HELL

I HATE SUMMER! I HATE IT I HATE IT I HAAAAAAAAAATE IT!!!! It is so fucking HOT outside! AARRRghghghgh!!! I don't want to go home! My house is going to be MISERABLE! My poor poor pets... Stan has probably gotten into my razors and shaved off all of his fur. Pickles has probably plucked off all of his newly grown, not even fully developed feathers. I might have to break down my cheap ass and turn on my window unit in the bedroom for a little while. It's not like I don't have air conditioning, it's just that I'm too cheap to use it. I have decided that I am DEFINATELY going to ask for a raise. This is rediculous. I'm so fucking TIRED of not being able to afford to live comfortably. If I have to pay for my own damned insurance, then I deserve a fucking raise to help me! Give me a BREAK!AARRRUGGGHGHGHG!!!! *puff* *puff* Okay, calm down... I knew I wasn't going to be offered insurance when I took this job and that I'd eventually have to get it on my own. It still sucks, but that's the way it goes!

That was my little rant for now. For now. For now. The heat is making me crazy crazy crazy... Breathe... So last night was interesting. I went to the Shabu Shabu place and treated myself to a wonderful, expensive meal. It was so very yummy. I had myself a couple of beers with it and got a nice buuuuzzz. I didn't get home from my day until about 7:00. My house was so very nice and suffocatingly hot. I jumped in the shower to soothe the stickies. Turned on all the fans and laid down on my bed, naked and wet. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...ffffffaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnn. It felt so gooooooooooooooooooood. I was going to lay there for a little while and cool off. Then I'd planned to water the plants and clean the damn rat cage, let Pickles out for a little while, maybe write some bills. I was thinking of all these things as I laid on my bed in the wonderful fanniness. Next thing I know the phone is ringing at 9:45. Whah? Who? Where? It was Melanie confirming our plans to go pick up Devon from the airport tonight. She's like, "You sound tired, you weren't sleeping were you?" I never like to say that to people who call and wake me so I just said, "No...I...I just haven't been talking all day." MMm-hmmm... No, I didn't fall asleep at 7:30 in the evening, not me. Once I was awake I just managed to drag myself to the bathroom to brush my teeth. Then I put on a wet tank top, put it under the bathtub faucet for a sec, and went back to bed.

I didn't wake up much...had some weird ass dreams. I've had three weird dreams about Ron this week. In each one, it starts out with Ron and I being all lovey... Then as the dream goes on he turns into Arn. I get this sick feeling in my stomach and I'm thinking...wait, what happened here??? I don't remember much else, then I wake up. Yuck! What the hell is that about??? Last night's was depressing because I had this horrible feeling that I was stuck with Arn and Ron was gone. In one part, I was in a car with him and his parents and he was sitting in between the two of them! We were going to his sister's or something, I don't remember. I mainly remember the sick feeling of dread in my gut. Bleh. I can't WAIT for Ron to come home, damnit. This week is hell...literally.

Well I've decided to stay a little late at work again and exercise. There is no way I'll be able to exercise outside or in my house. So I figure I'll do some ab work and then run up and down the stairs a few times to get the heart going. Yea, that should work. Just like being in an airconditioned gym. Okay...here goes...getting motivated now. Later!