How much longer can I put this shit off?

I hate statement day. I really have to teach the new girl (well, not really new anymore, she's been here since March) how to do them. But you know how sometimes it's more of a pain in the ass to teach someone something than to just do it yourself? Especially when they'll keep asking questions over and over again. All it requires is patience, which is something I'm running low on. So I'll just keep putting it off.

Well...lemme start. Ooop, I printed ONE. Now I gotta fax it and mail it. Yea.

There's number two...

Okay, what else is going on? Nothing much. I finally received the actual letter from dude who wrote the book. It basically listed all the things that were wrong with the character and drawings, all things that should have been mentioned before I even inked the drawings, much less had them colored. My favorite part is at the end where he implies that this is just a minor "set back" in the grand scheme of things. It's a pretty major one in my eyes because I did all of this work for free. Well guess what? If he ever gets the balls to actually contact me (haven't heard a word by email or phone yet), I'm going to have to tell him that I will do NOTHING FURTHER without payment. Sorry bud. You have been a huge FLAKE and I owe you absolutely nothing. Next...

I can't seem to stay away from that Childfree site. Wow...who knew it was such a taboo to say you might not want kids. Everyone seems to take it upon themselves to assume that you don't like kids. Gawd people are stupid. My own MOTHER asked me! It's okay for people to hate birds, rats, spiders (all pets I've had or have) but say you don't like kids and you're instant EVIL. I'm totally not saying I hate kids. NOT AT ALL. I'm just starting to really come to terms with the fact that I ain't that crazy about 'em, that's all. They don't do it for me. Hey, birds and fish tanks don't do it for other people. I respect that not everyone loves, or even likes, animals and pets. Why can't people respect that I don't get all googoo over babies? Sure, some of them are adorable...but honestly, think baby animals (puppies and kittens and seals and bearcubs) are so much more appealing. I even hated dolls as a child. All I had and would play with were stuffed animals, carebears and My Little Ponies. I had a "fake" Barbie family and they were always the evil ones trying to take over Pony land or something.

I've always had this thing where I like animals more than humans. I think it also stems back to when I'd watch nature shows on PBS. The show would be about eagles, deer, wolves or whatever...living in beautiful nature. Then MAN would always come along and fuck things up with his industrialization, factories, housing, whatever...taking away precious homeland from the animals. Fuck humans. We think we're so special. All we are is the scum of this earth, which will probably shake us off like dead skin pretty soon anyway.

Wow. I have such a wonderful outlook huh. I'm starting to realize that I can't tell my poor, tender mother about some of the terrible shit that goes through my head, I can't tell her EVERYthing anymore. It's just too upsetting for her little world. I let it slip that I hate weddings the other day and she was like, "Gosh, honey...what's happening to you? Why do you hate everything so much?" Uhm. I don't know. Ask Ron. Wait, he doesn't know, either.

Oh yea, speaking of hating... This past weekend was the annual family "Beer Bust". My aunt (mom's sister) and her husband started the "tradition" about 25 years ago when my brothers and cousins were little. Well, my uncle has since passed...it's been about 5 years now. My other uncle passed about 7 years ago. Ever since the party uncles passed, the Beer Bust has become nothing more than a Bust. We went from a full keg, to a pony keg. Less and less people show up. Almost all of my cousins have kids of their own. The ones who don't have kids don't come. In other words, it's reeeeeeeeally starting to SUCK.

This years party was the worst. So the party is usually held at my aunts, which is about 45 minutes away. THIS year, said aunts snobby rich daughter (cousin married into an obscene amount of money) wanted to throw the party at her mansion, which is about AN HOUR and 45 minutes away. My first dissappointment came when they didn't hand out gas money to the poor people once we arrived. Maybe I should have asked. Imagine that! HAH! Anyway, when we finally arrived at the rediculously huge house, we were escorted to the rediculously huge back yard for the party. My second dissappointment was that I didn't bring a bathing suit so I could at least have a little fun in the pool. So besides it being at cousins mansion, (so she could show it off, no doubt, as she was giving "tours" all day) there was nothing different about the party. Just my family standing around talking. No games, no nothing. Just food and boring conversation with the same boring people that I have NOTHING in common with anymore. I enjoyed my mom and dad, as I always do, but even they started to bore me.

Would you like some hilights?

Let's see...

#1. HAS to be when the ONLY childless lady there, one of my brother and SILs friends, who is married but can't have kids, who I actually spoke to about being childless and my consideration of it when I last saw her a few months ago, had the AUDACITY to ask if I was pregnant yet! I gave her a look like, "Excuse me?!" and she said, "You act like it's a bad thing." and I replied, "Well, right now it is." Yea. Great timing there, lady. It's alright though, she had no idea. Neither do all of the other rude, prodding idiots who ask that lame question.

#2 When I found out disgustingly rich cousin is pregnant with her third child, by invetro, because they wanted a girl. AWWW. ISN'T THAT SWEET? Yea. Just the way God intended. *eyeroll* I only overheard her talking about her pregnancy about 67 times. That was annoying, but what was even MORE annoying was overhearing her talk about her two spoiled sons..."Oh yes, he has two rooms he calls his own. He likes to play in one and sleep in the other. Isn't that darling?" Awe. Hey, at least they're not want for anything, eh?

#3 Seeing said spoiled son scream "FUCK YOU!" to his older brother. He's 5 and bro is 7, by the way.

#4 When cousin Matt asked Ron what he did for a living, even though Ron's probably told him he's an electrician at the last three family parties he's been to. Ron drinks a lot and he managed to remember that Matt works on pools. Included in number four is the fact that Matt started talking to Ron and then seemingly lost interest and drifted over to talking to my wanna-be snob brother, who always has to bring and spread his cigars around to all the "cool" men. My brother always manages to get all the men to start talking "business" with him. How fucking BORING.

#5 When I told my SIL about the recent "disgusting" wedding I went to, where the bride was 7 months pregnant...realizing only afterwards that SIL was actually 2 months preggo with nephew when she married my brother 15 years ago. OOOPS. FOOT IN MOUF. *HMPH* Knowing her, she probably got a little offended 'cause she IS very Christian and getting preggo before you're married is pretty hairy...especially when your mom did it, too...and married your dad only because she was pregnant, then dad wasn't really in love with mom for all those years and finally left her for his long lost high school sweetheart a few years ago. Ahem. Yea. Didja get that? Dirty laundry is everywhere.

Gee. Am I being a little sensitive about this pregnancy thing? Maybe? Just a teeny weeny bit? It's an issue and it seems to be trying to stifle me right now. It's like normal women, after they get married, think about how much they want to have a baby, while I'm busy thinking about how much I DON'T. And then I have to go to a fucking shitty ass family party with people who couldn't give a fuck about me unless I'm doing what they expect me to do. How BORING. BORING BORING BOOOOORRRIIINNNGGGGGG.

Okay, that's all the bitter bitching I can do for now. I must get finished with this awfulness. Almost. Done.

Bye.