Rager

One of these days I'm not gonna be so lucky. I had a little case of road rage this morning. It wasn't so bad, but the little monster...she came out! Let me start out by stating the obvious... LA DRIVERS ARE ASSHOLES! Well, all *other* drivers are assholes, right? It's doesn't matter where you live. I mean, we all know that. All of us with the patience of a badger, that is.

So I'm pulling over to the far left lane to get into the left turn signal lane, right? Well mister dickhead, coming up on my ass at the speed of light, didn't like that I got in front of him. In the span of about 30 feet, he gets out from behind me to go around and squeeze in front of me JUST in time to pull into the turn lane ahead of me. Good job, Mr. Velocity!! EGADS!! No one has an ounce of patience anymore, do they. This pulling in front of me like you're a fucking ambulance on the way to an emergency just PISSES ME the FUCK OFF. It does. That and the fact that people don't seem to know how to use their blinkers anymore...but that's another story. Anyway, what do I do? First my ears get hot. You know the 'ol hot under the collar feeling? Yea. Then I pull up behind the fucker and tap his bumper with mine. *Thump* Now, what in the hell am I thinking, you ask?? Oh, don't worry, I'm not. Thinking that is. I notice out of the corner of my eye that he's getting out of the car. I start fumbling to get my sunglasses outta my purse like I'm oblivious to the whole thing. He gets out, looks at his bumper and gets back into the car. At this point I'm thinking, "See, no damage prickface, just get back in the car and go on your self-important, speedy way!" Then, before I know it, I'm actually SAYING in a somewhat loud voice *out the window* (but not yelling, mind you) "WHUTeverrrrr, ASSHOLE." By this time, the light turns green again and we go. I'm behind him for a few blocks and then he turns. No harm done. Unless he got m plate number and is going to come after me with a machete.

Bad girl, BAD BAD BAD BAD girl. BAD!!! I like scolding myself. It doesn't seem to help though. It's like, yea...I'm a nice person. But I have a nasty temper sometimes. I get so fed up with the world. I have to keep repeating to myself, "Let it slyyyde, let it slyyde, slyyyyde, sah-lyyyyyydde." Like water offa baby's butt, or whatever the hell that saying is.