OH MY GAWD

GUESS WHAT???!!!! Ron got us tickets to see Fantomas in San Francisco on New Years Eve! Who is Fantomas, you ask? Why, it's only one of MIKE PATTON'S BANDS! I GET TO SEE HIM LIVE! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ronnie poopie head really wanted to go to a Patton show together and was thrilled to report to me last week that Fantomas would be coming to California this year. Unfortunately they're not doing L.A., but SF is just fine and dandy. We needed to go back there again anyway, since our last trip wasn't all that fantastic. This time we will be taking a plane. No more 10 hour train/bus rides for us. Anyway, now I have that to look forward to...plus Metallica on December 13th. Ron, the concert addict, sure does keep us hoppin' doesn't he.

I'm so proud of Ron lately...he's been trying very hard to make me happy since our troublesome time not too long ago. Things have been good. There has been a lot more respect on both sides. Lots of talking things through as well. I feel good about our future.

I managed to make it through one of the most boring weekends of my life... I had to work all weekend. We'd planned back in September to sell some of our overstocks (some that we've had for years) over this particular weekend at the local parish during the Saturday night, Sunday morning and Sunday evening masses. You know, it's the hellidays so people are starting to shop. So we set up three tables of merchandise for the church goers to pick through as they filed in and out of church. I was in Part of the proceeds were to benefit the scholarship program at the school. The rest went to our company. We did pretty well and managed to raise a good chunk of money. Too bad it's for selling crap I don't care about for a cause I can't give a shit less about. Oh well, at least I still have a job and am back to making the same amount of money I was before the cut backs last month. I'm still keeping my eyes open though. I just don't want to take anything, ya know? I can live with having a job instead of a career.

If I really wanted to make anything of myself, I could have by now. I guess it's a combination of not believing in myself enough, fear and plain old laziness. I get so angry at myself about it sometimes. I feel like such a failure. There are so many people out there making it happen with their art on the internet, in the movies, on the streets, in the papers and magazines...while I sit idle and uninspired. I know, I've been screwed because I'm just so dumb and screwable. I have a sign on my forehead that says "Take advantage of me, I'm stupid". That sign shows up plain as day when I'm feeling especially insecure. It's so easy to tell yourself not to be insecure and to believe in yourself. It's just so hard for me to do.

Enough with the downward spiral. I've gotta feel up UP UP for my jog this afternoon. I'm going around the lovely park near my apartment again this evening. I'd been working out in at the Y gym for a while, but now I need to go outside again. I still take advantage of the pool at the Y, but I can't always go to the gym. I miss the solitude of jogging outside in the quiet hilly area near my place. I'm not in the mood to look at that guy on the stationary bike, with the blank stare on his face and sweat dripping off the tip of his chin while his legs pump like crazy as he climbs the imaginary hill in his head. Niether do I want to see the dude who looks like a warewolf. Eck.

Alright, it's the end of another rambling, right off the top of my head entry. Later...

Because I had to do it one more time, okay?

I'm on one of those stupid rolls again. I'm trying to practice finishing things faster. These are very simple and fun and I wanna keep it that way. Now I'm going to do real work. Here I go.

Because I had to, okay?

Tady loves Mike Patton, too. Teehee! I liked the picture of him (of course) especially because he's making another silly face. Him and his expressions. Yea. I should concentrate now. Come back here, concentration! Uh-oh...there it goes.

We CAN live with them!

Summer Classes for Men at
THE
ADULT LEARNING CENTER

REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED
by Monday, Sept 16 th 2008

NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL
OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM

Class 1
How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays--Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll--Does It Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?--Group Practice.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor--Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

Class 5
Dinner Dishes--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning
at 7:00 PM

Class 6
Loss Of Identity--Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

Class 7
Learning How To Find Things--Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
Open Forum
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

Class 8
Health Watch--Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.
Graphics and Audio Tapes.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 9
Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost--Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.

Class 10
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.

Class 11
Learning to Live--Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
Online Classes and role-playing
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined.

Class 12
How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 13
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy--Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late.
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 14
The Stove/Oven--What It Is and How It Is Used.
Live Demonstration.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.

Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.

Speaking of Hell...

The baby shower was it. Then again, I probably made it that way for myself. I can't seem to help it. I'd better or I'm going to drive friends away like an angry bull. Typical Taurus behavior I suppose. Gotta yoke that beast in order to move on with life. Keep my damn big mouth shut. Stop thinking about it so much. Thinking thinking thinking. I should be doing something productive instead of slowly driving myself crazy with my own anger.

Hell Explained by a Chemistry student

The following is an actual question given on University of Washington chemistry mid term. Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities: 1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose. 2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'

Another Spayshall human and...other shit

I'm going to a baby shower this Saturday. Yea, it's a really unique situation you see, mom-to-be is going to be a rare 'single mom'. Seems she got knocked up and the guy took off. Can you believe it?! So now we're all going to get together and celebrate this momentous occasion. Another person coming into the world is so wonderful, dontcha know. So special, so amazing, so...so UNPLANNED. My favorite kind of situation to encourage with smiles, well wishes and gifts.

*sigh*

I know, why go then? I was invited, of course. She's a friend of my Lisa darling who I never get to see anymore because she rarely has a free moment to pee, much less hang out and relax. This is a high school friend of Lisa's and nice enough, though quite obviously stupid. I'm sorry, she just is. Getting knocked up by a stranger (apparently, I don't know the whole story I'm just a catty bitch) and moving home with mom is not cool in my book. So I offered to help my poor, frazzled friend with the party because, as usual, she is so busy and stressed out over the ten thousand commitments she always seems to have. This is in addition to a film industry job that is a 'nightmare'...and I believe her when she says that. She is a sweetheart and the ultimate 'people pleaser', that one. Keeping this up will put her on the steady path to an early grave.

I'm glad to help Lisa any time though. She and Melanie are the greatest friends and are always there when I need them. Well, Lisa's there when she's not running around and stressing. I'm going to do a cute little project, outlined here. It's a cute idea and I'm going to try to elaborate a bit.

I have a new favorite tv show called, "It's Always Sunny in Philidelphia". That shit is fucking insane and hilarious. Ron discovered it one Thursday night and we've been recording it ever since. Apparently, it's in it's FOURTH season! I'm gonna have to catch up. Here's a clip to tell what it's mainly about...poop.

Hmmmm, I guess I'm feeling linky today. I've been following this lovely blogger for a long time now. I must sat that I love her newest endeavor, it's given me something to think about. I wonder if I can do some of those things. Very interesting...

Oh yes, and work is work. I've been back to my regular schedule lately, the cut back lasted only a week. I'm keeping my eyes open, but I'm also trying my best to get over bad feelings toward my boss. She is who she is. I am who I am. And so it goes...no reason to get my panties all knotted up.

HOW many has it been now?

Ron and I went to another fun concert together last night. Another metal show and my neck is achin' from all the headbangin' . Let's have a list, shall we? In the past four years we have been to:

~Anthrax
~Judas Priest
~Led Zepplin
~Iron Maiden
~Down
~Clutch
~Secret Cheifs 3
~Morrissey
~Mudvayne

I think I've left out a couple but I can't think of any more right now. They always turn out to be so much fun, even when I don't feel like going to Hollywood. Actually, I NEVER feel like going to Hollywood. It's fine in small doses, but the place just disgusts me. And the tuh-RAFF-ic. It was awful last night because we had to deal with rush hour. Then we arrive at our destination only to find that the concert has been moved to another venue that's about five miles away. I'm so glad Ron's mom gave him that navigation gizmo. It came in real handy getting us outta that little fix. They'd pushed the show back an hour so we didn't miss a thing, so it worked out swell.

Our enjoyment of the show was aided by the gallons of beer we proceeded to consume. You can't have metal without beer, no sirreee. I'm not even regretting it today because I was sure to drink plenty of water when we got home last night. Plenty of water to wash down the wonderfully nutritious Del Taco dinner I ate in a matter of minutes. I kinda got sloshed because I decided to skip dinner and wait 'til after the show to grab something on the way home. So I was drunk and starving on the way home, not a good combo. I'm just glad I didn't do anything more embarrassing than dumping two thirds of my last beer on my shoes without even realizing it. Hey...it was dark. No one noticed...'cept Ron of course. Which made me drape my arms around his neck and laugh hysterically in his face for about five minutes. Heh. Yea. He didn't even have to tell me about it, I remember it all. At least he was amused and not annoyed. It was a lot of fun.

The weekend was also nice. Saturday I went to a wine tasting party that my new friend Erica threw. She works for a wine club, it's kinda like Mary Kay but with wine instead of makeup. So we all got together and tasted various wines with various chocolates, cheeses, crackers and little sandwiches. A lovely time. After that I skeedaddled over to my little 'ol friend Paul's 15th birthday party. I always have to mention that Paul is the sweet autistic kid whose sister I went to high school with. I actually think I have more in common with that kid than I ever did with his sister. He's got social problems, loves animals and his newest obsession is his fish tank. Hmmm...sounds like me when I was 15. He was so excited to get yet another gift certificate for Petco from me, as he was saving up to buy a brand new canister filter for his lovely tank. I also got him a cool little pirate skeleton figurine tank decoration. He's the easiest person to shop for! Ha! I actually remember getting my first canister filter when I was about 14 or 15. I still have it and was using it up until I switched to saltwater last year. Innat sumthin'? Heh. Yay.

Sunday was football and cuddle time with Ron. It was a nice relaxing day during which I did absolutely nothing. I didn't even change out of my pjs. Unfortunately I didn't realize that I was just gearing up for the tremendous headache I would wake to on Monday. OUCH. I don't know why I keep getting these damn things. I think they have to do with mingraine. Though I don't think it is because I don't have nausea or intense sensitivity to light. I hadn't gotten one for a long time... I think it might have to do with all this emotional stress I keep putting on myself. Yea. Have I mentioned I'm emotional? A few thousand times, maybe? Gee, I think that might be it.

I think I need to try harder to get control of my emotions. They rule my life and get in the way. For me it's emotions before logic and that just fucks everything up.

Speaking of fucking up...I must have fucked up my explanation to that little bitch from Pennsylvania's insurance company. They couldn't find fault. Yea, it seems the stupid cop on the scene couldn't figure it out either. All because that little whore insisted that I turned into her. I know I shouldn't, but I fucking give up. Let my car look like scratched up shit, it runs great and that's all I care about. People will screw you every chance they get and I must be wearing a sign on my forehead that's invisible to me. When am I ever going to learn to stand up for myself at the time of an incident? I'm always a fucking day late and a dollar short. UH-oh...the 'fuckings' are starting...that means I'm getting pissed. Here come the emotions! I'd better shut it off and go work on something before I get really mad all over again. I just hope that little cunt gets hers for LYING.

New National Symbol

Yes, I think it makes sense.

Is today already Thursday? In November? Where the hell is the time going? Ron and I are approaching our four year anniversary. It actually feels like it's been longer... How can that be?

I feel like I'm trying to keep my head above water in a great ocean of depression. I start to sink and then I swim like crazy to gasp for breath. I think my heading to the Y to exercise regularly is about the only thing that's helping my mood. The drugs don't seem to work anymore, I just need them so that I don't have crazy withdrawals. I know, I need to continue with couseling. I just feel like everything I do lately is pointless. And it's the same thing...I know what I need to do but I just don't want to do it. Nothing is ever easy. Yea, it's one of those entries again. Must. Feel. Better. I'm gonna go for now.

America, the

...ObamaNation. Nice drawing, by the way. I knew he would win. My feelings are a mixture of relieved and apprehensive. I believe he was the better of the two candidates, though not by much. I mean, we hardly KNOW the guy. And shit, they'd better have some top notch protection going on over there...it'd better be security up the ASS! They guy should wear a fucking bullet proof vest to bed from now on, if he hasn't already been doing so. Let us begin hoping that he's the band aide for this nations boo-boo. Or how 'bout the stitches for this nations gaping wound? Yea. That's more like it.

Let's move on to my fascinating life, shall we? Well, besides keeping my eyes open for a job and tolerating this one to the best of my ability, I seem to have come down with Newpetneedus. Specifically Newbirdneedus. Symptoms include pining over lovely photos of Amazons, visiting various pet and bird stores and staring longingly into cages and begging a good friend for her lovebird. Yea...I'll explain that last one. You see, this sickness seems to have seeped into the part of my brain that controls my sense of right and rude. Last week, I went so far as to ask (actually, beg) a friend for her lovebird. I took it upon myself to think that I could care for her bird better than she could. I thought she was busy doing other things and couldn't give her bird as much time as I could. Let's just say I felt AWFUL right after sending that email off. First of all, how presumsuous and RUDE could I get? She takes care of her pet just fine and I was crazy to ask her such a thing. I'm glad I realized I was being an idiot and apologized.

Then I came across the adorable Bourke's parakeets at the bird store over the weekend. Ron was there with me and I had to at least try to beg him for one...to no avail. You see, we have no current openings at our place for any new pets, as much as I'd like one. I always have to think about the cage cleaning, which Ron threw at me right away... I wish we lived in a house and I had a large aviary in my backyard. All in due time...aaaaaaaaallll in due time...

*sigh*

I have to forget about it and enjoy what I have. Really, I don't need any more birds. I have to save my money for more important things now, as boring as that is. That's life, damnit. Gotta grow up at least a little.

That's all for today. I keep having to do things and I can't write anymore. It's driving me nuts and I can't finish a thought. Bye bye for now...

Last minute closet costumes...

Not my closet, but Melanie's. I had no idea this costume was gonna be so cute. I tried it on last night and decided to wear it into work today. I needed to be festive. We were going through Melanie's closet for a party we're invited to tomorrow night. She had a couple of random things she'd picked up years ago and this was one of them. I thought it'd be kinda cheapy, but was pleasantly surprised. Thanks Mel! As usual, she comes to the rescue.

I think tonight is just going to be mellow hanging out with Melanie and possibly Tyra. We'll probably hand out candy for a few hours and shut the lights out before the shitty teenagers come. Of course there will also be wine drinking. But that's about it. My favorite kind of evening...boring.

I can't write in this thing so much at work anymore. I'm trying to be good while I'm keeping my eyes open. Don't want to rock the only boat I have. *sigh*

Happy Halloweenies...keep your kitties safe!

Tuesday?

I guess so. Happy to be going through an ordinary day. I just have to keep trying, keep trying. Something will come along.

I forgot to mention last night that Ron and I are going through a nice, smooth spell. Everything is going fine. We've worked through that bumpy mess. He's starting to understand where I'm coming from with the children thing. The other night he said that he would like children, but it's ultimately up to me. If it doesn't happen, he is okay with it. He was very reassuring during this conversation and it made me feel much better, for the time being.

Then there's this job searching. It always brings out the best of my insecurities. All I want is a simple life. I do not want a big, complicated career. I just want to work at a small to medium sized company that does something I'm relatively interested in. This goes right along with my lack of desire for a family. Too many people equals too many problems.

It's become so difficult to care about it here. Have I mentioned I hate what we sell and represent? I can't concentrate worth a shit. I haven't EVER really been able to concentrate here. What would it be like to work somewhere that you actually care about? I have yet to know what it's like. Someday I will find it. I gotta go do some more bullshit for now...here comes the bitch.

The new tank is working out swell...

Some quick pictures with the Mac Book.  Not bad for Photo Booth.  Hmmm, which pictures actually have fish in them?  Two outta three ain't bad.  Little buggers were afraid of the big 'ol light square bouncing around outside their tank.  

Ugh...Now it's time to check the dryers.   I hope to be able to move on with the thrilling laundry chore.

Waiting for the Dryer

My neighbor forgot her clothes in the only two washers in the laundry room.  I moved them to the dryers and loaded my laundry into the washers.  Thirty minutes later when I returned to move the loads to the dryers, her wet clothes remained.  I was gonna move 'em back to the washers when she sauntered in.  She sniffled an apology that she's sick and fell asleep.   I was my usual overly nice self.  "It's okay", I said.  Now I wait.  Like I wait to get out of that office.  Somebody hire me.  Get me out of that place.  Somebody get your fucking clothes out of the dryer!

That's it.  I'm at that spot in blogging.  Where I've got so much to write and am in no mood to write.  I wanna get over that.  And my lazy spell.  I was lazy and didn't exercise last week.  Now I'm feeling it.  Kinda stressed and tired.  More lethargic than anything else.  Oh Gawd, Sex in the fucking City is on.  I gotta turn this.  And see what the fuck is up in the laundry room.  Late.

Nothing speaks louder than the almighty dollar

Welcome to my life, where the shit is hitting the fan. So, I'm having issues with my marriage, issues with babies and just plain issues... Why not add my career to that pile? So it seems that the economy has pushed my boss to cut my hours almost in half. You see, no one wants to buy the overpriced, frivolous stuff we sell. That part is very understandable. However, I can't help but feel hurt after all the years I've given her, all the support, all the work. Friday I received a letter that basically tells me I'm not earning my money. Well, at least she sat there while I read it. Okay, fine. If that's how she feels, then it's time for me to move on to a company that appreciates what I give them. My friends have been telling me to get out of here for years. I cannot put it off any longer. Again I will tell myself, I am worth more than this.

Of course this is no time to burn bridges. I must act like an adult. This woman has provided me with a job and a learning experience for the past five years. I appreciate what she has done for me. However, I can no longer take getting kicked in the gut. When it comes down to it, I hate this company and what it sells. I do not want to represent something that I no longer believe in. Actually, I've never believed in it. Ah...but business is business! I've learned all I can here. I am thankful for all of the skills and tenure I have gotten from this company, but seriously, enough is enough. It's time for me to stop being afraid. I NEED this challenge! I NEED this change! Things have gotten too stagnant. I also need more structure as I seem to be "wasting my time" a lot. Yea. Even though I always get my work done and I've been told by boss that I can fool around as long as I get my work done. Oh, but she's the owner and she can change her mind whenever she wants!

So... Off I go to dust off the 'ol resume and job hunt...while I work part time for as long as I can stand it. Wish me luck!

We had VIP seats!

Like, OH muh GAWD! Guess what Melanie and I got to do last night?! It was like, TEWtally AWEsuuumm!!



We got VIP tickets to see...



...







...







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Are you READY?!



...



None other than the NEW KIDS ON THE BLOCK! The NKOTB wuz inn' duh HOOOWWWSSE!!! Jam on it! JAM OWN IT! UGH! UGH! UGH! Putcher hands inna air fo' the NKOTB!!!



...or shall I say, the MAMAOTB...Men Approaching Middle Age On the Block. Holy crap, they're gettin' OLD. And they still suck as much as they did in the early 90's. Glad to see SOME things haven't changed.



So Melanie works at *big studio* and got these free tickets to see the show at the Staples Center. Speaking of that place, I don't remember what it was called before but... STAPLES Center? As in huge office products store. Yea. Anyway, our VIP suite was located high up and to the left of the main stage. It was a dimly lit room, not too unlike a hotel room, except there was bar seating at the front and stairs led down to some comfy seating and a better view. Not that I wanted one or anything. They had the big screens, backround dancers and pyrotechnics galore. It was a sugary pop teen girls wet dream.

Why did I go? 'Cause it was a social night out with free drinks and free junk food. I'd never been to the Staples Center, either. It was the usual experience that one would have at places like that during a big venue. At least we got to hide out in the more private hallways on the way to our suite. I was hoping we'd only stay about an hour, hour and a half, as the show didn't start 'til 8 and I didn't want it to be another late night. After two beers, two plates of nachos, a vodka cranberry and an hour had elapsed, I was ready to go. It wouldn't be so, however, because one of our friends from high school was there. She was more Melanie's friend, just an acquaintance to me... Anyway, Melanie managed to spot her from across the theater. They kept waving at each other, but I couldn't see her friend for the life of me. Well, they were texting each other and of course Melanie, being the sweet girl she is, invited her friend and sister up to the VIP room to join us. You see, this friend and sister were die hard fans of the 'ol NKOTB back in the early ninties. You know, when all the really good alternative and grunge music was coming out. Goes to show what kinda musical taste that chick has. Barf. Well, it's typical of a boring, SAHM type. *yawn*

So we had to remain there until the end of the noisy drivel of a concert. It would be terribly r-r-rude to leave before the concert was over because Melanie couldn't possibly ditch her frrriiieeeennnddd, doncha know. *SIGH* I did a poor job of hiding my irritation toward the end, as I wanted to get the fuck home and go to fucking sleep. I had to leave the room and vent my misery to Ron on the phone. When the concert FINALLY ended, we had to stand around longer and take a few pics because this friend lives an hour and a half away and they hadn't seen each other in a long while. OYE. I kept repeating, "Patience, dear...PATIENCE" in my head. We didn't get outta there 'til 11:30. I did my best to be nice in between annoyance because...well...of course I understand. It's just one of life's little irritating situations. OH well.

And that's all I have to report for now. I have to get to work on finishing this little cute art thing I'm doing for Ron's birthday card. Gotta get it done before I go home today because he gets off early tonight. Like, dinnertime early. Yay! Let's hope we can continue with our decent coexistance.

Please, sign this petition to STOP this HORRIBLE ACT!

Sign this petition to help stop the passing of the Orphan Works Act:

SHITTINESS

The Orphan Works act started out as a way for museums to be able to display/digitize works that they have that they are unable to find owners for. Now its been altered to the point that it virtually destroys the individuals right to their own work. Anyone will be able to use anyone else's work however they wish. The only thing they need to do is to make a "diligent effort" to find and obtain permission from the work's creator, BUT the permission and/or finding is not required for the use of the work, and "diligent effort" is conveniently not defined, leaving it wide open for interpretation and abuse.

This Act has ALREADY PASSED THE SENATE. Its now gone to Congress. We can not let them pass this. Its a violation of our work and our rights. They're trying to fly this under the radar while the focus is on the economic bailout, elections, etc. DON'T LET THEM.

Please, for the love of all that is individual rights, pass this on.

Oh yea...and the fate of the bad little crab...

I forgot to mention... I found that little red-eyed devil crab who ate a nice steak dinner's worth of fish last month. I kept wondering why my goby and anthias were always so stressed. That little asshole hid, but kept at these weaker fish until they finally gave up. The guys at the shop showed me a picture of the offender so that I knew what to remove once I had the rocks and everything out of the old tank. When I found him, I placed him in a bowl and took him back to the shop. Before we fed him to the resident 12 inch long puffer, I asked if such a small crab could eat such large fish. It turns out that these are mean little fuckers. I'm not sure what kind he was exactly, but the puffer fish sure liked him. We made him walk the plank...he fell in the puffer tank and didn't even hit the bottom before he was sucked up with a vengeance. The fish ate him with such force (in one gulp, two chews) one of his legs shot off into the corner of the tank. HAH! Serves 'im right. So I'm going to have to be very careful in selecting any new rocks for the tank. You can bet I made sure there were no hitchhikers in the rocks I purchased this weekend. Little destructive fuckers!

I wish it would always flow like that

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh... 'Tis a Monday morn' after a kind weekend. This weekend was very kind to me, it was. Rather, my husband was very kind to me. It was smooth sailing and fluffy rainbows the whole way. Ron wasn't the LEAST BIT assholian during the ENTIRE weekend! Amazing...

Saturday we woke up to a gloomy morning. The bedroom wasn't bathed in sunlight, as it usually is. We need to change our blinds. Even when those things are shut, way too much light gets in. The sun rises in the direction that the window is facing. Yes. East. I've learned to battle the sunrise room by getting used to sleeping with my head sandwiched between two pillows. So I didn't have to do that on Saturday. Got to enjoy sleeping in without the sun in my face. Then we got up, showered and dressed and it was off to run our usual errands before we enjoyed a wonderful sushi lunch. I love that it also rained. Shit, good old California weather. It was 85 - 90 all during the week and then come Saturday, it rains.

Our last errand, which we saved until after lunch, was picking up my brand new 50 gallon glass aquarium. We took Ron's beat up old Toyota to the fish store and loaded up everything I'd need to change my system over to the new tank. The nice fellas at the shop let me borrow one of their 30 gallon plastic trash cans that they use to acclimate new fish at the store. They also let me borrow a styrofoam box to put all of my rocks in. The changeover wasn't so bad, it was just all that water transferring that got tiring. Plus I had to drive all the way back to the fish store to get more water 'cause I ran out. The water level was only about 5 inches below what I needed it to be. Ain't that the pits?! Turns out I went from an approximately 45 gallon tank to an approximately 60 gallon tank. I just found a site that calculates gallonage from tank measurements. I didn't realize the new tank was so much bigger! I'm glad I got those extra base rocks for the bottom of my "reef pile" 'cause I had to make it higher.

The procedure took about 4 hours altogether. The first three were on Saturday... Emptied clear water from tank to trash can and two extra 5 gallon jugs. Dug out half of the old sand, as instructed, in order to replace it with new. I couldn't put all of the old sand into the new tank, because all the poo is stirred up, then it sits for a few hours... Then putting it back into a system that's been disrupted just makes your water quality get shot to hell. So, I changed out some sand and got some new rocks, all of which have beneficial bacteria in/on them to help get everything back on track. The tank will be going through a mini-cycle in the next few weeks, where certain elements spike and such. Once it gets back to normal I'll be able to add corals and fish again.

By the time I was done on Saturday, I was exhausted. The tank looked as though a tsunami hit. I just didn't have the energy to arrange the rocks after all that water lugging. That task was saved for Sunday...which was another lovely day. My new friend Erica came over for a barbeque. Yes, I've actually met a few cool people on shitspace. Very few. And most of them live too far away to hang out with. But Erica contacted me a few months ago, she was new to the area again after living in the south for a few years. Well, it seems that we've hit it off after hanging out a few times. She's right there with me when it comes to being a silly goof and loving animals. She also happens to have a cute little critter of the human kind. Yes. A BAY-BEE. I must admit, I certainly enjoy them when they're critters...from about 7/8 months to about 2 years old. I'm thinking she came into my life for a reason. I really enjoyed having her son there yesterday... But did it change my mind and give me the baby rabies? HEY-ELL NO! I just enjoyed revisting the days that I used to take care of my little nephew...who is now 17 years old. I miss his critter days so.

Ronnie was a good hubby yesterday. Good and social. He shopped, he barbequed, he helped clean up. Critter boy just LOVED Ron and his silly faces. Erica kept saying how he loves men. You shoulda seen that little face light up when Ron talked to him. At one point Erica and I ran to the store and left munchkin with Ron. They were sitting on the couch watching football when we got back. So adorable. Yes, Ron does have the knack for being cutsie to kiddies and animals. I'm the same way. Little kids and animals gravitate toward me. I will admit, kids are totally cute in small doses. I was very proud of Ron for being cool and not being all, "SEE? Wasn't that just SO FUN?! Don't you wanna go make a baby RIGHT NOW?!", after Erica left. Good boy. But Erica is a good kinda mom. She let him crawl around and get dirty, she didn't give in to his crying when it was play pen time and especially when it was bed time. Poor little guy was PISSED, but he eventually tired himself out. Just like what I used to do with my little pistol of a niece. *SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAM! WAAAAIILLL!!!* GOOD NIGHT, LAUREN. *click* goes the door...

Let's see, what else... Oh yea, we also got a new livingroom area carpet. The one we were using was old and light colored, making it not so great for couch front placement. I got a nice light brown/burgundy carpet. It's mostly burgundy and brings out the red in things. It's also much larger. I love it. That purchase was long over due.

Tonight is laundry night. I was going to do it yesterday, but finishing the rock placement in my tank took precedence. That and the fact that I had a friend over. I didn't wanna be running back and forth while they were there. How rude. Anyway, I'm going to borrow the work camera and take a picture or two (or 10) of the new tank. Now it's time to really start collecting corals so I can get this thing lookin' more lively. I've only got about 5 or 6 at this point. I also want at least 2 to 4 more fish. There's TONS of swimming room now...and I don't have to bend over when I view the thing anymore! It's a tall tank! But not too tall in that it's taller than it is wide. I really like that about it. Yea. Okay, that's it for now. I have to go concentrate on this thing called "work" again.

Is this a conversation?

So, out of morbid curiosity, I've joined this online chat "family". Yea. I met this chick on shitspace and she asked me if I wanted to become part of this, uh...thing. So I made up an account and joined in. Weird, I tell you. Very, very weird. I'm just doing a little "experiment" I guess. I let people add me, but I don't say much. I never contact any of them, just let them contact me. And I only go online about once or twice a week when I have time.

These people have the conversation skills of a fucking wet rock. So far I've talked to mostly younger types, from late teens to mid twenties. I think I've only talked to one 30 year old. I've talked to about 4 or 5 different people so far and I can't keep them straight. They all have a couple of things in common... They don't know how to start or hold a conversation and they can't spell worth a shit. I try to ask them what they're up to or what they have planned for the day and I get answers like, "nm" (not much) and "nthig" (nothing). Their futile attempts at conversation make me weep for the future. Are there REALLY people THAT DUMB on this planet? Oh my gawd. I don't understand. The one girl who got me to join...conversation just doesn't happen with her at all. It goes like this...

Her: Hi

Me: Hello, how're you?

Her: good, u

Me: Oh, just dandy.

Long pause...

Me: So...whatcha up to today?

Her: nm

Me: Do you work? Go to school? What do you do?

Her: No

Long pause...

Her: I have a bf

Me: Who is that?

Her: (name of some online dude)

Me: Does he live near you?

Her: No

Long pause... By this time I usually get bored out of my mind and just sign out of the shit. I usually don't last much longer than 20 minutes to a half hour.

Oh, and then there was the one who blurted out (well, as much as you can "blurt" in an instant message), "GUESS WHAT?"

Of course I'm all, "What?"

Her: I'm preg (JUST the information I love to get from some random stranger who has no more intelligence than a fucking mossy log.)

Me: Oh goodie. Congrats.

Her: ty

Me: Does hubby know?

Her: no

Long pause...

Me: Are you excited to tell him? (you big, worthless pile of idiocracy?)

Her: ya.

At this point I left. Well, I waited a few more minutes and heard nothing. At any rate it's getting old. It's way too depressing to talk to these morbidly stoooopid people. That's why I prefer blogging. At least here I've met a few intelligent people who can actually form sentences and string them together to create interesting, thought provoking paragraphs. I probably won't sign onto that shit again for a long time. I'm not big on IMing, only have a few friends who come on here and there. I DON'T DO chatrooms. Those turned to shit in the late ninties. I just can't believe there are people out there who form online communities like this. It's so...so...BRAIN DEAD.

Ah, but what else should I expect? I know. Nothing. Expect ABSOLUTELY nothing and you will be okay.

Anyway, I'm gonna get some work done now. Boss is back tomorrow and I've got to do my usual straightening up.

Into the depths of insanity...

Oh no...this story isn't about me. It is a story that I came across on the 'ol innernetus. A story that illustrates the depths of insanity in this world. For those with strong stomachs and morbid curiosity, only... Even then, be sure you haven't eaten recently before reading this.

Now, I (er, the unfortunate sap who wrote this experience out) bring you A Shit Story.

Stormy weather

What a week I've had. It started with the car accident and then moved on with fighting and more fighting. We had ANOTHER fight on Saturday. This was due to my bottling up of everything all week and then spilling it on him like sewage. Of course it made him upset. Then I got upset. Then the world turned upside down for a few hours. Luckily I had Melanie again. She picked me up and took me back to her house so that I could compose myself and relax. Then Ron called and once again there were apologies on both sides. I know... This is getting old and it can't go on. We have problems that need to be sorted out by a third party. I'm trying to get in to see a counselor before November. I have to call the office again today and find out if they found me an alternative therapist that isn't booked 'til November. I'll probably just have to wait for a cancellation though.

Well, at least the week started on a decent note. I got the cleaning bug yesterday and could NOT stop cleaning. I'd start one thing, move on to another, go back to the other thing, start another thing... I ended up cleaning the doors, windows and ceiling fan, dusting the tables, vacuuming and mopping the kitchen and bathroom. I also mopped the porch. That was a can of worms. We live upstairs over the garage, so there's a painted balcony and staircase from our front door. It gets terribly dusty, so I filled the trash can I'd been rinsing and poured it down the stairs. I love watching all the dirt and grime cascade down down down the stairs. Of course that only produced mud on the porch, so I had to dump water all over the porch, too. Then I had to get the mop to finish it up. And once I was done cleaning the house, I still had to clean the fish tank. Aaahh... But it felt SO GOOD to cleeeeann!! It really helps me relax. Being surrounded by clutter and filth just makes me so uptight! When I was done I melted into the couch.

That brings me to today. The beginning of another week. I hope it's better than last week. I'll try my best to make it so. I have to get over this depression and be strong. Everything will be fine. Speaking of strong, I'm gonna go make some more coffee 'cause this shit is weak. UGH. Weak coffee SUCKS.

Edited to add:

I just read Chris' blog and it made me think about the big mistake I've made, getting emotionally involved with someone before we realized our gaping differences. Of course that's one of the main reasons we're having so much trouble. I got involved with someone who has had vastly different life experiences than I have. He had a nasty childhood and has many unresolved issues. What was I thinking?! I ignored all the red flags, just like so many other people do. Now I feel like I'm stuck. Well, I got myself here so I'm going to have to get myself out. Not out of the relationship, but out of this hole that we've dug ourselves into. If he wants to follow me out, great. If not, I'm afraid I'm going to have to leave him in the darkness that he insists on creating.

Okay, that's it. Really. I have to fucking work now. I need another vacation...

Some witty responses for the nosey assholes

I told you I was only done...FOR NOW. Ah, but I've got another coloring project in the works. For now, here's a list of things we often hear from parents, and some quick and easy responses:

When are you going to have kids?

~When I run out of better things to do.
~When are you going to stop being so nosy?
~Oh I'm too busy practicing. Maybe when I prefect my technique.
~When are you going to lose weight?
~When they come potty trained.
~When minivans are sexy, childcare is free and they come with on/off switches.

Why don't you have kids?

~I haven't run out of better things to do yet.
~Why aren't you in law school? Oh, you don't want to be a lawyer? Well, I don't want to be a parent.
~Because I'm still perfecting my technique.
~Why don't you have manners?

It's different when they're your own!

~Yea, you can't give them back!
~Yeah, its WORSE!

My/Your child could grow up to cure cancer!

~It's more likely it would end up in jail!
~Why don't you cure cancer instead of living vicariously through your own kid?
~I'll bet Manson/Saddam/Bin Laden's parents said the same thing.

You were a kid once, too!

~So what's your point? (Keep repeating this no matter what excuse they make until they realize they have no point)
~And I grew out of that stage, too.
~So was Hitler!
~Yeah, and I didn't like kids then, either!
~So were you, but that's not reason for your to continue acting like one.
~Next, you're going to tell me the Yankees play in The Bronx...

Don't you want to hear the pitter patter of little feet?

~No.
~I do hear the pitter patter of little feet - dog/cat feet!
~No. I prefer moaning, screaming and furniture breaking.

Who will take care of you when you are old?

~My pension plan that I've been investing in since I was 21.
~The same people who will take care of you -- nursing home attendants.
~Who says I plan to be old?
~My 20-something lover.

Why'd you get married if you didn't want kids?

~For the same reason people get divorced -- because they can!
~Because I love my spouse and see them as more than a reproductive organ.

The only reason to get married is to have children!

~You do realize that 50% of marriages end in divorce, right? Perhaps kids are the reason people get divorced, too.

Some day you'll grow up and change your mind.

~No, I'm perfectly happy with the one I have now.
~Yea, that'll happen about the same time you grow up and change your mind, too!
~Sorry, I don't plan on growing up!
~And someday you'll get your head out of your ass. Good luck with that.

It's all worth it!

~Good! Then I'll never have to listen to you complain about your kids or parenting responsibilities again!
~What is this, a L'Oreal commercial?

You sound like a sad and bitter person!

~Hey, you're the one criticizing other people's life choices!
~I'll take sad and bitter if it means sleeping in on the weekends and having some peace and quiet at home! Sign me up!
~So what's your point?
~If you were so happy with your choices, you wouldn't be trying to make me feel bad by telling me I'm sad and bitter.
~If I am, at least I'm not passing my anger and bitterness on to the next generation like you are!
~That's "INTELLIGENT, sad and bitter." Get it right.

If everyone thought the way you did, the population would die out!

~Do you have any idea how many people there are on the planet right now?
~You do realize that after you die, it doesn't really matter, so if there are no people left, it really doesn't affect you, right?
~How is this a bad thing?
~And?

If your mom felt like you do, you wouldn't be here!

~No, but then you'd be arguing with her instead.
~Right now I'm kinda wishing YOUR mom had felt like I do.
~And I wouldn't have known the difference.

It's the most important job in the world!

~Then why aren't you out doing it?
~What about the guy who makes your disposable diapers and gigantic strollers -- you couldn't survive a day without him!
~Oh, yeah...the "Leader of the Free World" has nothing on YOU.

My kids are the best thing that ever happened to me.

~Wow, that's a sad commentary on your life.
~Gee, it's too bad you wasted all those years of your life being a child yourself since those years were just a waste of time until you got to your REAL purpose in life.
~I am greatly insulted by this. Have we achieved nothing in the last 90 years? Women can achieve just as much and more in almost all the venues men can. 1920 called and it wants you to come back to the dark ages.

You're not giving yourself much credit.

~Newsflash: Your kids are PEOPLE, not things.

You're being selfish!

~Oh, because creating a human being to amuse yourself ISN'T selfish.
~Jealous?
~How is not creating a child who won't be neglected selfish?
~I don't know, you're the one neglecting your kids while you waste time arguing with me. Some might argue that any time away from your kids is "selfish".
~And?

Children are the future!!

~Well, since most people seem to agree the future's fucked, why put them through the agony?
~That's a scary thought, since most of them are idiots who can't learn spelling or grammar.
~Thank you, Whitney Houston!

Nothing is better than 'new baby' smell!

~You mean the smell of vomit, urine, and feces?!
~You really need to get out more.
~Really? Let's see...umm...oh yeah...great, spontaneous sex that lasts for hours! (see "pitter-patter" answer for elaboration).
~I quite like "new car" smell myself. I suppose I could throw some diarreah and powder all over the seats. NAH.

I knew I heard something rustling through the papers on my desk...

You little BASTARD! Look who I caught trying to get at my water!



He almost got away, but I managed to catch 'im in time. Before he scuttled off to the tree hole he came out of...



Hahahaha! Okay, this is it. Really. It's all I have time for. Boss is gone and I'm having too much fun. I need to concentrate on other things now. Well, when I finish this entry that is. I'm hoping to get Photoshop from at least one of the two people who have promised it to me. It'll happen soon enough, then I can create Peabird havoc at home. I've actually got some more in the works right now, but those'll have to wait. I should work. Really I should. RIIIIIIIIiiiiiiiiiiiight after I finish this entry...

So. What else is new, besides Peabirds on my desk? Nothing. Yet. Oh wait! The lighting system on my fishy tank is new. Now I can keep any coral I want. The sun now resides in my livingroom above the tank. The new lighting system was one of the last items I needed to get. It was supposed to be the last, but now that the light is so bright, I can see every. single. one. Of the little hairline scratches on the sides. I detest looking through all of those cross hatches so guess what? I'm gonna get a new TANK! Yes, I have found yet another thing to buy for the saltwater aquarium. The actual aquarium! Because the old one looks like shit. After spending all this money on equipment and fish and corals, I'd like to actually SEE them. I know, I know. If it's not one thing it's another. And I really regret not just getting a new tank in the first place. This hand-me-down piece of shit looks awful.

I was gonna wait, really I was. What prompted me to do it as soon as possible is the fact that I seem to have a little preditor crab in the tank. Not all of the little "extras" I got with the live rocks were good guys. Heavens no. There's always gotta be a pest in there. I've already killed a couple of anemones that grew huge and decided to migrate all over the tank. I didn't want those little fuckers stinging my fish. This crab doesn't just sting... He likes to stalk, kill and EAT. He's a little hairy, black guy with red eyes. I'd only see him during feeding time, but haven't seen him in weeks since my goby disappeared. So he's been eating and growing during the day. His last "hunt" must have been my rather large anthias. ARG. Of course the rocks provide ample hiding places with all their nooks and crannies. This makes it very difficult, if not impossible to catch him. SOoOoo...why not take everything out and replace the tank like I was gonna? YEA! That's it!

Isn't that fabulous? I'm looking forward to spending half (or probably all) of a Saturday moving my tank inhabitants to a new home that is free of scratches. That's about all I'm looking forward to. I'm kind of depressed this week. Oh well. Like I always say, I'll get over it.

Later.

Let's go surfing!

In answer to your question, Witty, Mr. Tady the Peabird also enjoys surfing at other beaches as well. Observe:



Yes, this is getting addicting. I'm going to try to make these regularly so I can put something together. It's a whole lotta fun, it is. Did I already mention that? Yea. But it is!

In other news, my weekend SUCKED. I got into a beautiful fight with Ron on Saturday morning. It was so fantastic that I had to take off while still in my pajamas. I was like, "I can't take this anymore, I gotta go..." Yes. In my pj's, no bra, messy hair, old glasses and flip flops. I looked fetching, I must say. It was 10 a.m. and I was tooling around the house, cleaning as usual. I was a little hung over (thank you Erica, what a nice time I had with you) and headachy so it didn't take much to set me off. Ron apparently woke up in a foul mood as well. Thankfully I have wonderful friends like Melanie. I went straight to her house, the one that's right around the block from where I grew up. She happens to have a back house that they used to rent out but no longer do. So we were able to sit and talk things out in back. I didn't have to blubber in front of her boyfriend. She is such a great friend. Calmed me, listened and made some good suggestions. It helps that she's going through a tough time with her boyfriend as well. I'm so glad we're there for each other.

Anyway, the fight wasn't about babies. It was about other things that have been bugging us about each other. Things that just escalated. Ron was relentless, which made me yell all the more... Ugh. It was nasty. I spent the day zoning out in Melanie's back house. She even left for a while, as she had to go to a birthday party. I stayed and napped 'cause I was feeling like total shit. Ron called while I was there and we even got into it again on the phone...until I hung up on him, that is. I was trying to be nice, I was trying to be calm... It just wasn't working. So I stayed 'til Melanie got home and we ordered pizza. Then I got the "I'm so sorry, it's all my fault" text and I was able to go home.

Even though we made up and had a decent day yesterday, I still feel terrible. And I'm still kinda mad at Ron. Just a little. It's like yea, say you're sorry but please don't do this again. How do I know it's not gonna happen again? Why don't you show me? I guess I have to just take the steps and get us into a counselor soon. I'm already looking into a referral, I'm not sure if I mentioned that before. But things can't go on like this. We have to work some things out or it's never going to work. Yes, things that I saw before we married are getting worse. JUST like they said they would! Isn't that GREAT?! Okay, I'll cut the sarcasm.

The one good thing about the weekend is Ron got us some great Mike Patton videos. I still adore Mike Patton, a little more than I should... I just can't help it. He's so weird and adorable. Here he is with yet another delusional looking fan:



That face he's making is precisely why I don't want to run up to him with my camera and take a picture right away...if I ever meet him. He looks like he just HATES it, doesn't he? I'd rather have a picture of us having fun together (NO, not THAT kind of fun) at sushi or something. It'd be so much fun if Ron, cousin Mark, me and Mike could hang out sometime. Yea. I'll just keep fantasizing. Time to leave the office and go home. Eh...maybe I'll stop by the fish store really quick. That's always fun.