*sigh*
What was I saying earlier about my illustrious career? Well, I heard it on the Tom Leykis show. He happened to be talking about the evil of Unions and strikes and got into the fact that one usually makes what they are worth. They end up getting back what they put into their career. Makes complete sense to me.
It's just what I was saying earlier... I have so much potential, I'm very smart but I have this shitty attitude and horrible...I don't know...FEAR of life. I guess that's general anxiety for ya. I know, it's just a cop out, right? GRRRR! Ah, but it seems I don't like anything that leads to great success. Including, but not limited to: Stress, persistence, school, change, lots of work, long hours, responsibility (that's a big one, always afraid I'm onna fuck something up and when I think like that of course I DO)... It all scares the holy hell outta me. If I want to make what I'm worth, I have to put forth more of an effort. NO shit?! I know, it's so obvious is blinding.
I have to admit that I'm a weak person and generally lazy. Wow...what a difference from a few weeks ago when I was fresh with the whole job search thing. Touting myself, all high on the possibility of change. It only took a bit for reality to come back n' slap me upside the 'ol melon.
What was I saying earlier about my illustrious career? Well, I heard it on the Tom Leykis show. He happened to be talking about the evil of Unions and strikes and got into the fact that one usually makes what they are worth. They end up getting back what they put into their career. Makes complete sense to me.
It's just what I was saying earlier... I have so much potential, I'm very smart but I have this shitty attitude and horrible...I don't know...FEAR of life. I guess that's general anxiety for ya. I know, it's just a cop out, right? GRRRR! Ah, but it seems I don't like anything that leads to great success. Including, but not limited to: Stress, persistence, school, change, lots of work, long hours, responsibility (that's a big one, always afraid I'm onna fuck something up and when I think like that of course I DO)... It all scares the holy hell outta me. If I want to make what I'm worth, I have to put forth more of an effort. NO shit?! I know, it's so obvious is blinding.
I have to admit that I'm a weak person and generally lazy. Wow...what a difference from a few weeks ago when I was fresh with the whole job search thing. Touting myself, all high on the possibility of change. It only took a bit for reality to come back n' slap me upside the 'ol melon.
I had to come home and write this... Now I have to go out and jog in the dark, chilly evening. Must. Force. Myself. Hey, at least I have some discipline, eh?
1 comment:
Don't beat yourself up, chica. We make what we're worth to a point. Some people, like the people who make $74 an hour bolting doors on cars, are overpaid. Others, like teachers, are underpaid.
I suffer from the same lack of motivation, though. It's common among creative types: We have great ideas and we could really go places with them, if only we had the follow-through. I mean, hell, I can't even keep the same blog going for more than a couple of months at a time!
Hang in there. You've got a lot on your plate right now. And hella kudos on jogging.
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