Good to know

It's always good to be reminded that you are attractive. Especially when you've been feeling a tad less like pond scum in past weeks. Yesterday evening, as I was driving home from picking up Melanie's birthday gift, I received a compliment from a cute fellow in the car next to me. I was sitting at a red light, blasting the Gnarles Barkley CD I'd purchased over the weekend (GREAT, by the way) when I heard,

"Hey! Excuse me!" I roll down my window to speak to the fellow in the passenger seat of what I assume is his buddy's car.

"Yes?"

"I'm sorry, but would you happen to know where the nearest {Gas ripoff station} is?"

Mind you, I've lived in the same city my ENTIRE life. However, when confronted with questions of this nature, ESPECIALLY coming from a cute stranger, I am almost always at a loss. Aware of my surroundings? Me? Of course not! I am terrible at knowing where the nearest ANYTHING is and usually have to look it up if I am in need. So I sit there and try...try to keep the heat from rising past my neck, try to come up with an answer...quick, yew eeeediot!!!

"Uh, yea...you might try making a left on the next street. I'm pretty sure (always covers your ass) there's one a few blocks up." *genuine smile*

"Okay, so make a left here? Cool, thanks a lot." *smiles back*

By now the heat has undeniably risen to my face and I turn my head as I roll up the window partway. I'm thinking, "Look cool, don't look embarrassed...relaaaxxx...ah, look busy!" So I take a cigarette from my newly purchased pack. *flick* *flick* *PUUuufffffff* *Aaaahhh* Felt good. My first cigarette in days, as I've cut way back due to the phlegm fest in my chest. As I'm finishing blowing out the first puff, I hear,

"Hey!"

Roll down window again, "Yes?" *smile*

"I just wanted to tell you that you looked really sexy when you lit your cigarette just then..."

All attempts at keeping from blushing are now completely obliterated. HUGE FLUSH. FIRE. SMOKE FROM EARS.

"Why...uh...why, thank you!" *stoopid grin*

"I think you're very pretty. I see a ring on your finger...engaged?"

"Y-yes, yea" *BLUSH*

"Awwww...damn, well I woulda asked you out right here and now!"

I answered with,

"Well, cool...it's good to know...you know...I still...I..." Looking for the right words, trying not to fumble too much 'cause this guy is cute and he knows I think he's cute and it's just one of those silly, fun, awkward situations... He finishes my sentence with...

"You can get 'em. Yes, you're very attractive."

"Why, thank you very much." *gushing smile* "You know, you made my day..."

"Well that's awesome, glad I could do that for ya!"

Then we started talking a little, where ya from, whatsyername and just as I was thinking that this could possibly be the longest red light in the history of this city I grew up in, the light changed.

"Take it easy! Take care! You too!"

I drove home the rest of the way all fluffy chested, hot and flustered...but happy. I was also hoping that there was at least a gas station, nevermind that particular one, in the direction I'd told them to go!

But I needed that little confidence boost. Who doesn't enjoy something like that? We always forget the positive things so quickly and remember that bad shit (put downs, failures, weaknesses) forever.

I didn't tell Ron right away, I actually still haven't. I was at Melanie's by the time he got home last night. I was gonna tell him but didn't really find the right time. We talked about other importnat things. And I felt I needed to listen to him. Then we watched a movie and went to bed.

I'm just a little worried about Ron. He seems very stressed in the past few months. It's so understandable, so many people, especially men, get overwhelmed at the prospect of marriage and starting a whole new life. I think it would be a very good idea for us to go to pre-marital counseling. It's not like we have major problems and I still want to marry him. It's just that we both have issues. They've come into the light a few times and we need to discuss them further, we need to try to make this transition into married life as smooth as possible. I think that he feels a bit too pressured by me, along with everything else in his life...like I've been too needy or something. We just have to talk...seriously.

This is why I hate his schedule. It could go on like this until the end of the year. It's so hard to fit everything in on the weekends. He wants to unwind and sleep a lot, do a few things here and there, but mostly relax. That leaves little time to talk seriously. I don't know where in the hell the weekends go, honestly. In the meantime, I'll continue to be supportive, as I always try to do. I have to be there for him and not be a disappointment, like everyone else in his life.

Oooh, where did the time go? It's slow today. I have to eat lunch. Later!