America, the

...ObamaNation. Nice drawing, by the way. I knew he would win. My feelings are a mixture of relieved and apprehensive. I believe he was the better of the two candidates, though not by much. I mean, we hardly KNOW the guy. And shit, they'd better have some top notch protection going on over there...it'd better be security up the ASS! They guy should wear a fucking bullet proof vest to bed from now on, if he hasn't already been doing so. Let us begin hoping that he's the band aide for this nations boo-boo. Or how 'bout the stitches for this nations gaping wound? Yea. That's more like it.

Let's move on to my fascinating life, shall we? Well, besides keeping my eyes open for a job and tolerating this one to the best of my ability, I seem to have come down with Newpetneedus. Specifically Newbirdneedus. Symptoms include pining over lovely photos of Amazons, visiting various pet and bird stores and staring longingly into cages and begging a good friend for her lovebird. Yea...I'll explain that last one. You see, this sickness seems to have seeped into the part of my brain that controls my sense of right and rude. Last week, I went so far as to ask (actually, beg) a friend for her lovebird. I took it upon myself to think that I could care for her bird better than she could. I thought she was busy doing other things and couldn't give her bird as much time as I could. Let's just say I felt AWFUL right after sending that email off. First of all, how presumsuous and RUDE could I get? She takes care of her pet just fine and I was crazy to ask her such a thing. I'm glad I realized I was being an idiot and apologized.

Then I came across the adorable Bourke's parakeets at the bird store over the weekend. Ron was there with me and I had to at least try to beg him for one...to no avail. You see, we have no current openings at our place for any new pets, as much as I'd like one. I always have to think about the cage cleaning, which Ron threw at me right away... I wish we lived in a house and I had a large aviary in my backyard. All in due time...aaaaaaaaallll in due time...

*sigh*

I have to forget about it and enjoy what I have. Really, I don't need any more birds. I have to save my money for more important things now, as boring as that is. That's life, damnit. Gotta grow up at least a little.

That's all for today. I keep having to do things and I can't write anymore. It's driving me nuts and I can't finish a thought. Bye bye for now...

Last minute closet costumes...

Not my closet, but Melanie's. I had no idea this costume was gonna be so cute. I tried it on last night and decided to wear it into work today. I needed to be festive. We were going through Melanie's closet for a party we're invited to tomorrow night. She had a couple of random things she'd picked up years ago and this was one of them. I thought it'd be kinda cheapy, but was pleasantly surprised. Thanks Mel! As usual, she comes to the rescue.

I think tonight is just going to be mellow hanging out with Melanie and possibly Tyra. We'll probably hand out candy for a few hours and shut the lights out before the shitty teenagers come. Of course there will also be wine drinking. But that's about it. My favorite kind of evening...boring.

I can't write in this thing so much at work anymore. I'm trying to be good while I'm keeping my eyes open. Don't want to rock the only boat I have. *sigh*

Happy Halloweenies...keep your kitties safe!

Tuesday?

I guess so. Happy to be going through an ordinary day. I just have to keep trying, keep trying. Something will come along.

I forgot to mention last night that Ron and I are going through a nice, smooth spell. Everything is going fine. We've worked through that bumpy mess. He's starting to understand where I'm coming from with the children thing. The other night he said that he would like children, but it's ultimately up to me. If it doesn't happen, he is okay with it. He was very reassuring during this conversation and it made me feel much better, for the time being.

Then there's this job searching. It always brings out the best of my insecurities. All I want is a simple life. I do not want a big, complicated career. I just want to work at a small to medium sized company that does something I'm relatively interested in. This goes right along with my lack of desire for a family. Too many people equals too many problems.

It's become so difficult to care about it here. Have I mentioned I hate what we sell and represent? I can't concentrate worth a shit. I haven't EVER really been able to concentrate here. What would it be like to work somewhere that you actually care about? I have yet to know what it's like. Someday I will find it. I gotta go do some more bullshit for now...here comes the bitch.

The new tank is working out swell...

Some quick pictures with the Mac Book.  Not bad for Photo Booth.  Hmmm, which pictures actually have fish in them?  Two outta three ain't bad.  Little buggers were afraid of the big 'ol light square bouncing around outside their tank.  

Ugh...Now it's time to check the dryers.   I hope to be able to move on with the thrilling laundry chore.

Waiting for the Dryer

My neighbor forgot her clothes in the only two washers in the laundry room.  I moved them to the dryers and loaded my laundry into the washers.  Thirty minutes later when I returned to move the loads to the dryers, her wet clothes remained.  I was gonna move 'em back to the washers when she sauntered in.  She sniffled an apology that she's sick and fell asleep.   I was my usual overly nice self.  "It's okay", I said.  Now I wait.  Like I wait to get out of that office.  Somebody hire me.  Get me out of that place.  Somebody get your fucking clothes out of the dryer!

That's it.  I'm at that spot in blogging.  Where I've got so much to write and am in no mood to write.  I wanna get over that.  And my lazy spell.  I was lazy and didn't exercise last week.  Now I'm feeling it.  Kinda stressed and tired.  More lethargic than anything else.  Oh Gawd, Sex in the fucking City is on.  I gotta turn this.  And see what the fuck is up in the laundry room.  Late.

Nothing speaks louder than the almighty dollar

Welcome to my life, where the shit is hitting the fan. So, I'm having issues with my marriage, issues with babies and just plain issues... Why not add my career to that pile? So it seems that the economy has pushed my boss to cut my hours almost in half. You see, no one wants to buy the overpriced, frivolous stuff we sell. That part is very understandable. However, I can't help but feel hurt after all the years I've given her, all the support, all the work. Friday I received a letter that basically tells me I'm not earning my money. Well, at least she sat there while I read it. Okay, fine. If that's how she feels, then it's time for me to move on to a company that appreciates what I give them. My friends have been telling me to get out of here for years. I cannot put it off any longer. Again I will tell myself, I am worth more than this.

Of course this is no time to burn bridges. I must act like an adult. This woman has provided me with a job and a learning experience for the past five years. I appreciate what she has done for me. However, I can no longer take getting kicked in the gut. When it comes down to it, I hate this company and what it sells. I do not want to represent something that I no longer believe in. Actually, I've never believed in it. Ah...but business is business! I've learned all I can here. I am thankful for all of the skills and tenure I have gotten from this company, but seriously, enough is enough. It's time for me to stop being afraid. I NEED this challenge! I NEED this change! Things have gotten too stagnant. I also need more structure as I seem to be "wasting my time" a lot. Yea. Even though I always get my work done and I've been told by boss that I can fool around as long as I get my work done. Oh, but she's the owner and she can change her mind whenever she wants!

So... Off I go to dust off the 'ol resume and job hunt...while I work part time for as long as I can stand it. Wish me luck!

We had VIP seats!

Like, OH muh GAWD! Guess what Melanie and I got to do last night?! It was like, TEWtally AWEsuuumm!!



We got VIP tickets to see...



...







...







...







...



Are you READY?!



...



None other than the NEW KIDS ON THE BLOCK! The NKOTB wuz inn' duh HOOOWWWSSE!!! Jam on it! JAM OWN IT! UGH! UGH! UGH! Putcher hands inna air fo' the NKOTB!!!



...or shall I say, the MAMAOTB...Men Approaching Middle Age On the Block. Holy crap, they're gettin' OLD. And they still suck as much as they did in the early 90's. Glad to see SOME things haven't changed.



So Melanie works at *big studio* and got these free tickets to see the show at the Staples Center. Speaking of that place, I don't remember what it was called before but... STAPLES Center? As in huge office products store. Yea. Anyway, our VIP suite was located high up and to the left of the main stage. It was a dimly lit room, not too unlike a hotel room, except there was bar seating at the front and stairs led down to some comfy seating and a better view. Not that I wanted one or anything. They had the big screens, backround dancers and pyrotechnics galore. It was a sugary pop teen girls wet dream.

Why did I go? 'Cause it was a social night out with free drinks and free junk food. I'd never been to the Staples Center, either. It was the usual experience that one would have at places like that during a big venue. At least we got to hide out in the more private hallways on the way to our suite. I was hoping we'd only stay about an hour, hour and a half, as the show didn't start 'til 8 and I didn't want it to be another late night. After two beers, two plates of nachos, a vodka cranberry and an hour had elapsed, I was ready to go. It wouldn't be so, however, because one of our friends from high school was there. She was more Melanie's friend, just an acquaintance to me... Anyway, Melanie managed to spot her from across the theater. They kept waving at each other, but I couldn't see her friend for the life of me. Well, they were texting each other and of course Melanie, being the sweet girl she is, invited her friend and sister up to the VIP room to join us. You see, this friend and sister were die hard fans of the 'ol NKOTB back in the early ninties. You know, when all the really good alternative and grunge music was coming out. Goes to show what kinda musical taste that chick has. Barf. Well, it's typical of a boring, SAHM type. *yawn*

So we had to remain there until the end of the noisy drivel of a concert. It would be terribly r-r-rude to leave before the concert was over because Melanie couldn't possibly ditch her frrriiieeeennnddd, doncha know. *SIGH* I did a poor job of hiding my irritation toward the end, as I wanted to get the fuck home and go to fucking sleep. I had to leave the room and vent my misery to Ron on the phone. When the concert FINALLY ended, we had to stand around longer and take a few pics because this friend lives an hour and a half away and they hadn't seen each other in a long while. OYE. I kept repeating, "Patience, dear...PATIENCE" in my head. We didn't get outta there 'til 11:30. I did my best to be nice in between annoyance because...well...of course I understand. It's just one of life's little irritating situations. OH well.

And that's all I have to report for now. I have to get to work on finishing this little cute art thing I'm doing for Ron's birthday card. Gotta get it done before I go home today because he gets off early tonight. Like, dinnertime early. Yay! Let's hope we can continue with our decent coexistance.

Please, sign this petition to STOP this HORRIBLE ACT!

Sign this petition to help stop the passing of the Orphan Works Act:

SHITTINESS

The Orphan Works act started out as a way for museums to be able to display/digitize works that they have that they are unable to find owners for. Now its been altered to the point that it virtually destroys the individuals right to their own work. Anyone will be able to use anyone else's work however they wish. The only thing they need to do is to make a "diligent effort" to find and obtain permission from the work's creator, BUT the permission and/or finding is not required for the use of the work, and "diligent effort" is conveniently not defined, leaving it wide open for interpretation and abuse.

This Act has ALREADY PASSED THE SENATE. Its now gone to Congress. We can not let them pass this. Its a violation of our work and our rights. They're trying to fly this under the radar while the focus is on the economic bailout, elections, etc. DON'T LET THEM.

Please, for the love of all that is individual rights, pass this on.

Oh yea...and the fate of the bad little crab...

I forgot to mention... I found that little red-eyed devil crab who ate a nice steak dinner's worth of fish last month. I kept wondering why my goby and anthias were always so stressed. That little asshole hid, but kept at these weaker fish until they finally gave up. The guys at the shop showed me a picture of the offender so that I knew what to remove once I had the rocks and everything out of the old tank. When I found him, I placed him in a bowl and took him back to the shop. Before we fed him to the resident 12 inch long puffer, I asked if such a small crab could eat such large fish. It turns out that these are mean little fuckers. I'm not sure what kind he was exactly, but the puffer fish sure liked him. We made him walk the plank...he fell in the puffer tank and didn't even hit the bottom before he was sucked up with a vengeance. The fish ate him with such force (in one gulp, two chews) one of his legs shot off into the corner of the tank. HAH! Serves 'im right. So I'm going to have to be very careful in selecting any new rocks for the tank. You can bet I made sure there were no hitchhikers in the rocks I purchased this weekend. Little destructive fuckers!

I wish it would always flow like that

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh... 'Tis a Monday morn' after a kind weekend. This weekend was very kind to me, it was. Rather, my husband was very kind to me. It was smooth sailing and fluffy rainbows the whole way. Ron wasn't the LEAST BIT assholian during the ENTIRE weekend! Amazing...

Saturday we woke up to a gloomy morning. The bedroom wasn't bathed in sunlight, as it usually is. We need to change our blinds. Even when those things are shut, way too much light gets in. The sun rises in the direction that the window is facing. Yes. East. I've learned to battle the sunrise room by getting used to sleeping with my head sandwiched between two pillows. So I didn't have to do that on Saturday. Got to enjoy sleeping in without the sun in my face. Then we got up, showered and dressed and it was off to run our usual errands before we enjoyed a wonderful sushi lunch. I love that it also rained. Shit, good old California weather. It was 85 - 90 all during the week and then come Saturday, it rains.

Our last errand, which we saved until after lunch, was picking up my brand new 50 gallon glass aquarium. We took Ron's beat up old Toyota to the fish store and loaded up everything I'd need to change my system over to the new tank. The nice fellas at the shop let me borrow one of their 30 gallon plastic trash cans that they use to acclimate new fish at the store. They also let me borrow a styrofoam box to put all of my rocks in. The changeover wasn't so bad, it was just all that water transferring that got tiring. Plus I had to drive all the way back to the fish store to get more water 'cause I ran out. The water level was only about 5 inches below what I needed it to be. Ain't that the pits?! Turns out I went from an approximately 45 gallon tank to an approximately 60 gallon tank. I just found a site that calculates gallonage from tank measurements. I didn't realize the new tank was so much bigger! I'm glad I got those extra base rocks for the bottom of my "reef pile" 'cause I had to make it higher.

The procedure took about 4 hours altogether. The first three were on Saturday... Emptied clear water from tank to trash can and two extra 5 gallon jugs. Dug out half of the old sand, as instructed, in order to replace it with new. I couldn't put all of the old sand into the new tank, because all the poo is stirred up, then it sits for a few hours... Then putting it back into a system that's been disrupted just makes your water quality get shot to hell. So, I changed out some sand and got some new rocks, all of which have beneficial bacteria in/on them to help get everything back on track. The tank will be going through a mini-cycle in the next few weeks, where certain elements spike and such. Once it gets back to normal I'll be able to add corals and fish again.

By the time I was done on Saturday, I was exhausted. The tank looked as though a tsunami hit. I just didn't have the energy to arrange the rocks after all that water lugging. That task was saved for Sunday...which was another lovely day. My new friend Erica came over for a barbeque. Yes, I've actually met a few cool people on shitspace. Very few. And most of them live too far away to hang out with. But Erica contacted me a few months ago, she was new to the area again after living in the south for a few years. Well, it seems that we've hit it off after hanging out a few times. She's right there with me when it comes to being a silly goof and loving animals. She also happens to have a cute little critter of the human kind. Yes. A BAY-BEE. I must admit, I certainly enjoy them when they're critters...from about 7/8 months to about 2 years old. I'm thinking she came into my life for a reason. I really enjoyed having her son there yesterday... But did it change my mind and give me the baby rabies? HEY-ELL NO! I just enjoyed revisting the days that I used to take care of my little nephew...who is now 17 years old. I miss his critter days so.

Ronnie was a good hubby yesterday. Good and social. He shopped, he barbequed, he helped clean up. Critter boy just LOVED Ron and his silly faces. Erica kept saying how he loves men. You shoulda seen that little face light up when Ron talked to him. At one point Erica and I ran to the store and left munchkin with Ron. They were sitting on the couch watching football when we got back. So adorable. Yes, Ron does have the knack for being cutsie to kiddies and animals. I'm the same way. Little kids and animals gravitate toward me. I will admit, kids are totally cute in small doses. I was very proud of Ron for being cool and not being all, "SEE? Wasn't that just SO FUN?! Don't you wanna go make a baby RIGHT NOW?!", after Erica left. Good boy. But Erica is a good kinda mom. She let him crawl around and get dirty, she didn't give in to his crying when it was play pen time and especially when it was bed time. Poor little guy was PISSED, but he eventually tired himself out. Just like what I used to do with my little pistol of a niece. *SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAM! WAAAAIILLL!!!* GOOD NIGHT, LAUREN. *click* goes the door...

Let's see, what else... Oh yea, we also got a new livingroom area carpet. The one we were using was old and light colored, making it not so great for couch front placement. I got a nice light brown/burgundy carpet. It's mostly burgundy and brings out the red in things. It's also much larger. I love it. That purchase was long over due.

Tonight is laundry night. I was going to do it yesterday, but finishing the rock placement in my tank took precedence. That and the fact that I had a friend over. I didn't wanna be running back and forth while they were there. How rude. Anyway, I'm going to borrow the work camera and take a picture or two (or 10) of the new tank. Now it's time to really start collecting corals so I can get this thing lookin' more lively. I've only got about 5 or 6 at this point. I also want at least 2 to 4 more fish. There's TONS of swimming room now...and I don't have to bend over when I view the thing anymore! It's a tall tank! But not too tall in that it's taller than it is wide. I really like that about it. Yea. Okay, that's it for now. I have to go concentrate on this thing called "work" again.

Is this a conversation?

So, out of morbid curiosity, I've joined this online chat "family". Yea. I met this chick on shitspace and she asked me if I wanted to become part of this, uh...thing. So I made up an account and joined in. Weird, I tell you. Very, very weird. I'm just doing a little "experiment" I guess. I let people add me, but I don't say much. I never contact any of them, just let them contact me. And I only go online about once or twice a week when I have time.

These people have the conversation skills of a fucking wet rock. So far I've talked to mostly younger types, from late teens to mid twenties. I think I've only talked to one 30 year old. I've talked to about 4 or 5 different people so far and I can't keep them straight. They all have a couple of things in common... They don't know how to start or hold a conversation and they can't spell worth a shit. I try to ask them what they're up to or what they have planned for the day and I get answers like, "nm" (not much) and "nthig" (nothing). Their futile attempts at conversation make me weep for the future. Are there REALLY people THAT DUMB on this planet? Oh my gawd. I don't understand. The one girl who got me to join...conversation just doesn't happen with her at all. It goes like this...

Her: Hi

Me: Hello, how're you?

Her: good, u

Me: Oh, just dandy.

Long pause...

Me: So...whatcha up to today?

Her: nm

Me: Do you work? Go to school? What do you do?

Her: No

Long pause...

Her: I have a bf

Me: Who is that?

Her: (name of some online dude)

Me: Does he live near you?

Her: No

Long pause... By this time I usually get bored out of my mind and just sign out of the shit. I usually don't last much longer than 20 minutes to a half hour.

Oh, and then there was the one who blurted out (well, as much as you can "blurt" in an instant message), "GUESS WHAT?"

Of course I'm all, "What?"

Her: I'm preg (JUST the information I love to get from some random stranger who has no more intelligence than a fucking mossy log.)

Me: Oh goodie. Congrats.

Her: ty

Me: Does hubby know?

Her: no

Long pause...

Me: Are you excited to tell him? (you big, worthless pile of idiocracy?)

Her: ya.

At this point I left. Well, I waited a few more minutes and heard nothing. At any rate it's getting old. It's way too depressing to talk to these morbidly stoooopid people. That's why I prefer blogging. At least here I've met a few intelligent people who can actually form sentences and string them together to create interesting, thought provoking paragraphs. I probably won't sign onto that shit again for a long time. I'm not big on IMing, only have a few friends who come on here and there. I DON'T DO chatrooms. Those turned to shit in the late ninties. I just can't believe there are people out there who form online communities like this. It's so...so...BRAIN DEAD.

Ah, but what else should I expect? I know. Nothing. Expect ABSOLUTELY nothing and you will be okay.

Anyway, I'm gonna get some work done now. Boss is back tomorrow and I've got to do my usual straightening up.

Into the depths of insanity...

Oh no...this story isn't about me. It is a story that I came across on the 'ol innernetus. A story that illustrates the depths of insanity in this world. For those with strong stomachs and morbid curiosity, only... Even then, be sure you haven't eaten recently before reading this.

Now, I (er, the unfortunate sap who wrote this experience out) bring you A Shit Story.

Stormy weather

What a week I've had. It started with the car accident and then moved on with fighting and more fighting. We had ANOTHER fight on Saturday. This was due to my bottling up of everything all week and then spilling it on him like sewage. Of course it made him upset. Then I got upset. Then the world turned upside down for a few hours. Luckily I had Melanie again. She picked me up and took me back to her house so that I could compose myself and relax. Then Ron called and once again there were apologies on both sides. I know... This is getting old and it can't go on. We have problems that need to be sorted out by a third party. I'm trying to get in to see a counselor before November. I have to call the office again today and find out if they found me an alternative therapist that isn't booked 'til November. I'll probably just have to wait for a cancellation though.

Well, at least the week started on a decent note. I got the cleaning bug yesterday and could NOT stop cleaning. I'd start one thing, move on to another, go back to the other thing, start another thing... I ended up cleaning the doors, windows and ceiling fan, dusting the tables, vacuuming and mopping the kitchen and bathroom. I also mopped the porch. That was a can of worms. We live upstairs over the garage, so there's a painted balcony and staircase from our front door. It gets terribly dusty, so I filled the trash can I'd been rinsing and poured it down the stairs. I love watching all the dirt and grime cascade down down down the stairs. Of course that only produced mud on the porch, so I had to dump water all over the porch, too. Then I had to get the mop to finish it up. And once I was done cleaning the house, I still had to clean the fish tank. Aaahh... But it felt SO GOOD to cleeeeann!! It really helps me relax. Being surrounded by clutter and filth just makes me so uptight! When I was done I melted into the couch.

That brings me to today. The beginning of another week. I hope it's better than last week. I'll try my best to make it so. I have to get over this depression and be strong. Everything will be fine. Speaking of strong, I'm gonna go make some more coffee 'cause this shit is weak. UGH. Weak coffee SUCKS.

Edited to add:

I just read Chris' blog and it made me think about the big mistake I've made, getting emotionally involved with someone before we realized our gaping differences. Of course that's one of the main reasons we're having so much trouble. I got involved with someone who has had vastly different life experiences than I have. He had a nasty childhood and has many unresolved issues. What was I thinking?! I ignored all the red flags, just like so many other people do. Now I feel like I'm stuck. Well, I got myself here so I'm going to have to get myself out. Not out of the relationship, but out of this hole that we've dug ourselves into. If he wants to follow me out, great. If not, I'm afraid I'm going to have to leave him in the darkness that he insists on creating.

Okay, that's it. Really. I have to fucking work now. I need another vacation...

Some witty responses for the nosey assholes

I told you I was only done...FOR NOW. Ah, but I've got another coloring project in the works. For now, here's a list of things we often hear from parents, and some quick and easy responses:

When are you going to have kids?

~When I run out of better things to do.
~When are you going to stop being so nosy?
~Oh I'm too busy practicing. Maybe when I prefect my technique.
~When are you going to lose weight?
~When they come potty trained.
~When minivans are sexy, childcare is free and they come with on/off switches.

Why don't you have kids?

~I haven't run out of better things to do yet.
~Why aren't you in law school? Oh, you don't want to be a lawyer? Well, I don't want to be a parent.
~Because I'm still perfecting my technique.
~Why don't you have manners?

It's different when they're your own!

~Yea, you can't give them back!
~Yeah, its WORSE!

My/Your child could grow up to cure cancer!

~It's more likely it would end up in jail!
~Why don't you cure cancer instead of living vicariously through your own kid?
~I'll bet Manson/Saddam/Bin Laden's parents said the same thing.

You were a kid once, too!

~So what's your point? (Keep repeating this no matter what excuse they make until they realize they have no point)
~And I grew out of that stage, too.
~So was Hitler!
~Yeah, and I didn't like kids then, either!
~So were you, but that's not reason for your to continue acting like one.
~Next, you're going to tell me the Yankees play in The Bronx...

Don't you want to hear the pitter patter of little feet?

~No.
~I do hear the pitter patter of little feet - dog/cat feet!
~No. I prefer moaning, screaming and furniture breaking.

Who will take care of you when you are old?

~My pension plan that I've been investing in since I was 21.
~The same people who will take care of you -- nursing home attendants.
~Who says I plan to be old?
~My 20-something lover.

Why'd you get married if you didn't want kids?

~For the same reason people get divorced -- because they can!
~Because I love my spouse and see them as more than a reproductive organ.

The only reason to get married is to have children!

~You do realize that 50% of marriages end in divorce, right? Perhaps kids are the reason people get divorced, too.

Some day you'll grow up and change your mind.

~No, I'm perfectly happy with the one I have now.
~Yea, that'll happen about the same time you grow up and change your mind, too!
~Sorry, I don't plan on growing up!
~And someday you'll get your head out of your ass. Good luck with that.

It's all worth it!

~Good! Then I'll never have to listen to you complain about your kids or parenting responsibilities again!
~What is this, a L'Oreal commercial?

You sound like a sad and bitter person!

~Hey, you're the one criticizing other people's life choices!
~I'll take sad and bitter if it means sleeping in on the weekends and having some peace and quiet at home! Sign me up!
~So what's your point?
~If you were so happy with your choices, you wouldn't be trying to make me feel bad by telling me I'm sad and bitter.
~If I am, at least I'm not passing my anger and bitterness on to the next generation like you are!
~That's "INTELLIGENT, sad and bitter." Get it right.

If everyone thought the way you did, the population would die out!

~Do you have any idea how many people there are on the planet right now?
~You do realize that after you die, it doesn't really matter, so if there are no people left, it really doesn't affect you, right?
~How is this a bad thing?
~And?

If your mom felt like you do, you wouldn't be here!

~No, but then you'd be arguing with her instead.
~Right now I'm kinda wishing YOUR mom had felt like I do.
~And I wouldn't have known the difference.

It's the most important job in the world!

~Then why aren't you out doing it?
~What about the guy who makes your disposable diapers and gigantic strollers -- you couldn't survive a day without him!
~Oh, yeah...the "Leader of the Free World" has nothing on YOU.

My kids are the best thing that ever happened to me.

~Wow, that's a sad commentary on your life.
~Gee, it's too bad you wasted all those years of your life being a child yourself since those years were just a waste of time until you got to your REAL purpose in life.
~I am greatly insulted by this. Have we achieved nothing in the last 90 years? Women can achieve just as much and more in almost all the venues men can. 1920 called and it wants you to come back to the dark ages.

You're not giving yourself much credit.

~Newsflash: Your kids are PEOPLE, not things.

You're being selfish!

~Oh, because creating a human being to amuse yourself ISN'T selfish.
~Jealous?
~How is not creating a child who won't be neglected selfish?
~I don't know, you're the one neglecting your kids while you waste time arguing with me. Some might argue that any time away from your kids is "selfish".
~And?

Children are the future!!

~Well, since most people seem to agree the future's fucked, why put them through the agony?
~That's a scary thought, since most of them are idiots who can't learn spelling or grammar.
~Thank you, Whitney Houston!

Nothing is better than 'new baby' smell!

~You mean the smell of vomit, urine, and feces?!
~You really need to get out more.
~Really? Let's see...umm...oh yeah...great, spontaneous sex that lasts for hours! (see "pitter-patter" answer for elaboration).
~I quite like "new car" smell myself. I suppose I could throw some diarreah and powder all over the seats. NAH.

I knew I heard something rustling through the papers on my desk...

You little BASTARD! Look who I caught trying to get at my water!



He almost got away, but I managed to catch 'im in time. Before he scuttled off to the tree hole he came out of...



Hahahaha! Okay, this is it. Really. It's all I have time for. Boss is gone and I'm having too much fun. I need to concentrate on other things now. Well, when I finish this entry that is. I'm hoping to get Photoshop from at least one of the two people who have promised it to me. It'll happen soon enough, then I can create Peabird havoc at home. I've actually got some more in the works right now, but those'll have to wait. I should work. Really I should. RIIIIIIIIiiiiiiiiiiiight after I finish this entry...

So. What else is new, besides Peabirds on my desk? Nothing. Yet. Oh wait! The lighting system on my fishy tank is new. Now I can keep any coral I want. The sun now resides in my livingroom above the tank. The new lighting system was one of the last items I needed to get. It was supposed to be the last, but now that the light is so bright, I can see every. single. one. Of the little hairline scratches on the sides. I detest looking through all of those cross hatches so guess what? I'm gonna get a new TANK! Yes, I have found yet another thing to buy for the saltwater aquarium. The actual aquarium! Because the old one looks like shit. After spending all this money on equipment and fish and corals, I'd like to actually SEE them. I know, I know. If it's not one thing it's another. And I really regret not just getting a new tank in the first place. This hand-me-down piece of shit looks awful.

I was gonna wait, really I was. What prompted me to do it as soon as possible is the fact that I seem to have a little preditor crab in the tank. Not all of the little "extras" I got with the live rocks were good guys. Heavens no. There's always gotta be a pest in there. I've already killed a couple of anemones that grew huge and decided to migrate all over the tank. I didn't want those little fuckers stinging my fish. This crab doesn't just sting... He likes to stalk, kill and EAT. He's a little hairy, black guy with red eyes. I'd only see him during feeding time, but haven't seen him in weeks since my goby disappeared. So he's been eating and growing during the day. His last "hunt" must have been my rather large anthias. ARG. Of course the rocks provide ample hiding places with all their nooks and crannies. This makes it very difficult, if not impossible to catch him. SOoOoo...why not take everything out and replace the tank like I was gonna? YEA! That's it!

Isn't that fabulous? I'm looking forward to spending half (or probably all) of a Saturday moving my tank inhabitants to a new home that is free of scratches. That's about all I'm looking forward to. I'm kind of depressed this week. Oh well. Like I always say, I'll get over it.

Later.

Let's go surfing!

In answer to your question, Witty, Mr. Tady the Peabird also enjoys surfing at other beaches as well. Observe:



Yes, this is getting addicting. I'm going to try to make these regularly so I can put something together. It's a whole lotta fun, it is. Did I already mention that? Yea. But it is!

In other news, my weekend SUCKED. I got into a beautiful fight with Ron on Saturday morning. It was so fantastic that I had to take off while still in my pajamas. I was like, "I can't take this anymore, I gotta go..." Yes. In my pj's, no bra, messy hair, old glasses and flip flops. I looked fetching, I must say. It was 10 a.m. and I was tooling around the house, cleaning as usual. I was a little hung over (thank you Erica, what a nice time I had with you) and headachy so it didn't take much to set me off. Ron apparently woke up in a foul mood as well. Thankfully I have wonderful friends like Melanie. I went straight to her house, the one that's right around the block from where I grew up. She happens to have a back house that they used to rent out but no longer do. So we were able to sit and talk things out in back. I didn't have to blubber in front of her boyfriend. She is such a great friend. Calmed me, listened and made some good suggestions. It helps that she's going through a tough time with her boyfriend as well. I'm so glad we're there for each other.

Anyway, the fight wasn't about babies. It was about other things that have been bugging us about each other. Things that just escalated. Ron was relentless, which made me yell all the more... Ugh. It was nasty. I spent the day zoning out in Melanie's back house. She even left for a while, as she had to go to a birthday party. I stayed and napped 'cause I was feeling like total shit. Ron called while I was there and we even got into it again on the phone...until I hung up on him, that is. I was trying to be nice, I was trying to be calm... It just wasn't working. So I stayed 'til Melanie got home and we ordered pizza. Then I got the "I'm so sorry, it's all my fault" text and I was able to go home.

Even though we made up and had a decent day yesterday, I still feel terrible. And I'm still kinda mad at Ron. Just a little. It's like yea, say you're sorry but please don't do this again. How do I know it's not gonna happen again? Why don't you show me? I guess I have to just take the steps and get us into a counselor soon. I'm already looking into a referral, I'm not sure if I mentioned that before. But things can't go on like this. We have to work some things out or it's never going to work. Yes, things that I saw before we married are getting worse. JUST like they said they would! Isn't that GREAT?! Okay, I'll cut the sarcasm.

The one good thing about the weekend is Ron got us some great Mike Patton videos. I still adore Mike Patton, a little more than I should... I just can't help it. He's so weird and adorable. Here he is with yet another delusional looking fan:



That face he's making is precisely why I don't want to run up to him with my camera and take a picture right away...if I ever meet him. He looks like he just HATES it, doesn't he? I'd rather have a picture of us having fun together (NO, not THAT kind of fun) at sushi or something. It'd be so much fun if Ron, cousin Mark, me and Mike could hang out sometime. Yea. I'll just keep fantasizing. Time to leave the office and go home. Eh...maybe I'll stop by the fish store really quick. That's always fun.

Stupid, accusatory bitches from Pennsylvania

So... I had the ULTIMATE pleasure of getting into yet another fender bender this morning. Good Christ, now my car officially looks like it's been driven down to almost the smallest end of a drainage pipe. Seriously...I have damage all the way around the car. All damage I did to myself, mind you. This newest adventure in dents is going to send me right to the body shop. And that little accusatory BITCH is going to pay for it. FUCK ME. I can't fucking believe I was so NICE to her! Anyway, here's the wonderfully thorough claim I just wrote to my insurance company:

Dear Claims Dept.,

I would like to report an accident that happened this morning, 9/19/08 at approximately 8:15 a.m. in Burbank, Ca. It involved myself and one other vehicle. There were only two drivers and no passengers.. I was travelling West on Riverside Dr., as was the other party. We had been waiting at a red light and the accident happend as we travelled through the intersection of Olive Ave. and Riverside Dr., here:
View Larger Map

I was driving straight, in the middle lane, with my hands at 10 and 2. I remember being startled by the unexpected BUMP. I'm pretty sure now, after studying the street map, that she pulled into me. I believe she was in the left turn lane and didn't realize it. Please also see this view:
View Larger Map

I pulled over to the far right corner, just past the intersection and noticed that she kept going. So I followed her to the Cheveron gas station just up Riverside. She was on the phone with the police when I tapped her shoulder and asked what happened. Right away she said that I'd pulled into her. I was in a daze and nervous...trying to remember, but I couldn't place it. I didn't want to argue so we exchanged info and waited for the police. I noticed she was talking to some guy, who may or may not have been a witness. I'm sorry I didn't ask who he was, but he was asking her things and seemed to be helping her out for some reason. He did not speak to the police man who arrived to take the report. I feel like an idiot for not asking now... I also feel like an idiot for saying the words, "I'm sorry..." after she blantantly accused me of running into her. I realize now, after studying the map and replaying the scene in my mind, that it must have been her who hit me. I know I was headed straight and in the middle lane next to the left turn lane because I have travelled this route to work several times over the past five years. She, on the other hand, is from Pennsylvania and is on unfamiliar territory.

Please see the attached photos of my car damage. You'll notice in picture #1 that the scratch extends all the way down the driver's side door, starting from where I pointed out her car's bumper. The only damage her car sustained was to the front passenger side of the bumper. Now that I have studied the map and thought about what happened, it seems very clear that she pulled into my car from the left turn lane. I was not turning left on Olive, so why would I deliberately pull into her car? The more I think about it, the angrier I get, because I practically admitted fault by saying I'm sorry. But I sincerely believe that it was not my fault. The following is the information I gathered from the other driver:

Stupid Bitch
1234 Somewhere out there
Pennsylvania
Cell phone#: 800-I'm-a-fuck-head

Lic #123 456 78
DOB: 12/10/75

The cop on the scene was from the Burbank Police Dept., his last name Toth and his badge #9542. The date and time he recorded for the incident is 9/19/08/08:20 hours.

The other driver did not have her insurance with her, but said she had insurance with some company in Erie, PA and had given the information to the rental car company. She was driving a Hyundai Accent, rented from the local Hertz, most likely the one at the Burbank airport.

Please confirm receipt of this email right away, either by return email or by calling me on my cell phone at 800-I'm-gonna-kill-some-bitch. I would like to resolve this issue and get my car fixed.

Thanks very much for your help!

Signed, one pissed off Julie
_________________________________________________________________

Ya think I have a chance in hell? I feel like such an idiot. I was in shock and didn't even argue when she accused me. But after reviewing the intersection on Google maps (which is pretty fucking AWESOME for this kind of shit, btw) I remembered what happened. I was going straight and I'm sticking to my story. The dumbass didn't know where she was going because she's NOT FROM HERE, LIKE 3/4 OF THE FUCKING STATE OF CALIFORNIA. The fuck is here on vacation. And to think I was so nice to her, saying I'm sorry and wishing her a nice rest of the vacation. She just looked at me like I was nuts the whole time. HOW could I BE so STUPID?! Well, I'ma fight this, that's for sure. Now that I realize what happpened. And I don't know WHO that ugly guy was hanging around the scene, he was only talking to her and didn't say anything to the cop.

How about some Peabirds?

Okay, so I've been working on these for a while and I've finally finished a few. It's a lot of fun bringing these silly little characters to life. Especially since I've been drawing them since I could pick up a pencil.

Let's start with a Peabird, well, the main guy Tady, and his "mom'...



Peabirds are supposed to be about this size when they're in our world. However, this is sometimes not the case, as seen in this picture...



They are able to grow some in order to blend in more. Yea. That's it. Imagination is key, folks!

Then we have Tady swimming in waters that I long to explore...



Ahhh...so refreshing...

How 'bout we go pick some flowers? Or the ONLY flower that happens to be growing here...



Teehee!

It's TAY-DEEEE!!! YAAAYY!!!



And there you have it. Peabirds hanging out in different places. Isn't that lovely? And creative? Oh yes. I love creating. Now it's time to go create a poop. Bye bye!

The Stork

Ah yes...The Stork. Not so special anymore, huh.

And thank you, M. I think you put it rather nicely. Your reasoning is the same as mine. I will take them from your wonderful comment and put them here. Thank you so much for your support. And you too, A.

*Ahem*

Reasons I don't want kids, volume I:

1. I don't want the responsbility of caring for another human being for the next eighteen years (and more, since kids are leaving the nest later and later and do tend to come back).

2. I don't want the expense they bring. I don't want the stress. I don't want the germs. I don't want to pass on my particular cocktail of genetic crap.

3. I don't want to bring another human into an overpopulated world and strain our resources further.

4. I don't want to doom a child to living in a world that scares the crap of ME, an adult.

5. I don't want to deal with the noise, the activity level, the clinginess, or the mess of a child.

Hell, I have birds. I already deal with a noise level, clinginess (Pickles has his moments) and mess. I take it from them because I enjoy them...just like other women enjoy children. I mean, I enjoy children, too. I feel like I keep having to say that over and over. I think some toddlers are adorable. It's just that I'm much more googoo over baby animals. I LOVE animals and their innocense. I detest humans and their arrogance. This is how I am. This is my belief system and there is nothing wrong with it. I AM THE CRAZY BIRD/ANIMAL LADY. That is FINE with me.

It might mean that I end up alone, but I am prepared to fight for what I want. It's gonna be very tough. Just when I think Ron is starting to understand, he says he wants to be a father. This actually came up again at the local H@@ters over the weekend. I'm trying to avoid the subject and not bombard him. I don't want to get into arguments constantly, so I've left it alone for a while. But it came up, I listened and didn't push...he said he wanted to be a father. I was gonna ask why but he closed the subject because he didn't want to argue in a restaurant...again. This is why I need a compitent therapist to guide me through this. I don't know how to approach it. We need to hash this out once and for all so we can move on...either together or apart.

I can honestly say that I've never felt more confident about a decision in my entire life. Honestly. People, I KNOW I'd be a great mom. I KNOW I'm smart and could offer a child a lot. Who says it has to be MY child? How selfish is that?! Sorry to disappoint, but this is MY life. SO THERE. *sticks out tongue like 3 year old*

Sorry, end of this discussion for now. FOR NOW.

Have you ever...

...been so into someone that you want to climb into their skin and wear them like a leotard with nipples?  Hehehehe...  I'm watching Two and a Half Men.  I love this show.  It's another repeat, but I can watch them over and over.  I feel the same way about Seinfeld.  The writing is just spectacular.  I love the crazy girl, Rose.  She reminds me a little of myself, of course.

Ah yes, the crazy girl.  Speaking of crazy, I had a consultation with the psychiatry nurse last Friday.  She's gonna send me a therapist referral soon, so that I can start getting this baby shit outta the way.  Yes, baby shit.    I need to get to the bottom of why I don't want any kids.  I feel so alone in this decision.  It's amazing how the world is so geared toward breeding.  I've never noticed it before.  Well, it doesn't help that the subject is sitting on my brain like diarreah...oozing and settling into the cracks.  Mmmm...what an image that conjures up, huh?  

Ya know, I love being nasty.  And graphic.  And gross.  And plain old juvenile.  It's fun.  I dont't wanna stop.  It's true, I don't wanna grow up.  That might be part of it...  Another part of it is the fact that I'm a nervous wreck.  I don't want to pass that on.  I don't want to deal with all the pain and misery.  I know there are good parts but there's still a lotta pain and misery.  I remember it.  I was a child once.  I don't wanna deal with all that shit.  Is that so wrong?  Does that sound like a big pile of excuses?  No...it doesn't.  I feel the way I do for a reason.  There is ALWAYS a reason.  I'm just a little foggy on it .

So the therapist....er...the nurse.  She was okay.  Typical family lady.  I brought up my main issue and was met with the usual, "It's good you think about this now..." and "You'll want to be sure to have all issues out of the way before you have children."  I dunno...I feel like everyone in my life thinks I'd change my mind of the circumstances were different.  My mom agrees with my reasons and seems to understand, but will "still say you'd change your mind if your husband were more mature and responsible and you were able to be a stay at home mom at for the first few years..."  Yea.  Here we go again with the "What if's" huh.

*sigh*

We'll see who I'm referred to.  And then we'll see if we can get Ron in there, too.  We have to settle our differences on this.  It's only healthy.  I just wish I had the courage to get on with it.  I guess I am.  One step at a time...