Craptastic

Yay. I've almost made it through another day. It's been decent, at least it's somewhat busy at work and I have things to do. Full time hours, too...don't forget that. All the things I used to take for granted... And hey, I've got my physical health for now. I should feel good about that. I was able to go jogging yesterday. It wasn't as miserable as I thought it would be.

See how the bad thoughts take over when I let them? What is it, every other week now? I know it's rediculous to carry on like that, but some days I just have to whine. That's what this unlimited server space is for, right? Rambling on about my endless insecurities. I think I should stay away from Fakebook and networking sites in general. Well, I try to keep it at a minimum anyway. There ARE some nice people on there who care.

What helps me is the fact that I am not alone. I try to think about it like that and it helps me feel better, at least for a little while. Moving on until I have another attack of the emotions...

In other exciting news, I finally went to the dentist after 8 years. I only have two cavities to fill... I've never had a cavity filled in my life and I'm 32. Not bad, I must say. I do need a deep cleaning of course, made my first appointment for mid-July. Before then I'd like to get this lousy permanent retainer out from behind my bottom front teeth. It's been in there for almost 17 years and it needs to go so I can keep those teeth clean. I've started flossing regularly again in the past six months and the damn retainer makes it impossible to get to those teeth.

I also need an implant. My front left bicuspid never came in and I've had a fake tooth for almost 20 years. First it was a fake tooth attached to braces and then a fake tooth on a retainer, which I've had ever since. I've replaced the retainer since, but it's time for another new one. Of course the dentist brought up an implant, but that shit is so expensive! I'd rather just keep the retainer, it's a great party trick and scares this shit out of unsuspecting people when you pop out your tooth at 'em. The thing is, the gum around the adjacent tooth is starting to recede so I'm going to have to do something about it pretty soon. I found out a bridge is out of the question now that the receding gum has made the one anchor tooth a little loose. Hell... I figure I'll start with the deep cleaning, get the cavities filled and go from there. At least I finally made it to the dentist.

The next thing I need to do is get these dark moles burnt off before we start going to the beach this summer. I've got two on my back and two on my face that I really want to take care of. They're potentially dangerous and I don't want to expose them to any more sun.

I've got another therapist appointment this Thursday. I was supposed to go last week but canceled it due to lack of funds. I know it's important, but I just don't want to spend my money on it. I have all these other things going on and now that I'm working full time hours again, I want to save! Ugh... Hopefully I'll get my book before the appointment so I can start reading so we can discuss it. Maybe I can get him to cut the price a little, too. Damnit if I didn't find a good therapist OUTSIDE my insurance again. I want to deal with this crap on my own, without meds and without a therapist. HAH! Who am I kidding?

Alright, time to get back to things. Later...