It took a lot of strength not to just call in depressed today. I dragged my ass here... Wow, what a difference a little epiphany makes. It's like the events of the past week...well, they weren't really "events", moreso things flowing through my ever-tangled mind. I met with the people I'm doing the book with and the discussion we had made me see things at my workplace in a new light. My boss in a new light. And also, going to my old house kinda made me step back and look again. I feel I need to make a change before I go crazy.
Before I contine, allow me the usual disclaimer... Boss has been good to me, has given me confidence, has taught me so much. She's basically a nice person. She is a smart business person. I admire her accomplishments...
BUT...
I am tired of hearing about them. If I hear, "I'm so proud of myself", ONE MORE TIME... I need a vacation. I need to get away from her and this office. I need to see my husband more than twice a week. I need more freedom. I know I have plenty here...just look what I'm doing instead of inventory...but...it's just the Catholic guilt. I feel bad for having these feelings of resentment toward my boss suddenly flood my mind. I can't take her rudeness, her snobbery anymore. I need a break. It's my fault for allowing her to say these things to me. I shouldn't stand for it. I have to talk to her again and tell her I need some time to myself. This commute is killing me. No time to catch up at home. No energy. I'm tired of being a peon. I'm not headed in the right direction. Or am I? I just need to get out of here. I want to go home so badly, but I can't. No...I have to do fucking inventory. I've put it off as long as I can now.
Time to go. I have to post pictures. That reminds me...Ron needs to email me pictures.
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