Heh...got an idea from Onewetleg a little while ago. And she's right. No one cares what you had for lunch. But what the hell. Yesterday I had one of my favorites and I've decided to share because I can't think of anything original to write about on this stupid blog. And I'm bored. And I had to scan something again. AND I should be working. What else is new?
I had cut up hotdogs in it, too. Shut up. I know I'm still seven years old at heart. I used to line these up on my spoon, biggest to smallest. I'd make little pillars out of them. I'd try to put the biggest one around the tip of my tongue. I still do those things sometimes. When the mood strikes! Mmmmm, sodium rich canned food. So very satisfying!
Erg. I have so much to do, not only at work but for the wedding, the holidays, etc... I'm trying not to get overwhelmed. I certainly don't want a repeat of a few weeks ago. This time of year is always stressful for everyone, isn't it? Ugh. Eeeg. Arrghghh. That's why I'm taking this time out to share my love of Spag-O's. Awright, time to finish my froot loops and get to work.
Bye bye.
GLUTTON. I was a complete and total GLUTTON over the long weekend. Had aaaalll sorts of plans but didn't get off my ass to do much of anything...but eat, of course. That's all fine and dandy while I'm on my little mini vacay, but it's a huge a slap in the face come mOnDaY morning. Ugh. Now it's back to the grind. Not much to say this morning, other than I wish I were still in bed. Oh wait...There IS something else!IT RAINED this morning! AND we had to turn on the HEATER last night! For the first time this season!! Is winter coming? FINALLY?!?! I'm gonna have a bowl of hot soup for lunch to celebrate.'Kay...that's all for now.
Well happy Thanksgiving to ya'll! I love Thanksgiving, it's one of my favorite holidays. Now if the weather would just cool down. It's still in the low 80s. Though it's supposed to cool down more by tomorrow and the next day. There was some telltale fog this morning, too. The fog that always comes the morning of a big tempurature change... I really want some weather now. It's hard to get into the spirit of the holidays when it's still so fucking hot out. 'Kay...'nuff about the weather...Thanks for all the compliments on my artwork guys! Keeps me inspired. Drawing has become fun again. I was feeling a bit of an artist's block over the past few years due to the usual pressure that I put on myself. "I should be doing something with this! I should be making tons of money! Why aren't I doing anything with this?!?!" That's finally starting to ease up. I'll always be an artist no matter what I do with it. I enjoy sharing my art with others. It may turn into something, it may not. Heh...I guess in the spirit of Thanksgiving week, I should give thanks for my talent!
Speaking of inspiration, I met up with an old aquaintence/contact I'd done some illustrations for about three years ago. He's another artist, a writer and musician. He's done four short children's books and has asked me to work on another one with him. This time he's got a publisher. A small publisher, but it's a start. He'd submitted his other children's book that we'd worked on three years ago to about 50 publishers, larger companies, that probably didn't even look at it before they slipped the rejection letter in and sent it right back. Typical for this sort of thing. Didn't bother me none. I know these things are all about timing... He was very disappointed and put the project aside. But we've kept in touch through emails. I also had my other project to work on (speaking of which, I haven't heard from that lady in a couple of months so that one is sittin' pretty) so I didn't care. I have a good attitude about these things. They will happen when they happen. I can keep working on projects to build up a portfolio of sorts. Most importantly, I can't let career pressure ruin the joy of it.
Yeap... SOooo...
Mark, the artist dude, contacted me a few weeks ago and we got together over this past weekend to go over his new children's book. It's all written and all he needs are the illustrations. The publisher he wants to use has already published a book his short stories. First thing's first, I asked him to mail me a copy so I can get started on character development. Another fun little side project for me. Another thing that keeps me inspired. I'm also finally going to meet up with a group of artists that he's been telling me about. They get together for potlucks and such, just a bunch of other artists doing their own thing. I'd get periodic emails from Mark about their events and would brush them off. Now I'm ready to socialize with them...there are plenty of opportunities in doing so and what can it hurt? I'd love to meet more crazy artists!On that note, I'm gonna leave you with some more drawings. I did these for work a few months ago. Needed for a new design idea...
Oooooh! It's Jesus! In't he sweet? And we can't have Jesus without the beautiful Mary...
Later!
Ooooh-kayy! Here it is! I'm so very happy with how this drawing turned out. Like I said before, I'm gonna leave it black and white for the invitations. I'm also going to have them shrink it some. I want it to be above or below the wording on the front. Now I just have to take it in somewhere to get it done! Woopie! I finished another drawing! Finally...
Yesterday was the anniversary of Ron and my engagement. Wow. That sure flew, didn't it? We had a lovely evening. But not before I had an anxiety attack. I am SUCH a baby. It was the usual stressing over things that needn't be stressed about. In this case, it was getting Ron a little something special. Sometimes I really SUCK at being thoughtful. I'd already gotten him a nice card, but wanted to add a little something else. At the last minute. I'd thought about it all week, decided just a card was fine, that we should just celebrate each other on the day. And then I had to go and change my mind At the last minute. I'll ask myself again. Why OH WHY do I do this to myself? This is what happened... The day started out fine. I was content with the nice card I'd gotten Ron over the weekend. It had beautiful words and I'd done a very nice drawing in it and that was that. Right? WRONG. At about 2 p.m. on the day of our anniversary, I'd decided that I needed to do a little something else for him. Get a little somethin' special for us as a couple. But for the life of me, I could not figure out what to do. By the time I got off of work I was so desperate and anxious that I called Melanie AND Lisa for suggestions. They suggested great things. Great things that I couldn't possibly get done in the half an hour I had before I needed to be home so we could go to dinner. I decided there was time to do a little shopping near work. I parked my car near the bank because I that was an errand I needed to run before going home as well. I'd known of this cute gift shop not too far from the bank, full of perfect little lovey-dovey things. I thought of getting us something we could use together on the day, you know, and all that worthless lame crap. I saw another shop I thought might have something I needed (Lisa had suggested getting a nice frame for a formal pic of us, to be taken at a later date) but nothing came close. After wasting time in that shop, I went on to look for the one I'd originally thought of. I couldn't find it. I swear, the sidewalk had opened up and sucked it down. By this time I was starting to panic. And panic over the fact that I was panicking over NOTHING and that I shouldn't pressure myself so damn much. I decided forego the shop for now and head to the bank because I had some checks I needed to get in my account so that I could pay some big bills the next day. The shop would surely be in the direction of the bank, right? Wrong again. I'm walking to the bank trying to get the rolodex in my mind to STOP so I can concentrate. Ron calls my cell. So I'm talking to Ron when I arrive at the ATM. At this point, there is too much running through my mind. This last minute shopping set me up to have a breakdown while I was at the ATM. I was talking to Ron on the phone and trying to make a deposit. He had called wondering where I was and I told him about the picture idea and how I'd gotten anxious over getting him something special blah, blah... He's like, "It's okay honey, don't stress. I don't care, just getcher ass home." I'm like, "I WILL...just as soon as I make this deposit, dammit."Well, some dude had come up behind me in the meantime and made an irritated noise. I guess was taking longer than my alotted 15 seconds. This was the trigger. Without even turning around or getting off the phone, I told the guy to quit being such an impatient asshole and he, in turn, called me the asshole and blah, blah so on and so forth... Commence complete and total freak out. Suddenly, I couldn't add up what I was depositing (because I can't seem to do things ahead of time and because I am an idiot who has to yell rude things at strangers) so I started asking (screeching pleading) poor Ron to add up my deposit. Of course he could't understand what the fuck I was saying because I was hysterically YELLING and the phone volume was apparently up too loud. He'd kept informing me of this earlier in the coversation and I'd kept fiddling with the buttons on the side of the phone, all while trying to find the shop, the bank, my sanity, etc... It was a beautiful moment in life. But it gets even better... The ATM wanted to get in on the fun. It froze up on me. So I'm standing there yelling and crying and pounding the fucking ATM buttons. I must've looked like such an ASS to the guy behind me and God knows who else on the street. I didn't even turn around to look at the guy behind me because by this time my face was flaming from embarrassment and frustration. I've got tears streaming and snot flying...I literally lauched a snot ball onto the ATM screen. NO joke!
After all this, I got the damn machine to spit out my card and didn't even get to make the deposit. OR get anything for Ron. Fabulous. I had to go home before I had a heart attack. I'd managed to irritate the holy fuck out of Ron because of my sniveling, outlandish, totally INSANE behavior. Lovely. He'd tried as much as he could to calm me down, then ran out of patience and told me to get the hell home. It's so great to piss off your loved one ON YOUR ANNIVERSARY. THAT was my gift to Ron. An anxiety attack.
By the time I got home I'd mostly calmed down. Ron gave me a big hug. He also gave me a beautiful bouqet of flowers and an awesome sketchbook. It's really fancy with gold-edged pages and gold filigree on the cover. And he loved my card. I then took HIM out to a cozy Mexican dinner. We had some margaritas, fajitas and a tostada and traded our plates back and forth. Mmmmm-mmm!Yes, another incident. I haven't had one in a while. Ron is handling them better, though they frustrate him a lot. As is very understandable. I am not as crazy, anxious and stupid as I think I am. I am fine. Everything is fine. There is no reason to get so worked up over these things! And the battle continues...
Okay, so finally...THIS is how far I've gotten on my invitation drawing...
This weekend, so help me God, I am going to finish the damn vine! I've actually gotten further than this on the vine part, but I still have to add leaves and ink to it. That's tedious. And I'm lazy. I love how this has turned out so much...that I'm probably going to get it as my fourth tattoo. Definately have to think about it longer, not to mention decide just where on my body it's gonna go. So after the wedding. AFTER the wedding for sure.
Like take a much-needed monotony break to do something "artistic". Yup, I'm at it with the scanner again. Heh. Say hello to Gladys.
Oh yea...and could someone please tell the weather gods that it is supposed to be FALL now! It's fucking 90 degrees in Southern California today! This is BULLSHIT! I WANT TO WEAR A SWEATER, DAMMIT!
I'm finally starting to get on the wedding planning ball. I purchased my wedding dress on Sunday! No pics yet, I can't even find it on the website...but it's hanging in my closet in a garment bag. I LOVE IT!!! I'd had a favorite from last time and they still had it in stock so I tried it on again. Then I asked if they could find an alternative one that was similiar to it so that I could compare one more time. I ended up picking the alternative! It's lovely...just a little unique, but nothing too spectacular. I'm very happy with my decision. I made sure to put it far in the back of my closet, away from Ron's prying eyes. I also warned him about seeing it before the day and he, being a guy and all, only needs one warning when it comes to this kind of stuff. Then it's just, "Alright honey, whatever you say." Give or take an eyeroll... Heh! Melanie, Lisa and I dove headfirst into planning on Sunday. Not only did we get my dress, we also picked out the bridesmaid dresses! AND we got together for coffee before we went dress shopping so that we could go over dates and guest lists for bridal showers and the bachelorette party. AAaaand we had a ton of fun doing everything! It was so much fun trying on dresses with them. I love how the bridesmaid dresses we picked coordinate with my dress. Lovely, lovely... So as of today, we have coordinated a great list of contacts. We've also started looking into the photographer and DJ, because those are the FIRST things that need to be booked...like...yesterday. As I get things done and get more information I feel less stressed. I just keep telling myself, after all it's only a wedding. It doesn't have to be the end all, be all of everything. I'm a very simple girl when it comes to these things. All I want is a nice celebration, not an extravaganza! It's the marriage that's much more important. On the mom front, she's feeling better. She's had a therapist come and walk her around a lot since the accident, only two weeks ago. So she's back on her feet and will be her fiesty old self within a month or so. I'm gonna go visit her and spend the night this Saturday. Ron will follow me there and hang out with us for dinner, then I'm gonna spend the night by myself. I'll probably have a nice Sunday breakfast with my parents and even *gasp* go to church with them! I don't think the place will burn down when I walk through the doors 'cause it's only been about four months since I last went to church. I'ma great Catholic. Ah...but that'sa WHOLE 'nuther story. Before I write a book, I gotta get back to work.
I'm so blah today. I feel poopie. I'm not motivated an' they be lots 'o work to do. As usual, when the boss is gone the phone goes crazy. People calling who want this and that and that and this and I have no idea what they're talking about because my boss has all that with him. Just gotta write it all down and report it like a good little girl. Yes, that's me. I'm SOOOoooo mutherfuckin' GOOD.So good that I'm taking a break to write some bullshit. This week has been okay. I'm stressing over things so that's making it a little tough. I've been trying to get the exercise in to take my mind off things and help with the stress levels. Went for a great walk with my brother last night. Did a buttload of leg crunches on Monday. Tomorrow after work I'm gonna take the stair climbing to a new level. It helps a lot when I'm feeling bad. It's like, at least I'm trying to keep in shape! And we've been keeping up with the less drinking and smoking thing. 'Cept for Tuesday...we were kinda bad. Went to Melanie's house to do the Halloween candy give-out thing. It was fun, Tyra and her adorable little one were there. We didn't dress up, just wore black outfits...simple black top with simple black pants. I'd dressed in my favorite repeat Halloween costume for Lisa's party on Saturay night...a sexy skunk. I found it about five years ago at some costume emporium joint. I love it! I won a lil' 'ol prize for it at the party, too. Heh.So...Halloween night we drank wine, ate Melanie's wonderful chili, drank wine, gave out candy, drank wine, ATE candy of course (Melanie just HAD to have peanut butter cups and I cannot leave those alone), drank wine, watched silly Halloween movies and drank wine. I was slumped and drooling all over Ron by 9:30. It was cozy. He's trying to watch a movie, I'm all wishy-washy wine drunk. There's nothing like the wine drunk...it's just different. So cloudy and slurry. And thirsty. I went to bed that night and had a thousand thirsty dreams until I finally got my ass up and slurped a gallon of water from the kitchen faucet. You know the thirsty dreams...searching for water fountains, sinks, fridges with milk or coke...you find them and drink and drink and drink...just like the toilet dreams when ya gotta pee. I hate those. Searching for toilets and peeing and peeing and PEEING. Haven't actually peed the bed though, thank the Lord. Last time I did that I was like, six. Anyway, what the hell am I talking about pee for? That was my Halloween. Tonight we're going bowling with the two girls Cathy. At least I think we are. Haven't heard from them yet. Come to think of it, I'm gonna go email them now. End of boring entry. Back to work. After the emails, of course. Later!
I'm feeling very anxious and depressed this morning. It's been a good while since I've felt this way. I'm worrying and worrying about everything from the wedding, my job, my living situation, my health to the state of the world today, the future...AAAAAAAAAAA!!!! The 'what if's' are gangin' up on me, maaan! I'll write it down. Read it over. And think. R-E-L-A-X. Does this help? Somewhat. I'm going to go have some caffine now. That should help me relax. HAH!
