Morningview

Gee whiz, could Incubus' album "Morningview" possibly be about the process of breaking up? Every song touched a nerve this morning as I listened to it while driving to work. Especially "Mexico"...

"You could see me reaching
So why couldn't you have
Met me halfway
You could see me bleeding
But you could not put
Pressure on the wound

You only think about yourself
You only think about yourself
You'd better bend before I go
On the first train to Mexico

You could see me breathing
But you still kept
Your hand over my mouth
You could feel me seething
But you just turned
Your nose up in the air

You only think about yourself
You only think about yourself
You'd better bend before I go
On the first train to Mexico

You only think about yourself
You only think about yourself
You'd better bend before I go
On the first train to Mexico"

Yea, still struggling with shit on the brain. Trying to figure out what to do next. Trying to get the nerve to help myself. It will happen. There is hope.

Would you like to see a true example of the resentment and frustration that has built up inside? It's a beautiful email I wrote to a friend this morning. Warning, my language is quite 'flowery'...

"Happy Wednesday to ya. I hope you're okay today. I'm at work today and have tomorrow off. I need to spill a coupla things to ya.

First thing...Ron broke the bottom drawer on the plastic storage 'dresser' thingie I have in the closet. He said he'd replace it, no problem. That was like five months ago. I found out this morning that what he actually meant was that I was supposed to buy it and he'd pay me for it.

This morning he asked about it, as he was doing his laundry and saw the broken thing, repeating that he had to 'replace' it. I told him he could probably get one at the CVS or Target. He then said that he thought I was going to do it.

Am I crazy/selfish/rude/lazy to expect him to get his lazy fucking ass to the store and replace it for me? For fucks sake? Since HE fucking broke it?! What kind of goddamn motherfucking husband is he?? He KNOWS I hate to shop! What the FUCK?! So yea, I get this attitude from him as I calmly ask if he could please just replace it, as in GO TO THE GODDAMN FUCKING STORE AND GET ONE. IS THAT TOO FUCKING MUCH TO ASK?!"

Ahem.

That wasn't the whole email, just the fun part. This is not going to work, folks. This is not respect.

And this is where you say, "We know, WE KNOW. WHEN are you going to DO something about it?"

When I get the courage.