The New Murphy's Laws:
· Law of Mechanical Repair – After your hands are covered with grease, your nose will itch and you’ll have to pee.
· Law of Gravity – Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
· Law of Probability – The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
· Law of Random Numbers – If you dial a wrong number, someone ALWAYS answers.
· Law of the Alibi – If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.
· Variation Law – If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you were in (also works at the bank and grocery every time).
· Law of the Bath – When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone or doorbell rings.
·Law of Close Encounters – The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with (doubles if attractive person of the opposite sex)
·Law of the Result – When you try to prove to someone that a machine won’t work, it will.
·Law of Biomechanics – The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
· Law of Theater – At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.
· The Starbuck’s Law3 – As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
· Murphy’s Law of Lockers – If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
·Law of Physical Surfaces – The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.
·Law of Logical Argument – Anything is possible if you don’t know what you are talking about.
· Brown’s Law of Physical Appearance – If the clothes fit off the rack, they are probably ugly.
· Oliver’s Law of Public Speaking – A closed mouth gathers no feet.
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