Oh no...this story isn't about me. It is a story that I came across on the 'ol innernetus. A story that illustrates the depths of insanity in this world. For those with strong stomachs and morbid curiosity, only... Even then, be sure you haven't eaten recently before reading this.
Now, I (er, the unfortunate sap who wrote this experience out) bring you A Shit Story.
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Monday, September 29, 2008
Stormy weather
What a week I've had. It started with the car accident and then moved on with fighting and more fighting. We had ANOTHER fight on Saturday. This was due to my bottling up of everything all week and then spilling it on him like sewage. Of course it made him upset. Then I got upset. Then the world turned upside down for a few hours. Luckily I had Melanie again. She picked me up and took me back to her house so that I could compose myself and relax. Then Ron called and once again there were apologies on both sides. I know... This is getting old and it can't go on. We have problems that need to be sorted out by a third party. I'm trying to get in to see a counselor before November. I have to call the office again today and find out if they found me an alternative therapist that isn't booked 'til November. I'll probably just have to wait for a cancellation though.
Well, at least the week started on a decent note. I got the cleaning bug yesterday and could NOT stop cleaning. I'd start one thing, move on to another, go back to the other thing, start another thing... I ended up cleaning the doors, windows and ceiling fan, dusting the tables, vacuuming and mopping the kitchen and bathroom. I also mopped the porch. That was a can of worms. We live upstairs over the garage, so there's a painted balcony and staircase from our front door. It gets terribly dusty, so I filled the trash can I'd been rinsing and poured it down the stairs. I love watching all the dirt and grime cascade down down down the stairs. Of course that only produced mud on the porch, so I had to dump water all over the porch, too. Then I had to get the mop to finish it up. And once I was done cleaning the house, I still had to clean the fish tank. Aaahh... But it felt SO GOOD to cleeeeann!! It really helps me relax. Being surrounded by clutter and filth just makes me so uptight! When I was done I melted into the couch.
That brings me to today. The beginning of another week. I hope it's better than last week. I'll try my best to make it so. I have to get over this depression and be strong. Everything will be fine. Speaking of strong, I'm gonna go make some more coffee 'cause this shit is weak. UGH. Weak coffee SUCKS.
Edited to add:
I just read Chris' blog and it made me think about the big mistake I've made, getting emotionally involved with someone before we realized our gaping differences. Of course that's one of the main reasons we're having so much trouble. I got involved with someone who has had vastly different life experiences than I have. He had a nasty childhood and has many unresolved issues. What was I thinking?! I ignored all the red flags, just like so many other people do. Now I feel like I'm stuck. Well, I got myself here so I'm going to have to get myself out. Not out of the relationship, but out of this hole that we've dug ourselves into. If he wants to follow me out, great. If not, I'm afraid I'm going to have to leave him in the darkness that he insists on creating.
Okay, that's it. Really. I have to fucking work now. I need another vacation...
Well, at least the week started on a decent note. I got the cleaning bug yesterday and could NOT stop cleaning. I'd start one thing, move on to another, go back to the other thing, start another thing... I ended up cleaning the doors, windows and ceiling fan, dusting the tables, vacuuming and mopping the kitchen and bathroom. I also mopped the porch. That was a can of worms. We live upstairs over the garage, so there's a painted balcony and staircase from our front door. It gets terribly dusty, so I filled the trash can I'd been rinsing and poured it down the stairs. I love watching all the dirt and grime cascade down down down the stairs. Of course that only produced mud on the porch, so I had to dump water all over the porch, too. Then I had to get the mop to finish it up. And once I was done cleaning the house, I still had to clean the fish tank. Aaahh... But it felt SO GOOD to cleeeeann!! It really helps me relax. Being surrounded by clutter and filth just makes me so uptight! When I was done I melted into the couch.
That brings me to today. The beginning of another week. I hope it's better than last week. I'll try my best to make it so. I have to get over this depression and be strong. Everything will be fine. Speaking of strong, I'm gonna go make some more coffee 'cause this shit is weak. UGH. Weak coffee SUCKS.
Edited to add:
I just read Chris' blog and it made me think about the big mistake I've made, getting emotionally involved with someone before we realized our gaping differences. Of course that's one of the main reasons we're having so much trouble. I got involved with someone who has had vastly different life experiences than I have. He had a nasty childhood and has many unresolved issues. What was I thinking?! I ignored all the red flags, just like so many other people do. Now I feel like I'm stuck. Well, I got myself here so I'm going to have to get myself out. Not out of the relationship, but out of this hole that we've dug ourselves into. If he wants to follow me out, great. If not, I'm afraid I'm going to have to leave him in the darkness that he insists on creating.
Okay, that's it. Really. I have to fucking work now. I need another vacation...
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Some witty responses for the nosey assholes
I told you I was only done...FOR NOW. Ah, but I've got another coloring project in the works. For now, here's a list of things we often hear from parents, and some quick and easy responses:
When are you going to have kids?
~When I run out of better things to do.
~When are you going to stop being so nosy?
~Oh I'm too busy practicing. Maybe when I prefect my technique.
~When are you going to lose weight?
~When they come potty trained.
~When minivans are sexy, childcare is free and they come with on/off switches.
Why don't you have kids?
~I haven't run out of better things to do yet.
~Why aren't you in law school? Oh, you don't want to be a lawyer? Well, I don't want to be a parent.
~Because I'm still perfecting my technique.
~Why don't you have manners?
It's different when they're your own!
~Yea, you can't give them back!
~Yeah, its WORSE!
My/Your child could grow up to cure cancer!
~It's more likely it would end up in jail!
~Why don't you cure cancer instead of living vicariously through your own kid?
~I'll bet Manson/Saddam/Bin Laden's parents said the same thing.
You were a kid once, too!
~So what's your point? (Keep repeating this no matter what excuse they make until they realize they have no point)
~And I grew out of that stage, too.
~So was Hitler!
~Yeah, and I didn't like kids then, either!
~So were you, but that's not reason for your to continue acting like one.
~Next, you're going to tell me the Yankees play in The Bronx...
Don't you want to hear the pitter patter of little feet?
~No.
~I do hear the pitter patter of little feet - dog/cat feet!
~No. I prefer moaning, screaming and furniture breaking.
Who will take care of you when you are old?
~My pension plan that I've been investing in since I was 21.
~The same people who will take care of you -- nursing home attendants.
~Who says I plan to be old?
~My 20-something lover.
Why'd you get married if you didn't want kids?
~For the same reason people get divorced -- because they can!
~Because I love my spouse and see them as more than a reproductive organ.
The only reason to get married is to have children!
~You do realize that 50% of marriages end in divorce, right? Perhaps kids are the reason people get divorced, too.
Some day you'll grow up and change your mind.
~No, I'm perfectly happy with the one I have now.
~Yea, that'll happen about the same time you grow up and change your mind, too!
~Sorry, I don't plan on growing up!
~And someday you'll get your head out of your ass. Good luck with that.
It's all worth it!
~Good! Then I'll never have to listen to you complain about your kids or parenting responsibilities again!
~What is this, a L'Oreal commercial?
You sound like a sad and bitter person!
~Hey, you're the one criticizing other people's life choices!
~I'll take sad and bitter if it means sleeping in on the weekends and having some peace and quiet at home! Sign me up!
~So what's your point?
~If you were so happy with your choices, you wouldn't be trying to make me feel bad by telling me I'm sad and bitter.
~If I am, at least I'm not passing my anger and bitterness on to the next generation like you are!
~That's "INTELLIGENT, sad and bitter." Get it right.
If everyone thought the way you did, the population would die out!
~Do you have any idea how many people there are on the planet right now?
~You do realize that after you die, it doesn't really matter, so if there are no people left, it really doesn't affect you, right?
~How is this a bad thing?
~And?
If your mom felt like you do, you wouldn't be here!
~No, but then you'd be arguing with her instead.
~Right now I'm kinda wishing YOUR mom had felt like I do.
~And I wouldn't have known the difference.
It's the most important job in the world!
~Then why aren't you out doing it?
~What about the guy who makes your disposable diapers and gigantic strollers -- you couldn't survive a day without him!
~Oh, yeah...the "Leader of the Free World" has nothing on YOU.
My kids are the best thing that ever happened to me.
~Wow, that's a sad commentary on your life.
~Gee, it's too bad you wasted all those years of your life being a child yourself since those years were just a waste of time until you got to your REAL purpose in life.
~I am greatly insulted by this. Have we achieved nothing in the last 90 years? Women can achieve just as much and more in almost all the venues men can. 1920 called and it wants you to come back to the dark ages.
You're not giving yourself much credit.
~Newsflash: Your kids are PEOPLE, not things.
You're being selfish!
~Oh, because creating a human being to amuse yourself ISN'T selfish.
~Jealous?
~How is not creating a child who won't be neglected selfish?
~I don't know, you're the one neglecting your kids while you waste time arguing with me. Some might argue that any time away from your kids is "selfish".
~And?
Children are the future!!
~Well, since most people seem to agree the future's fucked, why put them through the agony?
~That's a scary thought, since most of them are idiots who can't learn spelling or grammar.
~Thank you, Whitney Houston!
Nothing is better than 'new baby' smell!
~You mean the smell of vomit, urine, and feces?!
~You really need to get out more.
~Really? Let's see...umm...oh yeah...great, spontaneous sex that lasts for hours! (see "pitter-patter" answer for elaboration).
~I quite like "new car" smell myself. I suppose I could throw some diarreah and powder all over the seats. NAH.
When are you going to have kids?
~When I run out of better things to do.
~When are you going to stop being so nosy?
~Oh I'm too busy practicing. Maybe when I prefect my technique.
~When are you going to lose weight?
~When they come potty trained.
~When minivans are sexy, childcare is free and they come with on/off switches.
Why don't you have kids?
~I haven't run out of better things to do yet.
~Why aren't you in law school? Oh, you don't want to be a lawyer? Well, I don't want to be a parent.
~Because I'm still perfecting my technique.
~Why don't you have manners?
It's different when they're your own!
~Yea, you can't give them back!
~Yeah, its WORSE!
My/Your child could grow up to cure cancer!
~It's more likely it would end up in jail!
~Why don't you cure cancer instead of living vicariously through your own kid?
~I'll bet Manson/Saddam/Bin Laden's parents said the same thing.
You were a kid once, too!
~So what's your point? (Keep repeating this no matter what excuse they make until they realize they have no point)
~And I grew out of that stage, too.
~So was Hitler!
~Yeah, and I didn't like kids then, either!
~So were you, but that's not reason for your to continue acting like one.
~Next, you're going to tell me the Yankees play in The Bronx...
Don't you want to hear the pitter patter of little feet?
~No.
~I do hear the pitter patter of little feet - dog/cat feet!
~No. I prefer moaning, screaming and furniture breaking.
Who will take care of you when you are old?
~My pension plan that I've been investing in since I was 21.
~The same people who will take care of you -- nursing home attendants.
~Who says I plan to be old?
~My 20-something lover.
Why'd you get married if you didn't want kids?
~For the same reason people get divorced -- because they can!
~Because I love my spouse and see them as more than a reproductive organ.
The only reason to get married is to have children!
~You do realize that 50% of marriages end in divorce, right? Perhaps kids are the reason people get divorced, too.
Some day you'll grow up and change your mind.
~No, I'm perfectly happy with the one I have now.
~Yea, that'll happen about the same time you grow up and change your mind, too!
~Sorry, I don't plan on growing up!
~And someday you'll get your head out of your ass. Good luck with that.
It's all worth it!
~Good! Then I'll never have to listen to you complain about your kids or parenting responsibilities again!
~What is this, a L'Oreal commercial?
You sound like a sad and bitter person!
~Hey, you're the one criticizing other people's life choices!
~I'll take sad and bitter if it means sleeping in on the weekends and having some peace and quiet at home! Sign me up!
~So what's your point?
~If you were so happy with your choices, you wouldn't be trying to make me feel bad by telling me I'm sad and bitter.
~If I am, at least I'm not passing my anger and bitterness on to the next generation like you are!
~That's "INTELLIGENT, sad and bitter." Get it right.
If everyone thought the way you did, the population would die out!
~Do you have any idea how many people there are on the planet right now?
~You do realize that after you die, it doesn't really matter, so if there are no people left, it really doesn't affect you, right?
~How is this a bad thing?
~And?
If your mom felt like you do, you wouldn't be here!
~No, but then you'd be arguing with her instead.
~Right now I'm kinda wishing YOUR mom had felt like I do.
~And I wouldn't have known the difference.
It's the most important job in the world!
~Then why aren't you out doing it?
~What about the guy who makes your disposable diapers and gigantic strollers -- you couldn't survive a day without him!
~Oh, yeah...the "Leader of the Free World" has nothing on YOU.
My kids are the best thing that ever happened to me.
~Wow, that's a sad commentary on your life.
~Gee, it's too bad you wasted all those years of your life being a child yourself since those years were just a waste of time until you got to your REAL purpose in life.
~I am greatly insulted by this. Have we achieved nothing in the last 90 years? Women can achieve just as much and more in almost all the venues men can. 1920 called and it wants you to come back to the dark ages.
You're not giving yourself much credit.
~Newsflash: Your kids are PEOPLE, not things.
You're being selfish!
~Oh, because creating a human being to amuse yourself ISN'T selfish.
~Jealous?
~How is not creating a child who won't be neglected selfish?
~I don't know, you're the one neglecting your kids while you waste time arguing with me. Some might argue that any time away from your kids is "selfish".
~And?
Children are the future!!
~Well, since most people seem to agree the future's fucked, why put them through the agony?
~That's a scary thought, since most of them are idiots who can't learn spelling or grammar.
~Thank you, Whitney Houston!
Nothing is better than 'new baby' smell!
~You mean the smell of vomit, urine, and feces?!
~You really need to get out more.
~Really? Let's see...umm...oh yeah...great, spontaneous sex that lasts for hours! (see "pitter-patter" answer for elaboration).
~I quite like "new car" smell myself. I suppose I could throw some diarreah and powder all over the seats. NAH.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
I knew I heard something rustling through the papers on my desk...
You little BASTARD! Look who I caught trying to get at my water!
He almost got away, but I managed to catch 'im in time. Before he scuttled off to the tree hole he came out of...
Hahahaha! Okay, this is it. Really. It's all I have time for. Boss is gone and I'm having too much fun. I need to concentrate on other things now. Well, when I finish this entry that is. I'm hoping to get Photoshop from at least one of the two people who have promised it to me. It'll happen soon enough, then I can create Peabird havoc at home. I've actually got some more in the works right now, but those'll have to wait. I should work. Really I should. RIIIIIIIIiiiiiiiiiiiight after I finish this entry...
So. What else is new, besides Peabirds on my desk? Nothing. Yet. Oh wait! The lighting system on my fishy tank is new. Now I can keep any coral I want. The sun now resides in my livingroom above the tank. The new lighting system was one of the last items I needed to get. It was supposed to be the last, but now that the light is so bright, I can see every. single. one. Of the little hairline scratches on the sides. I detest looking through all of those cross hatches so guess what? I'm gonna get a new TANK! Yes, I have found yet another thing to buy for the saltwater aquarium. The actual aquarium! Because the old one looks like shit. After spending all this money on equipment and fish and corals, I'd like to actually SEE them. I know, I know. If it's not one thing it's another. And I really regret not just getting a new tank in the first place. This hand-me-down piece of shit looks awful.
I was gonna wait, really I was. What prompted me to do it as soon as possible is the fact that I seem to have a little preditor crab in the tank. Not all of the little "extras" I got with the live rocks were good guys. Heavens no. There's always gotta be a pest in there. I've already killed a couple of anemones that grew huge and decided to migrate all over the tank. I didn't want those little fuckers stinging my fish. This crab doesn't just sting... He likes to stalk, kill and EAT. He's a little hairy, black guy with red eyes. I'd only see him during feeding time, but haven't seen him in weeks since my goby disappeared. So he's been eating and growing during the day. His last "hunt" must have been my rather large anthias. ARG. Of course the rocks provide ample hiding places with all their nooks and crannies. This makes it very difficult, if not impossible to catch him. SOoOoo...why not take everything out and replace the tank like I was gonna? YEA! That's it!
Isn't that fabulous? I'm looking forward to spending half (or probably all) of a Saturday moving my tank inhabitants to a new home that is free of scratches. That's about all I'm looking forward to. I'm kind of depressed this week. Oh well. Like I always say, I'll get over it.
Later.
He almost got away, but I managed to catch 'im in time. Before he scuttled off to the tree hole he came out of...
Hahahaha! Okay, this is it. Really. It's all I have time for. Boss is gone and I'm having too much fun. I need to concentrate on other things now. Well, when I finish this entry that is. I'm hoping to get Photoshop from at least one of the two people who have promised it to me. It'll happen soon enough, then I can create Peabird havoc at home. I've actually got some more in the works right now, but those'll have to wait. I should work. Really I should. RIIIIIIIIiiiiiiiiiiiight after I finish this entry...
So. What else is new, besides Peabirds on my desk? Nothing. Yet. Oh wait! The lighting system on my fishy tank is new. Now I can keep any coral I want. The sun now resides in my livingroom above the tank. The new lighting system was one of the last items I needed to get. It was supposed to be the last, but now that the light is so bright, I can see every. single. one. Of the little hairline scratches on the sides. I detest looking through all of those cross hatches so guess what? I'm gonna get a new TANK! Yes, I have found yet another thing to buy for the saltwater aquarium. The actual aquarium! Because the old one looks like shit. After spending all this money on equipment and fish and corals, I'd like to actually SEE them. I know, I know. If it's not one thing it's another. And I really regret not just getting a new tank in the first place. This hand-me-down piece of shit looks awful.
I was gonna wait, really I was. What prompted me to do it as soon as possible is the fact that I seem to have a little preditor crab in the tank. Not all of the little "extras" I got with the live rocks were good guys. Heavens no. There's always gotta be a pest in there. I've already killed a couple of anemones that grew huge and decided to migrate all over the tank. I didn't want those little fuckers stinging my fish. This crab doesn't just sting... He likes to stalk, kill and EAT. He's a little hairy, black guy with red eyes. I'd only see him during feeding time, but haven't seen him in weeks since my goby disappeared. So he's been eating and growing during the day. His last "hunt" must have been my rather large anthias. ARG. Of course the rocks provide ample hiding places with all their nooks and crannies. This makes it very difficult, if not impossible to catch him. SOoOoo...why not take everything out and replace the tank like I was gonna? YEA! That's it!
Isn't that fabulous? I'm looking forward to spending half (or probably all) of a Saturday moving my tank inhabitants to a new home that is free of scratches. That's about all I'm looking forward to. I'm kind of depressed this week. Oh well. Like I always say, I'll get over it.
Later.
Monday, September 22, 2008
Let's go surfing!
In answer to your question, Witty, Mr. Tady the Peabird also enjoys surfing at other beaches as well. Observe:
Yes, this is getting addicting. I'm going to try to make these regularly so I can put something together. It's a whole lotta fun, it is. Did I already mention that? Yea. But it is!
In other news, my weekend SUCKED. I got into a beautiful fight with Ron on Saturday morning. It was so fantastic that I had to take off while still in my pajamas. I was like, "I can't take this anymore, I gotta go..." Yes. In my pj's, no bra, messy hair, old glasses and flip flops. I looked fetching, I must say. It was 10 a.m. and I was tooling around the house, cleaning as usual. I was a little hung over (thank you Erica, what a nice time I had with you) and headachy so it didn't take much to set me off. Ron apparently woke up in a foul mood as well. Thankfully I have wonderful friends like Melanie. I went straight to her house, the one that's right around the block from where I grew up. She happens to have a back house that they used to rent out but no longer do. So we were able to sit and talk things out in back. I didn't have to blubber in front of her boyfriend. She is such a great friend. Calmed me, listened and made some good suggestions. It helps that she's going through a tough time with her boyfriend as well. I'm so glad we're there for each other.
Anyway, the fight wasn't about babies. It was about other things that have been bugging us about each other. Things that just escalated. Ron was relentless, which made me yell all the more... Ugh. It was nasty. I spent the day zoning out in Melanie's back house. She even left for a while, as she had to go to a birthday party. I stayed and napped 'cause I was feeling like total shit. Ron called while I was there and we even got into it again on the phone...until I hung up on him, that is. I was trying to be nice, I was trying to be calm... It just wasn't working. So I stayed 'til Melanie got home and we ordered pizza. Then I got the "I'm so sorry, it's all my fault" text and I was able to go home.
Even though we made up and had a decent day yesterday, I still feel terrible. And I'm still kinda mad at Ron. Just a little. It's like yea, say you're sorry but please don't do this again. How do I know it's not gonna happen again? Why don't you show me? I guess I have to just take the steps and get us into a counselor soon. I'm already looking into a referral, I'm not sure if I mentioned that before. But things can't go on like this. We have to work some things out or it's never going to work. Yes, things that I saw before we married are getting worse. JUST like they said they would! Isn't that GREAT?! Okay, I'll cut the sarcasm.
The one good thing about the weekend is Ron got us some great Mike Patton videos. I still adore Mike Patton, a little more than I should... I just can't help it. He's so weird and adorable. Here he is with yet another delusional looking fan:
That face he's making is precisely why I don't want to run up to him with my camera and take a picture right away...if I ever meet him. He looks like he just HATES it, doesn't he? I'd rather have a picture of us having fun together (NO, not THAT kind of fun) at sushi or something. It'd be so much fun if Ron, cousin Mark, me and Mike could hang out sometime. Yea. I'll just keep fantasizing. Time to leave the office and go home. Eh...maybe I'll stop by the fish store really quick. That's always fun.
Yes, this is getting addicting. I'm going to try to make these regularly so I can put something together. It's a whole lotta fun, it is. Did I already mention that? Yea. But it is!
In other news, my weekend SUCKED. I got into a beautiful fight with Ron on Saturday morning. It was so fantastic that I had to take off while still in my pajamas. I was like, "I can't take this anymore, I gotta go..." Yes. In my pj's, no bra, messy hair, old glasses and flip flops. I looked fetching, I must say. It was 10 a.m. and I was tooling around the house, cleaning as usual. I was a little hung over (thank you Erica, what a nice time I had with you) and headachy so it didn't take much to set me off. Ron apparently woke up in a foul mood as well. Thankfully I have wonderful friends like Melanie. I went straight to her house, the one that's right around the block from where I grew up. She happens to have a back house that they used to rent out but no longer do. So we were able to sit and talk things out in back. I didn't have to blubber in front of her boyfriend. She is such a great friend. Calmed me, listened and made some good suggestions. It helps that she's going through a tough time with her boyfriend as well. I'm so glad we're there for each other.
Anyway, the fight wasn't about babies. It was about other things that have been bugging us about each other. Things that just escalated. Ron was relentless, which made me yell all the more... Ugh. It was nasty. I spent the day zoning out in Melanie's back house. She even left for a while, as she had to go to a birthday party. I stayed and napped 'cause I was feeling like total shit. Ron called while I was there and we even got into it again on the phone...until I hung up on him, that is. I was trying to be nice, I was trying to be calm... It just wasn't working. So I stayed 'til Melanie got home and we ordered pizza. Then I got the "I'm so sorry, it's all my fault" text and I was able to go home.
Even though we made up and had a decent day yesterday, I still feel terrible. And I'm still kinda mad at Ron. Just a little. It's like yea, say you're sorry but please don't do this again. How do I know it's not gonna happen again? Why don't you show me? I guess I have to just take the steps and get us into a counselor soon. I'm already looking into a referral, I'm not sure if I mentioned that before. But things can't go on like this. We have to work some things out or it's never going to work. Yes, things that I saw before we married are getting worse. JUST like they said they would! Isn't that GREAT?! Okay, I'll cut the sarcasm.
The one good thing about the weekend is Ron got us some great Mike Patton videos. I still adore Mike Patton, a little more than I should... I just can't help it. He's so weird and adorable. Here he is with yet another delusional looking fan:
That face he's making is precisely why I don't want to run up to him with my camera and take a picture right away...if I ever meet him. He looks like he just HATES it, doesn't he? I'd rather have a picture of us having fun together (NO, not THAT kind of fun) at sushi or something. It'd be so much fun if Ron, cousin Mark, me and Mike could hang out sometime. Yea. I'll just keep fantasizing. Time to leave the office and go home. Eh...maybe I'll stop by the fish store really quick. That's always fun.
Friday, September 19, 2008
Stupid, accusatory bitches from Pennsylvania
So... I had the ULTIMATE pleasure of getting into yet another fender bender this morning. Good Christ, now my car officially looks like it's been driven down to almost the smallest end of a drainage pipe. Seriously...I have damage all the way around the car. All damage I did to myself, mind you. This newest adventure in dents is going to send me right to the body shop. And that little accusatory BITCH is going to pay for it. FUCK ME. I can't fucking believe I was so NICE to her! Anyway, here's the wonderfully thorough claim I just wrote to my insurance company:
Dear Claims Dept.,
I would like to report an accident that happened this morning, 9/19/08 at approximately 8:15 a.m. in Burbank, Ca. It involved myself and one other vehicle. There were only two drivers and no passengers.. I was travelling West on Riverside Dr., as was the other party. We had been waiting at a red light and the accident happend as we travelled through the intersection of Olive Ave. and Riverside Dr., here:
View Larger Map
I was driving straight, in the middle lane, with my hands at 10 and 2. I remember being startled by the unexpected BUMP. I'm pretty sure now, after studying the street map, that she pulled into me. I believe she was in the left turn lane and didn't realize it. Please also see this view:
View Larger Map
I pulled over to the far right corner, just past the intersection and noticed that she kept going. So I followed her to the Cheveron gas station just up Riverside. She was on the phone with the police when I tapped her shoulder and asked what happened. Right away she said that I'd pulled into her. I was in a daze and nervous...trying to remember, but I couldn't place it. I didn't want to argue so we exchanged info and waited for the police. I noticed she was talking to some guy, who may or may not have been a witness. I'm sorry I didn't ask who he was, but he was asking her things and seemed to be helping her out for some reason. He did not speak to the police man who arrived to take the report. I feel like an idiot for not asking now... I also feel like an idiot for saying the words, "I'm sorry..." after she blantantly accused me of running into her. I realize now, after studying the map and replaying the scene in my mind, that it must have been her who hit me. I know I was headed straight and in the middle lane next to the left turn lane because I have travelled this route to work several times over the past five years. She, on the other hand, is from Pennsylvania and is on unfamiliar territory.
Please see the attached photos of my car damage. You'll notice in picture #1 that the scratch extends all the way down the driver's side door, starting from where I pointed out her car's bumper. The only damage her car sustained was to the front passenger side of the bumper. Now that I have studied the map and thought about what happened, it seems very clear that she pulled into my car from the left turn lane. I was not turning left on Olive, so why would I deliberately pull into her car? The more I think about it, the angrier I get, because I practically admitted fault by saying I'm sorry. But I sincerely believe that it was not my fault. The following is the information I gathered from the other driver:
Stupid Bitch
1234 Somewhere out there
Pennsylvania
Cell phone#: 800-I'm-a-fuck-head
Lic #123 456 78
DOB: 12/10/75
The cop on the scene was from the Burbank Police Dept., his last name Toth and his badge #9542. The date and time he recorded for the incident is 9/19/08/08:20 hours.
The other driver did not have her insurance with her, but said she had insurance with some company in Erie, PA and had given the information to the rental car company. She was driving a Hyundai Accent, rented from the local Hertz, most likely the one at the Burbank airport.
Please confirm receipt of this email right away, either by return email or by calling me on my cell phone at 800-I'm-gonna-kill-some-bitch. I would like to resolve this issue and get my car fixed.
Thanks very much for your help!
Signed, one pissed off Julie
_________________________________________________________________
Ya think I have a chance in hell? I feel like such an idiot. I was in shock and didn't even argue when she accused me. But after reviewing the intersection on Google maps (which is pretty fucking AWESOME for this kind of shit, btw) I remembered what happened. I was going straight and I'm sticking to my story. The dumbass didn't know where she was going because she's NOT FROM HERE, LIKE 3/4 OF THE FUCKING STATE OF CALIFORNIA. The fuck is here on vacation. And to think I was so nice to her, saying I'm sorry and wishing her a nice rest of the vacation. She just looked at me like I was nuts the whole time. HOW could I BE so STUPID?! Well, I'ma fight this, that's for sure. Now that I realize what happpened. And I don't know WHO that ugly guy was hanging around the scene, he was only talking to her and didn't say anything to the cop.
Dear Claims Dept.,
I would like to report an accident that happened this morning, 9/19/08 at approximately 8:15 a.m. in Burbank, Ca. It involved myself and one other vehicle. There were only two drivers and no passengers.. I was travelling West on Riverside Dr., as was the other party. We had been waiting at a red light and the accident happend as we travelled through the intersection of Olive Ave. and Riverside Dr., here:
View Larger Map
I was driving straight, in the middle lane, with my hands at 10 and 2. I remember being startled by the unexpected BUMP. I'm pretty sure now, after studying the street map, that she pulled into me. I believe she was in the left turn lane and didn't realize it. Please also see this view:
View Larger Map
I pulled over to the far right corner, just past the intersection and noticed that she kept going. So I followed her to the Cheveron gas station just up Riverside. She was on the phone with the police when I tapped her shoulder and asked what happened. Right away she said that I'd pulled into her. I was in a daze and nervous...trying to remember, but I couldn't place it. I didn't want to argue so we exchanged info and waited for the police. I noticed she was talking to some guy, who may or may not have been a witness. I'm sorry I didn't ask who he was, but he was asking her things and seemed to be helping her out for some reason. He did not speak to the police man who arrived to take the report. I feel like an idiot for not asking now... I also feel like an idiot for saying the words, "I'm sorry..." after she blantantly accused me of running into her. I realize now, after studying the map and replaying the scene in my mind, that it must have been her who hit me. I know I was headed straight and in the middle lane next to the left turn lane because I have travelled this route to work several times over the past five years. She, on the other hand, is from Pennsylvania and is on unfamiliar territory.
Please see the attached photos of my car damage. You'll notice in picture #1 that the scratch extends all the way down the driver's side door, starting from where I pointed out her car's bumper. The only damage her car sustained was to the front passenger side of the bumper. Now that I have studied the map and thought about what happened, it seems very clear that she pulled into my car from the left turn lane. I was not turning left on Olive, so why would I deliberately pull into her car? The more I think about it, the angrier I get, because I practically admitted fault by saying I'm sorry. But I sincerely believe that it was not my fault. The following is the information I gathered from the other driver:
Stupid Bitch
1234 Somewhere out there
Pennsylvania
Cell phone#: 800-I'm-a-fuck-head
Lic #123 456 78
DOB: 12/10/75
The cop on the scene was from the Burbank Police Dept., his last name Toth and his badge #9542. The date and time he recorded for the incident is 9/19/08/08:20 hours.
The other driver did not have her insurance with her, but said she had insurance with some company in Erie, PA and had given the information to the rental car company. She was driving a Hyundai Accent, rented from the local Hertz, most likely the one at the Burbank airport.
Please confirm receipt of this email right away, either by return email or by calling me on my cell phone at 800-I'm-gonna-kill-some-bitch. I would like to resolve this issue and get my car fixed.
Thanks very much for your help!
Signed, one pissed off Julie
_________________________________________________________________
Ya think I have a chance in hell? I feel like such an idiot. I was in shock and didn't even argue when she accused me. But after reviewing the intersection on Google maps (which is pretty fucking AWESOME for this kind of shit, btw) I remembered what happened. I was going straight and I'm sticking to my story. The dumbass didn't know where she was going because she's NOT FROM HERE, LIKE 3/4 OF THE FUCKING STATE OF CALIFORNIA. The fuck is here on vacation. And to think I was so nice to her, saying I'm sorry and wishing her a nice rest of the vacation. She just looked at me like I was nuts the whole time. HOW could I BE so STUPID?! Well, I'ma fight this, that's for sure. Now that I realize what happpened. And I don't know WHO that ugly guy was hanging around the scene, he was only talking to her and didn't say anything to the cop.
Thursday, September 18, 2008
How about some Peabirds?
Okay, so I've been working on these for a while and I've finally finished a few. It's a lot of fun bringing these silly little characters to life. Especially since I've been drawing them since I could pick up a pencil.
Let's start with a Peabird, well, the main guy Tady, and his "mom'...
Peabirds are supposed to be about this size when they're in our world. However, this is sometimes not the case, as seen in this picture...
They are able to grow some in order to blend in more. Yea. That's it. Imagination is key, folks!
Then we have Tady swimming in waters that I long to explore...
Ahhh...so refreshing...
How 'bout we go pick some flowers? Or the ONLY flower that happens to be growing here...
Teehee!
It's TAY-DEEEE!!! YAAAYY!!!
And there you have it. Peabirds hanging out in different places. Isn't that lovely? And creative? Oh yes. I love creating. Now it's time to go create a poop. Bye bye!
Let's start with a Peabird, well, the main guy Tady, and his "mom'...
Peabirds are supposed to be about this size when they're in our world. However, this is sometimes not the case, as seen in this picture...
They are able to grow some in order to blend in more. Yea. That's it. Imagination is key, folks!
Then we have Tady swimming in waters that I long to explore...
Ahhh...so refreshing...
How 'bout we go pick some flowers? Or the ONLY flower that happens to be growing here...
Teehee!
It's TAY-DEEEE!!! YAAAYY!!!
And there you have it. Peabirds hanging out in different places. Isn't that lovely? And creative? Oh yes. I love creating. Now it's time to go create a poop. Bye bye!
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
The Stork
Ah yes...The Stork. Not so special anymore, huh.
And thank you, M. I think you put it rather nicely. Your reasoning is the same as mine. I will take them from your wonderful comment and put them here. Thank you so much for your support. And you too, A.
*Ahem*
Reasons I don't want kids, volume I:
1. I don't want the responsbility of caring for another human being for the next eighteen years (and more, since kids are leaving the nest later and later and do tend to come back).
2. I don't want the expense they bring. I don't want the stress. I don't want the germs. I don't want to pass on my particular cocktail of genetic crap.
3. I don't want to bring another human into an overpopulated world and strain our resources further.
4. I don't want to doom a child to living in a world that scares the crap of ME, an adult.
5. I don't want to deal with the noise, the activity level, the clinginess, or the mess of a child.
Hell, I have birds. I already deal with a noise level, clinginess (Pickles has his moments) and mess. I take it from them because I enjoy them...just like other women enjoy children. I mean, I enjoy children, too. I feel like I keep having to say that over and over. I think some toddlers are adorable. It's just that I'm much more googoo over baby animals. I LOVE animals and their innocense. I detest humans and their arrogance. This is how I am. This is my belief system and there is nothing wrong with it. I AM THE CRAZY BIRD/ANIMAL LADY. That is FINE with me.
It might mean that I end up alone, but I am prepared to fight for what I want. It's gonna be very tough. Just when I think Ron is starting to understand, he says he wants to be a father. This actually came up again at the local H@@ters over the weekend. I'm trying to avoid the subject and not bombard him. I don't want to get into arguments constantly, so I've left it alone for a while. But it came up, I listened and didn't push...he said he wanted to be a father. I was gonna ask why but he closed the subject because he didn't want to argue in a restaurant...again. This is why I need a compitent therapist to guide me through this. I don't know how to approach it. We need to hash this out once and for all so we can move on...either together or apart.
I can honestly say that I've never felt more confident about a decision in my entire life. Honestly. People, I KNOW I'd be a great mom. I KNOW I'm smart and could offer a child a lot. Who says it has to be MY child? How selfish is that?! Sorry to disappoint, but this is MY life. SO THERE. *sticks out tongue like 3 year old*
Sorry, end of this discussion for now. FOR NOW.
And thank you, M. I think you put it rather nicely. Your reasoning is the same as mine. I will take them from your wonderful comment and put them here. Thank you so much for your support. And you too, A.
*Ahem*
Reasons I don't want kids, volume I:
1. I don't want the responsbility of caring for another human being for the next eighteen years (and more, since kids are leaving the nest later and later and do tend to come back).
2. I don't want the expense they bring. I don't want the stress. I don't want the germs. I don't want to pass on my particular cocktail of genetic crap.
3. I don't want to bring another human into an overpopulated world and strain our resources further.
4. I don't want to doom a child to living in a world that scares the crap of ME, an adult.
5. I don't want to deal with the noise, the activity level, the clinginess, or the mess of a child.
Hell, I have birds. I already deal with a noise level, clinginess (Pickles has his moments) and mess. I take it from them because I enjoy them...just like other women enjoy children. I mean, I enjoy children, too. I feel like I keep having to say that over and over. I think some toddlers are adorable. It's just that I'm much more googoo over baby animals. I LOVE animals and their innocense. I detest humans and their arrogance. This is how I am. This is my belief system and there is nothing wrong with it. I AM THE CRAZY BIRD/ANIMAL LADY. That is FINE with me.
It might mean that I end up alone, but I am prepared to fight for what I want. It's gonna be very tough. Just when I think Ron is starting to understand, he says he wants to be a father. This actually came up again at the local H@@ters over the weekend. I'm trying to avoid the subject and not bombard him. I don't want to get into arguments constantly, so I've left it alone for a while. But it came up, I listened and didn't push...he said he wanted to be a father. I was gonna ask why but he closed the subject because he didn't want to argue in a restaurant...again. This is why I need a compitent therapist to guide me through this. I don't know how to approach it. We need to hash this out once and for all so we can move on...either together or apart.
I can honestly say that I've never felt more confident about a decision in my entire life. Honestly. People, I KNOW I'd be a great mom. I KNOW I'm smart and could offer a child a lot. Who says it has to be MY child? How selfish is that?! Sorry to disappoint, but this is MY life. SO THERE. *sticks out tongue like 3 year old*
Sorry, end of this discussion for now. FOR NOW.
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Have you ever...
...been so into someone that you want to climb into their skin and wear them like a leotard with nipples? Hehehehe... I'm watching Two and a Half Men. I love this show. It's another repeat, but I can watch them over and over. I feel the same way about Seinfeld. The writing is just spectacular. I love the crazy girl, Rose. She reminds me a little of myself, of course.
Ah yes, the crazy girl. Speaking of crazy, I had a consultation with the psychiatry nurse last Friday. She's gonna send me a therapist referral soon, so that I can start getting this baby shit outta the way. Yes, baby shit. I need to get to the bottom of why I don't want any kids. I feel so alone in this decision. It's amazing how the world is so geared toward breeding. I've never noticed it before. Well, it doesn't help that the subject is sitting on my brain like diarreah...oozing and settling into the cracks. Mmmm...what an image that conjures up, huh?
Ya know, I love being nasty. And graphic. And gross. And plain old juvenile. It's fun. I dont't wanna stop. It's true, I don't wanna grow up. That might be part of it... Another part of it is the fact that I'm a nervous wreck. I don't want to pass that on. I don't want to deal with all the pain and misery. I know there are good parts but there's still a lotta pain and misery. I remember it. I was a child once. I don't wanna deal with all that shit. Is that so wrong? Does that sound like a big pile of excuses? No...it doesn't. I feel the way I do for a reason. There is ALWAYS a reason. I'm just a little foggy on it .
So the therapist....er...the nurse. She was okay. Typical family lady. I brought up my main issue and was met with the usual, "It's good you think about this now..." and "You'll want to be sure to have all issues out of the way before you have children." I dunno...I feel like everyone in my life thinks I'd change my mind of the circumstances were different. My mom agrees with my reasons and seems to understand, but will "still say you'd change your mind if your husband were more mature and responsible and you were able to be a stay at home mom at for the first few years..." Yea. Here we go again with the "What if's" huh.
*sigh*
We'll see who I'm referred to. And then we'll see if we can get Ron in there, too. We have to settle our differences on this. It's only healthy. I just wish I had the courage to get on with it. I guess I am. One step at a time...
Monday, September 15, 2008
What time is it?
It's NIGHT time! Man, I NEVER post from home anymore... I finally got the wireless modem up and running so I can use my lil' 'ol mac at home. I was going to use this thing at work but I'm not into working on two different computers at once. I can't stretch my little tiny attention span that far. So for now it's mac at home. I also didn't like lugging this thing around. Huh. "Lugging" is hardly the word to use for this kewt lil' mac book... I don't like taking it to work because often times I exercise after work and leave my car parked on the street that I choose to jog on, or at the Y, where I'ma swimmin'. I'm not too keen on leaving this, a big investment, anywhere in my car without some sort of electrocution device attached to it. I've already had an ipod stolen. HELL if I'm gonna have this little peach taken from me! HELL HATH NO FURY, THAN A WOMAN...whose precious mac book has been stolen.
So, it's Monday night and I'm sitting at the kitchen table, typing away. The fish tank glows... I really should take a picture. I think I'll try it with this thing, come to think of it... I've got a camera built in. Let's see here...
OKAY! ARE YOU READAYYY??!!! It's the picture FEST!!!! Crazy, stupid pictures...some taken tonight, some from the past year. Straight from the photobooth to you. Enjoy the insanity...
We start with an experiment. Right sided me vs. Left sided me. Observe...
Right sided me.
Left sided me...making an oddly...uhm... Okay, shut off your dirty mind for this one, 'kay? It's meant to be clean. Really it is. I'm just playing around with that third tooth that popped in right there, that's what I'm doin'.
Hummm... Very weird to look at yourself mirrored. Look at my parallel mole and pimple constellations. Isn't it gorgeous? Damn those moles are huge. They're like little rabbit poohs on my face. I need to get those things burnt off, along with the big, black bug on my back.
SO. Enough about my moles.
Back to pictures...
Ron had to get into it, too...
So, it's Monday night and I'm sitting at the kitchen table, typing away. The fish tank glows... I really should take a picture. I think I'll try it with this thing, come to think of it... I've got a camera built in. Let's see here...
OKAY! ARE YOU READAYYY??!!! It's the picture FEST!!!! Crazy, stupid pictures...some taken tonight, some from the past year. Straight from the photobooth to you. Enjoy the insanity...
We start with an experiment. Right sided me vs. Left sided me. Observe...
Right sided me.
Left sided me...making an oddly...uhm... Okay, shut off your dirty mind for this one, 'kay? It's meant to be clean. Really it is. I'm just playing around with that third tooth that popped in right there, that's what I'm doin'.
Hummm... Very weird to look at yourself mirrored. Look at my parallel mole and pimple constellations. Isn't it gorgeous? Damn those moles are huge. They're like little rabbit poohs on my face. I need to get those things burnt off, along with the big, black bug on my back.
SO. Enough about my moles.
Back to pictures...
Ron had to get into it, too...
Just look at that eye... And those cute lil' lips!
Okay, say it with me now,
BAY-BEE RROOOOFFFF!
Hehehehehe!!!!
And some hideousness from my brother, Steve...
This turned out weird and terribly nasty...
WHAT on EARTH?! It's only my brother's chin and tongue. HAHAHAHAHA!!!! EWWW!!!!
And then it's back to Ron and I...
Now it's time for some kute lil' kitty photos from tonight!
Awww, STANLEEEYYYY!
Yes, he's licking my nose. Stanley always licks noses when you put them in his face.
And here is Stanley's 1 1/2 year old little clone...
Yes, believe it or not, that is a different cat. It's my darling Henry.
Now I shall leave you will nothing less than another picture of my WHUN-DER-FULLLLL Fish tank...
But of course.
This is Happy Face Rock. In't he cute?! And that torch coral above it looks like a little cupcake. Mmmm... Cupcakes. It's time for dessert. Goodnight!
Okay, say it with me now,
BAY-BEE RROOOOFFFF!
Hehehehehe!!!!
And some hideousness from my brother, Steve...
This turned out weird and terribly nasty...
WHAT on EARTH?! It's only my brother's chin and tongue. HAHAHAHAHA!!!! EWWW!!!!
And then it's back to Ron and I...
Now it's time for some kute lil' kitty photos from tonight!
Awww, STANLEEEYYYY!
Yes, he's licking my nose. Stanley always licks noses when you put them in his face.
And here is Stanley's 1 1/2 year old little clone...
Yes, believe it or not, that is a different cat. It's my darling Henry.
Now I shall leave you will nothing less than another picture of my WHUN-DER-FULLLLL Fish tank...
But of course.
This is Happy Face Rock. In't he cute?! And that torch coral above it looks like a little cupcake. Mmmm... Cupcakes. It's time for dessert. Goodnight!
Friday, September 12, 2008
Is your life ruled by that sonuvva bitch, Murphy?
The New Murphy's Laws:
· Law of Mechanical Repair – After your hands are covered with grease, your nose will itch and you’ll have to pee.
· Law of Gravity – Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
· Law of Probability – The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
· Law of Random Numbers – If you dial a wrong number, someone ALWAYS answers.
· Law of the Alibi – If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.
· Variation Law – If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you were in (also works at the bank and grocery every time).
· Law of the Bath – When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone or doorbell rings.
·Law of Close Encounters – The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with (doubles if attractive person of the opposite sex)
·Law of the Result – When you try to prove to someone that a machine won’t work, it will.
·Law of Biomechanics – The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
· Law of Theater – At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.
· The Starbuck’s Law3 – As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
· Murphy’s Law of Lockers – If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
·Law of Physical Surfaces – The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.
·Law of Logical Argument – Anything is possible if you don’t know what you are talking about.
· Brown’s Law of Physical Appearance – If the clothes fit off the rack, they are probably ugly.
· Oliver’s Law of Public Speaking – A closed mouth gathers no feet.
· Law of Mechanical Repair – After your hands are covered with grease, your nose will itch and you’ll have to pee.
· Law of Gravity – Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
· Law of Probability – The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
· Law of Random Numbers – If you dial a wrong number, someone ALWAYS answers.
· Law of the Alibi – If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.
· Variation Law – If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you were in (also works at the bank and grocery every time).
· Law of the Bath – When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone or doorbell rings.
·Law of Close Encounters – The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with (doubles if attractive person of the opposite sex)
·Law of the Result – When you try to prove to someone that a machine won’t work, it will.
·Law of Biomechanics – The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
· Law of Theater – At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.
· The Starbuck’s Law3 – As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
· Murphy’s Law of Lockers – If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
·Law of Physical Surfaces – The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.
·Law of Logical Argument – Anything is possible if you don’t know what you are talking about.
· Brown’s Law of Physical Appearance – If the clothes fit off the rack, they are probably ugly.
· Oliver’s Law of Public Speaking – A closed mouth gathers no feet.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
I have such a big mouth...
I know, it's been done so many times...but it's SO FUNNY when you do it to yourself. I was CRYING over here... I took a few shots for a photo I need to attach and mail to a form in order to get my official scuba certification. I didn't like how my mouth turned out in one shot, so I screwed around with it some, only to go back to the original shot. I tend to doctor things a bit much in Photoshop, making them look unreal. My finished photo, after screwing with it too much, made me look downright scary. I looked sickly plastic...ew! So I just went with the natural shot after all.
Anyway... I have work to do. Later...
Tuesday, September 09, 2008
One flew over the rainbow bridge...
Here's a picture I made for a friend who lost her beloved dog... She sent me a picture of the dog, as well as a picture of her current cat. I thought...why not put them together in "heaven"?
Hahaha! More phun with photoshop. She loved it, too.
Hahaha! More phun with photoshop. She loved it, too.
Monday, September 08, 2008
Jam on my Bun
There it is...my breakfast this morning. Isn't that pretty? I mixed the raspberry and apricot jams. Oooh that tastes good!
Things have been fine. Not much I feel like writing about, can you tell? Have I mentioned lately that I hate Mondays? How original, I know but... Today especially sucks because I drank too much over the weekend. I've been so good, too. The beer was just too appetizing and I kept going for more. Now I'm terribly down and depressed. Poopies... Oh well, I'll get over it like I always do.
I've had some interesting dreams lately... Ones where I'm maintaining fish tanks that I actually remember maintaining in other dreams. Like the ten gallon I set up in my brothers room in one dream, the 50 gallon in my old room in another dream... I go back and visit them, take out the dead fish, feed them...it's rediculous. I have this one tank in these dreams, I think it's like 300 gallons or something, but it's got an entire room behind it that's dedicated to filtration. And the filter is such that it doesn't need any cleaning, only little red or yellow balls added to the system, depending on the water quality at that time. Weird...
Then there's the recurring dream I've been having for the past few months, the one where all the shit that's going down in the middle east actually moves over here...like they come on over and nuclear bomb California to get a point across. At one point I'm running home to see if our apartment is still there, the sky is purple and red, I can't find anyone I know... It's terrible and I've had it 4 times in the past 2 months. What is UP with that shit?
And the best disturbing and recurring dream is the one where Ron leaves me for a woman with toddlers...or one who is pregnant, or one who WANTS to get pregnant. Last night's was horribly depressing. I was crying and carrying on, begging him to stay and be child free with me...then I see him walking off into the sunset with a woman and her snot nosed toddler. Ugh...
I guess I've been having that last one a lot lately because of my feelings toward having a family. Feelings that are not new, but rather more grounded in my mind. Things on that front are okay though. Ron realizes how I feel about the subject and that's good. I've made an impression. Now it's just going to be sticking to my convictions and not feeling guilty about it. You know how it is, too... Say you decide to go on a diet and cut out ALL the sweets. Suddenly, all you see are people eating ice cream, brownies, candy... It's the same thing with me and kids lately. ALL I see are fucking families with toddlers and babies. I do not feel envious, just really left out. Like, why can't there be MORE people like me? Why does EVERYONE have to go that route? I feel guilty, like I'm supposed to want to do all this crap for my husbnad, I'm not supposed to even think about it. I'm s'posed to be the good, unselfish, family minded woman who just squirts out kids and hopes for the best.
NO.
NOT ME. I refuse...I want to keep my freedom! Is that so wrong? I'm just scared. I guess I can save it for my psych appointment this Friday. Time to do a check on the 'ol meds and see if I can find a couselor for us.
And that's about it. Time to go for now. Bye bye...
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