Friends and Inspiration

What a fabulous and inspiring evening I had with my friend last night. She was in town this week from France, where she had been all summer doing an internship. Tomorrow morning she leaves for up north to go back to school. This is how it usually is with her, I'll see her about two to three times a year and that's it. She is one of those valuable friends... One of those friends that you can be apart from for months or even years at a time, only to get together and have it be just like old times. We met in our sophmore year of highschool during swim team. We had our rough patches here and there, but over the years have formed a strong bond. I can talk to her about anything and know that she will never judge me. Not only does she listen, she gives sound advice. I am so glad that we have kept up with each other. Last night as we caught up on things and shared ideas, I realized how much our friendship has grown. She is truely a lifetime friend and I am so lucky to have her.

I didn't realize how much I'd missed her until we started talking. I love to get her take on things because she has always been such a strong person. She made me think of my problems in a different perspective and I now have some inspiration to make some needed changes. I've been stuck in this rut and she made me realize that I really don't have to be. There are so many little things I can do that aren't overwhelming. Just put one foot in front of the other.

My art is something that I really need to persue. It doesn't matter how long it takes, little by little I can get myself out there. I just have to believe in myself. Don't think of it as a chore or as work. Do little projects here and there that make me happy. Enjoy the process, don't let it make you nervous. Put together a portfolio, something I've been afriad of for so long. There are so many creative jobs out there for a freelance illustrator. That's what I want to be. I don't have to be someone's drone or work for a big company. I just need someone to be my mentor and my manager. Someone to help me organize my thoughts and the business end of it. Most of my problem lies in the fact that I really need to poked and prodded to get things done. It's always the same, get the ball rolling!! It's a very common thing, I know...

Well, the ball is sorta rolling right now... I just gotta find a hill. I'm proud of myself because on Tuesday I started a painting project. My landlord asked me to paint clouds on his blue bathroom wall. I didn't feel like going after work, didn't feel like getting my shit together... Then I finally DID and it was so much fun! I'm not done yet, but I took pictures of my progress and will post them later.

I also finally brought in that cartoon cell I painted...



HAHA! It's a little messy, as I rushed it a bit...but it was so much fun! That's Tady (Tay-dee) Peabird lookin' at a squirrel. The tree, rock and grass are on one cell and the squirrel and Tady on another. I'm gonna do another character on another cell in that same scene pretty soon, too. But before I do that I have another project. I want to paint a fairy for Zen. I drew this at work one day last year. Then I brought it home, colored it with some sparkly pens and sealed it with clear tape. I don't know what happened to the pens, damnit, they were cool...




But I was thinking that Zen would really like this... And it would be so much fun to paint with acrylics. What do ya think? Zen?

I feel good today and I know how I'm gonna keep this up. I'm gonna try my damndest to stop drinking and smoking so much. I know those things are not helping with my mood swings and depression at all. They aren't helping Ron, either. It's time for me to lead by example. We can do this together. It'll be hard but I'm up for the challenge. I NEED the challenge. Life doesn't HAVE to be so boring.