Monday, June 30, 2008

A Sad Goodbye and a Pregnant Bride

*whew*

What a weekend... I've never attended both a funeral and wedding within 48 hours. Very interesting, I must say. There's a range of emotions, especially magnified when one is suffering from PMS. No, it's not an excuse...it is very real. I think I might need to change my pills because I've never had such strong symptoms.

Awww...thanks very much for all of your condolences, ya'll 'er sweet. What a tough week, one of the longest I've ever experienced. The funeral was on Saturday and I went with Melanie and her boyfriend. It the was the catharsis I needed. The service was held at a lovely local funeral home in a church atop a hill. The place was surrounded by trees and dappled sunlight. Such a relaxing and beautiful atmosphere, not to mention perfect weather. There was a slideshow of his life at the beginning, pictures from his life, his family and friends... He was only 53. He didn't have any children of his own, but many nieces and nephews that adored him. Not surprisingly he was considered the "fun" uncle. No shit. Near the end of the slide show were pictures from that last day of his life. There was even video. I didn't realize someone was filming me that mornig as I walked around with no bra in my ratty t-shirt and shorts. Ah...but such are the joys of camping. Anyway, those scenes naturally brought on the water works. Good thing Melanie thought ahead (as always) and brought some napkins. The following service was wonderful, and it was great to see so many friends and family come up to the mic and say a few words.

He was laid to rest next to other family members, under a huge evergreen on the side of a hill. A very steep hill. The balls of my feet got a workout that day. Then we headed to his house to celebrate his crazy life, as he would have wanted it. This means there was lots of booze. I was a good girl though, made sure not to get plastered. Everyone who was camping with us was at the funeral and the house. I enjoyed hanging out with them again. It was kind of like finishing what we had started that weekend.

I still have this sad feeling in my gut though... Like... I don't know. It's weird, I just have to get over it. In all my swirling emotions and PMS, it doesn't help that my new favorite music at the moment reminds me of that weekend. I had downloaded and gotten very into it before we left. I didn't want to risk bringing the ipod along since I'm still feeling the sting from the other one being stolen...so I had this music in my head the entire weekend. I attach tons of emotion to music so now every time I hear it I get this bittersweet feeling... But I like it. I can't explain it. Anyway, it'll pass.

Then there was the wedding. Rons friend Jay from work. Nice enough guy, don't know him too well. He and his fiance came to our wedding...I guess before they were engaged. I'm really not too crazy about weddings...not even my own. As I recall, I just wanted to get all the hubub OVERWITH. As simple elegant as possible without spending way too much money. I enjoyed it very much but I can say never, ever again. Weddings don't mean as much as they used to. This one was nice though. At the top of a mountain at a ranch. There was a waterfall, lots of trees with pretty lights hanging from them, their initials in flowers on the side of the hill...

It looked like there were a lot of chicks involved. A lot of chicks with tattoos. They're so common now. I'm getting kind of tired of seeing them, actually. I mean, I know I have them but shit...at least they're slightly inconspicuous. Some of these girls had these huge things on the backs of their calves, on their thighs, traling from their shoulders to their elbows... One even had a tattoo on the back of her neck and behind her ear! I'm sorry but, EW. I finally got a closer look of the neck tat later on and realized it was a heart with a pair of scissors cutting through it. GROSS. How fucking immature can you get?! Yes, someone broke your heart...MUST you post it on your NECK? UGH. I couldn't get close enough to see what was behind her ear. But I'm so sure those things are gonna look killer when she's 60.

Okay, so I remember Ron telling me about how Jay got this girl knocked up at the beginning of their relationship and that she already had another kid from a previous relationship. I also remember Ron telling me that her engagement ring cost $8,000. Those things kinda made me sick. Then I remember Ron telling me she lost the kid. That kinda made me sad. Fast forward to the wedding, and there's the beautiful bride (she really did look beautiful, few brides don't) walking up the isle in a dress that sorta makes her look pregnant. Is she pregnant?! HUH? Turns out she's 7 months, according to the drunken new sister-in-law who yelled it out during her speech.

*sigh*

I guess that's they way things are now. I mean, my own sister-in-law was two months along when they got married 15 years ago. They were 21 and 22. They're still together, but that's a rarity these days. It's depressing. I'm so tired of people bringing children into the mix so soon. But I have to remember, not everyone is the same. Not everyone is afraid to have children, like I am. That's the thing that's been bothering me. AGAIN. I can't get it out of my head. And last night I was terribly emotional and wanted so badly to go home and stop having to pretend I was interested in what was going on. But not until after we ate, of course. Mmmmm...prime rib...beer...wine... Still didn't want to be around those people. Then I started getting down on myself for not wanting to give Ron a child right now. I'm just not ready. WE'RE not ready. And that's OKAY. I have to get that through my curly head. I feel left out though. Like, I should have already done it by now. Like, WHY don't I want to? Why can't I get over this? I have to stop thinking about it so much. DUH. THAT'S why I can't get over it. And it's not easy to get over when I'm constantly hearing or reading about pregnancies...many of which are in unhealthy situations. It's frightening how many men out there have "two families". It's sickening.

I can't keep thinking about it like I do. I'm becoming far too bitter about the whole thing. It'll happen if it's gonna and that's it. I can't let my stupid insecurity do this to me. I've still got this insecurity and I know that's what makes me very bitter and angry sometimes. Like, I constantly compare myself when there really IS NO COMPARISON. I need to go jog now. Maybe that'll put me in a better, not quite so "blah" mood. It IS a gorgeous day out.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

You never think it could happen to you...

And then, just like that...tragedy strikes. I'm not doin' too well today. Ya see, my vacation started out all well and good, but things took quite a turn on Saturday.



Thursday was fun. It was nice to spend the morning with Ron. Then I met up with Melanie and Tyra for lunch, something I never get to do because I work too far away and only have a half hour for lunch. I picked up food on the way, picked them up from work and we headed to a nearby park for a leisurely summer lunch. We ate and chatted at a picnic table, in the shade of a lovely tree. Ahhhh...



After I dropped them back at work, I headed for the aquarium shop to pick up my chiller. I thought only cold water tanks, or tanks with tons of lighting needed chillers. Turns out that even the tropical reef fish need cooler temps. They don't do well with temps in the 80's all the time. It's best for the fish to have temps at roughly 72 ~ 78 degrees. Makes sense though. Just think about how big and deep the ocean is, compared to the lakes and streams freshwater fish come from. There are all sorts of factors that affect the much more sensitive saltwater fish in a closed system. SO...before I get all fishy-technical again... I got the chiller and set it all up myself. No gysers and no leaks! Amazing! I kept going back to check my connections, expecting a disaster at any moment. Didn't happen...and the expensive new toy works great. Cooled the tank from the 82 degrees it was at all week to a nice 77, in just a few hours. Yay.



By the time I got the chiller sitch squared away, Melanie was home from work. So I headed to her house for our weekly bike ride. After our ride we headed to the grocery store to pick up all the goodies we'd need for the camping trip. Meat... Check. Alcohol... Check. Water... Check. Wood... Check. S'mores ingredients... Check. I also picked up some groceries for home, since I'd put off grocery shopping for about a month by then. Bad me. I just HATE shopping of any kind. Especially at night, after a long hot day and a bike ride. We got home at ten and by the time we were done unloading, I was so exhausted. So I went home so I could unload the essential fridge stuff and hit the hay.



Friday I packed in like an hour... It was no surprise when I discovered I'd forgotten my deoderant later on in the trip. *SIGH* I ALWAYS forget my damn deorderant! Oye. And Melanie and I can never, ever manage to leave for a trip in the morning hours. It's no matter that we have the day off. I mean, get up early? What for?? Hah. We'd shot for leaving at 11 a.m., which in our time frame means 2:00 p.m., which is exactly when we finally got on the road. Well, 2:30 actually. It was a HOT drive to the river, with a couple a stops to eat and pee...we made it there by about 7:30 p.m. Ugh. But it was wonderful to see that the boys had us all set up.



We met up with Melanie's old camping group from high school. That's actually where she first met her boyfriend...camping in high school. Then they met up again ten years later and started dating. Interesting... Anyway, it was Melanie's boyfriend I.G., his two friends who're brothers, C.O. and R.O., their cousin M, his girlfriend J, L and her boyfriend D and a couple other friends of the group C and R. Yea. Got all that? Later that evening, the brother's father H.O. and uncle H.O. (yes, there's two of them, just try to keep up) joined us.



Friday evening was a blast...well, what I remember of it. Ya see, the boys had built a makeshift "bar" with some planks of wood. They built it onto a tree branch and even re-enforced the thing with two-by-fours dug into the dirt hill behind it. So once we got there, we started drinkin'. And eatin'. And drinkin'. And smokin'. A great time was had by all. I even managed to smear chocolate all over my face, arms and thighs at some point during the evening 'cause I woke up all chocolatey (and headachey) on Saturday morning. Well...not ALL over...it was pretty streaky. But it was plenty sticky. Good thing I was just on top of the covers.



So we had a great breakfast, made by M's lovely girlfriend J. I think I rolled out at about 8 a.m....she'd been up since 7 just a cookin' away. There were bagels, hash browns, eggs, bacon AND sausage. Oh, and flour tortillas. I made myself a helluva breakfast burrito. Then we spent much of the morning lounging around the campsite. It was so relaxing. Just thinking about it makes me long to turn the clock back and spend that day differently...to be able to finish the day without the relaxing camping experience being destroyed by catastrophe.



Awright, so I'll stop beating around the bush. Hah. Pun intended... We naturally went down to the river bank as it got hotter so we could tool around in the water. The boys enjoyed swimming across the river to a big rock and taking jumps off it. Something I didn't dare try because a.) the water was literally just above freezing (think about the ice water contests as a kid, who can hold their arm/hand/foot in the ice water longest without losing a limb) and I'm getting too old to try to 'get used' to that kind of cold and b.) I prefer my face the way it is, not scraped off by a jagged edge. So we're hanging out, drinking beers and relaxing. The uncle, H.O...of the brothers R.O. and C.O., comes down to join us. Uncle H.O. is an older gentleman, about 62. I'm not sure where his brother H.O. was at this point... There's about 7 of us at the shore now, Melanie and I, the uncle, R.O., L, uncle H.O. and a snobby family of three or four. I won't get into why they were snobs...they just bugged me. Huh. What else is new?

Anyway, we were all talking and I was trying to get used to the water so I could swim across the river with Melanie's boyfriend. He kept asking me to go with them, but I didn't want to just yet. I had more "getting used to" to do, which I doubted would happen. I finally gave up and sat down next to Melanie, telling her there was probably no way I could swim in the frozen water. That's when Melanie suddenly pointed to the middle of the river...

"Is that H.O.?!", she asked in a panic stricken voice.

I'm thinking...he didn't go in the WATER did he?? This is because the man is not only older and overweight, he also happens to be diabetic! I'm guessing it was the beer the helped him decide that it was okay to swim.

"You guys, YOU GUYS! LOOK!" Melanie's frantically pointing out the man drifting down the middle of the river, who was indeed H.O. He's looks completely frozen with panic and is obviously unable to swim. By the time we start to react he's drifted dangerously close to the upcoming rapids. Mind you, we weren't hanging out too close to the rapids...we WERE in a calm spot between them. But if you're not a great swimmer and not wearing a life jacket...

*sigh*

You can probably guess what happens next. We're all on the shore flailing our arms, yelling his name, yelling for him to SWIM! SWIM! as we watch him yell for help. I.G. and C.O., who had joined him for the swim across, are swimming toward him as fast as they can. But they were too far behind. In all the commotion, a few of us thought we saw him make it to the side just before the rocks. Melanie, L and I run up the hill to the campsite so we can find a car and drive downstream. M and J pull up in their truck just in time for us to jump in and tell him the news. We take off down the road along the river, stopping to ask the random people we come across if they've seen a man in the river. Time keeps passing and passing as we run back and forth, up and down... No one's seen him.

We end up about two miles downstream and pull up next to the rafting group we'd seen going by earlier, a little while before uncle H.O. entered the picture... Most of the rafters are over to the side and one of the guides walks up to the truck. By this time we're almost completely hysterical...I'm climbing over, trying to get out when I hear the guide say that they found him and it's not good. I'm thinking he's badly hurt...until I hear the words, "He didn't make it." M, J, Melanie, L and I all burst into tears. I don't know how we got out of the truck. I'm completely shocked and disoriented, devastated...I get a peek over the edge down to the river bank and see a raft and legs... White legs...

Then I'm nauseous, dizzy, light headed...I don't know whether to puke or shit. Overwhelming sadness that's still in my gut today as I try despirately to get through this slow work day. After hearing the horrible news, we jump into another truck, I think it was R's, as he was just about to leave before the incident... We rush back to the campsite to find everyone else...

The rest of the afternoon was nothing short of one of the most depressing days of my life. It's one thing to hear about someone dying...but to actually witness it is something else. I mean, I've had my share of deaths in my family and group of friends, but never this close to home. The closest was the day my cousin died in a motorcycle accident. This was just awful. Even though I had only known the guy for not even 24 hours... We spent a few hours just roaming the campsite in shock. Crying, yelling out in anger, sitting around staring at the ground. Every time I looked at his brother, H.O., my eyes welled up with tears. Kinda like they are now. I can't think about it without crying. Melanie's poor boyfriend, I.G. This guy was like family to him, moreso than his own. I know how he feels, too, 'cause we have family friends that are just like that. I couldn't imagine...

Needless to say, we didn't stick around another night. None of us could stand looking at that river anymore. After a few hours of mourning, hugging and crying, we packed up and left. Melanie and I had driven out together, so after we helped the others clean up, we took off for the long ride home. We got home at around midnight, both physically and metally exhausted. I'm so glad I took Monday off 'cause I just couldn't go to work. I made it in yesterday, but went home early after breaking down in tears while telling the story to the coworkers. I wanted to be alone. Or with someone who'd experienced it. Like Melanie. I went to her house last night for a bit...just to hang.

So uhm...that was my vacation in a nutshell. Very emotional. I can't write anymore right now. I have to try to get a little work done...not to mention eat. I've got an appetite again. The funeral is this Friday or Saturday. Even though I didn't really know him too well, I knew and enjoyed his company in his last hours. I must go pay my respects. I'm onna go get 'em a card, too. Poor poopies. Poor, poor poopies.

*SIGH*

Later...

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Gettin' the hell outta here for a few days...

FINALLY! The last day at work before my vacation! Guess where my head is? Well, it's already gone. Ugh...must CoNcEnTraTe. But first, here are some random pictures from my cell phone.

We'll start with the reason I got a stupid camera phone in the first place. For times like this...

Photobucket
When you're at the grocery store and you put a box of spaghetti, that happens to be open on one end, in your cart. Mmm-hmmm, I was snapping this just as a guy came around the corner. We had a good laugh as he helped me clean up my mess. Ha. Haha.

Next is...

Photobucket
Waiting in the car for Ron while he's in the bank. Oooh, I think I'll take a picture of myself in my new prescription sunglasses! Aren't they perdy?

And then there's an old one of Gerdy the black angel I lost right before I set up the salt tank...

Photobucket
This was when the fresh tank was doing very well. Before the dreaded snail outbreak of '07.

Mmm-hmmm. Going on another little adventure. I'll be sure to bring a camera. We're going to the Kern River again like we did back in
back in July 2005. Same place, same Melanie but a different group of people. We're going with Melanie's boyfriend and a few of their friends they both knew back in high school. Should be fun.

Oh yes, and I think it's time to let go of a friendship. I mean REALLY LET GO this time. I haven't heard from M in ages and I so I randomly text her yesterday...only to get the reply, "Who's this?" I reply with, "It's Jooliepoooo, just sayin' hi. Gimme a call sometime." Then I get no answer after that. I TOLD myself I wouldn't contact her anymore, dammit! Why did I do it? Maybe she'll call. But the polite thing would have been to say, "Oh, hi!" or at least SOMETHING. Doncha think? Like I've said during my other insecure fits, it's no big deal. Who needs her? Especially when she got all bent out of shape when I didn't have her as a bridesmaid. Seriously. How many HINTS do I need?!

Awright. Time to go to lunch with Ronnie. I gotta go! Laytah!

Monday, June 16, 2008

I left my nano in San Francisco

So, this weekend I finally uploaded the pictures of our San Francisco trip. Wanna see? Kay...

Photobucket
The mens bathroom at the train station on the night we left. Isn't that precious?

Photobucket
Some of the view from the long ass train ride there. We left at 2 a.m. and were at the outskirts by about 9 a.m.

Photobucket
*HOOOOOONK!* *HONK!!!* *HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNKKKK!!!*
*CHUGGAChuggaCHUGGAchuggaCHUGGAchuggaCHUGGAchugga*
*HOOONKK!!!!* *HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNKK!!!!!* *HOO-OnK!*
*CHUGGAchuggaCHUGGAchuggaCHUGGAchuggaCHUGGAchugga*

Photobucket
Oooh...old broken pier. Lovely shot, hon. Yes, all pictures courtesy of my hubby the shutterbug.

Photobucket
One of many that will be added to the "Sleeping upright with mouth hanging open" series, to be chronicled here at a later date. I finally fell asleep during the last hour on the *HHHOOOOONNKKK!!!!!!* *CHUGGAchuggaCHUGGAchugga* train.

Photobucket
Just off the bus, before hailing a cab, we see this lovely work of art. I must explore!

Photobucket
*sspssfftsspspseespeespee*

Photobucket
The view from our window at the Beresford. Ah yes, pleasantries of the city...

Photobucket
Getting ready for our long walk on Saturday.

And some wonderful Ronnie shots...

Photobucket

Photobucket

Photobucket

Photobucket

Photobucket

Photobucket

Photobucket

Photobucket
Whooo... I get cold just looking at these again! It was such a chilly morning...

Photobucket

Photobucket

Photobucket
Saran Wrap - The surefire way to keep your beemer safe in the city.

Photobucket

Photobucket

Photobucket
Awwww...lookit tha biiirrdy!

Photobucket
The Golden Gate in clouded Glory.

Photobucket
Customary couple on vacation shot.

Photobucket

Photobucket
The evil address.

Photobucket
Get it on!

Photobucket
The hotel we stayed at, from which my new nano I'd acquired the week before was gingerly stolen from my purse. Or so I've concluded. I discovered it was missing while waiting at the train station to go home. Note to self...write down the serial number on the unit. I have done this with the replacement I purchased a week later. I went ahead and upgraded from the 8 gig nano to an 80 gig iPod...just to help dry my tears. Damn you, thieves!

Photobucket

Photobucket

Photobucket
Some nice shots as we were leaving the city... It was a great trip, despite the long train ride and stolen nano. The meals were fantastic! We had pizza at this little place called "Piraats" on the corner across from the hotel. Spinach and mushroom...aahhh...mouth watering...some of the best pizza I've ever had! And the Prime Rib dinner at the Beresford restaurant on Saturday night was hEavAnLy sCrUmPtiOus!

Yea, my hubby put together a great little birthday/anniversary trip. He's so good at planning things. I need to learn from him and plan our next little getaway. I suck at planning and could learn a thing or two from him!

Anyway, that's all for now. I need to get on with my Monday.






Wednesday, June 11, 2008

The LAST drawing...


Yaaaaaaaaaaaay! This is the one I really can't wait to see colored. It's gonna look so beautiful with some depth.
Well, that's all I have time for right now. Having another busy day here. Buh-bye for now.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Drawing with the birdies









There I am, with my lil' 'ol birdie pals...just drawing away. I've finished quite a few drawings in the past few weeks. I've got one more that's almost finished, an underwater scene. It's gonna look SO GORGEOUS when it's colored! All of the drawings are coming out beautifully in water color. We were supposed to be done by the end of May, but have had to push it back a little. But it's coming, it's COMING. I'm almost FINISHED with something! Yay, me!
Last weeks mood has drifted into this week a little bit, but I'm trying not to let it. I'm into the exercising again this week, that's good news. At least I feel like going out and doing something. This week. We'll see about next week...OH WAIT! Next week I go on a mini vacation! I'm taking Thursday and Friday off so Mel and I and a couple of our friends can head up to the river again like we did three years ago. I love camping! It seems like I never get to do it, it's been way too long again. I hope nothing comes up because I really need this...as I've stated about six thousand times before.
It's funny how when I'm feeling bad, I like to buy things for the pets. Lately it's been the saltwater tank, but last Friday I decided that the lovebirds needed a new flight cage. I had gotten an indoor aviary from a friend last year, but it's too big for the livingroom so that's gone into storage for another place and another time... Meanwhile, the lovies, who adore their flying time, have been crammed in a small cage. About a month ago I'd found a nice, great priced flight cage at a bird store close to work. I told myself I'd wait until I paid this and did that...but I just couldn't. And neither could Punkin' or Pickles. Ron and I picked up the cage with his old truck, 'cause it was too big to fit in my car. The thing is gorgeous...it's all set up now with perches, swings and playthings. The birds are in seventh heaven, flying back and forth, swinging, climbing all over... It's great, now I don't have to feel guilty on birdie-in-cage days. Toby is still in his smaller cage, but that's fine for just him. He still gets to play in the flight cage during out time. Sometimes I close him in there to play with the lovies and that works fine, too.
Well, I'm off to eat something. It's already one and I have tons more to do.

Thursday, June 05, 2008

What a WHINE-FEST

I'm so glad this week is almost over. It's been a toughie. But it's all in my crazy widdle head. I'm downright certifiable! I think I'm gonna go toss myself off a freeway overpass today. Then again, maybe not. There is plenty to live for! Live! LIVE! I want to liiiiivvvve! Does anybody care? No. And that's fine. I care. I care too much. Now let's go finish having a nice day, shall we? OKAY!

Wednesday, June 04, 2008

Misery and Inventory

It took a lot of strength not to just call in depressed today. I dragged my ass here... Wow, what a difference a little epiphany makes. It's like the events of the past week...well, they weren't really "events", moreso things flowing through my ever-tangled mind. I met with the people I'm doing the book with and the discussion we had made me see things at my workplace in a new light. My boss in a new light. And also, going to my old house kinda made me step back and look again. I feel I need to make a change before I go crazy.

Before I contine, allow me the usual disclaimer... Boss has been good to me, has given me confidence, has taught me so much. She's basically a nice person. She is a smart business person. I admire her accomplishments...

BUT...

I am tired of hearing about them. If I hear, "I'm so proud of myself", ONE MORE TIME... I need a vacation. I need to get away from her and this office. I need to see my husband more than twice a week. I need more freedom. I know I have plenty here...just look what I'm doing instead of inventory...but...it's just the Catholic guilt. I feel bad for having these feelings of resentment toward my boss suddenly flood my mind. I can't take her rudeness, her snobbery anymore. I need a break. It's my fault for allowing her to say these things to me. I shouldn't stand for it. I have to talk to her again and tell her I need some time to myself. This commute is killing me. No time to catch up at home. No energy. I'm tired of being a peon. I'm not headed in the right direction. Or am I? I just need to get out of here. I want to go home so badly, but I can't. No...I have to do fucking inventory. I've put it off as long as I can now.

Time to go. I have to post pictures. That reminds me...Ron needs to email me pictures.

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

Overwhelmed

I haven't felt this way in a while... I'm feeling awful. I don't know how to stop worrying. I'm so depressed it hurts. It's weird because things have been fine. I even got to tour the house I grew up in yesterday. I haven't seen those rooms in 10 years. I spent the first 20 years of my life there. Maybe the nostalgia went bad? It's like...I wanna go back. I hate being an adult and having to make all of these decisions, having all this responsibility, having to do all of these things day in and day out, never having time to do what I want to do because I have to clean this or work on that or finish that or work out my fat ass or drive here or pick up that... Never ending, mundane duties that are only going to multiply as the years go by.

What's wrong with me? I'm supposed to want to do all of these things. I'm supposed to want to have a baby. I'm supposed to want to work toward my goals. I'm supposed to have confidence in myself, my abilities. I'm supposed to do these things in real life instead of writing about it on the internet. It's that old, helpless feeling in my stomach again. All the "what ifs" are drowning me. I feel so lost. I have to find something. I know I have to find faith in this hideous mess. I know I'm not alone, but why do I feel so alone?

It's like we're all constantly babbling to each other...on Myspace, on the internet, on the cell phone...yet we don't hear each other. We don't listen. We're too busy worrying about ourselves and wanting others to give a shit, when they really don't. They're just worried about saving their own asses. Everyone is just daydreaming through life. Doing what they have to do because they think that's what's expected of them. Droning on...what the fuck's the point? It's been done before! What do you want?! I feel as though I'm surrounded by power-hungry, money-grubbing, rude, selfish fucks. We're all so busy with our day to day bullshit that we don't stop to even acknowledge a neighbor...even when they're in the same FUCKING LAUNDRY ROOM AS YOU, BITCH. Would it hurt to turn around and say hello?! I'M TIRED OF ALWAYS BEING THE BIGGER PERSON.

I have to get rid of this anger, this resentment toward humanity. It's not fair to myself. I don't have to be this unhappy. It's just always the same the same the SAME and I'm so TIRED OF IT.

Monday, June 02, 2008

BANG YO' HAYED!

I got to do that again this weekend. We went to a sold-out Iron Maiden concert on Saturday night. Ron got us amazing seats, all the way in the front row of seats, right behind the pit. We could feel the heat of the pyrotechnics. It was rad. Like...totally! Hehehe... Bruce Dickenson had his usual crazy pants on, too. I'll post the pics Ron got with his phone, he got some great shots! I hope it was able to get the giant Eddie that came out. It's so cute, them and their Eddie. And it's always a plus when we get a good crowd around us. Shiny happy people. Some of them were a little TOO shiny and happy, but that's fine by me. We were ALL happy an' we had FUN. My neck is sore again from punching the air and banging my head like a hyper teenager. Another great memory made with my darling hubby. My cute lil' fanny-head.

So...I'ma gonna have to start posting pictures of my adventures as of late. I've got SF, fish tank progress and Iron Maiden. I'll have to remember to turn the damn computer on at home, lately I've been a little burnt on the computer. Then again, lately I'm pretty much burnt on everything, but that's another story. The same story... ANYway, I will get the pics soon 'cause it's much more fun to tell a story with lots of nice piccies. That's what I like about blogging, you get to add pictures! Wheee!

Later!