Where are your nipples? Over there, alla way in L.A. I wanna nibble on em'. I wanna smell your fuzzy earlobes. I miss you so damn much I can't stand it. *sigh* I had 65 dreams about you last night. I was trying to find you in most of them. Why didn't you call me back last night? I don't care if you wake me, I wanna talk to you! WHAAAHHH!!!!!
Sorry I bitched in you ear yesterdee. I was pisshole. Today is Chicago day. I slept until noon. I gotta get off my ass and go to the city. It was gorgeous weather the last couple of days and now it's hideous out. I don't wanna go but I really should. I wish you were with me.
I had four screwdrivers before I went to bed last night. I was three deep by the time I went to dinner with Edna, which made things oh so much more tolerable. Then I had pee dreams all night. I was looking for a toilet in between looking for you. And then there were the random Mike Patton appearances. I still hadda pee. I'm so weird.
Oh! I'm finally doing solid poops now. Isn't that great?! No more diarreeehhh! 'Cept my farts smelled like gnocchi this morning. Have you ever eaten a whole baby squid? It's like eating cartilage and eraser, but supposedly it's a delicacy. Yea.
That is all. I miss you and I hadda write you a long ass email, even though you don't like to read or write. Oh well. You'll learn. It's fun to read bullshit.
I love you, anus wart.
Your insane wife
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