Little tiny Ron

I'm so glad my husband doesn't read this... :p That means I get to sneak a cute picture of him in! He's been going through stuff and cleaning out his storage units (finally!) and came across this adorable picture of himself. I think he was about 6 or 7 years old. He was living in Alaska at the time...THE North Pole. This was his neighbor's kitty and he looks so thrilled to hold it. Isn't he the cutest little white-haired child?! SQUEEE!!!!

I'm so proud of him for going through all of his crap in storage. He's finally going to throw out and donate some things, as well as combine everything into one larger unit so that he can save money on it. We've got some lovely furniture that his mom was storing for us when she moved back to Alaska last year. Since we haven't been able to get a house, we have to continue to store things. Why not get a bigger unit and throw shit out? I've been asking him for years and he's finally doing it. Yay!

Everything is going fine. Work continues (finally got a raise, go me!) and I'm full time now. I also got a new desk at work and it's beautiful. I was working on a hodge-podge mess of a card table and part of an old desk. Now I have shelves and DRAWERS! It's the little things...

Our SeaWorld trip was a blast, but too short. We were only gone a total of 30 hours. It was wonderful though. I have some adorable pictures from the dolphin experience that I need to post one of these days. Ron bought professional pictures they took. They all turned out sweet!

The only thing that's bugging me lately is my friend Melanie has been acting very distant lately. I can just tell... It seems like she is just...I don't know... Bored and irritated with me. She doesn't share things with me like she used to. I can't explain it. We just don't seem to be on the same page anymore. I even brought it up to her in an email, to which she replied that she 'didn't know how to respond' but 'agrees that things have been different for a while now'. Then left it at that. What the fuck is that supposed to mean?! I went to her house a few days later to hang out and it was like we were aquaintances. I tried bringing it up again and she just brushed me off with a 'if that's the way you feel'. She's got this fake ass laugh, too. Something is UP.

I'm going to try my best not to let it bother me though. I think she's depressed. She's never been the best housekeeper and lately it has gotten really bad. That's a sign to me, I feel bad for her and wish I could help her. Yet I don't want to overstep my bounds or be rude. I just have to try my best to be supportive, continue to invite her to do things and leave it at that. But I have to admit that I haven't wanted to hang out with her lately because of her attitude and overall flakeyness. The dynamic continues... Whenever we've got plans I seem to always be waiting for her to get ready or show up. She is always late and it is beyond annoying.

Anyway, I'm going to let it go for now. These things happen. I've got to get back to work. I just thought I'd stop by here for a quick update since the boss is gone. Maybe I'll post those dolphin pics soon! Bye bye for now...

Time keeps passing

Funny... I'm supposed to be writing a blog for my work website and I'm here instead. I must get it done though, while I finally have some time. It's been a very busy summer at work and I've been working full time hours. I can finally afford to have a little fun with my money. Just a little fun though. Ron has been back to work for a while, which has really helped as well. I'm hoping he will continue to work, but am dreading his going back to nights in the fall. I've had him home in the evenings for the past 8 months and it's going to be hard to get used to him being gone again. I'll learn to enjoy my own company (I love alone time, really) and independence once more. I'm not alone anyway, I've got cats and birds to keep me company.

I always have to marvel at how time passes, especially since I'm not writing in here as often anymore. Last time I wrote in here was MAY?! Whutt??? Two months went by in a flash. Before I know it it's gonna be fall again. We haven't even made it to the beach or gone camping yet. No fun trips for us this year. Actually, we did go to a Soundgarden concert last week, which was so very fun. Also, Ron is planning on taking me to SeaWorld in late August. I haven't been there since I was about 12 and he has never been there, so it should be a blast. He's also going to get me in to swim with the dolphins! I'm such a nerd, but I've always wanted to do that. I wanted to do it in Hawaii, but that'll come someday I guess. I'm happy to get a chance to do it no matter where it is. We also have a 'Hawaii Fund' going, so maybe I'll get to see that place some day before it becomes completely overcrowded with tourists and their brats. All I can say is that I'm tired of watching others go there who don't even appreciate it like I would (read extremely jealous). My last boss went to Hawaii with her spoiled older daughter a few years ago and I got to see pictures of them relaxing, enjoying the beauty and even swimming with rays. Then I get to see pics of my current boss' trip there and his spoiled kids swimming with dolphins. GAH. I have to think that it will happen, I just have to be positive and make it happen.

I'm also trying my damndest not to let my art go to hell. I've been so uninspired these days. I wish I could enjoy it like I used to. I'm continuing to work on another project and hope to get it done soon. I also hope it goes somewhere this time, maybe even gets published. That would be wonderful. I have to continue to try to get published, no matter how long it takes or how old I get. I'm too good to let it go.

I suppose I should get back to working on my work blog. I want to get a good chunk hammered out before I go to lunch. I'll try to update here a little more than every few months.

Later!

Happy Birthday to me!

Yaaaaaay! I'm 34 years old today and I feel like I just turned 7. Some of the gifts people have given me are so fun! I got a dirty jokes book and some Mad Libs! Woo! I haven't done those in ages!

Last night Ron took me to see 'Hesher'... Great movie, but kind of a black comedy. I'd recommend it though...well for those who like potty humor.

Well, cheers to another year of being me and accepting myself for who I am. Gotta remember to treat myself right. Time to go relax before heading out for a nice steak dinner with my wonderful husband tonight.

I forgot to mention...

One of the reasons Ron and I are continuing to do better is the fact that he's slowed way down on his drinking. I am so proud of him. He's also quit smoking for the most part. He only smokes when he's drinking too much and I'm so happy to see him cutting way back on both. It's helped me cut back on my drinking as well. We've also been attending counseling together, which is HUGE. It took me years to get him to agree to come to my therapist with me and air some of his issues. He finally understands why I go to a therapist and that it doesn't make you 'weak' to admit you have problems. This therapist is great because he can relate to both of us and has great ideas and solutions. He has been there, as a former alcoholic/addict he knows his shit. He's also been divorced and has been working as a couples counselor for years. I've had tons of experience with different therapists throughout my life, from the age of 12, and I can easily say that this is the best therapist I've ever had.

I'm so glad that he's helping us. One of our other problems was the division of labor. I was doing everything around the house and it made me so anxious. I'm learning to compromise and not worry if things get a little messy. Ron is learning to help me out by doing dishes, vacuuming and putting his clothes away/picking up after himself. It's great, and all I had to do was calm down and ask him nicely instead of doing everything myself and holding in the resentment. I know it'll never be perfect, but no relationship is. All I have to do is relax and talk to him.

I should also mention that in addition to getting more hours, I was put on the company payroll in January and no longer work through the temp agency. Yay! So there is hope... I don't want to have to find another job because I love it here. I also love the fact that it is SO CLOSE TO HOME. It takes me all of six minutes to get here in the morning and I can go home for lunch!

I'm so thrilled that I don't have to go to that stupid damn catalog conference in Chicago, too. Every May, we'd have to leave on a Sunday, usually Mother's Day, to spend three days in Chicago peddling our overexpensive bullshit products to a bunch of snooty assholes. Not to mention we always had to leave at some ungodly hour on Sunday morning. Last year I had to spend the night at my boss' house so I could be up at 3 a.m. so we could make the 6 a.m. flight. Pure hell. I can say I'll miss the bar, though. There were some nice regulars, including the bartenders. I headed there every day after our meetings to avoid spending too much time with my arrogant boss and her equally arrogant friend from New York. I was so tired of going to dinners with them and hearing my boss brag about her spoiled, bitchy daughter who is going to Stanford. Then the friend would bring up his business and his 5,000 square foot house. I had NOTHING in common with those people and I never have to see them again. Hooraayyyy!!!!

So yay me for making some much needed changes in my life. I'm off to have a nice day at work now.

It's been AGES

I know... I haven't had time to post in here like I used to. I also haven't had much to say, even though there has been a lot going on.

Marriage continues to have its ups and downs, but I am very happy to say that we are on the up and up now. We've had to learn a lot about each other in the four years we've been married and it hasn't been easy. Most of the difficulties had to do with learning how to communicate with each other effictively and I think we've figured it out. It's the simple fact that marriage is a partnership and we continued to try to be individuals. We are in the process of working out what we need to do to be happy as a couple and it is working out nicely. The most important discovery we've made is that we really do love each other and our marriage is worth it.

I'm thrilled to report that I finally got snowboarding down this year. I'm not fast and don't do jumps, but I can get down the hill safely and comfortably while actually have fun! I'd gotten a season pass for this year and it was great. My boss had given me Fridays off so that I could hit the mountain with Melanie while she was unemployed. It was great and I learned so much. Now she is finally employed and I have more hours, which are good things but... I'm going to miss the mountain. Next year we're probably going to have to be weekend warriors again, but at least I've finally learned the basics and can enjoy myself.

The new job is not so new anymore and it's going great. My boss is a very nice guy. It's so nicee working for a man again. My old boss was such a manipulative bitch and I never want to see her again. I'm hoping we continue to be busy so that I can continue to get more hours. I'm up to 30 now and it would be perfect, except that Ron has been out of work for the past four months. The company he worked for hadn't exactly laid him off, just told him that there were not enough jobs at the time and that he would be brought back on as soon as there was work. Well, that was at the end of December... It seems that they are looking out for their own, as in giving all available work to family members of the owner, rather than those who actually do a good job. So Ron is starting to seriously look for work and I hope he finds something soon. Things are kinda tight and it sucks.

I've also been pet sitting on and off, both for my boss and for friends. I've decided that I don't really want to make it a business, as it's too unpredictable. But it's very fun to do on the side and I will continue to do it that way, just like I do with my art. Little projects here and there are so fun and I want to keep it that way. I've never been one who likes to turn the things I enjoy into stressful work. I actually had a great gig going for a while... An old mutual acquaintence from high school had me walking her adorable 5 year old lab mix on the weekends for a few months. It would have been great if it could have lasted, but it turns out the dog had an illness that was undetectable until she got really sick and died. She just stopped eating one day. I noticed she was acting really sick one weekend and notified the owner, who said she'd noticed a difference in behavior in the weeks prior. It turns out the poor thing had twisted intestines...or something like that. After the owner took her in for emergency surgery, she died a few hours later. I actually don't know exactly what it was, as the owner was so upset when she told me and I didn't want to press. Plus, I was bawling myself. That was in the beginning of March and I haven't heard much from the owner since. I feel awful about it still, but the owner and I know it wasn't my fault. That dog loved me and we had a wonderful time while it lasted.

I also have a little art project I'm working on with an old friend. I don't want to get too much into it here, or anywhere else actually. I find that talking about it too much seems to jinx it. I'm just hoping to get something finished and actually published some day. I think this will be a great opportunity for that and I love working with this woman. So that's that... For now...

The pets are all doing fine. Stanley cat is almost 11 and Henry cat is 5. They are both such wonderful kitties. The four birds are well and enjoy their fly time a few times a week. I finally decided on a name for my little gecko, too. We call 'her' Pat because we're not exactly sure about the sex. I just like to think it's a girl because of those big, adorable eyes that look like they have white lashes. Geckos are SO ADORABLE! I still have the lovely saltwater tank and recently added a small freshwater tank in the kitchen. It was a 3 gallon but that was way too small, so I upgraded to a 10 gallon in late January. It's been fun, but I'm trying to cut back on pet spending. The salt tank just had a few hardy corals in it. I had to do a take-down and rebuild on it that included replacing half of the sand and removing some rocks. Things had started to look a little 'brown' and some of the corals were dying. I figured I'd just do an all fish tank and not get so into the corals for now. I'm not going to be getting any more corals for a while, as they're so damn expensive. But the fact that I've maintained things so well is the reason the system is still quite healthy.

Oh yes, one more thing... I'm still happily childfree. Wheee! I'm coming to terms with it and trying my best to be positive and happy for those who choose to have children. The only problem has been my deep seated insecurities...feeling like less of a woman because I've chosen to skip the whole thing. I'm trying not to identify myself as being childfree so much. It's just part of who I am and so what? There is nothing wrong with me. I know that if I did do it, I'd probably be a wonderful mom...just miserable and bored on the inside. Not to mention full of constant worry. I'm already an anxious mess about taking care of myself! I'm happy that I know myself enough and have put enough thought into the whole thing to realize that it's not for me. Now I have to be confident about it. I also don't want to defend my choice by saying, "I love children!" or "I don't hate kids!" because the truth of the matter is that neither is true. At this point in my life, I am indifferent to them. Just like certain people are indifferent to pets or fish tanks. So there. Heh.

Well, I'm pretty sure that's it for now. I have work to do and must concentrate again. Boss will be in soon. Maybe I'll be back before the year is up.

Later!

A post for the new year.

POST.


Hahaha. Ha.


Happy New Year. Not much to say. I'm doing okay. Yay. :P