Buggin' the PISS

Shit, I woke up PISSED this morning. Just PISSED OFF that I had to get up. I had told Ron to wake me when he got home last night, but he didn't get home until 11:00 in the pee-emm... He said he saw me sleeping soundly and didn't want to bother. Damn it! I miss him! And I am not a morning person. I've mentioned that at least a FEW times in here, humm? Yea. So this morning when I woke up and Ron was sleeping soundly next to me, I was selfishly PISSED (3) that I had to get up and he got to sleep in. ARRRGGHGHG!!! He gets to sleep in every morning! ARRRUGHGHG!!!! But he works hard at his job so he deserves it. Still, it PISSES (4) me off when I hafta get outta my nice, warm bed and he gets to sleep. This morning I guess my PISSEDness (5) showed because, according to Ron, I was slamming drawers and doors a lot. When I got out of the bathroom he was up, said he had to do some laundry. He even offered to do a little of mine. (Awww, now I feel guilty as hell...BAD me). So he goes off to do laundry because he couldn't sleep because I'm such a loud, banging, bitchy morning person. I managed to leave on time but was LATE to work AGAIN. I left at the same time yesterday and was a few minutes early. But no, not this morning. THIS morning there were five thousand trucks going 3 miles an hour and I think I hit every single fucking red light in existence. It's just been one of those mornings. More in my head than in reality. If I would just calm down and stop being in a bad mood, things would be fine. Things are fine. I'm just PISSED (6) for no good reason. Stupid, bitchy me.

Apparently I've flaked on my two friends Cathy too many times lately. I had forgotten about our planned get together last week and when Cathy J. called me on Tuesday night to remind me/find out what the hell was up with me, I told her that I was so sorry...I'd forgotten, blah blah, it was Ron and my anniversary (which it was) yadda hem haw yadda, I'm going to China in two weeks, planning, blah yadda. So she and Cathie H. got together without me. I got another email on Monday from the two of them asking about this Thursday. I basically said sure, so far so good, but something might come up, as a lot has been happening lately. When I sat down to check my emails this morning, there was one from Cathy J. telling me that she needs a final answer on whether or not we're going to get together with Cathie H. tomorrow. I've been soooo shitbrained and flakey with them lately and they just keep tryin'. It's nice of them to want to include me... I hate that I keep leading people on and hurting them more in the long run than if I just come out with the truth. All I have to do is TELL them that I'm freaking out and I don't really feel like going out to dinner or whatever 'cause I just can't afford it right now! Shit, I know how to answer them, but I don't want to disappoint them AGAIN. ARRRGGHGHGHG!!!! I can probably make it tomorrow night. Shit... I'll figger sometin' out. It's really no big deal.

So if the old neighbor calls today I'm supposed to get together with her tonight. We said we'd shoot for this week. Let's see if that happens. With her it'll just be a little outing for coffee and no driving, as she lives only about five blocks from me. My wallet can handle that. Let's see if SHE manages to bug the shit outta me. Buggin' the shit seems to be my motto today. I woke up with my shit totally bugged this morning. Ya know, I'm gonna go TAKE a shit. Maybe that'll help. I'll be back later, hopefully in a better mood.