It be Toosdee. Blee blah blo. I am so... I don't know. Not able to concentrate? What else is new? I hafta do statements. I'm putting it off.
We had a great weekend. First of all, what IS it with bands that like to fuck with their fans? Just because you're a success doesn't mean you can just stand up on stage and basically pick your ass with a guitar string. Friday night I went to a Melvins concert with my brother. I was expecting some great punk. I think they played five chords the whole show. Fuckers didn't even stay on for an hour and NO ENCORE. What the fuck is THAT shit?! Assholes. It wasn't one of their better shows and unfortunately it was the first show of theirs that I'd seen. But I made it fun. I pushed myself all the way up to the front. Got flail my arms on the stage. I loved being squished and knocked around by a bunch of idiots. I was laughing hysterically as I bounced from one sweaty dork to the next. Ahhh...the lovely Troub. What a great place for a show. I love the intimacy. The band is like RIGHT THERE. Too bad they sucked this time.
Saturday was a hot, lazy day. I discovered little bruises on my thighs from the night before. Cool...battle scars. We managed to run a few errands in the morning and then spent the rest of the day lazing around. Sunday was the annual family beer bust. We had so much fun, especially Ron. He loves my big family because he comes from such a small one. It was a day of eating, drinking, beer pong and poker. I also smoked a lovely cigar. My brother Eric is part of a cigar club and I tried one of his stogies a few years back...mmmmm... Now I like to join the men and have a ceee-garrr at the family gatherings. Heh, Ron came by while I was gripping it in my teeth, trying to light it... He's all, "Yep, that's my wyyyfff!" All the while he's turning green.
This weekend can't be so lax. No...we really have to start getting serious about packing. I have to start putting things aside to bring to Good Will and such. I'm finally going to depart from the old pans, dishes and kitchen utensils that I took from my grandparents house when I first moved out on my own. I also have old blankets, comforters and towels to ditch. It's going to be so great starting out fresh! I tell you, knowing we're going to be moving has improved my overall mood so much!
I guess it's time to get on with my boring day. Fuck. I don't WANNA do statements! And then it's laundry day. AGAIN! Yea, I've put it off for another week. This morning I had no clothes to choose from. I'm almost going to have an underwear emergency. Unless I go shopping like I did last time I put off laundry. Ugh...
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Friday, July 27, 2007
More phun with photoshop
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
An exercise in futility?
"Instead of writing in your blog, why don't you work on getting some digital art up?" I don't answer that it's SO MUCH easier to babble in a blog. No, instead I answer, "Yea, I should." Because I KNOW I should. But I don't. I imagine that I will be more into the art thing once we move. That's it. I'll do it when we moooooooooooove. That's the proper way to put things off, isn't it? Mmmm-hmmm, I know ALL about putting things off. It's my specialty. With that, welcome to another episode of, "I should be working, but my thoughts got in the way."
A shout out to the lovely Cathie for her continued support and to the newly confirmed lurker, Emily for coming out of the shadows. Hey girls! Thanks for saying hello. I will not whine any further. For now.
It's another entry of in between tasks. I started this about an hour ago. I should talk about something, huh. OH! The weekend! It was nice. Verr' verr' niiiiice. It was also gorgeful. That's my new word for stuffing yourself all weekend. Saturday was Ron's graduation ceremony that involved a scrumptious dinner of a big slab 'o beef, veggies and mashed potatoes with strawberry cheesecake for dessert. Luciousness. Then came Sunday with its glorious marinated, barbequed shrimp. Ron and I made FOUR POUNDS of shrimp and we, along with my brother and our friend Bam, eatithed it alluth. Peeling and de-pooping four pounds of shrimp is a big, smelly ordeal. Yea, the prep was a huge undertaking, but so worth it. And the marinade Ron put together! A coupla bottles of Italian dressing, some hot sauce, lemon juice...who knew it could be so amazing. When that man cooks, he COoOoOooks!
What else is new? One of my big fish died over the weekend. *sigh* A moment of silence for Eddie, the clown loach. Loaches are my favorite, dammit! Now poor Mike is left without a buddy to join him in aimlessly paddling up and down the walls of the tank. I will have to buy a replacement when we move. I am not taking on anything else in the weeks to come...I need to start concentrating on packing. Oh yea, moving...you hafta pack your shit before you can move it. At least I'm an expert at moving fish tanks now. I've got the 5 gallon bottles and the cooler all ready!
M'kay, this is becoming a bit TOO distracting now. I think I'll go put my full attention to the afternoons tasks. I must get these things done.
Friday, July 20, 2007
Another weekend
Hello. I'm settled with the fact that I have no regular readers of my boring life. That's not a problem, usually. Until I'm feeling lonely, that is. Then it becomes shitty. I'm so glad it's the weekend and I'll be able to spend some time with Ron. I always miss him so much by the time Friday rolls around. I've been feeling a little more isolated than usual lately. It's always the same...I don't want to go OUT and meet people, I just want them to come to me. Where are you? Come entertain me, I'm bored. I need something to distract me while I work.
So...I'm looking forward to Ron's graduation tomorrow night. I'm also looking forward to giving him his gift. He's been wanting an MP3 player for quite some time now and I got him one. Now he can block out all the idiots he works with. I guess there's going to be a nice ceremony and dinner. Woopie.
Sunday is a BBQ with my brother and another of Ron's friends. We're gonna make some butterfly shrimp, too! Ron's got a new recipe he wants to try out. It's probably going to be yet another day of overindulgence, so I've gotta get some jogging in today. I think I'm gonna go for a swim as well.
Well, happy Friday. I'm off to get something accomplished.
So...I'm looking forward to Ron's graduation tomorrow night. I'm also looking forward to giving him his gift. He's been wanting an MP3 player for quite some time now and I got him one. Now he can block out all the idiots he works with. I guess there's going to be a nice ceremony and dinner. Woopie.
Sunday is a BBQ with my brother and another of Ron's friends. We're gonna make some butterfly shrimp, too! Ron's got a new recipe he wants to try out. It's probably going to be yet another day of overindulgence, so I've gotta get some jogging in today. I think I'm gonna go for a swim as well.
Well, happy Friday. I'm off to get something accomplished.
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Flying
Shit! It's been a week already?! I guess it's time for an update. I just got in and I'm organizing my day. May as well stick an entry into my morning. This is probably going to take me about three hours to write, as I'm working in between. Like right now, I'm gonna put a pause on this and go up to get my coffee. Then I have to go over some things with the boss before she leaves for some meetings.
Okay, back to the desk... *sip* SO. It's been a fast, but good week. The biggest news is that Ron and I have found an apartment! WOOOOOOOooooHOOOOooooooo!!!! It's actually in my old building where I had my first apartment. I'm renting the back house from the same landlord and he called me up one day last week to tell me a place was available. I'd asked him a few months ago if there was anything in his area and to try to keep an eye out for me. I love the area, it's about 15 miles north of where we live now, in shitsville. A little bit further of a drive to work, but it's so worth it. We checked it out last week, it's a large one bedroom. Only $300 more than what we're paying now, for a lot more room and closet space. Enough room for two full grown adults. Think of that... It's got a walk-in closet in the bedroom, central air/heat and a DISHWASHER! Joy... Ah, but moving is going to be such a BITCH. We've got tons of things to organize and throw out. Two words...STORAGE UNITS. Ron's got two of them. But it's gonna be like Christmas in July! I'm sure he's going to rediscover things he forgot about years ago. This is going to be a nice, new beginning for us and I'm looking so forward to it...as you can imagine after all of my constant bitching about wanting to leave the craphouse I live in now. Even though it's going to be stressful, it's going to be a fun kind of stress.
In other haps, my cousin Mark (the one who introduced Ron and I) married his longtime girlfriend this past Sunday. Finally. They've been together 13 fucking years. Yep, two months ago he called Ron up and said they'd decided to up and do it. Hmmm...so I guess he just needed a kick in the ass from his best friend. It was a nice, budget wedding. Simple and lovely. We had a great time and saw quite a few of the same people who'd graced our wedding. And the food was so very good. You know what I love about salad bars? You can start out with a teeny pile of lettuce and still end up with a gargantuan salad. I love baby corn.
Yea.
Well let's see...I guess that's it for now. At least I'm in a good mood this week. Let's keep it up, shall we? I actually have to concetrate now. Work is calling. I'd like to get some things done today. I mean, DONE done. Have I mentioned how much I love working with my boss lately? She's RAD. I'm so happy she came back.
Later!
Okay, back to the desk... *sip* SO. It's been a fast, but good week. The biggest news is that Ron and I have found an apartment! WOOOOOOOooooHOOOOooooooo!!!! It's actually in my old building where I had my first apartment. I'm renting the back house from the same landlord and he called me up one day last week to tell me a place was available. I'd asked him a few months ago if there was anything in his area and to try to keep an eye out for me. I love the area, it's about 15 miles north of where we live now, in shitsville. A little bit further of a drive to work, but it's so worth it. We checked it out last week, it's a large one bedroom. Only $300 more than what we're paying now, for a lot more room and closet space. Enough room for two full grown adults. Think of that... It's got a walk-in closet in the bedroom, central air/heat and a DISHWASHER! Joy... Ah, but moving is going to be such a BITCH. We've got tons of things to organize and throw out. Two words...STORAGE UNITS. Ron's got two of them. But it's gonna be like Christmas in July! I'm sure he's going to rediscover things he forgot about years ago. This is going to be a nice, new beginning for us and I'm looking so forward to it...as you can imagine after all of my constant bitching about wanting to leave the craphouse I live in now. Even though it's going to be stressful, it's going to be a fun kind of stress.
In other haps, my cousin Mark (the one who introduced Ron and I) married his longtime girlfriend this past Sunday. Finally. They've been together 13 fucking years. Yep, two months ago he called Ron up and said they'd decided to up and do it. Hmmm...so I guess he just needed a kick in the ass from his best friend. It was a nice, budget wedding. Simple and lovely. We had a great time and saw quite a few of the same people who'd graced our wedding. And the food was so very good. You know what I love about salad bars? You can start out with a teeny pile of lettuce and still end up with a gargantuan salad. I love baby corn.
Yea.
Well let's see...I guess that's it for now. At least I'm in a good mood this week. Let's keep it up, shall we? I actually have to concetrate now. Work is calling. I'd like to get some things done today. I mean, DONE done. Have I mentioned how much I love working with my boss lately? She's RAD. I'm so happy she came back.
Later!
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, huh...
So the four-hundred-and-FIRST entry is much more interesting (well, to me anyway) than its predecessor. I stumbled across this article on msn this morning and found it quite interesting... This makes so much sense to me. Maybe I CAN deal with my anxiety disorder and its resulting depression on my own...someday. Thanks there, lil 'ol Hara Estroff Marano...
Q: What is the best way to deal with depression and anxiety?
A: Quickly and definitively. Whatever kicks them off, depression and anxiety both are maintained by styles of thinking that magnify the initial insult and alter the workings of the brain in such a way that the longer an episode exists, the less it takes to set off future episodes.
Anxiety and depression are probably two faces of the same coin. Surveys have long shown that 60 percent to 70 percent of people with major depression also have an anxiety disorder, and half of those suffering anxiety also exhibit clinical depression symptoms.
The stress response system is overactive in both disorders. Excess activity of the stress response system sends emotional centers of the brain into overdrive so that negative events make a disproportionate impact and hijack rational response systems. You literally can’t think straight. You ruminate over and over about the difficulties and disappointments you encounter until that’s all you can focus on. (YES! THAT'S HOW IT FEELS!!!)
Researchers believe that some people react with anxiety to stressful life events, seeing danger lurking ahead everywhere—in applying for a job, asking for a favor, asking for a date. And some go beyond anxiety to become depressed, a kind of shutdown in response to anticipated danger. People who have either condition typically overestimate the risk in a situation and underestimate their own resources for coping. (OH MAN am I guilty of this!)
Rather than developing the skills to handle situations that make them uncomfortable, sufferers merely avoid what they fear. (Uh-huh *cough* art career *cough*) Often enough, a lack of social skills is at the root. Some types of anxiety—panic disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and social phobia—are particularly associated with depression.
The fact that anxiety usually precedes the development of depression presents a huge opportunity for the prevention of depression. Young people especially are not likely to outgrow anxiety on their own; they need to be taught specific mental skills.
Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) gets at response patterns central to both conditions. And the drugs most commonly used against depression have also been proven effective against an array of anxiety disorders.
Although medication and CBT are equally effective in reducing anxiety/depression, CBT is better at preventing return of the disorder. Patients like it better, too, because it allows them to feel responsible for their own success. (That would be nice.) What’s more, the active coping that CBT encourages creates new brain circuits that circumvent the dysfunctional response pathways.
Cognitive-behavioral therapy teaches people to monitor the environment for the troubling emotional land mines that seem to set them off. That actually changes metabolic activity in the cortex, the thinking brain, to modulate mood states. It works from the top down. Drugs, by contrast, work from the bottom up, modulating neurotransmitters in the brainstem, which drive basic emotional behaviors.
Treatment with CBT averages 12 to 15 weeks, and patients can expect to see significant improvement by six weeks. Drug therapy is typically recommended for months, if not years.
Exercise is an important adjunct to any therapy. (Uh-huh...YES) Exercise directly alters levels of neurohormones involved in circuits of emotion. It calms the hyperactivity of the nervous system and improves function of the brain's emotion-sensing network. It also improves the ability of the body to tolerate stress. What’s more, it reduces negative thinking and changes people’s perception of themselves, providing a sense of personal mastery and positive self-regard.
Hmmmm...
Q: What is the best way to deal with depression and anxiety?
A: Quickly and definitively. Whatever kicks them off, depression and anxiety both are maintained by styles of thinking that magnify the initial insult and alter the workings of the brain in such a way that the longer an episode exists, the less it takes to set off future episodes.
Anxiety and depression are probably two faces of the same coin. Surveys have long shown that 60 percent to 70 percent of people with major depression also have an anxiety disorder, and half of those suffering anxiety also exhibit clinical depression symptoms.
The stress response system is overactive in both disorders. Excess activity of the stress response system sends emotional centers of the brain into overdrive so that negative events make a disproportionate impact and hijack rational response systems. You literally can’t think straight. You ruminate over and over about the difficulties and disappointments you encounter until that’s all you can focus on. (YES! THAT'S HOW IT FEELS!!!)
Researchers believe that some people react with anxiety to stressful life events, seeing danger lurking ahead everywhere—in applying for a job, asking for a favor, asking for a date. And some go beyond anxiety to become depressed, a kind of shutdown in response to anticipated danger. People who have either condition typically overestimate the risk in a situation and underestimate their own resources for coping. (OH MAN am I guilty of this!)
Rather than developing the skills to handle situations that make them uncomfortable, sufferers merely avoid what they fear. (Uh-huh *cough* art career *cough*) Often enough, a lack of social skills is at the root. Some types of anxiety—panic disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and social phobia—are particularly associated with depression.
The fact that anxiety usually precedes the development of depression presents a huge opportunity for the prevention of depression. Young people especially are not likely to outgrow anxiety on their own; they need to be taught specific mental skills.
Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) gets at response patterns central to both conditions. And the drugs most commonly used against depression have also been proven effective against an array of anxiety disorders.
Although medication and CBT are equally effective in reducing anxiety/depression, CBT is better at preventing return of the disorder. Patients like it better, too, because it allows them to feel responsible for their own success. (That would be nice.) What’s more, the active coping that CBT encourages creates new brain circuits that circumvent the dysfunctional response pathways.
Cognitive-behavioral therapy teaches people to monitor the environment for the troubling emotional land mines that seem to set them off. That actually changes metabolic activity in the cortex, the thinking brain, to modulate mood states. It works from the top down. Drugs, by contrast, work from the bottom up, modulating neurotransmitters in the brainstem, which drive basic emotional behaviors.
Treatment with CBT averages 12 to 15 weeks, and patients can expect to see significant improvement by six weeks. Drug therapy is typically recommended for months, if not years.
Exercise is an important adjunct to any therapy. (Uh-huh...YES) Exercise directly alters levels of neurohormones involved in circuits of emotion. It calms the hyperactivity of the nervous system and improves function of the brain's emotion-sensing network. It also improves the ability of the body to tolerate stress. What’s more, it reduces negative thinking and changes people’s perception of themselves, providing a sense of personal mastery and positive self-regard.
Hmmmm...
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
HOW many??
Wow, apparently this is my 400th post. Amazing. I didn't know I had it in me. I had no idea I could spew so much bullshit into cyberspace. Ah, but here I am. Wasting time... Well, it's more like waking up. I'm having the most difficult time waking up this morning. Got into work, got a few things organized, made coffee...now I'm trying to start my first project of the day and decided to write a blog entry instead. Even though I have nothing to talk about. I read other blogs that talk about politics, pertinent issues of the time, news, amazing life events or just plain great humor. What do I have? Hmmm... "Today I'm gonna go jogging." "Today I'm gonna do laundry." "That bitch hurt my feelings." "Look at my stupid doodles." Fascinating, I know.
Actually, I DO have some news. I'm so proud of Ron. In a few weeks he's going to be graduating. He has completed his four year electricians apprenticeship program! He's been working very hard and it's finally going to start paying off for him. The actual ceremony is on July 21st. I want to do something special for him, but I'm not quite sure what that is yet. I wanna surprise him... Muh lil' kewdie. I hope this means that someday soon, maybe in the next year or so, he'll be able to start working days. I'm SO TIRED of this schedule of his. Now that the schooling is over, he's going to be working late every night during the week. He used to have class on Wednesdays and get home a little early... Now it's FIVE nights of lonliness. Just more time for me to find things to do. There's plenty to do.
Hmmm...what else? Gawd, I feel so blah. I shouldn't write entries when I'm feeling so terribly blah. I think that means I should get back to work. The coffee's kickin' in. I gotta pee. Maybe I'll be back later to write about my navel.
Actually, I DO have some news. I'm so proud of Ron. In a few weeks he's going to be graduating. He has completed his four year electricians apprenticeship program! He's been working very hard and it's finally going to start paying off for him. The actual ceremony is on July 21st. I want to do something special for him, but I'm not quite sure what that is yet. I wanna surprise him... Muh lil' kewdie. I hope this means that someday soon, maybe in the next year or so, he'll be able to start working days. I'm SO TIRED of this schedule of his. Now that the schooling is over, he's going to be working late every night during the week. He used to have class on Wednesdays and get home a little early... Now it's FIVE nights of lonliness. Just more time for me to find things to do. There's plenty to do.
Hmmm...what else? Gawd, I feel so blah. I shouldn't write entries when I'm feeling so terribly blah. I think that means I should get back to work. The coffee's kickin' in. I gotta pee. Maybe I'll be back later to write about my navel.
Thursday, July 05, 2007
Red, white and poo
Happy day after July 4th. It sucks the holiday had to land right smack in the middle of the week. I would have enjoyed another long weekend. The day was nice, although hot. Welcome to another blistering summer. Maybe we'll get lucky and move into a place with central air conditioning. We had the little window unit pumping away yesterday so my brother, mister-runs-hot-and-starts-to-sweat-when-the-temp-gets-above-65, would be comfortable when he came over to give us our wedding gift...a new BBQ! He came over and put it together so that we could have our holiday BBQ on it. It was a nice time and my brother and Ron got some time to do a little male bonding. Awww... No, we didn't go see fireworks. Too many people, not enough patience.
Nothing much else going on this week. Finally managed to do laundry on MONDAY. Yes, I put it off for the rest of last week and through the weekend before I just did the shit. Oh the piles and piles I had to put away yesterday. I'm feeling better emotionally, but physically not so well. I think I might be coming down with a summer cold. Not a good idea to sit too long in front of the freezing air conditioner. I fell asleep with it blasting last night and woke up in the middle of the night freezing. This morning I was feeling okay, but as the day goes on I'm getting snifflier and snifflier. I've also got a blasted headache. OUCH. The work I'm doing today isn't helping, either. I've had to re-size about a jillion pictures for our website. UGH. sOoOoOoOo tEeEeEeEeEedius. I'm about ready to go home now...an hour early. That would be nice. I shall go home and rest. I've been so lazy in terms of exercise this week. I'd been doing so well but with this heat I haven't had energy at all! And dnow I tink I'mb geddin-guh SICK. WHAHH!!!
Well that's all for another exciting entry. Back to re-sizing a few more pics until my eyeballs DO fall out of my head.
Later.
Nothing much else going on this week. Finally managed to do laundry on MONDAY. Yes, I put it off for the rest of last week and through the weekend before I just did the shit. Oh the piles and piles I had to put away yesterday. I'm feeling better emotionally, but physically not so well. I think I might be coming down with a summer cold. Not a good idea to sit too long in front of the freezing air conditioner. I fell asleep with it blasting last night and woke up in the middle of the night freezing. This morning I was feeling okay, but as the day goes on I'm getting snifflier and snifflier. I've also got a blasted headache. OUCH. The work I'm doing today isn't helping, either. I've had to re-size about a jillion pictures for our website. UGH. sOoOoOoOo tEeEeEeEeEedius. I'm about ready to go home now...an hour early. That would be nice. I shall go home and rest. I've been so lazy in terms of exercise this week. I'd been doing so well but with this heat I haven't had energy at all! And dnow I tink I'mb geddin-guh SICK. WHAHH!!!
Well that's all for another exciting entry. Back to re-sizing a few more pics until my eyeballs DO fall out of my head.
Later.
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