Oh no, I'm not through yet. Hell no! At least not until my stomach starts behaving iteself again. Though I am feeling a bit better today. Not quite so bloated. Ya wanna know why? Well, ya see, gas has this way of, well...escaping. I knew it eventually had to come out and it chose to do so at about 1:30 this morning.
Poor little Ronnie sat on the couch, completely unaware of the explosions that were about to commence in the bathroom, a mere 10 feet from where he sat. I was completely immersed in a dream when I was awakened by intense bubbling in the lower intestines. Oh those bowels, they're reeeeeeeeeeeeeeally not happy these days. It was so weird, I totally felt it happen... From the lower-mid intestinal section, bubblin' on down to the gReAt BoWeLs. Then the *ooop!* You know the *oop* feeling, the one at the "end of the line", where those wonderful little sphincter muscles come into play. Thank goodness for nature's little 'o' rings, lemme tell ya. They help you make it those last crucial inches to toilet seat safety.
So my cheeks hit the seat and we had gas off. I had forgotten the human asshole was capable of such noises. Very, very grotesque noises. It was like a flappy, gassy stream of words, echoing through the bowl. And my ass has a terrible lisp. It sprays what it says sometimes... You can imagine, I don't need to spell out the sound here...
Wasn't long before I was fully awake and giggling like a nutball over the sounds eminating from what seemed like the depths of my soul. Once again, Ron came to investigate and once again, the look on his face was priceless. Imagine how a person would react when they witness a horrific car accident. Yep, hands over the mouth and everything. I musta sat there laughing and spurting for at least 20 minutes. Oh, but what a relief. I think the pasta and meatball dinner I'd had that evening hit the spot in more ways than one. Ah, but I'm Italian and pasta is always my medicine when I'm ready to eat after a stomach episode.
And that concludes yet another poopie entry by the lovely Seacreature, better known as Juliepoo. Have a great poop!
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