October is over...again.

Well I should throw out at least ONE entry before the month is over. It's the end of October already.

It's been an okay year, I guess. Things are still fine. Work is good. Life goes on. I'm just sorta depressed on and off, same old same old.

At least we're going to a couple of Halloween parties this Saturday. Gonna dress up as a devil again. Woo.

Ugh... What else? The pets are fine... My parents are okay... I'm trying to visit them more. My mom just turned 67. It's very scary watching them get old. I feel I really have to make more of an effort to see them. I'm going to need to help them more as they age, since I'm not having any kids and all. Gives me more time for them. I really have to stop thinking about them dying... And my pets, and Ron... I worry so much about that shit.

Well, I should get back to work. Signing out for October...

Once a month is better n' nothin'...

Hi blog! It's been a long time again! Oh so many things to talk about. Not very exciting things though, so here we go...



~First and foremost, thanks to my wonderful friend Cathie for getting us the details right away... We're going to see Faith No More on November 30th! Yaaaay!!!! I get to see my darling Mike Patton perform again! I KNEW those bastards would come to Los Angeles again, I just knew it. They have too many fans here not to. I know Mike hates LA and I really can't say I blame him, but really... It wasn't fair that they were going to reunite and then skip out on us!



~After almost 8 months of being on the day schedule, Ron is back to nights. I must say that it was great having a husband home at night with me, but I did miss the freedom of having the place (and tv) to myself.



~It's football season again! Hurraaayyy! Not that I'm much of a football fan, I just really enjoy the ambiance of the game in the backround while I'm tootlin' around the house/cleaning on Sundays. Plus there's chili dip n' beer!



~The new job is still going very well. I love my new boss, he's so easy to work with and doesn't make me nervous like my old boss did. I'm coming up on the end of my third month here, which means I'm going to get hired on pretty soon, which means I'll get more hours. Gotta call the agency this week and check on the details.



~After months of slacking on and off, I'm finally getting back into a regular exercise routine. It's not doing what it used to for me, especially since I've gained such an appreciation for beer along with my carbs but OH WELL. Something is better than nothing and a little belly ponch and cellulite never hurt no one. Gotta live and enjoy! But one of the things I've really been getting into is bike riding with Melanie. It's a wonderful workout and I get bored with jogging and walking all the time.



~Speaking of exercise, last night I bought my pre-season snowboarding pass! WOOOO! I can't believe I enjoy the sport enough to buy a season pass! I'm so excited...every weekend this winter we're heading to Wrightwood for some glorious boarding fun! And I'm extremely excited to go to Ski-dazzle this year and buy my very own new snowboard that actually fits my height! I borrowed Melanie's for the remainder of last year and it worked great in comparison to that HUGE ass Fat Bob board I was using at first. Talk about tying a log to my legs and throwing myself down a hill. It's so nice to have something I can control... So snowboard season can't come fast enough! Here we come!



~I'm continuing to try to find pet sitting jobs here and there. The cute little business card I made has come in real handy. I'm going to make more professional ones when I'm through the cheap ones I have. But my goal is to just hand them out to friends/friends of friends and see where it goes. It's really just something I want to do on the side, just like my art, because I don't want to get burnt out on it. I'm still regularly working on the neighbor's cess pool tank, which I've finally persuaded him to let me do over. It's in bad shape and needs an overhaul so I get to do that this weekend. Woo!



~I finally got my messed up tattoo redone in late July. The nice lovebirds I'd gotten done for our 1st wedding anniversary in 2008. It got infected and screwed up the color, so after 2 years of shittiness I got it recolored. Then it got infected again. Yes. But it was a different kind of infection in that it was lumpy. But the minute it started to hurt I went to the doctor and got anibiotics so it wouldn't get completely RUINED this time. Thankfully, it healed and looks great...but I think I may be allergic to tat ink. Who knew? I also got the following little tidbit added to my clownfish tattoo. Yes...I'm a dork, but I love it...







HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAAA!!!! I just HAD to do it! Damn pop culture!



~In fish news, I almost lost my darling 2 year old Lyretail Hawkfish last week. He managed to jump out of the tank through a small space in the back. This is him as a lil' baybeee...



Not that great of a pic and it's old. I don't have a current pic, but this one is as good as any...



He's gorgeous with the colors of the sunset and blue eyes.

So I'd just gotten home from work, it was about 6:30 p.m. As I was prepping dinner and putting things away, I noticed Stan cat checking something out behind the tank. He never goes back there so I had to go over to investigate. There was my poor fishy, starting to dry out. I thought he was gone, but I picked him up and he flipped a little so I put him in the tank. He promptly sank down to the bottom, looking all pale with carpet and cat hair stuck to one side of him. I didn't expect him to make it. But about two hours later, there he was on his favorite rock perch, puffing away and all stressed out with carpet still trailing from his gills. After another hour, I reached in with the net and made him swim to get the carpet and hair off. He was back on his perch a few hours later, looking a little better as he'd gotten all of his color back.

Almost a week later and he's back to normal, eating and swimming around happily. *whew*

And that's about it for now. Looking forward to picking up my Diamond Goby today after work. The fish store guys got me a huge one that should survive, as I have a nasty predator Pistol Shrimp hiding in the rocks. Bastard came with one of the rocks and has grown to the size of a small lobster. And of course they're smart and hard to catch. GAH! Anyway, I need mister Goby to help sift the bottom sand because it's always got a fine layer of green algea on it now. Figures...the tank is approaching 3 years old this March. Yes, other women have 3 year old humans (YUCK) and I'd much prefer my 3 year old tank. :P

I'll try to be back before the end of the year. Bye bye for now!

It's going fine, really

Another long time no writin'. All is going just swell. I'm really liking my new job. Everyone is very nice and easy to get along with. The only problem is that it's not full time yet. I know they're planning on hiring me, but they have to wait out the contract with the agency. I agreed to take a few less hours for the time being so that they can afford to keep me on while they work things out. I think the minimum for this agency is two months. I have a meeting planned with my boss for next week so that we can go over when exactly I will be brought on full time. But for now this is working for me. Partly because I've been working part time for so long that I really don't want to go full again! Heh... But I know I have to. At least I'm going in every day now.

It's still kind of surreal not working for that Poopie Co. anymore. I don't miss my old boss at all, although I do miss my co-worker. She was a sweetheart. I really hope she's doing okay. So far I haven't gotten any desperate emails from her so I assume all is well.

Sorry, still no pictures of my new gecko, Charlie. He sure is cute though. Love to watch him 'hunt' and eat crickets. I need to get the camera out and do some downloading. We've taken many fun, random pictures this summer. We still haven't made it to the beach though. It's been very weird weather, quite cold for summer. I'm dreading the inevitable heat wave that's going to come most likely at the end of this month and last on and off through November. There will be fires in them hills!

I know, I'm terribly boring lately. Well, I'd rather be boring than all stressed out. I've been trying my best to keep the stress at a minimum in all areas of my life. It's just not worth it.

Holy CRAP! It's finally happened!

Well I've been sooo very out of the internet loop lately and today I finally have the time and motivation to write in here.

So the biggest news of all is that I have FOUND A NEW JOB! And since I'm so lazy with writing lately and I'm tired of telling the story over and over... I'ma go ahead and copy and paste from an email in which I told a friend about said new job...

"Well I've got some news for you! Guess what?! JUST GUESS. I GOT A NNEEWWW JOOOOOOBBB!!!! AAAAAAAAA!!!! *bells n' whistles* *confetti* *confetti* I'm thrilled to the gills because a.) I finally get to get away from that crazy, snobby boss 'o mine and work in an office with mostly MEN. b.) I no longer have a 40 minute to hour long commute (try 6 minutes...home for lunch, here I come!) and c.) It's FULL TIME and the same position of office manager at a small company! Yaaay!

The company is in the environmental/architectural field in that they locate subsurface utilities, gas lines, cables, underground storage tanks. So it's technicians out on the field n' me in the office making sure all is well.

It's actually a pretty young business (7 years old) and it's growing so the owner (a nice family man in his mid 40's who grew up in the area) is moving to the next step, which was to hire a full time person to help him get there. I have all the right small business experience and I'm actually very excited to be able to use the skills I learned during my 7 year tenure at Poopie Co. Even though my boss was very irritating, I still admire parts of her and am very thankful for what I did manage to squeeze out of her. Yea...couldn't get a lot of money, but I did get knowledge n' that's important..."

That's pretty much it in a little 'ol nutshell. So I'm on my last week at the old job and working every other day while I put in a few hours at the new place until I start full time next week. I'm sure as time goes on my new boss will be annoying in his own way, but hell... What boss isn't? You have to give that to them and respect them for giving you work...until it becomes such that you have to move on for your own good. That's what I'm doing. No hard feelings, just very happy to be able to move on. FUCKINGFINALLY.

There are plenty of other things that are new but I'm not in the mood to write about it at the moment. Oh wait, one thing I should mention... I also got a new pet this past weekend. My little Rosie Tarantula died about six months ago and I really missed having a cute little guy in a ten gallon tank to feed crickets to. Well I was at the fish store replacing one of my bulbs when I gazed upon their vast reptile collection. Before I knew it, I found myself asking what they might suggest as a low maintenance critter that eats crickets and stays small. Dude pulled out a fat tailed gecko and I fell in love. I'll have to post a pic when I get a good one. He is SO ADORABLE!!!

Well, it's time to get to the store n' grab some dinner fixins. I will be back sooner than before, I promise. And I'll post a pic of my latest art project, too! WHOoOoo!

BAROO?

One of my first pet portraits! I did this for a friend. It's actually just the first attempt. I'm not sure if I want to do a pencil version. I quite like the stark black n' white with thick lines. It's kinda my thing. Maybe I'll do another one and shade it with water colors. Yay me! I drawd again! :P

Number 650

This here is my 650th post on this blog. Has it really been six years? Almost seven? I don't seem to have much to say as of late. There's plenty going on but I don't feel much like writing about it. I usually come here just to check out a few of the blogs on my roll over there.

Nothing has really changed... Still at my job part time, still working on taking care of an animal or two on the side. Still unable to touch my art. I'm getting too emotional over it and it's screwing me. I could be doing pet portraits right now. But I'm too busy being depressed and feeling sorry for myself. Yea, same old shit on a different day.

I'm also trying not to distract myself with too many things online while at work. I started the nasty habit years ago and it's a tough one to quit. I can't take advantage of my employer like that, no matter how shitty they may seem. So facebook, blogs, message boards and the like have taken a backseat to work. By the time I get home I don't feel much like looking at a computer screen anymore. I'm also doing other things on my days off, like looking for jobs and working on my business. Besides, there's not much to say other than I continue to struggle in life and it's my own damn fault.

There are a few good things, though... A neighbor has hired me to take care of his 28 gallon salt tank so I've got my first "client". I've also looked into volunteering at a local parrot sanctuary. Unfortunately, I won't be allowed to handle the birds, but I will be able to help prepare their food n' shyt. I hope to start doing a few days a week this summer.

OH YEA! And now Ron is out of work! Isn't that lovely? I do believe he'll be called right back as soon as they get some contracts going again, but right now it's pretty dry so they're making him stay home. So now we're really poor and both dependent on unemployment benefits...well, until I can get off my lazy, insecure ass and make money with my own business! Right...

That's about it for now. I must go and work on my positive outlook. Yea... That's it!

Three years...

Well, it certainly hasn't been easy, but we've made it to the three year mark. Happy Anniversary to us. Things may be a bit dysfunctional, but at least it's still mostly happy. Cheers to a better year for both of us.

Love you, my great big fannyhead.

Still plugging away, but I learned something new!

Life continues at the usual pace... Just coming here to put down some thoughts...

I'm still plugging away at my shitty job. Still interviewing a bit, but not enough. It's better than nothing though. I'm so worried about my future. I hate it here, it is soul crushing. But I'm doing what I gotta do for now.

After getting our taxes done yesterday, I'm feeling very unorganized. I learned two major lessons, the first being that I REALLY NEED to start deferring some of my meager income into some sort of savings for retirement. I'm so behind and can't believe I haven't done anything yet. I've thought about it, but now it's time to get some much needed financial advice. Second is that I need to save ALL MY RECEIPTS. Especially if I'm thinking of doing any sort of business on my own. But I continue to struggle to get my shit together. I'm managing to scrape it into a big pile right now. The pet sitting business is slow, but coming. I think I might just go ahead and make some business cards to start distributing. I'm hesitant to start a website. I don't know why. Plus, the friend that is helping me is seriously lagging...of course. Well, he's got a baybee on the way so I might end up getting screwed and doing the site myself. New parents tend to drop off the face of the planet.

Another thing worth mention is my weight. I've gained at least 20 pounds. My drinking habits have not helped and I've decided to slow down. Especially with the beer, which I've acquired quite the taste for. I've really been putting it away the past six months or so, and my belly and butt are showing it. Also, the lack of energy has caused me to slow down on exercising. So no more drinking during the week and it's gotta be controlled on the weekends. Maybe I can be a good influence on Ron, who continues to drink way too much beer. I won't say how much because it's embarrassing.

Despite that, I think we're doing pretty well in learning how to deal with each other. The relationship continues to run much smoother. We're trying to appease each other's needs a little more and it helps. I'm also trying my best to stay calm and not let his words or actions get to me... Pretty damn hard and we still slip into an argument here and there. It pains me to see what an alcoholic Ron is. He admits it but doesn't do anything about it. He simply cannot quit drinking so much and won't think it's a real problem until his health is affected. This scares the holy hell out of me, but I am powerless. If I nag, it'll just start an argument. So I have to try to be an example and wait to see if he decides to stop. I'm just not sure how long I can wait while he continues this selfish behavior. The sad thing is that he thinks he has it all under control and he doesn't seem to understand my conern.

So... While I bury those problems, let's get to something positive shall we? I finally, FINALLY learned how to snowboard! I started about three seasons ago and only managed to hit the mountain one to two times a year since. Each time I went I most literally HIT the mountain and was therefore unenthused for a while. Actually, I didn't go at all last year. It took Melanie being unemployed and me being partially unemployed for us to get up there more than a few times so that I could actually make progress and start to learn. She and her brother discovered an awesome bunny slope that is longer and more advanced than the old bunny slope we used to hit on the other side of the mountain. That slope really helped me learn, as well as using a board that was the right size for me. Turns out the board Ron got me was way too big and that's what was keeping me from being able to turn and control the thing without going too fast or falling. We went again on Sunday with her brother, his friend and Ron and it was so fun! I even managed to get down the bunny slope twice without falling and THEN make it down the real, long run down the face of the mountain! I fell about four times on that one, but they were little and much more controlled. Hehe!

Well that's it for now. I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed again. Time to do the usual and finish my work so the day goes by and I can go home. Bye for a while...

It's not over! I'm still alive!

Nope. I'm still writing in here. Nothing very interesting though. I'm too scatterbrained to stick to a theme. Unless that theme is general depression. Heh... No, I'm actually doing fine despite the fact that I'm poor. It could be worse.

So I almost got a new job this week at a real estate development/property management company. ALMOST. But they moved too fast for me, wouldn't even let me go home and think about it. I interviewed last Thursday. Friday they called me to come in on Monday. There was another candidate there when I arrived on Monday morning. We both had to read the company manual and then take a comprehension test. We both sat in the owners office as he went over our tests and grilled us about the wrong answers. Then he had us go back, open the manuals and do the wrong answers over. When we were done with that, he sat us both down and told us we were both hired and that we'd be switching off between that office and another one in the valley. He said we'd get training that afternoon and start putting together our personnell files. Then he said he needed to talk to us separately for about 10 minutes each, I assume to discuss our compensation. The other girl was first so I stepped out and looked around the office a bit. I was terribly nervous and uncomfortable. I really wasn't sure I wanted to accept the job.

While I waited, I walked over to the old receptionist/secretary that we were to replace and tried to make small talk by asking her how long she'd been there. A whopping two weeks and Monday was her last day. Not too surprised, I asked if the boss was 'difficult' and she nodded enthusiastically. We whispered a bit and I told her I still needed to give my two weeks and that I wasn't ready to start the job yet. She said he didn't let her go home and think about it, either. That's when I realized that this was not the environment I wanted to be in, much less one I'm going to last in. A very strict place where we weren't allowed to touch the internet or even personalize our own computers. Man...I've gotten way too spoiled here. Anyway, next thing I know the other girl came out of his office and some auditors arrived and were whisked into his office. No time for me to talk to the guy before we're taken to the break room and told we need to go to lunch because by that time it was 11:45. I'm handed a time card and off we go! I was close to home (one of the perks) so I just drove there on my lunch break. After talking to Ron and Melanie, I called them from home to say I wouldn't be coming back and that I'd decided the position wasn't for me.

I feel like a chicken shit, but I can honestly say I'm glad I didn't take the position. I could just tell by reading the manual and by the way the guy talked to me that this was not going to be a good fit. Not to mention that I'd be working for yet another filthy rich person. In the manual was the list of accounts and files. I got to the page that listed his personal accounts and noticed a beach house, a mountain cabin, cars for each of the kids... Ugh... And he had pictures of his stupid kids and grandkids all over the place. A fambly man. BARF. Hehe...I'm such a bitch. I really don't mind family people if they're not rich, arrogant assholes. And if they don't talk about their kids too much. Hehehe!

Some other exciting news, Ron and I went on 'vacation' to Brian Head resort in Utah this year. He had three days off of work and I had enough time off to combine it into the short vacation. It was the same thing as last year, we spent it at his mom's time share resort. It was beautiful weather and the slopes were great. I'm starting to get the hang of snowboarding. I might just get it this year if I can make it to the mountain a few more times. But the trip was way too short. We got there Thursday night and spent Friday and Saturday, then left Sunday evening after a movie. It sucked having to come home so soon.

That's about all I have time for now. I've been so damn busy at work because I only have two days to do shit and we're starting to get busy for Easter again. I hope I get some more hours soon. My unemployment was delayed and I'm completely broke. It really sucks and makes me feel like such a loser. Maybe one day I'll get a real job. Maybe one day I'll get this pet sitting thing off the ground.

New horizons

I'm moving right along in my pet sitting business venture. This is the first version of my logo. I'm getting some new graphics software tomorrow from my friend at the aquarium shop so I can color it a little better. He's going to put Adobe Fireworks on my little 'ol girl. I'm tired of Photoshop and I'd like to see what I can do with this in another program for a change. He's also going to help me build a website. I've got my domain name, too! I'll reveal that a little later in the process when things are a little more concrete. But it's a start to getting myself out there. The business cards will come a little later. A website is a better first step... Then I'll have the address on the cards! In' 'nat sumpthin'? Heh...

So I'm going to concentrate on exotics. Birds, reptiles, rodents, insects... Of course I'll offer services for dogs and cats, but my heart with the not so traditional pets. There aren't too many people willing to take your Boa for a weekend or read to your lonely cockatoo while you're on a business trip. Well, maybe there are... But I'd love to be one of them.

In other news, my marriage continues to improve. I don't know what it is... Maybe we just needed to hit rock bottom. I know it's never going to be easy, but I think we're picking up the tools to make this work a little better. And it's so true... In order to make a change in a relationship, or anywhere in life, you need to start with yourself. That's what I've done. I started with this anxiety I keep having over cleaning. I've finally realized that the clean police are not going to break down my door and drag me away to dirty jail for not vacuuming every day. The dishes can wait, too. Keeping up and doing them little by little helps, too. The main thing is that it's doesn't all HAVE to be done NOW. Ron doesn't even nag me. It's ME who keeps putting all this pressure on myself. I don't need it anymore.

That's it for an update. I've gotta eat din din now. Mmmm... Tuna Helper. I am SUCH a cook.

Feeling a little small...but fyne.

Well hi and a very late Happy New Year! Now I'm going to ask the inevitable... Is it ALREADY 2010?! What the hell happened to the last ten years?!

So things have been going fine lately. Just the usual. The first pet sitting job went great and I was invited back for the next week. I'm now working on my business card design and will hopefully have it printed by next week. I'm also psyching myself up to look at the vet tech/animal husbandry classes at some nearby *gulp* schools. I figure I need to strengthen my skills and it may as well be with the animals because I would like that to be my career.

Speaking of "career"... To the people who keep telling me how talented and wonderful my drawing is and how I should make that my main career goal, make cartoons, go into graphic art (BLAH), paint, sell, sell, sell because I could make so much more money at it! First of all, thank you very much for your confidence in my talent. HOWEVER. I am not interesed in making it a career. It is something that I used to love and it has become a major source of anxiety. I can't sit down and just draw for the joy of it anymore without a voice in my head telling me I missed the boat and should have done this for a living and that I'ma great big failure because everyone is always wondering WHY I didn't do my ART ART ART because I'm so TALENTED.

I'm working on making it enjoyable again and that's about all I can do right now. I know there are so many things I can do with art when it comes to making money. Really though, the market is flooded with artists. I've also gotten screwed a few times, which is inevitable when you're starting out. I know that sounds like an excuse but honestly, I'm just not interested in putting in the effort to make myself a known artist. Maybe some day I'll meet someone serious, someone who actually has the FUNDS to PAY ME for my work. Until then I will continue to work on not putting so much pressure on myself and loving it again like I used to. Also, I will NEVER, EVER, EVER, EEEVVVVERRRRR do ANYTHING FOR ANYONE without PAYMENT, FIRST AND FOREMOST!

No... I'm not bitter. I'm excited about figuring out the next step in doing something that I actually like as my everyday job. I know that I'll always have my art and I WILL be inspired again. It's never too late.

Other than that, things are just peachy. I can't believe how much Ron and my attitudes have changed in the past few months. I hope we can keep it up because we're doing well. We're finally communicating like adults. I expect some more pitfalls here and there, but I'm not going to let it get as bad as it did before. That's all for now. Maybe I'll be back sooner than three weeks next time...

Later!