Oh yea, and I replaced the bar wall drawing with a bigger one, so if you go back to the "First night in China" it should be much better. I'm getting the hang of this. Sorta.

First night in China

As I promised last night, I'm going to start with the China pictures. I'll just post a few and explain them as I go along.

So here goes...

This was taken by a kind patron at the 'Bus Bar' in Beijing. This was our first night there. Our flight took off at 1:30 p.m. on Friday afternoon and we arrived in Beijing at 12:30 a.m., Sunday morning. The first flight was 14 grueling hours...then we landed in Shanghai and had two hours to kill before our flight to Beijing. We were exhausted and once we got all our boarding pass and passport bullshit taken care of, we zonked out in our little plastic airport chairs. Good thing I woke up to go potty, or we'd have missed our flight! Yes, then we had another two hour flight to Beijing in a smaller, much older, much stinkier plane. It didn't matter though, we fell asleep again anyway. We got to the airport and Devin and Harry picked us up (in a cab) and took us to the 'Bus Bar'. Good thing we had gotten a fifth wind by then...

'Member this little ditty? I posted this before. Once I saw all the scribbles on the wall, I just HAD to get me a marker and add my famous 'Juliedogpoocone' art to the wall. In case I haven't said this before, not only am I weird...I'm kinda sick. And gross.

I drew this a long time ago...

Yea, sick sense of humor here, I know. So Melanie wanted me to draw this on the wall 'cause everyone loves it so.

Here's the finished product. I did the whole dog this time, modeled it after Devin's dog Subway (pronounced Soo-bway to make it more uh, Chinese, I guess) who I'd just met when we stopped by Devin's place to drop off our crap. Subway is the doggie who was on her period all week. FUUUun. She's a cute little hyper black dog, looks just like a small hyena. I came to find that she looks like a lot of other dogs that I saw that week. The Chinese like fairly small dogs with curly tails 'cause they make great pets and great meals. Yes, they eat dogs. But not that often anymore. Gross. Yea.

We couldn't just go to ONE bar on our first night. We hadn't even been awake for 24 hours yet! So we took a picture right outside of the Bus Bar and headed to the next bar... We're only half drunk here. I don't remember the name of the next bar we went to, but it was pretty close by. I think we walked about five blocks to a little area of bars. I saw my first REAL panhandlers outside of this bar! A family in rags literally rattling their pans of change in our faces. Not a good idea to give panhandlers in foreign countries money. It's commmon sense. Just look the other way, kinda like we do here! 'Cept it's hard to do that when their child runs over and grabs your leg! It wasn't MY leg, thank God, it was Harry's...he was the only Chinese guy in our group. Harry handled it well, I think...nice at first and then a stern yell and the kid let go. Interesting.

"Waid duh minnit...I kin doooit!" Once we were in this second, much darker bar, I HAD to get a picture!

"Redd-die?"

"AWWWWW!!!!"

The nameless bar was cool, too. Lots of wood everywhere. And WESTERNized dance music! Lotta foreigners dancing around in there. Melanie and I went to the restroom, by this time we were starting to get used to the idea of squatting over a porcelain hole in the floor since we pretty much started drinking the minute we got to Beijing. We weren't, however, used to random water spigots sticking out of the wall. Melanie walked past it and her purse got stuck and pulled it on. She let out a startled, "EEeep! What the hell??!", and stood there for a moment watching her right pant leg get soaked. I just stood there and laughed hysterically. She couldn't figure out what the fuck was going on at first because a. It didn't look like the usual American water spigot we were used to and b. She thought it just came on by itself when she walked past it! By the time she figured it out her leg and shoe were soaked. And DAMN me for not getting a picture. It was funny.

Okay, that's it for now. I'm going to post this and see how it looks and then finish the rest of the evening later. I might add it to this, I might not. But I have some things to do and I'm spending too much time on this right now!

Later!

Some random pixies

I took a few pictures tonight. They're kinda blurry, but OH well. I'll get the hang of my camera some day. I'm still stoked about even knowing how to post digital pictures onna internet. A year ago, I had NO idea I'd be doing such a thing!!!! M'kay, but I still gotta learn how to get 'em a little less fuzzy. Anyhow....This is inspired by my recent changes to the arrangement of my livingroom furniture. It started with wanting to move the bird cages...I didn't like the way I'd situated them. Pickles was on one side of the room, next to the couch and Toby was all the way on the other side of the room, next to the bedroom door. His cage has been there a few weeks, I was just trying it out. Doesn't work. Ron and I always trip on it coming out of the bedroom door. I also wanted the birds to be able to see and hear each other better. They've already started mimicking each other, it's so cute! Nice for them to be able to entertain themselves with each other's presence while we're gone for the day.

Soooo... Here are the pics!

But first, my new haircut...

In' it CUTE? I love it shorter again. It had gotten down to my shoulders and I was tired of it again. Change is good.

YEEeeaaa... Change is GOOOoood.

This is how my livingroom used to look...last Friday when my brother Steve and his friend Chris came over. Chris had picked Steve up from the airport. They stopped by for a little Hey-loh. I was thereby relieved of my little black kitty sitting. And there's Ron in his usual spot.

The NEW and IMPROVED living room situation!!! I love it. Mainly because it is a much needed change for me. Yes, change is gooooot. I like where I decided to put the cages. It works well. Not to mention the chair and the couch right next to each other with a little coffee table and lamp in between. How quaint! Mmmm-hmmm. The Stan man likes it. Doncha STtaaaannn??!! Yeaayuh.

And my big brudder Steve. I was always closer to him than to my oldest brother, Eric. Must be 'cause we're both weirdos. We speak the same language. 'Course I love my brother Eric but...but he's just so NORMAL. Hehe...the family man. Can't relate to him much at this time in my life.

The bird cage set up is so much better this way.

Aaaand the other side of the livingroom. Those are Ron's beloved bikes. He was a BMX boy years ago...still is. He loves to get out and ride when he can. He ADORES the bikes. These are his two favorites that he rides pretty regularly, so they're not in storage with the others. He's also got a beautiful old beach cruiser in my back patio room. It rides like a dreeeeeamm....

I also had a rare opportunity in which my camera accompanied me in the car. So I took advantage of it when I got stuck in traffic. Perfect way to pass the time while sitting behind breaklights.

Why not take a picture of the Original Bob's Bigboy. THE Bob's bigboy. It's cool, they have carshows there a lot.

Close to Bob's is a hole in the wall that my parents went every Saturday for their weekly breakfast outing. I used to love the Saturday mornings while they were at breakfast. I'd watch cartoons and play and just be the weirdo I could be in front of them...lest they start to worry...

I was on my way to visit my friend, Rosemary last week. I had to bring my camera with me and show her the pictures off of it because I STILL have been too lazy to put my China pictures on Photopaper. Not to worry, Melanie is beating me to it and she is going to do me the favor and get me some copies. Thanks, darling...

Okay, I think that's it for this entry for now. I loaded some more China pics so I'll post a few tomorrow. No. Really!!! I will!!!

Apologies

I've been reading some blogs today in between my tasks. I discovered a new one today, Randomandodd. I came across an entry of hers that really made me think...in terms of my ex...

It's about time that I start to let go of the anger and the 'feeling of being wronged' that I've been holding on to for the past year. Well, I HAVE started to let it go, as I've mentioned in other posts...it's just not gone yet. I'm still healing. This is normal. Hell, it's all I knew for so long. Anyway, here are some things that I feel I should apologize to HIM for. As, nothing is EVER one sided. I have to start forgiving and forgetting so that I can move on. Here are the ones that really touched me. Thanks, Random.

1. "I'm sorry I called when I shouldn't have. It's better to leave well enough alone."

I would have had none of the awful hell I went through the very last time we got back together and tried again...during the time he was dealing with the fact he'd knocked up some chick he didn't love. I wouldn't have turned into a horrible, jealous monster. I should never have called him that drunken night in January. It was so selfish of me.

2. "Sorry for not being 'the one' and wasting your time."

Three years of happiness, thinking we'd get married... Then three years of breaking up with him and getting back together with him, making him think I wanted to work things out and eventually get married. Another selfish act. Which leads to...

3. "I'm sorry I pushed you away because I didn't know how to just tell you that I wasn't happy with you anymore." ...and get it the FUCK overwith!!!

Yup, today is another day of thinking too much. I'm analyzing again. Thinking about getting married leads to thinking about relationship patterns and a huge, sordid list of "what ifs". All I can do is learn from my mistakes, just like every other human being.

That's it for now.

Ba-a-ck to lyfe, ba-a-ck to re-al-ity

It's slow today at work and I'm dying for the weekend to arrive. This week has been boring. I miss Ron, I've barely seen him all week because by the time I get home from work he's at work. Then I have to spend the night at my brother's for the cat. Although last night was fun, I met him for his 'lunch' hour for dinner after I got off of work. His work is not too far from mine so we met halfway for din din.

I'm feeling down again this week. Not really DOWN, just...bleh. Bored. Not sure what to do with myself. It'll pass as it always does. All I feel like doing is lying around watching t.v. or sleeping. And I wouldn't mind doing those things with Ron. Yea, I'm a dork. I miss him. We've only been together a year though. Once we're married (I do believe we will be getting married perty damn soon...as we're both ready) I'll cherish alone time. Speaking of that...that's actually another thing I have to look forward to. Getting married! I'm excited. Really I am. I'm just...eh...this week. But I should put that one (getting married) on my list of why I should be happy. The list I MUST run through my head when I feel this way. Even though it doesn't help with the blob in my stomach.

Since I got back from my trip is when this feeling started again. Vacation's over. Back to life, baaaack to real-it-eee. I've had a horrid time getting out of bed in the morning. I'm not feeling very motivated at work because of the slow down. Actually, I'm just plain not feeling motivated at all. I hate it when I feel this way, like every day is just a chore. That's an awful way to live life. I know.

Well I'm looking forward to tonight at least. I'm meeting my friend for dinner at the Shabu Shabu place. I see her about once every three or four months. An old friend from one of my temp jobs, Rosemary. I think I may have mentioned her before. She's very open minded and is great to talk to. She always has wonderful advice, too. Not that I really need any right now. But I'm sure she'll help me get out of this mood some. Being social helps. And tomorrow is Friday. But I still hafta get outta cozy bed in the morning. Fuck.

Okay, there are a few things that I can work on. I should do them. The end of the day is coming soon. I can't wait.

Some highlights

Here are some highlights from the China trip written in an email to my friend last week. I haven't been in the mood to write about the trip much in here 'cause I'm a little tired of talking about it at the moment. I've been a broken record for a week...

****************************************

HAHA! No! But I DID pick up the "Chinaman's Squat" while I was there! When I got home I seriously hugged my toilet! I'm sure with all of your camping, you've had to take a squattin' shit... It's NOT easy man! Indoor plumbing is a wonderful thing. Especially a full sized toilet with a 'trap'...you know the curvy pipe in the back? That totally keeps the shit smell out...I never knew it worked so well.

The trip though, was wonderful from beginning to end. We got tons of pictures and even some videos! Melanie got these cool disposable digital video cameras. It was so much fun to 'document' our trip and all of the pics and videos turned out great! We lived among the people in our friend Devins hutong (a small grouping of small apartments with a little courtyard), walked up and down those dusty streets and used the public bathroom at the end of the street a lot. Ya couldn't shit in Devins toilet hole 'cause the plumbing couldn't take it. Most of the people didn't have indoor plumbing in their hutongs so there are public bathrooms everywhere. Some of the stories I have... Like the brawl our friends got into with the owners of a Peking duck restaurant. The customer isn't always right in China, nor are they immune to insults! Picture Melanie and I standing outside while Devin and his friend Harry (our wonderful, native host, I don't know what we would have done in terms of the language barrier if it weren't for him) are yelling back and forth at the owner and his wife! We had walked out (or tried to) because, instead of replacing our cold duck as Harry requested when we finally got the rest of the meal, the owner just took it away and insulted him! Devin was trying to get Harry to just give them the money and leave it alone, but he kept fighting. A hostess even came up and slapped him!! Then there was the full body message we got from Chinese prostitutes... Um, that one was my fault. We had been walking around and around looking for a good deal and this last place looked nice to me. I was tired of walking around looking and wanted to get the damn message already! I'm like, "SIGH, can't we just stay HERE??" I didn't find out until afterwards that they were actually prostitutes! Then of course there was the whole partying (with hash and beer) on the Great Wall experience. We hiked that mother fucker, slept in a tower, watched the sunrise and then hiked back. I'll send you some pics of the wall...yes, those curves go UP and DOOOooowwwnnn... and it's a million years old so the shit's falling apart. Crazy fucking hike! Oh yea, and to top it all off...their little girl doggie, Subway, was in heat the whole week!

Everyone was right, too... It seemd like forever until the trip. When it was finally time to go and all through the trip (which flew) everything was so surreal. Now I'm back and it's all over and I'm like..."What? It's over already?" Bleh. I'm still tired from the trip. It was 19 hours with a layover in Shanghai on the way there and 15 hours with a layover in Shanghai on the way back. Fuuuuck. I've never experienced a plane ride that horribly long before...

***************************************

So there. Some highlights. Woopie. It's time to go home now. I'm hungry.

FAH-LAASSHH

It's a rainy Tuesday. The first major storm of the season. What a storm it's been! Last week must have been summer's last sputter 'cause it was pretty damn hot during the day. On Saturday was an abrupt change in the weather. Lots of wind and much much cooler. Finally, some fall weather. I am very ready for it. Sunday brought clouds and by the evening, thunderstorms. OH how I LOVE thunderstorms!! Yes, I've mentioned this before. All of Sunday night and into Monday afternoon we had some knarly thunderstorms! THUNDERSTORMS! YAAAAYYY FOR THUNDERSTORMS!!! FLASH! FLASH! BOOM BOOM BASH!!! Uh huh. Yeaup. Them there thunderstorms is fun.

And that's all for the excitement. Life goes on. Not much happening this week. I'm pet sitting again. This time for my brother. He adopted a little black boy kitty from his old apartment. He's a really friendly, sweet boy with lots of personality. So the bro is gone until Friday and asked that I look after little Frankie man. It would be very easy except for one thing, Frankie is an outdoor kitty. My brother works nights so the kitty is out all afternoon and evening and doesn't usually return until about 10 or 11 at night. Then he sleeps inside, of course. So I have to spend the nights there. Ugh... It's fine, I just like to stay home once I get home. Ron doesn't get home from work until late so I'm not gonna see him all week. Oh well... At least it's just one cat and not a dog that'll shit all over the carpet.

Hmmm...what else... I did the shitload of laundry I had over the weekend. Felt soooooo wonderful to get it all done. The only shitty thing I have left to do is grocery shopping. I'm a little tiffed at Ron 'cause he said he'd do it last week during the day while I was at work. He put it off until the weekend and we were both gonna go, but that didn't happen. So he said he'd go yesterday...nope...he overslept...so he said he'd go last night after class...nope, too tired...so he said he'd go today...nope, overslept... ARRGUGHG! Yea, it's a little irritating when someone says they'll do something and they don't. It's no big deal, I know, I'm just a little pissy 'cause the kitchen is like Mother Hubbard's and now EYE have to go or it looks like it'll never get done. No prob. I'll do it tomorrow. Really. With all the other things Ron does. He IS very thoughtful. He's just a typical human male. I can't blame him for that. But I can still get irritated with him.

Oh yea, and it was my mom's birthday on Sunday. The family (mom, dad, other brother and sister-in-law, brother's MIL, neice, nephew, Ron and I) all met at an Outb@ck. That place is delicious. Yum yum YUMMY! And my mom LOVED the little tea set I got her from China. But when we were done eating and opening gifts, the ladies just kept gabbing and gabbing. I'm not really that close to my sis-in-law or her mom...or my oldest brother, for that matter...so I started getting bored. I mean, I love them all, it's just that we don't have much in common at all. We're opposites. I'm much closer to the brother I'm cat sitting for. He's a weirdo, like me. Anyway, I got so bored I started doing something I always used to do at restaurants when I was little and my parents kept talking and talking...I started making 'experiments' out of my water. Adding leftovers, salt, pepper, lemon, sugar, etc. to my glass of water and stirring it around. Fascinating. Yes, I'm still 10 in my mind. But I've established that already. Ron got a kick out of it. He was the only one.

Okay, I was just taking a little break from work. Time to get back to it. Gotta get the shipments out. I'm going to leave on time today for the first time since I got back from China. Everything else can wait until tomorrow.

Boring Entry over and out.

*KKSSHHHTT*

Toby and Pickles

Finally, a picture of Toby... MY Toby. Even though he looks like all the other parrotlets I've posted, he's MINE. Yea.

In't he cute?! Little tiny guy...My adorable little guy. He's warming up to me quite well. My favorite thing about him so far is his curiosity and playfulness. The minute I put a new toy in his cage, he's gotta check it out and play with it. I love it!

In Pickles news, I have started making some changes in the way I treat him. I am always complaining about how he regurgitates, humps (both mating behaviors) and plucks. He gets obsessed with mating and is always humping or regurgitating on his favorite toys. Well, before I left for China I took the hump/regurge toys out of his cage. This was to make cleanings easier on Ron, so he didn't have to clean up the piles of barf left by mister horny as he makes love to his twirly rope. The twirly rope is Pickles' favorite thing. It's what he's sitting on right here...

He just LOVES to puke on that thing. I finally took it out of his cage, along with another fuzzy toy he likes to hump. He preferres soft/fuzzy toys for his pleasuring.

I was gone for a week, too. Ya see, I made a mistake with Pickles...he is so bonded to me that he thinks of me as his mate. The past two springtime/mating seasons have been hell with him. He gets so obsessed, almost everytime I come over to play with him he starts doing the mating dance and humping his favorite toys. Stupid me has just let him do it, thinking it would take his mind off of plucking. It hasn't. Ever. So I've decided to try something new. Since I've gotten home, Pickles has made friends with Ron. Ron worked with him while I was gone. Before I left, Pickles would bite him when he stuck his fingers through the bars. When I got home, Ron showed me how Pickles not only doesn't bite through the bars, he lets him PET him too! Then he showed me a 'surprise'. He picked up one of Stan's old squeeky toys and started squeeking it at Pickles. Pickles started MIMICKING IT!!! It was so awesome!!!! Seeing those things made me realize A. Ron is an animal lover just like me and has the patience needed to get to know a parrot (priceless to me) and B. This is JUST what I needed to start changing Pickles undesired behavior.

I've decided to take away all but one of his hump toys. He had five! I've also decided to ignore his mating behavior when he does it towards me. Now when he makes the regurge motion and I just put him down. If he does it on the one hump toy I left for him (only to play with when he's out on the playstand on top of his cage) I walk away. I AM his object of sexual desire and this is WRONG. For more reasons than one, I know. I try to take his mind off sex by redirecting him, too. I've started 'communicating' with him with the squeaky toys as well as encouraging him to play with other toys. I ring bells, show him different ways to play with the toys... Parrots are so much smarter than people give them credit for. I've read so many books and articles about them and I can't believe I didn't try this sooner. And all the books say that you shouldn't develope a sexual relationship with your parrot. It's a lot easier to do so than one would think. Just petting them on the back gets them stimulated when they're sexually mature!!

Now I have the tools though...a parrot's favorite thing, once they're bonded and used to you, is attention from you. Their next favorite thing is vocal stimulation or any kind of interesting noise...bells, beeps, squeeks, speech... So if Pickles starts either sexual stuff or plucking, I know to redirect his behavior or just ignore it. That's how parrots learn. Positive reinforcement...works so well for them, and all pets! Isn't that wonderful??!

Hey, this shit gets me excited. It's a hobby and I love it. I love my birds...all my pets. It's my duty to make their lives as comfortable as possible.

So that's it for now. And no, I'm NOT going to get a life!

It's Allright...da-doodah-dee-doodle-dee

The day is over and I'm not an idiot anymore. All has been resolved. The best part is that what I was beating myself up over wasn't even worth it. My boss was completely understanding and told me that it wasn't my fault. Everything is fine. I needn't worry.

I feel much much better now, obviously. Very tired though. Stressing out sure does take a lot outta ya. I think I'm going to go home and skip doing laundry and/or grocery shopping AGAIN. I'm really gonna have to break down and do some laundry tomorrow though 'cause the underwear is diminishing yet again. 'Nuther lazy week.

Time to head home. Maybe I'll post some more pics tonight. I'll probably be on the computer some. I'm purging all the spyware shit off of it again tonight. Gotta do another major cleaning. Something about my computer, man... It just screams, "Come and FUCK with me!!!" Okay, buh buh bye.

Head in my ass

Sometimes I really hate being me. I am so fucking stupid. I fucked up at work with the fucking phones AGAIN. My boss is trying to cut costs and had me get rid of a couple of phone lines. So, trying to be efficient, I called the phone company last night before I left and got it all done. Wrong. I had the line with the security system removed and now they have to come out and it's gonna cost MORE money. FUCK! I'm never going to be able to do ANYTHING right. How in the fuck am I ever going to get anywhere in life if I can't even follow simple directions without confusing and fucking up the whole thing??? I HATE it when I do these things because I KNOW better! I just have a DUH moment and it's over!!! Me and my fucking DUH moments!!! I'm so tired of them! I'm so fucking STUPID!!!!!

Okay, I know this is totally negative and I really shouldn't put myself down. That's the reason I keep fucking up. I don't believe in myself. I need to have more confidence in my ability. I am NOT stupid!!! HAHAHA!!! Sure...

I'm having a horrid morning. Then Ron called to say that there is a fucking plumber at my house digging the place up because there is a leak in the water main. The plumber says that the landlord had gotten permission from me. Unless I'm losing my mind (which is very well possible) I don't remember authorizing that! The dickhead landlord didn't even call me last night to REMIND me that a plumber would be coming!!! ASSHOLE!

I'm just having a mild panic attack today. Seems everything is wrong. But it's not. Just panicking again. I know this phone thing is just a blip and these things happen. It's just that I could have done it right and I didn't. I'm lame. No I'm not. Yes I am. I think I need a career that involves only sticking my head squarely up my ass. I'm good at that.

I'm back

Whew. I'm at my first day at work, back from China. WOW what an amazing trip. Completely and totally amazing. I will remember this experience for a lifetime. Now I'm trying to adjust to everyday life again. It's weird. I'm loaded at work. I should get back to it. I'll post pics and talk about my trip when I have more time and am back to normal.

I'm HERE!

Helloh-oh-oh from CHINA baby!!! Yea, Devin's got DSL. Perty dayam cool. I am having SUCH a fucking blast I can't even beGIN to explain it here. 'Course I don't have the time. The wonderful details of this trip will come out, I'm sure, over time. I have only been here about a day and a half and I already have tons of fantastic pictures. Melanie also has a disposable digital video camera! We've taken about four 'movies' so far and they are fucking side-splitting hilarious!!!! Naturally. 'Cause ya just KNOW my friends and I are so damn funny.

So that's about all I can go into now. I'll be posting some pics just as soon as I get around to it. Which could be sooner...or later.

Oh yes, and it's amazing how uncomfortable and LONG a 14 hour plane ride can be. Wow. I really didn't understand the meaning of travel. Great experience. I'm so fucking glad I did this. I NEEDED this!!!!

Blah

Oh yea. I'm bored so I'll add another entry. I had a great weekend. I got some fantastic High Tech hiking boots that are the most comfortable shoes I've ever worn. I also got me a lovely sleeping bag, the first one I've ever owned. Now I get to go camping and hiking more often. Woopie woopie woo woo.

Friday night I got together with an old friend that I hadn't seen in about five years. No, not the neighbor. She didn't call last week so whatever. We'll try again when I get back. Anyway, the old friend and I had a blast catching up. Then Ron got home and we had even more fun. Wee.

Sunday was football and bbqing. Very nice.

I still have so many things to do for my trip. Ugh. I don't know where to start. I keep putting things off. I should be excited. I am, it's just that I'm really nervous. What if I forget my underwear?? I always have the 'forgot my underwear' dream before I go on a trip. Hehehehe... Everything will work out. Everything will work out. Everything will work out...

I'm feeling blah again today. Blah blah. I don't wanna blah but I gotta blah. Blah. I should be happy I have blah and that I'm blah. Blah. And the name of this entry will be...

Come ON now, people

I leave in less than three days. Still no passport. It was obviously lost (sitting on some shithead's desk) and I had to have it re-issued yesterday. This is something that should only take 24 hours. I am PRAYING that the green slip they gave me yesterday actually works and I will be walking out of that office with a passport TODAY. Then I have to run to the Visa office and hope it's still open by the time I get there. If not...tomorrow morning. I am stressing out so much. I'm not even ready to go. It's still an illusion.

Munny

Oh yea... And after all that spending last night, I'm even more broke. But again, it's mostly in my head. I need to stop worrying so much about money. It's good to keep tabs, but sometimes I get a little crazy over it. I enjoyed buying those items last night and I'm going to have even MORE fun shopping in CHINA!!! WWwwwwwwoooooooooooooooeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!

Shittin' bricks

Okay, so what was I bitching profusely about the other day? "Having" to hang out with my two friends Cathy? I got together with them last night and had a good time. I put aside all the stupid bullshit that had been swirling through my head on Wednesday. I'll just attribute that bitchfest to the fact that I was in a bad mood that morning when I puked up that entry.

Cathy J. picked me up from my house at 5:30 and we headed out to meet Cathie H. at her work downtown. I was very thankful that Cathy J. offered to drive. She lives close to me so it was easy for us to carpool. I offered her gas money, but she politely declined... Cathie H. works as a production assistant and wanted to show us around the studio. It was very interesting. No really, it was! After the tour we walked to a touristy area speckled with restaurants and shops. We decided to eat at the "

G@oucho

Grill". I had heard of the place, but had never eaten there. It's Argentine cuisine...yes, it rhyms! In' that somethin'? 'Kay... It was yummy, yummy. I had a breaded meat dish served with muh very favorite kinda taters...red skin mashed. MMMMMMmmmmm. That right there made my evening. After dinner we walked around and did the girl thing, talked (gossiped) and shopped. We stopped at this cool little toy/collectors store and I got Ron an awesome addition to his ever-expanding H*twheels collection. He loves old F*ords and I saw a collector's edition set with a '56 Merc (At least I think that's what he said it was when I gave it to him) and a Model T. Darling. I got myself a little glass Koi fish to go with my glass animal collection. Then we had to stop at T*wer Records. Oh no...NOT THE MUSIC STORE! QUICK! TAKE MY WALLET!!! I went nuts. I got FIVE whole CDs!!!! I've been STARVING for new music lately. Before I had to be dragged out of there I got the new Beck album, Ray Charles, The Clash, Gorillaz and an old Foo Fighters... Aaahhhhhh...muuuzik. I'm satisfied for a little while now. After music shopping was a trip to get dessert, ice cream yummy yumm YUMMmmm. Yes, it was a loverly evenin'.

So now it's Friday and I'm stoked, duuuuude! I sure as hell hope to all that is fair that I receive my fucking passport today. I'm starting to shit bricks now. Yes, shit bricks. An old friend used to say that when she got nervous, I thought I'd pay tribute to that. Yea. It had better be in the mail today because I'm probably going to have a nervous breakdown an cuss out another government employee if it doesn't. I shall kneel to the passport gods now... Let us pray...

Oh yea, I finally took some cute pictures of Pickles and Toby. I'll try to post those later. They came out pretty well. I also took a pic of the new set up for Rosie. Ah, what would I do without my pets? Have a life? Hell no!

Nothing else is new at the moment. I'm just waiting for this workday to be over. I'm gonna go jogging again tonight after work. Maybe it'll be even easier than it was on Wednesday. Yes, Wednesday's workout wasn't quite as horrendous as Monday's. It gets easier and easier the more ya do it. What a novel concept! Why in the hell can't I keep it up? I can try... M'kay, time for more coffee. I'ma lil' tired 'cause Ronnie poop kept me up last night. Woowoo.

Inconsiderate

I'm an asshole. Cathy J. is right. I'm just being moody. Friendship is about sacrificing a little when you have to. Despite the fact that we're older and somewhat different people than we were in highschool, they still LIKE me and WANT to see me. It's been about three months since we've gotten together. What the fuck is my problem? I'm so damn selfish and inconsiderate sometimes it makes me sick.

Buggin' the PISS

Shit, I woke up PISSED this morning. Just PISSED OFF that I had to get up. I had told Ron to wake me when he got home last night, but he didn't get home until 11:00 in the pee-emm... He said he saw me sleeping soundly and didn't want to bother. Damn it! I miss him! And I am not a morning person. I've mentioned that at least a FEW times in here, humm? Yea. So this morning when I woke up and Ron was sleeping soundly next to me, I was selfishly PISSED (3) that I had to get up and he got to sleep in. ARRRGGHGHG!!! He gets to sleep in every morning! ARRRUGHGHG!!!! But he works hard at his job so he deserves it. Still, it PISSES (4) me off when I hafta get outta my nice, warm bed and he gets to sleep. This morning I guess my PISSEDness (5) showed because, according to Ron, I was slamming drawers and doors a lot. When I got out of the bathroom he was up, said he had to do some laundry. He even offered to do a little of mine. (Awww, now I feel guilty as hell...BAD me). So he goes off to do laundry because he couldn't sleep because I'm such a loud, banging, bitchy morning person. I managed to leave on time but was LATE to work AGAIN. I left at the same time yesterday and was a few minutes early. But no, not this morning. THIS morning there were five thousand trucks going 3 miles an hour and I think I hit every single fucking red light in existence. It's just been one of those mornings. More in my head than in reality. If I would just calm down and stop being in a bad mood, things would be fine. Things are fine. I'm just PISSED (6) for no good reason. Stupid, bitchy me.

Apparently I've flaked on my two friends Cathy too many times lately. I had forgotten about our planned get together last week and when Cathy J. called me on Tuesday night to remind me/find out what the hell was up with me, I told her that I was so sorry...I'd forgotten, blah blah, it was Ron and my anniversary (which it was) yadda hem haw yadda, I'm going to China in two weeks, planning, blah yadda. So she and Cathie H. got together without me. I got another email on Monday from the two of them asking about this Thursday. I basically said sure, so far so good, but something might come up, as a lot has been happening lately. When I sat down to check my emails this morning, there was one from Cathy J. telling me that she needs a final answer on whether or not we're going to get together with Cathie H. tomorrow. I've been soooo shitbrained and flakey with them lately and they just keep tryin'. It's nice of them to want to include me... I hate that I keep leading people on and hurting them more in the long run than if I just come out with the truth. All I have to do is TELL them that I'm freaking out and I don't really feel like going out to dinner or whatever 'cause I just can't afford it right now! Shit, I know how to answer them, but I don't want to disappoint them AGAIN. ARRRGGHGHGHG!!!! I can probably make it tomorrow night. Shit... I'll figger sometin' out. It's really no big deal.

So if the old neighbor calls today I'm supposed to get together with her tonight. We said we'd shoot for this week. Let's see if that happens. With her it'll just be a little outing for coffee and no driving, as she lives only about five blocks from me. My wallet can handle that. Let's see if SHE manages to bug the shit outta me. Buggin' the shit seems to be my motto today. I woke up with my shit totally bugged this morning. Ya know, I'm gonna go TAKE a shit. Maybe that'll help. I'll be back later, hopefully in a better mood.

Boom BOOM Shakka Lakka

I just wanted to say how much I LOVE the weather we're having! No, really, I'm not being sarcastic. We're getting the leftovers from all of the nasty storms that have been swirling about... We've been having thunderstorms since last night. I LOVE thunderstorms! Probably because I live in "sunny" California and we don't get much in terms of "weather" around here. I like the mild weather, but sometimes it gets rather boring. I'll be thinking much differently as soon as I leave this place and end up buried in snow or blown away by a tornado or hurricane. At least you can get away from those... Can't get away from earthquakes.

It has been confirmed that government employees are retards. Since I returned to work from applying for my expedited passport on Thursday, I have been calling and requesting that they put it in will call when it's ready, instead of mailing it as had been requested on my application. Nope. Once that shit is in writing, there is NO way to change it, apparently. With all the current technology, it is hard to believe that a simple message cannot be received by the powers that be... Ten times...TEN times I checked on the status and was told that they weren't sure, that theywould send another message via email and that I should receive a call from the passport folks. Last night I was told that my passport was ready and that I would be getting a call today with a confirmation number and time at which I should pick it up. This morning was a different story, "Oh, it's been mailed." WHAT???? I hang up and call back..."Looks like they didn't get the message, I'm not sure whether it's being mailed or sent to will call. Try back." I try back an hour later..."Oh, it's been mailed, it was mailed yesterday." Exasperated me,"ARE YOU SURE??? I keep getting a different story each time I call!!" "Oh, no ma'm, I'm sure. It was mailed yesterday. You should get it today or tomorrow." AAAAAAAAARRRRRRGHHHHHGGGHGHGHGHGH!!!!!!!! I wanted it today because tonight Melanie and I were going to take them, along with our completed Visa applications, to her uncle. He knows someone at the Embassy who he is going to turn them in to so that we can get our Visas in a timely manner...hopefully within less than a week. This is the part I hate about travelling. Now I'm probably going to have to bring my app and passport to the Embassy downfuckingtown by myself. Melanie's uncle doesn't work so it's convenient for him to help us out. I HOPE it went out yesterday like the assfucks said, so that I get it today in the mail instead of tomorrow. It'll all work out. Don't worry... It'll all work out and it's gonna be SO worth a little frustration. Right?? Of course!

Nothing else too exciting going on. I went jogging again yesterday. It was pure hell again. My calves felt like they had knives sticking out of them. That's what I get for not keeping it up. But I managed to get through the whole workout. I felt GREAT afterwards. Tomorrow I'm going again.

Oh yes, I was in the cleaning mood when I got home from all that miserable jogging so I cleaned the fish tank. I cleaned out both filters and scraped all the algea. I actually enjoy doing that, I don't know why. Now it's sparkling gorgeous. Unfortunately, it seems mister weird fish that I bought a few months ago ate it...or rather, died and WAS eaten. I had a feeling that dragonfish wouldn't make it. He was too slow to get at the food. Oh well, the stupid thing hid all the time anyway. Hey, maybe he's a burrower and he comes out at night. That was a waste of $7 either way. I hate hiders.

Tonight I should go shopping for my hiking boots and sleeping bag for the trip. I don't feel like it. I just want to go home and watch a movie and fade out. The thunderstorms were fun, but cause for a fitful sleep. I'm tired again. Oh well, I think I should at least go check out Sports Chalet and get an idea of what I want. Although I LOATHE the mall and shopping in general... Oh well, I should do it anyway.

Fuck, I gotta get the shipments ready. Boring, boring entry. *yawn*

Eh

It's time to go home. I just wanted to add that I didn't meet up with the old neighbor last night. She called me, apologizing profusely... She had to work until later than she thought. It worked out well because I was so tired last night. So we're just gonna try again next week.

I notice that she seems to have aquired a very "valley girl" talk... Everything is "like" this and "like" that...very valley twangy. Interesting.

That's about it. I gotta go home and get some drinking done.

Hoo-yay

It's Friday! Again! It's a great thing...Friday. Ah, to be an office jockey who lives for the weekends. It's a living...

Yesterday's jog was all the hell I'd imagined it would be. The only fun part of it was using the new headphones Ron got me. They're awesome! The speakers go on my ears and hook behind them like glasses. The part that usually goes around the upper part of the head like a headband, is instead behind my neck. Those suckers STAY on! But the jog itself was misery because I'm a tad bit out of shape. That month or so of 'exercise vacation' is getting me back, big time. I'm not one who sweats too much and I sweat more yesterday than I think I EVER have. My entire back was soaked. There was at least two cups of moisure in the canyon between my boobs as well. Yuck. But I did it, got it overwith and was able to enjoy my homemade Juevos RRRrrrancherossss. And a bowl of ice cream. No beer or alcohol though! Replace one with the other!

This weekend there is going to be a lot of drinking. FOOTBAAAAALLL!!! Woo. We're going to Ron's friend Mitch's for a BBQ and football on Saturday night. Sunday we're meeting some of Ron's work friends at the local H@@ters for beer, hotwings and football. Yay. It's gonna be a guy's weekend for me. Should be fun!

Oh man, the shipping lady has decided to come over and babble at me while she works on stuff. Ugh. She's a sweet lil' 'ol lady but...but...*sigh* She always talks about the same things over and over and over and over. She's so excited about her retirement coming up. I'm happy for her, but I really don't need to hear about it a billion, trillion times over. She's gonna retire in the pilly-peens with her husband, who is over there at the moment building their house. But she tends to bash America a lot (over and over and over)...how expensive it is here, the shitty food, blah blah... How the pilly-peeno's are so much better at yadda yadda... Now, in response, I make sure to tell her how LUCKY she is to have been able to come over to this RICH ass (stupid) country and raise her pilly-peeno family with all the money she earned from being ABLE to work here... AND how LUCKY she is to be able to go BACK to the pilly-peens with all this MONEY to retire with! Ugh... Oh good, here comes another order for her to go back to the warehouse (and get the fuck outta my hair) to pack.

Looks like it's time for lunch. I've got my usual Friday work errands to run and then I'm onna get a sammie again. Yay.

Smellin' the roses

Well, I applied for my passport this morning. My appointment was at nine so I took a few hours off of work to drive downtown to the Federal Building. So it should be ready by Monday! My first passport! Wow! Isn't that exciting?? Yea. I guess. It's good for me to have one though. Everyone has to travel at least a little bit. Anyway, I was going to have them mail it to me. Since I paid (through the nose) for the process to be expidited, I'm supposed to get it by next Wednesday. Melanie told me that I should go pick it up on Monday, however, because we still need to get our Visas and that process takes at least a week. FUCK! I'm leaving in less than two weeks! Damn! I'm so excited AND SCARED! AAAAAAAAAAA!!!!

Not much else going on today. Work is slow. I'm unmotivated when work is slow. What else is new? Despite all my exciting travel plans I'm feeling a little blah today. Not sure why. Lately I've been thinking that my 'feeling blah' is so selfish, given that all my belongings aren't floating down a river. I have that feeling again, like I need to accomplish something but I just damn don't feel like it. I'd rather smell the roses. Listen to the birds. Watch the sun set. Life is so short... I can't believe I'm almost 30. The next step is supposed to be getting married, starting a family, a mortgage... Bah. Do I want that? I want to get married, but... I don't know. Sometimes I just want to play it by ear. Let time go by and see what happens. That doesn't make sense. I might miss something.

Tonight I'm supposed to go have coffee with a chick I haven't seen in about ten years. She was a neighbor of mine. I ran into her mother at the grocery store a few weeks ago and she gave me her daughter's cell phone number, saying how much she'd probably LOVE to hear from me. We had an on and off, weird friendship. Actually, she's the evil one from an old entry. I don't know how to link entries yet. The particular entry was called "A tribute" and it's in one of my June entries. So I called her up and yes, she would LOVE to get together. Should be interesting, if anything. I'd like to see if she's changed at all.

Tonight it also jogging night. I am in NO mood to do anything. I feel so lazy today. This is precisely the reason why I SHOULD go jogging. Mabye it'll give me some fucking energy. Eck.

Tomorrow is Friday. Yay. I'll be back.

Sticky clod

I'm tired on this hump day. Ty-er-ed. My left knee is sore. I didn't stretch enough yesterday before I did my exercises. Yesterday was "focus on bad areas" day. Namely my butt and my abs. Some of those butt exercises made me contort myself in such a way that I must've pulled something or other. Ow. Advil and coffee will make it go away.

Last night was busy. I got into the cleaning mood, but still managed to avoid doing things that really need to be done... Laundry, fish tank, car wash... I'm very anal about my fish tank and I feel bad that I haven't been in the mood to clean it lately. I only have to really clean it about once every two months. It only involves draining the tank a little less than halfway, bleaching the plastic plants (1 part bleach to 5 parts water) and cleaning out the filters. I should do this on the weekend, but I've been so LAY-ZEE. The tank doesn't even look bad, to normal people anyway. There's a little algea on the plants and glass and the water's not as sparkly. Ugh. That's not as important as laundry. I'm runnin' outta undies again. And my car is a rolling dirt clod again. Even the steering wheel cover is kinda sticky. Ew. That's a new development from this weekend. Ron drove it some. Hmmm...

So maybe I'll get to laundry tonight. I dunno. I have to get something done but I'm in no mood. I know, I'm gonna go hit up the coffee pot again. Yea. Later.

Being here

HI. The last few days have been...um...nice. Not much to say. I always start my entries without thinking about them. There's actually plenty to say since I last updated. My weekend was swell. I went jogging again on Friday. Saturday I went with Melanie to get my passport pictures taken. We also started a list of things we need to do and buy before the trip. This week's goal is to get my passport. I already have an appointment at the Federal building. I just need a certified copy of my birth certificate, which I'm going to try to get after work today. Sunday was the last beach trip of the summer with cousin Mark and the kiddie-pooh. The weather was nice but the water was way too cold to swim. It was an enjoyable day for all, anyhow. 'Cept Ron was a bit hung over from the Saturday night concert he went to with some friends from work. A nice boys night out for him. He got home at 3 a.m. all pumped from the experience. He said he wished I'd have been there 'cause it was so much fun and he missed me. Awww... Of course I was the good girlfriend and told him how happy I was for him that he'd had such a great time and that he needed it. We stayed up 'til 5 a.m., forgetting that we had made plans with Mark for the beach. I couldn't fall asleep because Ron was snoring like a freight train. That's another reason I didn't swim on Sunday. Too tired. After the beach on Sunday we didn't do much. I completely blacked out in the car on the way home. All I remember is getting on the freeway and then we were in my driveway. And my neck was killing me. I did go with Melanie to pick up our plane tickets from her dad. I have tickets in hand... WOO!

Yesterday was a slow day at work. Add the fact that some dipshit at the power company screwed up the works causing a MAJOR blackout... Not a very eventful day. Plenty of daily poo-poo work to do, but I just fibble fabbled around...did what I had to though. After work was an impromptu visit with Lisa. She's the new convert to the girl's side. 'Member her? I don't know how to link entries, but I mention her in one of my first entries. Anyway, I had to drop the keys off at her house 'cause I'd watched her kitties last week while she and her girlfriend were in Hawaii for a wedding. Fun fun. It was nice seeing her. Hadn't really talked to her all summer. I had a lot to tell and so did she. So we ended up talking for hours and then the three of us went to dinner when her girlfriend got home. I'm getting better with the whole thing, it's not quite so weird anymore. She's still having some major emotional problems, however. Poor girl...up and down, UP and DOWN. I can completely relate and tried to offer as much advice as I could. Namely...DON'T EVER stop taking your meds. She stopped over the week of the trip and has become an emotional ball of nerves. This is where my duty as a lifelong friend comes in. Gotta be there for her. Yea, all us fucking nutjobs gotta be there for each other!

Seems it's time for me to stop complaining about not having any friends. Since my little sorry for myself session about three weeks ago, I've gotten quite a few 'hints' that I have pah-lenty of people who care about me. Even little miss popular emailed me yesterday. YUP. The Myspace whore. She seemed quite apologetic. But now I know what kind of person she is. Kinda flighty. I don't "need" her anymore. My little backing off strategy worked for me and for her. Always does. That's life. So simple unless you complicate it.

Speaking of life... A fucking fleeting thing, life. Another email buddy told me yesterday that she lost two of her best friends in a car accident over the weekend. She hadn't talked to them in a few weeks. They died in a rockslide on Sunday. Holy shit. Another thing to blow me away. Put things in perspective, again. So many of those little "perspective setting" happenings. I'm feeling a little weird today, been thinking too much again.

Today marks 10 months with Ron. They've flown. It's almost been a YEAR. A year seems so short, compared to my six year ordeal with dickhead. But a year is a lot when you feel like you've known the person for much longer. Add to that fact the whole way we just mesh...and it's all good. He even got me a card. He left it out for me to discover this morning. It was beautiful. I'm so in love. It's a gift to be in love. Never forget it. Never take it for granted.

Okay, I need to get some work done so I can call Lisa. She needs to talk more. It's time for me to do what I do best...and just be there for her.

PARTY!!! Sure, that's what it is...

YEA! We're havin' FFFuuuun! Gee, is it a pic from last Friday? Why, yes it is! WWhhheeee are DORKS! Yes, yes we ARE!!

Look! We're hanging out! Isn't that exciting! Yea, Ron is sittin' on his amp just being the sexy schmoozer he is.

Portrait of me by Pickles' cage. I was a little 'out of it'. Shoving the camera at Ron..."Take a piccher! Take a piccher!" Dork. Fun being a Dork.

Cha-Cha-Cha-CHINA!!

Well, I officially have a ticket to China. I can't believe this...I'm going to China. I've never left the country and I'm going to China. How foreign can you get?? HOLY FUCKIN' SHIT! WWWEEeeeeeeHOooooooooooo!!!!!! I'm so excited! I'm gonna go fucking BACKPACKING on the fucking WALL! It's time to grab life by the BALLS I tell ya! Okay, okay... I just hope this getting my passport business isn't too complicated. Gonna be starting that process tomorrow, 'cause I ain't got much time! I'm going to CHINA!!!!

More poop

I'm feeling a bit 'Had' at the moment. I'm done spending money on vet appointments for Stanley's teeth for a while. Yesterday's appointment really pissed me off...as stated here in an email to my friend:

----------------------------------------

Stan is doing fine... *sigh* I got totally REEEEEEEEEEEEMED by that second vet I took him to...the cat specialist. I expected it to be expensive, but I guess I expected more of an answer. More of a difinitive answer, at least. I first took him there two weeks ago to be checked out. They took urine and gave him different medications. Cost me $230. They told me to bring him back in two weeks (which was yesterday) and in the meantime, fax in his blood test results (from an earlier vet visit at the other place that cost me $250) so that they could evaluate that along with the urine and rule out any other problems. M'kay... So I go back yesterday and the doctor looks at him for all of five minutes. Tells me that nothing showed up in the urine test and the blood test wasn't extensive enough to see anything, either... It SHOULD HAVE been! That damn blood test alone cost me $50! He said his gums look better though, which they did because of the meds and cortisone shot from two weeks ago. So he just gives me more meds (antibiotics and the same meds from two weeks ago, not sure what they're called but it's a therapy for this gum thing that's helped in the past) and tells me to come back in three weeks again... Okay...yesterday cost me another $130. Can you see a trend here? So I ask them what I'm supposed to do and tell them that I can't afford to keep coming back. The tech "suggests" that I do as much research as I can and see what's out there. Great! THANKS! Basically, these vets don't know what the fuck they're doing about this fucking disease. They're just "trying" new shit and charging me up the ass all the way. I'm sorry, but I'm mad. I've spent $600 on vet bills for Stan this year for his fucking teeth and that's IT. I love him to peices, but this is rediculous. I can't afford this anymore. This cat vet butthead said that he doesn't have it bad enough, where his teeth would have to be removed. He said he's seen much worse cases. Okay, that's some news at least. All the other damn vet kept saying is that his teeth are horrible and he's fat. This vet says he looks just fine. The other vet neglected to tell me that she is so worried about his weight because she's been treating him with cortisone and that is known to increase chances of diabetes in overweight cats. Never told me that... Just he's fat, he's gotta lose weight. HE IS 15 pounds! He's a big cat! Shit, lady! So I am FED the fuck up! I'm going to stretch out the meds they gave me and NOT go back to that place. My next thing is to check out homiopathic treatments...talk to people, do more research. I am done for now. Another expensive lesson learned. When all else fails I'm having his teeth extracted and getting him DENTURES! Shit!
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So that's that. It's been a nice week. Last night Melanie called and talked more about going to China to stay with our friend Devon at the end of this month. She's going to stay a week. She had told me last week when she came over. I was amazed that she was already doing it. I asked her how and she told me...it's not as expensive as I thought! Then she asked if I'd like to go, too, 'cause it's a once in a lifetime thing to have someone you know staying in the orient. What the hell! I'm gonna do it! Now it's just scrambling to get my Visa and Passport. Her dad is an avid traveler, so he's looking into tickets for me. Hopefully it'll all work out. I don't have much time, but this is really something I want to do. An experience for the non-traveler. It'll be good for me...don't stress out. Hehehe...

Hmmm, not much else going on. Toby is still cute as hell and I'm going to try to get pics of him this weekend. I had him and Pickles out on the playstand last night and they're getting along okay...'cept when Pickles decides to be a little brat. But I think he's pretty happy about having another lil' birdy inna house. Yea...'cause I can tell, ya know? The birdies...they talk to me. *blink* *blink*

Plans for this weekend? One last beach trip with Ron, cousin Mark and his son. We're going to "the rock" beach again. It's just beautiful there. It's damn overcast today. I love it for a change, but it's not good beach weather. Oh well, we may just stay in and cuddle all weekend.

Back to work...I have errands to run. And then after work, I gots to run. Then I'm gonna go home and do a big poop. Yea. What IS it with the word poop, you ask? I'm just a weirdo. Later!

Alcoholic

Is it Tuesday already? UUGHGHGhgghgrrghghaaa!!! Poop turd shit holes! How can the long weekend go by so quickly? Why? WHYY??? It seems like only yesterday that I was slurring the words, "...and it's only FRY-daayy!"

My little get end of the summer get together turned out to be a blast. I've even got pictures!!! ...for a later entry. Those pictures will be included with the ones that I will be taking of Toby sometime in the near future. Didn't want to scare him with the camera contraption right away. I'm really bad at taking pictures, too. It's always like, "AH hell! You're right! I should have brought a camera!" The pics from Friday are really nothing terribly exiting. Lessee...we've got one of Melanie and I with half of her face cut off, a blurry pic of Stan and I with half MY face cut off... I think there's one of everyone sitting in the livingroom. Well, the livingroom/den/dining area. That's all I can remember at the moment.

It was the perfect social gathering of friends and everyone was so comfortable with each other. I'm still so amazed when this happens because hey, I ain't exactly the "social butterfly". Small, intimate gatherings of two or three people are my thing. There were actually FIVE of my friends IN MY HOUSE on Friday night! Melanie, Tyra, Dave, Mike and of course, Ron. Wait...he doesn't count. Does he? Well, I'll make him count. Hehehe! It was great though. We stayed up 'til the wee hours just talking, laughing and being plain silly.

Once again I will say, I could NEVER ever do this with my ex...have people over and be drinking and smoking (out) together. He'd always be afraid the cops were on their way to bust us all and therefore, eradicate all chances of him ever (ever) becoming a city or county fireman. NO offense to all city, county fireman/cops/good, straight people. Your services are of utmost importance to society. My ex's main problem was not accepting me for who I was around these certain friends. I could never actually BE myself around these people if he was there. So, you're in a field that doesn't allow drugs. You were never into them. So what, you still have to accept ME for who I AM. I'm sorry, I'm an artist. I like to drink and smoke. I like to, uh, travel in my mind. Yea, that's it! These are bad habits, I know, but I really try to keep them in check (bad excuse...ahem). I don't let things get too out of hand. He didn't give me credit for having a brain and knowing when enough is enough. And of course, I don't plan on "partying" for the rest of my life. I CAN'T when (and if) I have kids! Hell no!!!

Ron, by the way, has quit "partying" so much since he's over 30. I'm thinking I'll be slowing things down around 30 as well. His last drug experience was on his 30th birthday. Also, his current occupation does not allow for drugs anymore, as he gets random drug tests. He does have an affection for beer though and doesn't hesitate to have a few after a hard day...or...um...a day. But he's not into hard alcohol, I've found. Poor guy has gotten more than one nasty hangover from drinking too much vodka with me.

Gawd, I sound like an alocholic drug addict! But I'm not! Like I've said before, *singsong voice* I can quit whenever I want! No really, there comes a time in life when that shit's gotta stop. I never went away to college, I was a good girl all through highschool... Hell, it's okay to use my twenties to get some of this shit out of my system. Just don't let it take over. I have a head on my shoulders that works MOST of the time, so I know this. Really.

On to the rest of my weekend. BORE. RING. We were gonna go on a bike ride, run various errands, have a bbq, go to the beach, go to the movies, lalalalalala... The only thing we managed to peel our asses off the couch for was the bbq last night. It was just too fucking HOT to do anything else. I wanted to exercise but I was too tired! I should stick to the theme and say that it had to do with the copious (nice word, I like it!) amounts of cannibus inhaled by me...bad, bad girl!!! It wasn't yer typical stuff, however... I don't know WHERE my brother got this but I was in a fucking COMA for an hour after smoking. Then came the munchies. Holy beee-jeebus the munchies!!! Okay, so all I did was sit around and eat all weekend. Again. This is becoming an all too regular thing. I am a loser. Shit.

Oh well, back on track come today. I can't lay around any more. My back was killing me this morning...from all the laying around. I'm going for a jog tonight...or tomorrow. Either way I have to get some exercise again. For now I'm going to work on finishing my workday without anymore distractions. I must use what few brain cells remain. Fuck, that's not funny...

Thinking Thankful

I feel it's somewhat necessary for me to post something about the tragedy in New Orleans... It's awful to think about. I can't believe what's happened. Yet another reminder that I should be thankful for what I have. It's so easy to say, "Be thankful for what you have, it could be taken away at ANY moment", without really THINKING about it. Well, in light of what's happened over there...I'm thinking. Yes. And I'm thankful. And I'm praying...

Buddies

There's Caramel (the one with the lighter colored head)curled up with one of her new buddies, Shrew. Shrew is a dumbo rat. You can't see it in the picture, but dumbo rats have bigger ears that are on the sides of their heads. They're pretty funny looking little mutants. Hehehe... Shrew was a bit aggressive toward Caramel at first, kept chasing her and getting in little scuffs with her while we watched. It wasn't long 'til they settled down though. Not much longer (the next day, actually) 'til they were cuddling like this. AAAAaaaaaaaawwwwwwwww!!!!!!!

Soooprize, sooooprize!

Last night I got home and Ron had a surprise for me. Just because. I know...nausiating, isn't it? He may have his faults, but who the hell doesn't? He has proven to be such a thoughtful, caring man so many times over in the months that we've been dating. I guess I should enjoy it while it lasts and most importantly, REMEMBER these things when times get tough...as they inevitably do in all relationships. It's just the nature of the beast. I know it's still just the beginning, but we're just building the foundation of love that is needed for long term survival. Yes, uh-huh. I sound like Doctor fucking Phil. Anyway, when I got home last night he was like, "Go to the fridge and look over your right shoulder...follow the red flower..." So I do just that and what do I see? On my bookshelf is a little square wrapped in the Sunday funnies with a red hibiscus flower taped to it like a bow. Awwwww... I go over and sit on the couch next to him to open it. He got me the 4 DVD set of old Warner Brothers cartoons! I have been wanting that since it came out a year ago! I had mentioned this about three weeks ago, when we went music shopping. I had seen it on the shelf then and I couldn't afford it. Wow. He remembered. Damn, he's so fucking thoughtful!!!! I love him so much... 'Kay, don't puke...I'm sorry...

OH! One more thing... If that's not enough, later on in the evening he rescued Pickles off of the garage ROOF! Yes, I know all about birds and how they can fly even if they only have ONE flight feather and a slight breeze. 'Cept I didn't think about that yesterday when I took Pickles and Toby outside to show my neighbor's little girl. She reached up to pet Pickles again, after she'd pet him several times, and for some reason he freaked and took off. I just stood there slack-jawed, watching my pet fly onto the roof...waaayyy the hell outta reach. What was the FIRST thing outta my stupid mouth? "OH SHIT (naturally) I'd better clip him!" If I get him back alive, that is. If a fucking CROW or HAWK doesn't swoop down and grab his little bright colored, vulnerable as hell ass off the ROOF, THAT IS!!!! AAAAAA!!!! Amazing, I did not panic. I didn't have time to! Ron to the rescue! *Blaring trumpets* The guy scaled the fucking garage WALL. He jumped up and got ahold of the roof with his hands and lifted himself onto the roof, all in about 5 seconds! It was quite funny watching a grown man chase a waddling little bird around. Pickles: "Peep peep peep peep PEEEEPP!!!!" Ron: "Good bird, gooooooood bird. C'mere...c'mere...it's okay...GET BACK HERE YOU LITTLE SHIT! C'mere...c'mere..." Eventually he was able to get Pickles to fly down to me...well, the ground anyway. *whew* Thank you, honey!!!!

Last night was pretty damn fun. After the bird fiasco we went in the house to commence watching cartoons. Aaahhhh... The simple life.

I'm looking forward to the long weekend, of course. Who the hell wouldn't be?? Tonight I'm having some friends over for an end of the summer party. We might barbeque, we might not. Who knows. We're just gonna party and see what happens. It'll be Melanie, Tyra, Mike and his friend Bam (nickname of course, I still don't know what his real name is) Ron and I. Just a little get together, gonna play things by ear. Melanie and I just LOVE playing things by ear! Mmmm-hmmm! We'll see what happens! Should be lots of fun.

I don't know what's up for the rest of the weekend. I'll probably spend tomorrow recovering from tonight. I really want to go on a nice bike ride again, perhaps a trail in the valley or something...since it's cooled down and all. Yup, the wind started blowing Monday evening and that usually means a change in the weather. It's gradually gotten cooler all week. Happy happy joy joy. I was able to exercise this week, too. Tuesday I did a full body muscle workout and Thursday I went for a jog. It felt great and I feel all skinny today. Well, not skinny...but, uh...muscular I guess. I will never be skinny, nor do I ever want to be. I like to be athletic looking. A little well distributed cellulite is not a bad thing. Just so long as I have a nice shape, which I do. This semi-regular exercise really helps me to keep in overall good shape. Not to mention, it helps me not feel so bad when I pig out.

Ah hell, Ron just called and he got another fucking parking ticket from parking on my street last night. He was on the wrong side again. Damnit! I hate my street. There's NEVER any parking and you gotta watch the signs like a hawk. They're like..."NO PARKING on Wednesdays between 9 a.m. and 6 p.m., NO PARKING on Friday between 8 a.m. and 10 a.m...." Gotta make sure you read the signs! Ugh.

Alrighty, time to get a little work done before I head out to get lunch for the three of us. We did very well in sales last month so we's gonna celebrate! Woowoowoooooo!!! Lookin' forward to a nice, huge sandwich. I didn't eat much dinner last night and therefore I am getting hungry.

Bye bye!

The Haps

Ah, reporting to the diary after an eventful few days. Well, not all THAT eventful, given the fact that it's so fucking hot again. No, I won't start another complaining about the heat rant. I promise.

First off that Toby bird is a piggy! He eats three times as much as Pickles! It's because he's such an energetic little fellow, constantly hopping from toy to toy and peeping gleefully the whole time. Little turbo Toby! And I was worried he wouldn't eat enough or adjust well. So far he's doing great and he's cute as a button. I love that saying...cute as a button. It's cute as a button. 'Kay, yea... I'm very happy with Toby...he's curious and playful and adjusting very well so far to his new surroundings and me. He just needs to settle into the routine now. He's still pretty apprehensive about me reaching into his cage to take him out but eventually he'll calm down and get into the routine as Pickles has. I'll have to try to get a picture of him, he's so pretty. I didn't realize how many colors of green and blue he had. And he's just going to get more and more gorgeous as he molts because he's got great eating habits. He's going to help me improve Pickles' eating habits, I'm sure. They did a great job with him and I'm very glad I decided to buy a bird from this particular store. They really know their shit!

Okay, on to my weekend. Friday night Ron came with me to drop Caramel off at her new home. Bless his heart, this place was in timbuck-fucking-toooo. It would have taken us only an hour to get there, but Ron pulled the typical guy-that-thinks-he-knows-where-he's-going-don't-ask-for-directions-my-mind-is-a-map thing. Ended up taking an hour and forty-five gas guzzling minutes ONE way. We got home much faster at least and I was very happy to have the company on the drive. Although the drive was the pain in the ass, I couldn't have been happier to see Caramel's new real esatate. And what a sweet couple! They were exactly our age and we had a lovely time chatting and joking with them while we watched the rats to see how they all got along. The cage this girl had for her two rats was a ferret cage, so it was HUGE. It had all kinds of toys...ropes, ladders, tubes, balls, platforms and hideaways...a rat theme park in a cage! She told me how she lets them out every day, feeds them fresh veggies and treats every day...just wonderful! These were her only pets so she doted on them, of course. The three rats got along famously. It wasn't long (after sniffing every orifice on Caramel) before they were playing and chasing each other all around the giant cage. I was so happy and relieved when I left. The girl is going to keep me updated on her progress, too. So far I've gotten an email from her telling me how great they all get along and that she'll send me a picture of the three of them cuddling. AAWWWWWWwwww!!!! What a happy ending. Whew!

On to Saturday, another blazing day. Ron and I decided to head to the beach for a bike ride. It was great fun until we were on our way back to the car. We had decided to park the car up on the streets, near a cool car show that was going on. So we parked, checked out the cars for while (Ron drooled over them) and then rode down to the bike trail by the sand. We about 15 miles north of the beach we parked at, to a strip of bars and restaurants along the docks of another beach. Once we got there we proceded to drink yummy beers at this bar Ron used to go to with his surfer buddies. Ron has exquisite taste in imported beer and before long I was kinda sorta shitfaced. I just had to try that one...aaaand this one...and, um...that one and this one. We made sure to sit around and sober up some before we made the ride back...by which time it was beginning to get dark. On the way back things got scary because I lost Ron. He got way ahead of me, as he always does and I kept expecting him to come back to get me...as he always does. So when I didn't see him for a long while I started to panic. Naturally. I decided to start asking people if they had cell phones I could use. Ron had his, but I didn't have mine...my first mistake. Before long I found a woman with a cell phone and she let me use it, although begrudgingly it seemed. I was obviously worried and upset, tears streaming down my face. She didn't seem to care...she had an attitude like, "would you hurry up, you stupid bitch..." So I tried his phone and he wasn't answering. I gave her the phone back and thanked her. She took it and gave me a weird look, something between a half smirk and a frown and walked off without a word. I thought...strange...m'kay, fuck you too bitch. Then I hurried on my way, panicking and crying the whole way. I reached the bottom of the street we'd parked on in no time, it seemed, because I was pedaling like a mutherfucker. Still crying and looking all around, not knowing what to do... I heard a woman call out to me. There was a nice couple in a van...ahhhh....I told them the whole scenario and they offered to let me use their cell phone. He still didn't answer and they offerend to take me and my bike back to the car to see if he was there. There ARE nice people in this world! So they took me to the car and in the meantime Ron called their cell...THANK GOD! He was on his way to the car...

It turns out that Ron had stopped to pee along the trail and I just merrily sailed right past him. It must have been in a spot where there were a lot of people and I didn't see him at all. He waited and waited for me to show up and then ended up back tracking to try to find me. He noticed a missed call on his cell and quickly called the number back. This was the woman who's phone I'd used first. I don't know what that woman's problem was, but she was extremely rude to Ron. He told me how she started actually YELLING at him, "Why aren't you with your girlfriend?! You should keep track of your girlfriend, she's with the police now!" Then she hung up on him. I was apalled when I heard that! How dare her assume such things! Ron was so angry that he called her back and said, "I'm sorry, we got off on the wrong foot..." And she says, "Yea, whatever..." To which he replies, "FUUUUCK YOOOOUUUUU!!!!" *click* By this time he had really started panicking, too, and was riding like a maniac through the stupid people who just INSISTED on walking on the bike trail. In trying to avoid hitting a couple, Ron ended up flying off the trail and crashing in the sand. He cut his wrist pretty badly. By the time he got to me, he was all dishevelled and upset. He was actually crying! Poor, poor guy... I felt so bad! I started crying and apologizing all over him. He started crying and apologizing all over me. It was like a fucking corny ass movie! "I'm so sorry!" "NO, I'M sorry!" "No, no no! I'm sorry! I thought I'd lost you!!" Eeesh. To lighten the mood I told him that while I'd been waiting for him by the car, I had to pee so bad that I'd just pulled down my shorts, sat on the edge of the curb and whizzed in the street. That picture, along with the still apparent puddle running under the car, set us both off laughing like dorks. Then we got the fuck outta there. We both blamed ourselves for the incident and promised NEVER to lose track of each other like that again. Little scary lesson there. We were so lucky nothing happened.

So that was Saturday...whew. Sunday we spent lounging, drinking homemade margaritas and watching movies all day. Then we got some crazy chicken and ate like pigs. Mmmmmmm...I was blowing the covers off the bed with my lovely, loud farts all night. DAMN those pinto beans!

I finally finally FINALLY went grocery shopping yesterday. I can't believe how long I put it off this time. Then I came home and cleaned up the mountain of weekend dishes. We weren't even home that much and we managed to dirty a shitload of dishes. But I finally have some energy again, even though it's hot out. I'm in the mood to get my exercise routine back on track. So tonight I'm staying at the office to do a small workout. Hopefully it'll be cool enough on Thursday for me to go for a short jog. I can't go too long without exercise or I feel like shit. It's almost time, I'd better wrap up...

Kinks are smoothin'

OH boy oh boy oh boyyy!!! Lil' Toby beerrdie beeerd is hoooome! Yaaayy!! I picked his tiny ass up after work yesterday. What a little pistol he is! He kept looking at me, cocking his little head to the side and eyeing me on and off all the way home. All the while he chirped to the radio with his cute little teeny chirp. Once I got him home, I took him over in his little carrying cage and showed him to Pickles, who chirped his approval...well, he made all sorts of noises at Toby...it was adorable. Then I took him out of the carrier to hold him a bit before I put him in his cage. He did NOT like that...he was nipping and nipping and that soon turned to BITING...OUCH! Actually, it wasn't too bad, he wasn't drawing blood like Apples the parakeet used to do. He was just scared to death, being in an entirely new place and all. So I finally took the hint and put him in his cage to settle in. I just have to work with him little by little and he's sure to come around once he's more comfortable with his new surroundings. Yesterday was a lot for him to take.

The lady at the store was great, too. She sent me off with all sorts of free stuff...three new toys, tons of good food and a new little carrying cage. So Toby is set. Although, I have to bring him in Saturday or Sunday for a weigh in, just to make sure he's not losing too much weight from being stressed and not eating enough. I hope he eats some of the millet spray I put in his cage this morning before I left. I like to call millet bird pot. The little tight groupings of seeds are all lined up on a big stem, just like pot buds... Hehe...and birds got nuts for it. They LOVE it.

Oh yea, and a funny thing happened when I was picking Toby up. A guy came in at the same time I did to pick up his little parrotlet. His was from the same clutch as mine. He brought in the cage he bought for the bird to bring him home in. The cage happened to be the EXACT same one I had gotten for Toby...'cept it was black and mine is white. The bird store lady saw it and RIGHT away said,"Oh, that's the perfect size for one parrotlet, that's PLENTY big!" HAHA! I so wanted to tell her about the pink elephant her husband tried to sell me! All I said was, "COOL! I have the same one!" Isn't that awesome?! I know...I get excited over the lamest things.

Very good news on the Caramel front! Wednesday, Ron and I had gone to the local Pe*co to see if they would take her. As it turned out, they had too many rats up for adoption already and couldn't take in another one. So we left and on the way home Ron told me that he wanted to keep Caramel and would take on most of the responsibility for her. What a sweetheart. Here he is, allergic to her, and he wanted to keep her. He said he'd go out and buy her one of those hamster balls to run around in and some more cage accessories. AWWW.... I thought this would be fine, at least until I found someone to adopt her. Well, yesterday I got an email from a woman who wants her! She's got two other female rats that are around Caramel's age and a huge cage to put them all in! I was so relieved and I let her know in my email with WAY too many enthusiastic THANK YOOOUUUs!!!!...I'm sure... So Caramel has a home to go to, one that is much better than what Ron and I would have been able to provide for her. The only catch is that the lady lives kinda far from me, about an hour or so. I'm just going to leave tonight when the traffic dies down I guess. I want to get her out of that lonely cage and into her new, lovely home as soon as possible.

I have SO learned my lesson from this fiasco. I will NOT get any more pets. Everyone keeps telling me, "Pfft, oh yea...FAMOUS last words!" This time I mean it though. I feel awful for running out and getting all these animals without thinking of how it'll be in the long run. That's so immature of me. I have to be a responsible adult now and take good care of the pets that I already have. It's going to stay at Stanley cat, Pickles bird, Toby bird, Rosie tarantula and fishies. That is enough. The next time I get an urge I will definately think of all that I went through this year. However, I AM proud of myself, as I should be. I DID manage to find homes for my unwanted pets. It all turned out for the best.

Last night turned out to be a blast. Ron and I went out for sushie. It was a special treat, as we can't afford to do it often. We went for the "All you can eat" special and it was wonderful. We stuffed ourselves to duh gills! Yes, oh so appropriate a saying when it comes to sushie, doncha 'tink? I actually think it's better when you don't get to do it so often, makes it all the more appreciated. Afterwards we went over to Melanie's house to hang 'cause I hadn't seen her in a while. A couple of Melanie's guy friends were there, too. We all had a great time being silly and laughing. Ron fits in so well with my friends, it's wonderful... I can't express how absolutely fabulous it is to have a boyfriend that I don't have to worry about embarrassing me. I didn't realize how important this was to a relationship. I'd always separated my friends and boyfriend when I was dating dickhead. Although I don't have too many friends, it's still important to me that I be comfortable having them around my boyfriend.

Well that's it for now. I can't wait 'til this day is over. I'm so glad it's Friday. It's hot as fuck out again. Oh well. I'll be sure to drink plenty of beer.

Nads

Okay, WHO IN THE HELL thought it would be cool to have fake NADS hanging from the back of their truck/SUV???!! WHO??!! What in the FUCK is THAT??

When I first came upon this atrocity, the said nads were in a black "sac" of sorts dangling from the trailer hitch of a very stupid looking truck which was an obvious "penis extension" to its lame driver. You know the kind of truck, accessorized to the tee and complete with the elevation reserved for a fucking RIG. One knew these particular dangling objects were meant to represent nads due to their authentic "one-hanging-just-a-smidge-lower-than-the-other" disposition.

I had hoped this phenomenon would not catch on, as it is completely lame, absurd, atrocious, disgusting and all of a string of many more unflattering descriptive words that I would be able to tack onto this sentence. To my ultimate dismay it seems to be in its infancy of doing just that...catching on, becoming somewhat of a trend. In the past six months since my first sighting, have been SIX more...and they're not all black anymore. Some have been just silver balls and others...others have actually been PINK. The most disturbing sighting thus far was yesterday's. I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw pink ones hanging from what I like to refer to as "a pregnant rollerskate". I think it was a Geo or an Aspire or some other cheap, gas efficient pile. WHY???? I thought these obnoxious things were reserved only for those with the "balls" to drive huge, gas guzzling monsters! HUH??!

Of course this is just my opinion, but what is UP with these?? I simply HATE utterly retarded trends like these. This fits right in with those fucking "Calvin pissing" stickers. 'Member those? AARRGGHGHGHG!!!! OH and don't forget the dorks driving the huge SUVs with the "Family" stick figure stickers on the back window. "Look! This is how many fuckheaded lametards (like me) I'VE added to the overpopulated world thus far!" Yea, I know...me and my harsh opinions. People will do what they want and I have no control over it.

Sorry...I just can't help it. My inner cynic takes control, especially in the cyber pages of this diary where it is free to roam. It's much better to let it out here than let it get me killed in the real world. I should learn to control it and not let these miniscule things get to me so much. Ron tells me that often. I find myself telling HIM that, too. Just go on with life, do whatcher gonna do and don't worry so much about all the stupid, harmless things that other people do. Yea, in writing this I see just what a knitpicking BITCH I am. Oh well...just another thing to work on I guess. But I STILL HATE those fucking NADS!!! Hehehehehe!!!