I guess it was the fact that I felt kind of useless and shitty that day, especially since I'd run out of pills. Well, I got some more on Friday (huge RIP OFF since I canceled my shitty health plan) and I feel better. No more cotton head.
Anyway, about work...when I returned from my trip I got a huge lecture from my bosses regarding my mistakes. It was then I realized that I really needed an attitude adjustment at work. No matter how much I thought I didn't like it, this was my job and I had to start being serious about it because I'd be fucked without it. That's when I started to get serious, paying attention to details and improving my overall work ethic. It's been almost a year since then, and I've continued to do a good job. I've gotten a few compliments on my improvement from both my bosses as well.
I've mentioned before that I was disappointed that I didn't get another raise at my two year anniversary in May. Now I realize that I don't deserve it. When I was feeling low the other day, this made me sad. I still have some earning to do regarding raises. My boss deserves the raise he got, because he works hard to get business and our sales have improved immensely over the past year. I, on the other hand, need to continue to be consistent. Maybe I'll see something in the next six months or so...maybe not. But I have a job and that's the most important thing.
The pills played a big part in my improvement at work. I was feeling so low and the horrible pit in my stomach was back with a vengeance. I cried on the way to work almost every morning. I had that awful feeling like there was nothing to look forward to. I got on the pills and my mind sharpened, my mood was raised and I felt like a had a purpose. That's how it continues to be...most of the time.
Awright, I'm out. I simply must sleep. I'm still tired from the weekend!
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