Whoooooooot

I am bored. Fine but bored. My writing is boring. I'm boring. Same old crap. Same old thoughts that there is something better for me somewhere and I just don't know where to start to look. I'd rather be bored than stressed. I'd rather everything be fine, like it is. So I continue to sit here and do my job day after day after day in order to avoid anxiety. I just feel so small and insignificant. What can I do? How can I stand out?

I was reading through some of my archives and noticed the pattern. The ups and downs. And the complaining about the same shit that doesn't even matter. Pccsht! I don't have problems! I'm blessed! Blessed with depression. Blessed with a shitty attitude about things even when they are just fine and dandy. That's a great excuse to smoke and drink! We all know how much BETTER that makes life!

I am doing what I'm supposed to do. I am happy about getting married. It's just this nagging feeling that I don't want to be like everyone else. I don't want to be regular. I want some excitement! I guess I'm way overdue for some fun. *snore*

Ramble ramble ramble. *Yawn* Later...