I feel so much better today. Ron and I had a much needed and long overdue talk last night. Well, this morning actually. I went to bed very early and left a note asking him to wake me when he got home at 2:00 a.m. He came in all rosey from a shower, gently woke me (sniffff mmmmmmmm) and we sat on the couch to relax and talk.
I expressed all of my concerns and so did he. He apologized for being such an ass to me the other night. He admitted to really letting things get to him lately, expecting too much from people and not having enough patience. He understood why I was upset and hurt (the guy is really in tune, I tell ya) and came up with solutions. Best of all, he made me feel appreciated. And he's not all hot air. He doesn't just say things to make me feel better and then not follow through. Shit though, we're only human... This new schedule has been such a shit to get used to for both of us. It felt good to clear the air. It always feels so good to just talk, communicate, get the lead out. To get reassurance.
I have to remember that no matter how hard it may be sometimes, I have to let my feelings be known. I've mentioned before that I had a huge problem with that in my last relationship. I struggled inside myself for so long before I said anything. I also have to remember that this is a totally different relationship. It's not healthy to dwell on the past or to compare and contrast relationships. They're all different and they all change over time. Sometimes they grow and other times they choke and die. After this morning, I feel like we are continuing to grow. I feel like we will be able to take on the challenges that life is inevitably going to throw our way, whether we like it or not.
Yea... As I read over this entry...it sounds so generic. So common. That just goes to show that I'm not alone. We all struggle. It's how we go about that struggle that determines whether or not we'll be successful.
***stepping off soap box***
Okay, now it's time to get back to work. Morning coffee break is over. I want to get through this day so that I can go home and go to bed. I did not go back to bed until about 5:30. Time to go get MORE coffee. Yup.
1 comment:
There's nothing generic about this entry. Expressing your feelings is a huge thing. I'm way older than you and I still have problems doing that. Hang in there. You're doing good. (was that too generic? LOL)
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