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HAHA! No! But I DID pick up the "Chinaman's Squat" while I was there! When I got home I seriously hugged my toilet! I'm sure with all of your camping, you've had to take a squattin' shit... It's NOT easy man! Indoor plumbing is a wonderful thing. Especially a full sized toilet with a 'trap'...you know the curvy pipe in the back? That totally keeps the shit smell out...I never knew it worked so well.
The trip though, was wonderful from beginning to end. We got tons of pictures and even some videos! Melanie got these cool disposable digital video cameras. It was so much fun to 'document' our trip and all of the pics and videos turned out great! We lived among the people in our friend Devins hutong (a small grouping of small apartments with a little courtyard), walked up and down those dusty streets and used the public bathroom at the end of the street a lot. Ya couldn't shit in Devins toilet hole 'cause the plumbing couldn't take it. Most of the people didn't have indoor plumbing in their hutongs so there are public bathrooms everywhere. Some of the stories I have... Like the brawl our friends got into with the owners of a Peking duck restaurant. The customer isn't always right in China, nor are they immune to insults! Picture Melanie and I standing outside while Devin and his friend Harry (our wonderful, native host, I don't know what we would have done in terms of the language barrier if it weren't for him) are yelling back and forth at the owner and his wife! We had walked out (or tried to) because, instead of replacing our cold duck as Harry requested when we finally got the rest of the meal, the owner just took it away and insulted him! Devin was trying to get Harry to just give them the money and leave it alone, but he kept fighting. A hostess even came up and slapped him!! Then there was the full body message we got from Chinese prostitutes... Um, that one was my fault. We had been walking around and around looking for a good deal and this last place looked nice to me. I was tired of walking around looking and wanted to get the damn message already! I'm like, "SIGH, can't we just stay HERE??" I didn't find out until afterwards that they were actually prostitutes! Then of course there was the whole partying (with hash and beer) on the Great Wall experience. We hiked that mother fucker, slept in a tower, watched the sunrise and then hiked back. I'll send you some pics of the wall...yes, those curves go UP and DOOOooowwwnnn... and it's a million years old so the shit's falling apart. Crazy fucking hike! Oh yea, and to top it all off...their little girl doggie, Subway, was in heat the whole week!
Everyone was right, too... It seemd like forever until the trip. When it was finally time to go and all through the trip (which flew) everything was so surreal. Now I'm back and it's all over and I'm like..."What? It's over already?" Bleh. I'm still tired from the trip. It was 19 hours with a layover in Shanghai on the way there and 15 hours with a layover in Shanghai on the way back. Fuuuuck. I've never experienced a plane ride that horribly long before...
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So there. Some highlights. Woopie. It's time to go home now. I'm hungry.
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