When you're runnin' for home and ya feel somethin' foam...

Owie. I am on the period from hell. I don't think I've had cramps this bad...ever. I was headed for a fun weekend, but we only got to do about half of what we wanted to 'cause I was sick. It started last Wednesday afternoon...I was just feeling a bit queasy and "off". My lower intestines felt like a brick had settled in and wasn't gonna leave. By Friday I felt really crappy, but had to go to work 'cause the boss was still outta town. I worked all day feeling achy and bloated. I went home a little early 'cause I was pulsating hot and bloated. Took my temp and I had a slight fever so I stayed in bed 'til Saturday morning. Well, tried to stay in bed when I wasn't up trying to poop. It's the most aweful feeling when you feel like you're gonna spackle the bowl but only a little diarreah dribbles out. Yea, I tol' ya this was gross. I woke up Saturday feeling a bit better, but still diarreah-y.

So here's the really gross part...which will probably guarantee no one reads this blog ever again...but uh... You know when ya have diarreah and ya really shouldn't fart? Well... I thought I was done. I was standing naked in front of the bathroom mirror, brushing my teeth after the poop and a shower. Felt a little gasser comin' on. Bent slightly to let 'er pass. Well, she sure did...all over the cabinets and floor. Yea. Never seen the hubby run so fast in my life. And it's so fun to clean up. Especially with two cats so anxious to check it out. I'm really surprised I didn't puke... It was awful. I must have sprayed more bleach and chemicals all over the sink, the cabinets, the floor...then I used half a roll of paper towels gettin' the shit up. Ugh... I'm not sure which was worse, the time I sat on the toilet and puked all over the floor in front of me (I was holding out my hand to "catch" it at first but it just kept going and going) or this. I dunno...shit or puke? Hmmm...

We only really managed to go see a movie on Saturday. Went to see the 1R0n MaN. It was good, first good movie I've seen in the theater in a long time. By the way, I hate the theater even more than I did before. We got it all, cell phones ringing, babies crying, freezing our asses off toward the middle of the movie and mister ants in his pants kicking my chair. Ah yes. And the comments. OH the comments. *sigh* All that PLUS ten thousand commercials and previews before the main feature. Yay! We pay through the nose for more advertisements! Wow! It's another fucking new car that looks like all the rest of the shiny bubbles on the road! Oh look! ANOTHER new cell phone! *SIGH*

Sunday was spent either in bed or on the couch trying to recover from whatever the fuck this is because I have a crazy busy week coming up. Boss is back tomorrow, which likely means running all over the place. Ow. I feel so bloated right now it's insane. I really need to go take something because I think I'm gonna explode again. I really want to feel better. Please go away, oh nasty stomach bug and period cramps. Please?

Okay, time to finish up here...I have to stay a little late 'cause I went home early. Peace, love and poop.