Stupid, accusatory bitches from Pennsylvania

So... I had the ULTIMATE pleasure of getting into yet another fender bender this morning. Good Christ, now my car officially looks like it's been driven down to almost the smallest end of a drainage pipe. Seriously...I have damage all the way around the car. All damage I did to myself, mind you. This newest adventure in dents is going to send me right to the body shop. And that little accusatory BITCH is going to pay for it. FUCK ME. I can't fucking believe I was so NICE to her! Anyway, here's the wonderfully thorough claim I just wrote to my insurance company:

Dear Claims Dept.,

I would like to report an accident that happened this morning, 9/19/08 at approximately 8:15 a.m. in Burbank, Ca. It involved myself and one other vehicle. There were only two drivers and no passengers.. I was travelling West on Riverside Dr., as was the other party. We had been waiting at a red light and the accident happend as we travelled through the intersection of Olive Ave. and Riverside Dr., here:
View Larger Map

I was driving straight, in the middle lane, with my hands at 10 and 2. I remember being startled by the unexpected BUMP. I'm pretty sure now, after studying the street map, that she pulled into me. I believe she was in the left turn lane and didn't realize it. Please also see this view:
View Larger Map

I pulled over to the far right corner, just past the intersection and noticed that she kept going. So I followed her to the Cheveron gas station just up Riverside. She was on the phone with the police when I tapped her shoulder and asked what happened. Right away she said that I'd pulled into her. I was in a daze and nervous...trying to remember, but I couldn't place it. I didn't want to argue so we exchanged info and waited for the police. I noticed she was talking to some guy, who may or may not have been a witness. I'm sorry I didn't ask who he was, but he was asking her things and seemed to be helping her out for some reason. He did not speak to the police man who arrived to take the report. I feel like an idiot for not asking now... I also feel like an idiot for saying the words, "I'm sorry..." after she blantantly accused me of running into her. I realize now, after studying the map and replaying the scene in my mind, that it must have been her who hit me. I know I was headed straight and in the middle lane next to the left turn lane because I have travelled this route to work several times over the past five years. She, on the other hand, is from Pennsylvania and is on unfamiliar territory.

Please see the attached photos of my car damage. You'll notice in picture #1 that the scratch extends all the way down the driver's side door, starting from where I pointed out her car's bumper. The only damage her car sustained was to the front passenger side of the bumper. Now that I have studied the map and thought about what happened, it seems very clear that she pulled into my car from the left turn lane. I was not turning left on Olive, so why would I deliberately pull into her car? The more I think about it, the angrier I get, because I practically admitted fault by saying I'm sorry. But I sincerely believe that it was not my fault. The following is the information I gathered from the other driver:

Stupid Bitch
1234 Somewhere out there
Pennsylvania
Cell phone#: 800-I'm-a-fuck-head

Lic #123 456 78
DOB: 12/10/75

The cop on the scene was from the Burbank Police Dept., his last name Toth and his badge #9542. The date and time he recorded for the incident is 9/19/08/08:20 hours.

The other driver did not have her insurance with her, but said she had insurance with some company in Erie, PA and had given the information to the rental car company. She was driving a Hyundai Accent, rented from the local Hertz, most likely the one at the Burbank airport.

Please confirm receipt of this email right away, either by return email or by calling me on my cell phone at 800-I'm-gonna-kill-some-bitch. I would like to resolve this issue and get my car fixed.

Thanks very much for your help!

Signed, one pissed off Julie
_________________________________________________________________

Ya think I have a chance in hell? I feel like such an idiot. I was in shock and didn't even argue when she accused me. But after reviewing the intersection on Google maps (which is pretty fucking AWESOME for this kind of shit, btw) I remembered what happened. I was going straight and I'm sticking to my story. The dumbass didn't know where she was going because she's NOT FROM HERE, LIKE 3/4 OF THE FUCKING STATE OF CALIFORNIA. The fuck is here on vacation. And to think I was so nice to her, saying I'm sorry and wishing her a nice rest of the vacation. She just looked at me like I was nuts the whole time. HOW could I BE so STUPID?! Well, I'ma fight this, that's for sure. Now that I realize what happpened. And I don't know WHO that ugly guy was hanging around the scene, he was only talking to her and didn't say anything to the cop.

How about some Peabirds?

Okay, so I've been working on these for a while and I've finally finished a few. It's a lot of fun bringing these silly little characters to life. Especially since I've been drawing them since I could pick up a pencil.

Let's start with a Peabird, well, the main guy Tady, and his "mom'...



Peabirds are supposed to be about this size when they're in our world. However, this is sometimes not the case, as seen in this picture...



They are able to grow some in order to blend in more. Yea. That's it. Imagination is key, folks!

Then we have Tady swimming in waters that I long to explore...



Ahhh...so refreshing...

How 'bout we go pick some flowers? Or the ONLY flower that happens to be growing here...



Teehee!

It's TAY-DEEEE!!! YAAAYY!!!



And there you have it. Peabirds hanging out in different places. Isn't that lovely? And creative? Oh yes. I love creating. Now it's time to go create a poop. Bye bye!

The Stork

Ah yes...The Stork. Not so special anymore, huh.

And thank you, M. I think you put it rather nicely. Your reasoning is the same as mine. I will take them from your wonderful comment and put them here. Thank you so much for your support. And you too, A.

*Ahem*

Reasons I don't want kids, volume I:

1. I don't want the responsbility of caring for another human being for the next eighteen years (and more, since kids are leaving the nest later and later and do tend to come back).

2. I don't want the expense they bring. I don't want the stress. I don't want the germs. I don't want to pass on my particular cocktail of genetic crap.

3. I don't want to bring another human into an overpopulated world and strain our resources further.

4. I don't want to doom a child to living in a world that scares the crap of ME, an adult.

5. I don't want to deal with the noise, the activity level, the clinginess, or the mess of a child.

Hell, I have birds. I already deal with a noise level, clinginess (Pickles has his moments) and mess. I take it from them because I enjoy them...just like other women enjoy children. I mean, I enjoy children, too. I feel like I keep having to say that over and over. I think some toddlers are adorable. It's just that I'm much more googoo over baby animals. I LOVE animals and their innocense. I detest humans and their arrogance. This is how I am. This is my belief system and there is nothing wrong with it. I AM THE CRAZY BIRD/ANIMAL LADY. That is FINE with me.

It might mean that I end up alone, but I am prepared to fight for what I want. It's gonna be very tough. Just when I think Ron is starting to understand, he says he wants to be a father. This actually came up again at the local H@@ters over the weekend. I'm trying to avoid the subject and not bombard him. I don't want to get into arguments constantly, so I've left it alone for a while. But it came up, I listened and didn't push...he said he wanted to be a father. I was gonna ask why but he closed the subject because he didn't want to argue in a restaurant...again. This is why I need a compitent therapist to guide me through this. I don't know how to approach it. We need to hash this out once and for all so we can move on...either together or apart.

I can honestly say that I've never felt more confident about a decision in my entire life. Honestly. People, I KNOW I'd be a great mom. I KNOW I'm smart and could offer a child a lot. Who says it has to be MY child? How selfish is that?! Sorry to disappoint, but this is MY life. SO THERE. *sticks out tongue like 3 year old*

Sorry, end of this discussion for now. FOR NOW.

Have you ever...

...been so into someone that you want to climb into their skin and wear them like a leotard with nipples?  Hehehehe...  I'm watching Two and a Half Men.  I love this show.  It's another repeat, but I can watch them over and over.  I feel the same way about Seinfeld.  The writing is just spectacular.  I love the crazy girl, Rose.  She reminds me a little of myself, of course.

Ah yes, the crazy girl.  Speaking of crazy, I had a consultation with the psychiatry nurse last Friday.  She's gonna send me a therapist referral soon, so that I can start getting this baby shit outta the way.  Yes, baby shit.    I need to get to the bottom of why I don't want any kids.  I feel so alone in this decision.  It's amazing how the world is so geared toward breeding.  I've never noticed it before.  Well, it doesn't help that the subject is sitting on my brain like diarreah...oozing and settling into the cracks.  Mmmm...what an image that conjures up, huh?  

Ya know, I love being nasty.  And graphic.  And gross.  And plain old juvenile.  It's fun.  I dont't wanna stop.  It's true, I don't wanna grow up.  That might be part of it...  Another part of it is the fact that I'm a nervous wreck.  I don't want to pass that on.  I don't want to deal with all the pain and misery.  I know there are good parts but there's still a lotta pain and misery.  I remember it.  I was a child once.  I don't wanna deal with all that shit.  Is that so wrong?  Does that sound like a big pile of excuses?  No...it doesn't.  I feel the way I do for a reason.  There is ALWAYS a reason.  I'm just a little foggy on it .

So the therapist....er...the nurse.  She was okay.  Typical family lady.  I brought up my main issue and was met with the usual, "It's good you think about this now..." and "You'll want to be sure to have all issues out of the way before you have children."  I dunno...I feel like everyone in my life thinks I'd change my mind of the circumstances were different.  My mom agrees with my reasons and seems to understand, but will "still say you'd change your mind if your husband were more mature and responsible and you were able to be a stay at home mom at for the first few years..."  Yea.  Here we go again with the "What if's" huh.

*sigh*

We'll see who I'm referred to.  And then we'll see if we can get Ron in there, too.  We have to settle our differences on this.  It's only healthy.  I just wish I had the courage to get on with it.  I guess I am.  One step at a time...

What time is it?

It's NIGHT time! Man, I NEVER post from home anymore... I finally got the wireless modem up and running so I can use my lil' 'ol mac at home. I was going to use this thing at work but I'm not into working on two different computers at once. I can't stretch my little tiny attention span that far. So for now it's mac at home. I also didn't like lugging this thing around. Huh. "Lugging" is hardly the word to use for this kewt lil' mac book... I don't like taking it to work because often times I exercise after work and leave my car parked on the street that I choose to jog on, or at the Y, where I'ma swimmin'. I'm not too keen on leaving this, a big investment, anywhere in my car without some sort of electrocution device attached to it. I've already had an ipod stolen. HELL if I'm gonna have this little peach taken from me! HELL HATH NO FURY, THAN A WOMAN...whose precious mac book has been stolen.

So, it's Monday night and I'm sitting at the kitchen table, typing away. The fish tank glows... I really should take a picture. I think I'll try it with this thing, come to think of it... I've got a camera built in. Let's see here...

OKAY! ARE YOU READAYYY??!!! It's the picture FEST!!!! Crazy, stupid pictures...some taken tonight, some from the past year. Straight from the photobooth to you. Enjoy the insanity...

We start with an experiment. Right sided me vs. Left sided me. Observe...


Right sided me.


Left sided me...making an oddly...uhm...  Okay, shut off your dirty mind for this one, 'kay?  It's meant to be clean.  Really it is.  I'm just playing around with that third tooth that popped in right there, that's what I'm doin'.

Hummm...  Very weird to look at yourself mirrored. Look at my parallel mole and pimple constellations. Isn't it gorgeous? Damn those moles are huge. They're like little rabbit poohs on my face. I need to get those things burnt off, along with the big, black bug on my back.

SO.  Enough about my moles.

Back to pictures...

Ron had to get into it, too...

Just look at that eye... And those cute lil' lips!

Okay, say it with me now,


BAY-BEE RROOOOFFFF!

Hehehehehe!!!!

And some hideousness from my brother, Steve...



This turned out weird and terribly nasty...



WHAT on EARTH?! It's only my brother's chin and tongue. HAHAHAHAHA!!!! EWWW!!!!

And then it's back to Ron and I...

Now it's time for some kute lil' kitty photos from tonight!


Awww, STANLEEEYYYY!


Yes, he's licking my nose. Stanley always licks noses when you put them in his face.

And here is Stanley's 1 1/2 year old little clone...


Yes, believe it or not, that is a different cat. It's my darling Henry.

Now I shall leave you will nothing less than another picture of my WHUN-DER-FULLLLL Fish tank...

But of course.


This is Happy Face Rock. In't he cute?!   And that torch coral above it looks like a little cupcake.  Mmmm...  Cupcakes.  It's time for dessert.  Goodnight!

Is your life ruled by that sonuvva bitch, Murphy?

The New Murphy's Laws:

· Law of Mechanical Repair – After your hands are covered with grease, your nose will itch and you’ll have to pee.

· Law of Gravity – Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

· Law of Probability – The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

· Law of Random Numbers – If you dial a wrong number, someone ALWAYS answers.

· Law of the Alibi – If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

· Variation Law – If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you were in (also works at the bank and grocery every time).

· Law of the Bath – When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone or doorbell rings.

·Law of Close Encounters – The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with (doubles if attractive person of the opposite sex)

·Law of the Result – When you try to prove to someone that a machine won’t work, it will.

·Law of Biomechanics – The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

· Law of Theater – At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

· The Starbuck’s Law3 – As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

· Murphy’s Law of Lockers – If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

·Law of Physical Surfaces – The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

·Law of Logical Argument – Anything is possible if you don’t know what you are talking about.

· Brown’s Law of Physical Appearance – If the clothes fit off the rack, they are probably ugly.

· Oliver’s Law of Public Speaking – A closed mouth gathers no feet.

I have such a big mouth...

I know, it's been done so many times...but it's SO FUNNY when you do it to yourself. I was CRYING over here... I took a few shots for a photo I need to attach and mail to a form in order to get my official scuba certification. I didn't like how my mouth turned out in one shot, so I screwed around with it some, only to go back to the original shot. I tend to doctor things a bit much in Photoshop, making them look unreal. My finished photo, after screwing with it too much, made me look downright scary. I looked sickly plastic...ew! So I just went with the natural shot after all.

Anyway... I have work to do. Later...

One flew over the rainbow bridge...

Here's a picture I made for a friend who lost her beloved dog... She sent me a picture of the dog, as well as a picture of her current cat. I thought...why not put them together in "heaven"?



Hahaha! More phun with photoshop. She loved it, too.

Jam on my Bun

There it is...my breakfast this morning. Isn't that pretty? I mixed the raspberry and apricot jams. Oooh that tastes good!

Things have been fine. Not much I feel like writing about, can you tell? Have I mentioned lately that I hate Mondays? How original, I know but... Today especially sucks because I drank too much over the weekend. I've been so good, too. The beer was just too appetizing and I kept going for more. Now I'm terribly down and depressed. Poopies... Oh well, I'll get over it like I always do.

I've had some interesting dreams lately... Ones where I'm maintaining fish tanks that I actually remember maintaining in other dreams. Like the ten gallon I set up in my brothers room in one dream, the 50 gallon in my old room in another dream... I go back and visit them, take out the dead fish, feed them...it's rediculous. I have this one tank in these dreams, I think it's like 300 gallons or something, but it's got an entire room behind it that's dedicated to filtration. And the filter is such that it doesn't need any cleaning, only little red or yellow balls added to the system, depending on the water quality at that time. Weird...

Then there's the recurring dream I've been having for the past few months, the one where all the shit that's going down in the middle east actually moves over here...like they come on over and nuclear bomb California to get a point across. At one point I'm running home to see if our apartment is still there, the sky is purple and red, I can't find anyone I know... It's terrible and I've had it 4 times in the past 2 months. What is UP with that shit?

And the best disturbing and recurring dream is the one where Ron leaves me for a woman with toddlers...or one who is pregnant, or one who WANTS to get pregnant. Last night's was horribly depressing. I was crying and carrying on, begging him to stay and be child free with me...then I see him walking off into the sunset with a woman and her snot nosed toddler. Ugh...

I guess I've been having that last one a lot lately because of my feelings toward having a family. Feelings that are not new, but rather more grounded in my mind. Things on that front are okay though. Ron realizes how I feel about the subject and that's good. I've made an impression. Now it's just going to be sticking to my convictions and not feeling guilty about it. You know how it is, too... Say you decide to go on a diet and cut out ALL the sweets. Suddenly, all you see are people eating ice cream, brownies, candy... It's the same thing with me and kids lately. ALL I see are fucking families with toddlers and babies. I do not feel envious, just really left out. Like, why can't there be MORE people like me? Why does EVERYONE have to go that route? I feel guilty, like I'm supposed to want to do all this crap for my husbnad, I'm not supposed to even think about it. I'm s'posed to be the good, unselfish, family minded woman who just squirts out kids and hopes for the best.

NO.

NOT ME. I refuse...I want to keep my freedom! Is that so wrong? I'm just scared. I guess I can save it for my psych appointment this Friday. Time to do a check on the 'ol meds and see if I can find a couselor for us.
And that's about it. Time to go for now. Bye bye...

Dick heads and Obliviousnessssess...

Ever wonder where the term dick head came from? WELL wonder no more!



HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAA!!!!!

On that note, I said I'd post the emails between me, the colorist and mister stupid writer dude...or shall we call him dick head now? Check out the following exchange. It IS to laugh... Or cry. But really, I choose to laugh and learn.


So after we get a letter telling us about all that is wrong with our FINISHED ARTWORK, we get the following email from dick head:

"Greetings!

Hope all is well and you have had some time to comprehend the updates that I sent you.

The illustrations are extremely excellent and with just some fine tweeking will be immaculate and public friendly..Let me know if you have any questions or need to meet...

We're are almost there!! Keep up the great effort and soon we will have a wonderful book to share with the world and then some fun showing it at some nature places in the LA and Orange County areas...and more..."

Yup. Always with his head in the clouds, dreaming of all the heavenly glory before we even get off the ground. So the wonderful colorist, and now my friend, Vicki writes this lovely response:

"You're a funny cookie [dick head] ... What I comprehend about the updates is that Julie and I have to redo every single picture that we've done. At every step you had the opportunity to put your two cents in if you indeed didn't like the pictures. If you wanted to 'fine tweek' the pictures you should have shared that when we were creating them.

Imagine me telling you that you have to redo a song because this is wrong and that is wrong. It would be cool as you're creating it, but then your at the end and, you love it, you're happy with it ... but this and this and this is wrong with it. Hummm, I wonder if you'd be so excited or gun hoe to redo what you thought was a good product. What I find most interesting is that you dropped and ran. You didn't even have the balls (excuse me for being so rude) to tell me to my face. What is that, [dick head]?

Let me ask you this ... with what Julie and I just experienced, what makes you even think that we would commit ourselves again just so you can pick it apart for another redo? You've just shown us that we can't trust what you tell us. Do we have to have all drawings approved by your mom and brother? We both trusted you as we progressed on this project and we were both shocked at what you came back with. Let me ask you an even simpler question ... what is he going to wear? Seaweed shorts perhaps? Scales? Are we redoing the hair with a short punk look? I'm sure the men in Hawaii would love to know they look ... feminine ... with their grass skirts. You're asking for reality and/or realism in something that isn't. It's a children's book for goodness sake. The bus is too small, the arm is too narrow, he shouldn't have sandals on, the smoke needs to be darker ... etc. etc. etc. Children are not going to pick the pictures apart like you have. Just out of wild curiosity, what did they think of your story? Any adjustments there? Or was it just meant for the pictures that brought the story to life?

If you indeed want us to redo the pictures, you'll pay for them because Julie and I just wasted a great grip of time on something that can't be used. You are more than welcome to turn to some other sucker that is willing to trust what you tell them and get them done for free again. Julie and I just aren't those suckers anymore. If you want us to do them, another contract will be created and there will be cash paid for them. Right now Julie and I are fully within our right as artists to charge you for the work that has already been done. We haven't ruled that out as we contemplate what we're going to do.

I'm in the middle of mourning my moms death and moving out of this apartment right now. I will contact a lawyer and see what our options are because I can't see putting all this work into something just to throw it aside because the whole thing is wrong ... in your eyes.

I really don't know how you will respond to this [dick head] because you don't even seem to comprehend what you've just done to us. Your minimal writing time does not even come close to the time we've put in trying to help you bring it to life. Dude ... I'm very disappointed and still to this moment ask you ... why didn't you tell us all these things as we came together with all these meetings? Wasn't that the purpose of the meetings?I will be waiting to hear from you [dick head]...

Vickie"

AAAAAAAAAAaaand this was dick head's return email entitled, "Follow Up":

"I'm so sorry you misunderstood...

"Tweeking" does not mean major changes only light corrections for continuity.
(adults will read this too) e.g. "bluish beam" from moon should be blue.
The city bus should look more like one (i.e. somewhat taller) and the smoke should be somewhat more menancing. Because S. Boy is around 17 his face, arms and chest should have a slight more masculine look #1cover, 3, & 6. (others seem fine.)
Can you erase the plant material on his arm in the city scene? (he transformed from that)

So What's up with the extreme overreaction?

What it needs is only simple stuff , simple color or character line not a complete redo.

Can you make his grass skirt slightlly longer? It seems a little short

Can you lighten the silhouette of him in the bubble lightly? It seems somewhat sinister
for his good natured character.

Scene at the UN was only suggested.


There is no rush on this."

Are you laughing yet? This guy is so stupid he's downright funny, isn't he? Good Christ Almighty...I knew he had his head up his ass but I had no idea just how FAR it was! So here is my response to that last email. I sent it a week ago and have not heard back...

"Hello [dick head],

According to your response here, you seem to be the one who has the misunderstanding. You did not address our main concern as to why you did not point out these minor changes before we were done with the drawings. That was the purpose of all these meetings. All we heard, as artists was, "Great job! Perfect! Wonderful! Captures it beautifully!" We continued having these meetings with you so that you could point out all of the important things you needed before we were finished with the hand painted drawings that you asked us to do. We were to understand that these drawings were to be done by hand, not computer.

That brings up another very important question that we need to clarify... Are you, the board of reviewers and the publisher going to want the finished product in Photoshop or some other computer program format? Using a computer program to tweek and then print the final drawings can change the entire thing! The look, the quality, the color... Just how is the final product expected to be handed over? Because that makes a HUGE difference, in and of itself. Which again, was the entire point of these meetings.

You have failed to address what exactly we need to do in order to get these drawings from our hands and made into an actual book. We understood that you wanted everything done a certain way, which is hand drawn, inked and then painted in water color. Is this correct? What does the publisher want?? You do not seem to understand what artwork went into the finished product here. Let me try to explain it to you further...

1. "Tweeking" does not mean major changes only light corrections for continuity." ~ Completely understandable, IF the drawings were still in pencil. That is why I was sure to email the sketch (still easy to change without ruining the image, simply erase) to you and Vickie before I did the final inking (less easy to fix without messing up the drawing, but white out and photoshop will work).

2. "(adults will read this too) e.g. "bluish beam" from moon should be blue." - Again, something much easier to change before the final water color painting. Let me explain how water color works... IF we change the moon beam from the yellow we now have to the bluish you want, we will get GREEN. There is NO WAY, short of redoing the entire water-coloring process, that we can change that color from yellow to blue without getting green. Mind you, we can do this if we scan it into the computer, but again, Vickie and I understood that this would be done the "old school" way. Unless we scan it into the computer and do it on Photoshop. But in this case, isn't it so much easier to simply change the word "bluish" to "yellowish"????? Why not do that, instead of changing the artwork, which took much longer to create than it did to write that one word.

3. "The city bus should look more like one (i.e. somewhat taller) and the smoke should be somewhat more menancing." - Did I not email you this picture? Did you not see the unfinished (unwater-colored piece) at one of our meetings?? AGAIN, why did you not bring this up before it was done and painted? This one is not as difficult to change, if we use the computer, of course. The smoke can actually be done on the original drawing with watercolor. But in order to change the bus, I either have to redo the whole drawing or scan it in and change it.

4. "Because S. Boy is around 17 his face, arms and chest should have a slight more masculine look #1 cover, 3, & 6. (others seem fine.)" - Something you could have told me about at the meetings. I have no problem at all with fine tweeking my sketches and drawings. Why did you say they were fine? This is something that cannot be changed without redoing all three of these drawings, IF you want them in original, hand-painted format. Scan them into Photoshop? Not such a big deal.

5. "What it needs is only simple stuff , simple color or character line not a complete redo. - Again, you fail to understand the meaning of simple when it comes to hand drawn, hand painted artwork. If you want the whole thing scanned into a computer and reworked, that is a whole different story.

"Can you make his grass skirt slightlly longer?" - Please, tell me [dick head]...how many scenes does Seaweed boy wear a grass skirt? Do you want me to white the hell out of the bottom of his skirt in each and every scene he wears it? NOT easy to do with hand drawn, hand painted artwork. Photoshop? Not such a big a deal, but still a deal. Still something much easier dealt with before we handed you the finished work.

"Can you lighten the silhouette of him in the bubble lightly? It seems somewhat sinister for his good natured character." - In a hand drawn, hand painted picture? Simply? NO. Again, [dick head], let me explain water color and ink... You cannot go from black to grey without ruining the painting. But in Photoshop, it's quite simple.


The bottom line is that Vickie and I are artists, not magicians. We do only what you tell us to do. You need to be much more clear about your expectations so as not to cause us to waste time on something for which we are not getting paid. Yes, no matter how fun and delightful you seem to think this whole process is, it is WORK. We spent hours on this project that we cannot get back. And you want us to spend more hours on it? Please, step back and think about what you are asking us to do, [dick head]."

*sigh*

I know, another lesson learned the hard way. I'm through working with these quacks, as I've said before. I need to have to confidence to take my work elsewhere. It's the only thing I can doo...trudge on. I wonder when I'm gonna hear from dick head again. You think he got the point? FINALLY?! Let's hope...

AAAAaaallllmost Certified...

Just have to take the written test tomorrow night and hubby and I will be certified divers! We had our last class this past Sunday, which involved going out to Catalina on a diving boat and completing three practice dives using all of the skills we'd learned. Simple, right? Mostly yes...but this moron (me) had to take a huge (and very stupid) chance by not buying any seasickness meds for the trip. No, no... Instead I bought these wristbands that are supposed to help the "drug free" way. You know, 'cause I thought we were taking the Catalina Express...the one that gets ya there fast with minimal rocking. And I'm so totally "drug free" ya know. NOT. How dumb I felt when we arrived at the port at 6:00 a.m., only to load up on the much smaller diving boat, the Magician. Oh what spells of puke that boat did weave, lemme tell ya.

So I panicked a little, thinking about my last ocean excursion when I went fishing with my dad and brother last August. It was the same sized boat with about 25 people...almost the exact scenario, except we were on that boat to fish, not dive. It wasn't so bad that time, but I do remember being a little sqeamish throughout the day. I just ate a little bread and concentrated on the horizon. It worked out fine for that trip, but NOT for this one. Those wristbands didn't do a fucking thing. It was only about 15 minutes into the TWO HOUR trip that I spewed the breakfast I'd eaten to try to "settle" my stomach. Word got around the boat that we had a puker, so a nice man offered me some meds. No sooner had I opened my mouth to put the pills at the back of my tongue (a simply brilliant thing to do when you're nauseous), I was barfing again. Like...violently. IT HURT, MAN. Ron was soothing me, even though he wasn't feeling too well himself. I looked up at him, pain in my eyes, drool flying from my mouth and nose and said, "I don't think this hobby's gonna work out..."

I was in complete misery the entire time, wedged between one side and railing of the boat, staring hopelessly at the horizon. I did manage to salvage some of the soggy pills I'd tried putting down my throat earlier. It was disgusting, I had to scrape the bitter sogginess onto the back of my tongue and swallow. ANYTHING to get something down there and working to ease this suffering. I think I'd rather have a lead pipe through my skull than be nauseous, as it is the WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD to me... It wasn't long until I was yelling over the side again, with nothing coming out but the little bit of water I'd sipped. Once we FINALLY got there, I asked the nice medicine man if he could please give me two more pills so I could try to keep them down.

So I was unable to participate in the first dive because I was too sick to do anything but moan, let alone try and wrestle on a wetsuit. I watched as Ron and the others went in groups, trying to forget about my sickies. Then I slowly started to put my gear on. Once I had everything on, I started to feel a bit better. The captain and dive masters told me to go ahead and get in the water, that floating around would help. I got in a tootled around the boat for a bit, until I got cold. Yes, even though I had a full wetsuit, it was coooold. I hadn't put on my gloves and cap yet, so the chillies were seeping in. But by the time I got out of the water, everyone was starting to finish with the first dive and I was feeling much better. I even ate some watermelon.

The two dives I went on were great. Some parts FUH-REEEEZ-ING...but altogether great. I was able to catch up on the second dive with all the tests and practices our group had done on the first dive. So the medicine worked and my day was not completely ruined. I learned a very important lesson from this experience. I will never, EVER forego the seasick meds again! Being able to do something I have always dreamed of is worth a little discomfort but holy HELL...not that much!

Oh, and one more thing I've learned...we need to seek warmer waters for our next diving trip. Catalina has lovely kelp forests and some beautiful waters on some days, depending on conditions of course, but the water is often FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEzing!!! On the second dive I thought my toes were gonna fall off. Then I was cold on the boat ride home because all my clothes were WET. No wonder my head is still stuffy and I can't kick the leftover cough I got from the cold I had last week. *sigh* And I really wanted to get back into swimming at the Y again this week. DAMMIT. Maybe Thursday... I just hope this stuffy head crap goes away and I don't have a relapse.

That's it for now. I've been writing in here on and off all day. Time to end this post and end the day. Gotta go home and rest.

Snot bubbles

OH JOY! Izzit HUMP day already?! Where did the week go?? Well, it went right under my sheets, 'cause I've been in bed with a poopie nasty head cold for the past coupla days. I think I got it from the gross ocean we went diving in on Saturday morning. But I did it! I DID IT! I WENT DIVING AND LIVED! Not only did I live, I was actually comfortable! I remember smiling around my regulator when my ears finally stopped hurting and I wasn't feeling one bit of nauseous. I actually felt, RELAXED. Diving is the most relaxing thing one can do, if they're in the right frame of mind. Now that I know what I'm doing, I feel much better about the whole thing. I can't wait to keep getting those diving experiences under my belt!

I wish I could say Saturday morning's dive was as beautiful as it was early (we had to be there at 6 a.m., an hour drive, which meant we were up at 4:30 and out by 5:00 a.m.)... We were only able to see about 5 or 6 feet in front of us. The dive was great for experience though. It was a beach dive, which meant we had to get past the surf and in the water from the beach. Ya reeeally gotta watch for those waves when you've got 50 pounds worth of crap on your back. Once we were under we had to be sure to keep track of each other and stay close. Good thing there were only four of us. Ahh, well, California kinda sucks for diving. Unless you go to Catalina, which is where we're headed next weekend...YAY! I'm looking forward to that one.

So I finally told Ron about all that was on my mind...AGAIN. I told him that kids were off the table, that we've got other things to work on. Some of the more important points brought up included the fact that some of the things coming out of his mouth lately are VERY unhealthy and WRONG, therefore we need to see a counselor and that I'm setting it up soon, that he DOESN'T know everything, that although he is funny and has a good heart, he is also a very depressed, angry man who needs to STOP dwelling on his past mistakes, stop trying to drink it all away and work on a better future and, most importantly, that he has to get those fucking bikes out of the livingroom within a certain time frame because my patience (FOUR YEARS, PEOPLE) is UP! We had this "talk" on Monday and I could tell it upset him. But I kept my cool. I did raise my voice some, but at least I didn't start getting all cry baby and hysterical like I usually do. More importantly, I made him think again. So, I've decided that I'm only gonna give it a few more years. If we can't move past some of the things that have got us in their tendrils, then we're just not gonna make it. Period. Not without a fight, however, which I am more than willing to do because I love the guy. For now. But does love conquer all? HELL NO. And that's okay with me. THAT'S LIFE. IT IS WHAT IT IS, HONEY. Man, he hates it when I or anyone else says those things! But I'm trying to help him. If he doesn't want my help, fine. He doesn't get me, either. I'm no martyr, that's for sure.

Oh yes, and mister shithead who wrote the book responded to our email. I don't know if I mentioned that he wrote us a few weeks ago, as if nothing happened... As if the things he pointed out that were wrong with our finished, hand painted artwork were simple, easy things to fix. Oh man...we really let loose on him in an email. And then he responded...oh gawd, he's got to be the most dense person I have ever dealt with. I'll go ahead and post those next. For now I've got to finish up and get out of here because I'm starting to feel shitty again.

Swimmin' Tigers and Swimmin' minds

These incredible photos are of a White Bengal Tiger named Odin. Odin is six years old and 10 feet long from tail to nose. He lives at a Zoo in Vallejo, California, near San Francisco.

Odin was hand-raised at the zoo British trainer Lee Munro. And after he was weaned, his trainer discovered his remarkable skill. When a lump of meat was thrown into a pool of water, Odin would happily dive in after it."He makes a funny face - and it's actually to close his nostrils to stop the water from going into his nose."

Not all big cats enjoy the water but for Tigers from the hot climate of South-East Asia it's one way to cool down. "Plus they hunt in and around water. They're an ambush predator so they wait for prey to come down to the water." "When you actually see him dive underwater he looks so graceful," "Odin loves the water and he loves food," he said.

"Not all big cats will dive and swim underwater even for meat treats." Munro said tigers were the most powerful swimmers out of all land-dwelling animals.

Tragically, within our lifetimes, zoos might be the only places left to see these magnificent animals. (Did I not tell you there was always this part? Always gotta mention that good old MAN continues to fuck things up for the beautiful animals of the world!) A century ago there were about 100,000 tigers in the wild. Now there are just 2,500 adults, with the Bengal variety almost extinct. None has been seen in the wild since the last white tiger was shot and killed in 1958. White tigers are the most rare. They get their white color from an unusual and extremely rare genetic combination. I hope you enjoyed these photos as much as I did.


*sigh*


I wanna go visit and swim with Odin. The big, fluffy kha-hitty kha-HAT-t-t-t... Hehehehe!

It's so sad that man always has to dominate. Hoping there aren't any tragic "accidents" with Odin and his beloved trainer. Look at that magnificent animal. So much beauty and grace. Perfection, compared to the ratty and disgusting human being. We have proven that intelligence only goes so far. Intelligence without boundaries is a very dangerous thing.

Another dangerous thing has been going on lately... I've been thinkin' again. UHG-OOH. I'm getting a very strong urge to scrape a resume together and try to find myself a better gig. What can it hurt to go out and try? There are a couple of places I have in mind, why not give it a shot? I'll get over my fear, pull out the laptop and write up a lovely, updated version of my glorious, marketable skills. I am seriously bored with this job. I know part of it is because it's summertime and things are generally slow. The fucked up economy isn't helping. Now, I'm kind of a lazy person at times but this is rediculous. It's time to start thinking about my future. I've always known I can't stay here forever. This place is becoming a crutch. I know I can do better.

For now, however, I have a job to do. There are things to do, but I put them off. I need some stimulation, man. Someone give me a figurative fire up the anus. EWww... Now think about firey anuses whilst I get my working groove on.
Late.

He's a MACHINE!

I forgot to mention that we've been watching the Olympics quite a bit... I love the gymnastics and the swimming. This guy blows me away. I am SO HAPPY FOR HIM! CONGRATS, you darling man! You beat everyone and you we're evening trying to beat anyone but yourself!!! I mean, everyones going nuts with happiness for him and the camera pans in to show he's pissy 'cause he didn't beat his OWN time! HAHAHAHAHAAHA!!! That is the cutest, most humble thing I have ever seen. I so love and admire people like that. He deserves his victory. His attitude puts that arrogant, piece of shit Thorpe to shame.

YAY FOR THE CUTE SWIMMER!!!!

I just loves cute swimmers, yes I do...

That's all for now...

Life and Death

Well, hello there. Welcome to another Wednesday. It's been a nice week, so far. I took the day off yesterday to spend a much-needed day with my mommy. What a lovely mother/daughter day we had; complete with lunch, shopping and lots of gabbing. I even shared some of my childfree lifestyle thoughts with mom, who completely understood where I was coming from. Since this has been on my mind so much, I felt I really needed to come clean to my mom. It felt great to hear that she supports me in whatever path I choose to take. I'm very thankful to have great parents who not only raised me to be a smart, responsible adult, but also support me.

Okay, on to the scuba diving weekend... It was...A LOT. A LOT to spend on A LOT of equipment, A LOT to take in, A LOT of time and A LOT of water. Friday night we bought/rented all of our equiment including, but not limited to, mask, snorkel, fins, boots, gloves, BCD vest, tank, weights and wetsuit. Lordy. You ever try to put on a wetsuit? Not an easy task, especially in the humid changing room at the store. I struggled with one suit for 20 minutes, getting rubber burns on my fingers, all the while not even able to pull the thing past my knees, until I finally decided to go with the next size up. Not much easier to get on, but it eventually worked out. Oye. Saturday we had classroom workshop from 9 to 11 a.m., then break for lunch and meet at the pool for practice with our gear from 1:30 p.m. to 4:30/5 p.m. We were exhausted after that and could do scarcely more than eat and fall asleep. Sunday was a repeat of the same, 'cept we were in the pool 'til six. Oye. OYE. Tiring as hell, but oh so much fun.

This coming Saturday is the first ocean dive. *gulp* I'm doing well, able to breathe underwater/get around fine... I'm just nervous about going into the murky California ocean with all of this heavy shit strapped to my back. And it's gonna be OH SO VERY early in the morning...we are to arrive at 6:30 a.m. and it's an hour drive from home. I'm not a morning person, but I'll have to suck it up when the alarm goes off at 4:30 a.m. It's gonna be worth it!! But what if it's cloudy? What if it's FREEEZING? What if I lose my equipment? It'll be fine, I can do it. All I have to do is relax and think about how much I enjoy swimming in the ocean in general. Except this time I have to keep from being slammed in the head by a metal air tank, either mine or someone else's. Our group is cool though, seven of us including the instructor. We get along well so it should be fun. Wish me luck!

Speaking of exercising, I'm headed to the Y tonight for another workout in the gym. Yes. ME. The one who hates the gym. Well, this one is different...I used to go there for years back when I was swimming in high school and college. I like that it's a nice change of pace. I love being able to swim as well as utilize a gym full of equiment. Last Thursday I did the stationary bike for 45 minutes and it felt fabulous afterward! Gonna do that again today, plus some of the other machines. Not gonna swim 'cause I'm still a little waterlogged from the weekend.

Oh yea, and...damn... We lost Bernie Mac AND Issac Hayes... FUCK! What the HELL, man?! Okay, now that we've lost so many cool people lately, can't we start getting rid of the shitty ones? Not gonna name any names right now, but there are plenty of assholes in the entertainment industry that I wish would take the low road to hell...

And with that, I am off to eat some lunch. Yummy leftovers are calling my name...

Bye bye!

Simply Fishy

First of all... Wow, isn't THAT cool? I like reading about those kinda things. They'z inter-stin.

And now...

The one...

The ONLY...






SALTWATER TANK IN MY HOUSE!!!


Yes, most of these pictures are somewhat crooked. I'm too lazy to fix 'em. There's the whole tank, giant flash included.


This is Lenny Blenny with wire in front... Oh yeah, my shots are pRoFeSsIoNaL, bAbY.


Lenny streaking by, with flashing eye. Hehehe... There's Camero the Bristle Tooth Tang over to the right. The algea on the back is blotchy from Camero's little 'kisses' as he eats it.


Here's Happy Yellow Tang, Camero and Lenny to the upper right. I can't seem to get a good picture of that little turd, he's so FAST. But you'll notice here that he's still got his juvenile stripe. That's completely gone now. He's usually half purple in the front toward his head and half yellow in the back toward his tail. Uhm, hence the name Bicolor Blenny. And sometimes he flashes little white spots up and down the side of his body and at the corners of his little mouth, usually at feeding time.


Here's a shot that does Coop the Pygmy Angelfish very well. Those half-inflated inner-tube looking things sticking out of the white rock are mushrooms.


These are my newest polyps. It's a shame the word 'polyp' always reminds me of a colonoscopy. These are much more appealing, I think. They remind me of the Fire Power Flower from Mario Brothers. Duh-Duh DUH Duh-Dah DAH...DUH...


More polyps and mushrooms and a lovely Torch Coral.


Here's the sand starfish, aka, Little Pooobiefish.


Oop! There he goes...into the sand! Sometimes he'll hang out on the back of the tank. He's also a little algea muncher. Algea muncher...*snicker* He leaves cute little mouth marks, too. Hehe...


The Candy Cane Coral. It's always easier for me to remember the common name for these things. They've all got their scientific names but I can't remember those for the life of me.


This is another nice shot of the Torch Coral.


Peek-a-boo! It's Prestone the Watchman Goby. That's his little spot, he hangs out by or on that coral skeleton.


This is what that skeleton looked like in the beginning... It's gotten a lot of green and light pink algea on it, which is great! Means the tank is nice and healthy.


Hi Prestone!

And for the finale, we have some "creative" shots. Heh. Yea.


It's Kaleidoscope tank!


OOOOoooooOOOOooooOOOOoOoOoOOoOoo!


AAAAAAAaaaaaaaAAAAAAaHHHhhHhhHhhh!

Weren't those just BEAUTIOUS?!! It's so much fun watching this tank grow. I'm enjoying it thoroughly.

I can't wait to be able to swim in the ocean with these things. It's going to blow my mind...it'll be better than any drug/drink-induced trip I've ever had.