Tuesday?

I guess so. Happy to be going through an ordinary day. I just have to keep trying, keep trying. Something will come along.

I forgot to mention last night that Ron and I are going through a nice, smooth spell. Everything is going fine. We've worked through that bumpy mess. He's starting to understand where I'm coming from with the children thing. The other night he said that he would like children, but it's ultimately up to me. If it doesn't happen, he is okay with it. He was very reassuring during this conversation and it made me feel much better, for the time being.

Then there's this job searching. It always brings out the best of my insecurities. All I want is a simple life. I do not want a big, complicated career. I just want to work at a small to medium sized company that does something I'm relatively interested in. This goes right along with my lack of desire for a family. Too many people equals too many problems.

It's become so difficult to care about it here. Have I mentioned I hate what we sell and represent? I can't concentrate worth a shit. I haven't EVER really been able to concentrate here. What would it be like to work somewhere that you actually care about? I have yet to know what it's like. Someday I will find it. I gotta go do some more bullshit for now...here comes the bitch.