Just when you think...

You couldn't possibly communicate with your husband LESS during the week...

Guess what?  Now he's working at a fucking school that gets shitty cell reception.  So the phone is constantly searching for a signal, therefore depleting the battery unnecessarily.  So he turns it off when he goes to work.  Isn't that great?!  Could I POSSIBLY GET MORE ISOLATED over here??!  On top of that, it hasn't been a great week for us.  We had our usual circular argument about his crap all over the place again.  I think I'm doing better, I think I'm doing what he wants and then he has to get a dig in during one of our stupid phone conversations yesterday.  I tried to ignore it, but I got a little snippy because I am just TIRED of the whole conversation.  So then he goes to work and it's silence all night.  I texted him to no avail.  Then I get up in the morning and leave his sleeping carcass on the couch.  Is this how marriage is supposed to be?  This fucking SUCKS.  I really don't feel like this is healthy.  Okay, enough...I'm sure I'll have an update in a few days about how we talked and blah blah blah...  But will it ever get RESOLVED?  Like I've said before, I see counseling in our future.  

On to other shit...  This week, as a whole, hasn't been too great.  Monday I was stressed at work because I realized just HOW MUCH I have to do.  Both for work and the side project.  So I was trying to get shit done all day, hopping from one thing to the other 'til the day was finally over.  Then I went to meet up with the two girls Cathy for dinner and a hang out 'cause it'd been a while again since we hung out.  Lemme tell ya, trying to get to Cathy's apartment from a different direction (coming from work instead of home) is impossible.  EV-ERy time I try to go to her house from work, I get lost.  I thought I remembered the right way this time, until I found myself all turned around again.  Thank God for cell phones, right?  Well, now that you can only drive with a hands free device, I decided to pull over and call Cathy for directions from where I was.  Yea.  Call Cathy for the first time, start driving, get lost again, call Cathy for the second time, continue driving while she's explaining, think I know where I'm going, hang up, get lost, call for the THIRD time, start having the 'ol familiar panic attack on the phone, breathe, think I'm going the right way and hang up again, call for the FOURTH time (this time I totally freaking out behind the wheel) continue driving to where I think I'm s'posed to go, realize I'm going the wrong way again, scream in the phone to Cathy, apologize for freaking out on her, SUDDENLY REALIZE I'M GOING THE WRONG WAY ON A ONE WAY STREET, start screaming/crying, "OH MY GAWD, IT'S A ONE WAY STREET!!!!!" *BEeeeeeePPpp* *HONK* "AAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!"....

I finally made it to Cathy's a half hour late, but alive.  We had a good laugh at least.  The rest of the night was nice, we ordered some yummy Italian take out, talked and played on our computers.  Yes, come to find out good 'ol Cathie (the other one...hehe) has a MacBook, too!  So she started showing all the fun things I can do with iMovie.  She's so good at that program!  It's supposedly very easy to learn, as are many things on a Mac, but I need time.  I have to break down and read the 'help' instead of trying to figure it out myself.  So that was fun, got home late from that and waited up for Ron.  Got to say hi for about five minutes before I was dead to the world.

Tuesday was okay, I went for a nice jog, the first one I was able to go on since I wrecked my muscles snowboarding.  It was great because my calves didn't hurt like I expected them to.  It'd been a week since I exercised and my calves always get kinda burnie on the first jog in a while.  I guess all that burning on the mountain got 'em in shape!  Anyway, I got home and did my usual shit around the house, let the birds out...  Well, when it was time for birdy bed, everyone complied except for Mr. not hand tamed Punkin'.  Little shit flew out of the cage as I was getting ready to close the door.  So I got pissed and chased his little ass around the apartment, thinking I could kinda knock 'im out of the air onto the floor and cup him in my hands.  That wasn't working too well, especially when I grabbed the big birdie ladder I have and started swinging away, trying to corral him into a spot on the play gym where I could grab him.  Not a good idea.  In my haste, I accidentally knocked the poor guy off the back of the cage...  He hit the floor stunned.  GAWD I HATE THAT!  It made me feel so horrible I picked him up and stood there stroking his little stunned birdy head, crying my eyes out.  Then I could tell he was feeling a little better and coming to because he suddenly started biting the holy shit out of me, as he usually does when I have to restrain him.  I put him back in the cage and notice that his beak was a little scratched up.  I feel like such an asshole...  He seems okay, but he's still kinda quiet.  I'll see how he is tonight when I let them out.  Fuck...  Letting the birds fly free in the house is fun, but I have to remember to be careful.  I hope I don't lose this one.  *sigh*

Well that's about it for now.  I gotta go.  Oh yea, and I'm employing the new rule...when at work, I can only use the Mac to check emails/play around.  No more work computer playing.  I have to concentrate on work.  It's okay to take a break to check email once in a while, but I think having to do it on another computer will help me to cut back some.  Yea.  

Time to go and pick up that prescription I tried to get Tuesday but instead of waiting ten minutes like the little bitch behind the counter said, it turned into 40 minutes and I ran outta patience.  I hate errands.  Fuck.  Shit.  Bye.

Investment in the future

I'm am typing this entry on my brand new MacBook, purchased this past Friday.  I did it.  I invested in my future.  I am going to use this computer as a tool to help me with my art career.  It doesn't matter how long it takes me, I will be successful in one way or another.  Making money is always an option.  But being happy is the most important thing.  I think I'm on my way.  Never have I felt so good about making such a large purchase.  I figure that's a very good thing and I should go with it.  So I am.  And here we go...

Trippy week

My boss and I went to a local convention this week. Although it was pretty close to home, about an hour away (2 hours in horrible LA traffic), we decided to stay at the nearby hotel during the show.

I had dreaded this show for obvious reasons... Spending two whole days with my boss, being away from my husband and pets and all the lousy work that goes into displaying your company at a convention. There's packing the company van with all of the items we'll need, from our products to rubber bands and pens, unpacking the car when we arrive at the convention center, setting up the booth with a nice display of product (we had quite a large one), standing around doing nothing but selling for two business days (9 ~ 6, NO COMPUTER or INTERNET! AAAAAAA!!) and, of course, taking it all down and loading it all back into the car for the trip home. *whew*

Well, once again I am very glad I had this experience. I got a chance to really talk to my boss about what was on my mind. Tuesday night, after we'd set everything up, my boss and I had a nice dinner at the hotel restaurant. It felt so good to just be honest and lay it all out on the table. I was able to see just how many benefits I DO get from this job. I also realized, yet again, just what a great boss I have. She listens. She tries to help me in so many ways. She wants to see me be successful, either at her company or somewhere else. I think that she's more than just a boss to me, she is a mentor as well. I've learned so much from her and I can't forget that.

The last entry was the result of letting someone get into my head again, making me think that they know better than me. Of course they mean well, but...

*sigh*

Damn insecurity! It STILL has to creep up on me! DIE, INSECURITY, DIE!!!! I have to remember that only I know what's best for me. Yes, I am at my five year mark at a company and it made me think about my future goals. That is a very good thing. This trip made me reassess those goals and realize that I am indeed on the right track. I should keep doing what I'm doing because it is right for me. Now, this doesn't mean I'm going to put blinders on and not look at any other opportunities. It's still a good idea to keep your eyes open an' that's what I'ma gonna do. 'Cause I have more talent than I realize. YES I DO!

Now, onto other things... The only other thing, actually...Ron and I went snowboarding in Big Bear on Sunday! Since his mom lives an hour into the trip, Ron decided it would be a great idea to take her to dinner and spend the night on Saturday night, then get up eeeeeeeeearly and head up the rest of the way to Big Bear. It was such a FABULOUS weekend!!! We enjoyed his mom and our day in the snow. I hadn't been boarding since my first time almost two years ago, but it's like I picked up where I left off. Don't get me wrong, I still SUCK, but I'm getting better! Yes, I still fell on my ass several times, but I managed to get more of a feeling for actually staying UP longer. AND, I was wearing all my own gear, including new boots! So I felt much more comfortable and had a great time.

We knew it was a risk go up on such a stormy predicted weekend, but it turned out perfect. It was a gorgeous day because we were above the storm most of the day, until it moved in at around 2. Then we had to drive down the hill in a snow storm! We were VERY lucky to get off the mountain. Poor Ron was so nervous driving that he got a nose bleed! Poor guy... It was awesome to watch a snowstorm...me being a native Califronian, I think this was my first! Even in the car, driving down scary snowy roads (we were in traffic tho, so it went really slow) I felt so excited and...unbelieveably COZY. Crazy, I know, but it was SO FUN!!! And talk about a hilarious coincidence, we turned on the radio as soon as we got off the mountain and it was Barry Manilow belting out, "Looks like we MADE IIIIiiit!" HAH! Perfect.

So that was my week. In' it LOVELY?! Yea. 'Kay, I've gotta work work work now. I wanna get this shit done so's I kin go HOME! Happy Super Bowl, ya'll!

Bird invasion

It's been a good week. Yesterday I hung around after work and played with photoshop again. Guess what? Mike Patton now has two lovebirds, look!



Hehehe... Yea.

So I'm feeling like I need a change in the job situation because I'm almost at my five year mark at this company. When the asshole (ex-boss) left last January, I thought I'd stick around and see what would happen. The year flew and here I am. I think it's about time for me to move on. I have to start looking at other options because I know that I can't stay here much longer. I do not like the industry I'm in. I never have. I just put up with it because I needed to learn and get some tenure at a company. Now I've reached my goal of five years and it's time to start looking. I need more people around, a more interesting industry and more benefits. Actually, SOME benefits would be nice. I like small companies, but this place is TOO small. Most of all, I'm really ready for a CHANGE.

One step at a time...I can do this.

Afraid of Change

In case you haven't noticed, I seem to be in a sort of rut lately. Granted, I just got married, I'm working on my art more, doing more at work and living in a different place than I was a year ago, but... I'm in a rut. It's time for a big change and I think it needs to happen with my career path. I guess it takes someone telling you that you're basically wasting your time, that you're being taken advantage of and not getting paid what you're worth. Not only is that humbling, it's also quite depressing.

Now I feel like I've been settling, that I haven't moved on because I am afraid of it. There is so much out there that I'm not even aware of because I've been resting my laurels at this place. I am afraid that I'm not good enough, that I can't take the stress... All excuses.

But I guess on the other hand, I AM happy with where I'm at. I can handle what I do on a daily basis, without extreme stress. Yes, sometimes it's boring, but not all the time. Still, my gut is telling me the free ride is over, that it's really time to move on. I've been pushing the feeling aside and it's time to really examine my options. As scary as it seems, I have to push aside my stupid, anxious fears and get a resume together. A brand-spankin' new resume...put it out there. It can't hurt to put out some feelers. I don't have to settle for less. I will be worth more, eventually.

For now I can tell myself I'm doing fine. Life is not about having things, about being important. I'm doing the best that I want to do right now. It's up to me to move on.

The Definition of Friendly...

...is liking people, not wanting people to like you.

Don't Judge.

Don't Expect.

Do be real.

Stop complaining and DO something about it!

I went to the pet store last Thursday to get Rosie some crickets and happened to start a conversation with a nice woman about what we feed our cats. That lead to talking about our love of animals in general and me saying I also love to draw animals and to draw in general. Next thing ya know, the lady introduced herself and invited me to come by the book store she works at sometime. She said there are lots of friendly artists and animal lovers that hang out there and at the coffee shop in the front. The store happens to be only a few blocks from where I work, so I decided to visit it on Friday night.

I'm SO glad I did! The lady (Lily) made me feel very welcomed and introduced me to some of the "regulars". The book store was awesome, carrying lots of rare books and gifts. After looking around the store for a bit I decided get a smoothie from the coffee shop, sit down and draw at one of the cozy little tables. Before long I was talking to the regulars, drawing and relaxing. It was a great social exercise and I'm going to do it much more often. It's just that easy! AND I got a drawing that I've been dreading done. Well, not all done, but sketched. It's turning out perfect! I'll be sure to post it when I'm done.

The weekend was nice and lazy. I got nothing else done. Well, except for spending WAY too much money at the bird store on Saturday night. Ron had to go to one of his far away storage units and there happens to be a cool bird store nearby. I asked him to drop me there while he got the things he needed from storage. I didn't want him there 'rushing' me. Well...maybe I should have had him stay! I was like, "OH, they need this toy and that toy and this food and that cozy house..." I got them another hanging "boingy" rope toy so that we could hang it from a hook across the livingroom from their cages. I made it into a hanging play gym with lots of toys so they can fly back and forth. Now they've got three "stations" for when they're out...the playgym on top of their cages, the baskets in front of the window in the kitchen and the boingy above the fish tank. Spoiled much? Naaahhh!!

Okay, well I'm off to finish up for the day. Boss is back and things are rollin'. Later!

And then I wrote an email...

And told him EVERYTHING I feel, AGAIN. It always feels good to get it out. Then we talked like adults. And he explained everything he feels. And just like that, we are 'municatin'. Emotional turmoil is over. Until I decide to freak out again. I will try to be more aware of this as it's coming on. Be rational about it. Stop mulling the same bullshit over in my head until I have no choice but to spew it all over the damn place. I will save the email I sent him in case I've gotta use it again. We WILL continue to move FORWARD.

I finally got Sirius

And it's WONDERFUL!!!! My brother helped me install it (well, he did the whole thing, actually) in my car last night. Ahhh...now I never have to scream and turn the channel when the foo fuckers or red hot chili faggots come on 'cause I've got so many options it's rediculous! I'm so glad I finally did it. I can even listen to it on the internet! I will never want for a different mix of music again.

Well, that's about all I'm happy about for now. I had another bad day yesterday. My emotions took over again. I got all carried away with my lonliness. Yep, Ron's back to nights. I'm terrible at masking the fact that I'm VERY PISSED about that.

*rrrrrriiiiiiiiiiing*
*click*

Ron ~ "Hi honey, whatcha doin'?

Bitchy me ~ "Sitting here watching Two and a Half Men...ALONE. AGAIN." *ssssssssssiiiiiiggggghhhhhhh*

Must. Stop. Feeling...sorrrrrry for my...selfff... This isn't going to go on forever, right? I have plenty of things to do, people to see...then why don't I feel like doing it? It's just the big let down. It'll pass and I'll go on with life like I always do. I just wish Ron would try to be more understanding when I need it. I know all about tough love and grin and bear it but, FUCK...it WOULD be nice to get some support when you're down. Even if there is nothing that can be done. Just a few nice words without attitude. Maybe an I don't blame you. Or maybe I didn't hear that part because I was too busy whining and bitching about the inevitable.

*sssssssssssssssssssssssssssiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh*

And Myspace. Don't get me started on that lame shit. If I don't stop getting insulted by people who don't have common courtesy I'm going to have a fucking aneurism. It's not common courtesty they lack, it's TIME. Stop stop STOP expecting! I was doing so well with that after I dropped Whoreface. I actually looked up her stupid name, 'I rock these red chucks' the other day and it didn't come up. Hmmmm...so I went to a picture she'd left a comment on and saw that there is now a TM at the end of her name. I guess I knew it was coming. She is now one of the OFFICIAL whores of Myspace. She must be so proud. No, I didn't go to her page because I just can't take it anymore. Fuck her. Oh wait, everyone already is! Gawd though, you should see the horrible blog I wrote there yesterday. Another rant about hating people. But saying I hate people only denotes how much I hate myself. I think. I don't even fucking know anymore.

I wish Ron read this damn thing. Then he might be able to understand me more. Ah, but he's a man and has NO INTEREST in learning how to deal with my emotions. No no, that's way too much WORK for him. Heaven's to Betsy, why on EARTH would he do something so demanding as READING? It's all emotional blather to him and he's doing a great job making it clear that that's just what he thinks. But he tries. He does. Then he doesn't see that I'm trying, too. Boy, the first year of marriage is GREAT.

Yea, guess who I just got a call from... Mmmm-hmmm, cover it up and say you're happy honey. I appreciate your honesty. Yup, I'm a big pain in the ass. Thanks.

I'd better stop. I'm getting no where.

It's OH-ATE

HI 2008. Happy New Year. It's been good so far. These four days. I hope to continue this trend of lovlies. And it's raining. I'm shitting rainbows over here 'cause I just LOVES the rain!

Hmmm...news... We saw Devin yesterday! One day is all we had, but it was fun. So great to see the guy, he's so full of fun energy. Gawd, I think that's it for now. I've been a lurker lately. Not in too much of a mood to write on here.

I'm looking forward to the new year. Settling in and living life. Yea. I need to get out more, too. Maybe I'll finally volunteer at a parrot rescue or something so's I can meet new people. As much as I hate people, I sure do like to meet new ones. Especially ones that hate people as much as I do. And when I say people, I mean stupid people. I'm trying not to focus on it, I really am. I'm gonna go have some soup now.

This entry brought to you by...




My ass.



Have a nice day.


:)

Pet portraits

This is Glory in all her...Glory. I drawd a pet portrait. I luvs African Greys. They's so perrrdy.

So far so good...

This entry brought to you by Cuteoverload.com with 'Catsterbation'...

Welp, 2007 is coming to a great close. Yes, it is the last week of the year! I had a wonderful Christmas and am looking forward to a fun New Year's Eve...whatever we end up doing. Apparently, our lil' 'ol pal Devin (dude we visited in China a few years back) is coming in that day. Haven't seen him in almost two years.

Other than the fact I'm working this week, not much is going on. Well, not much of interest/I feel like writing about. Of course I SO WISH I was on VACATION. But it's not to be. I'm hoping to take a week off sometime early in the new year. Maybe Ron can take some time off with me. HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAA!!!! Right. At least I hope he can attach a day or two onto a weekend so we can take our road trip up to San Francisco. I miss it up there and Ron has never been... We must go soon.

Soon, I tell you. SOOOOOOOOOOoooon!

And then we have this, a nice follow up to the link I posted to "Dooce" the other day. This was written by her lovely husband in regard to living with a depressed person.

"Get Help...
To the people out there who denigrate mental health awareness and treatment, I say this: You aren’t helping. You are making it worse. Stop being an arrogant know-it-all. You aren’t right. You are wrong. If someone tells you they need help, your opinion means less than that of professionals. Stop being ignorant. Stop being obstinate. Stop insisting that your loved one, partner, child or co-worker “get over it”. They won’t get over it until you let it go and encourage them to seek help. There are many different approaches and ways to treat mental diseases and conditions. The first step is letting go. You could probably use some time talking it out yourself.

As with anything in relationships, it's an ongoing thing, Ron and I dealing with our respective issues. This blurb here might come in handy some day soon.

That's it for the report on my ever-fascintating life. I probably won't be back 'til the new year, that is, unless something reportable happens.

Later!

A wonderful post about depression and anxiety...

Thank you, Dooce, for yet another beautiful post on this subject. Sure, it would be great to be able to get off the stuff, but it's been working for me so why stop a good thing? I know that I suffer from chronic anxiety and have been for a looooooong time. As far back as I can remember, I've always been a worrier. It's nice to have to edge taken off that worry, to have the gut of despair subside. Tell me I'm a pussy and I should buck up and deal all you want. Fuck you, I am not weak. I KNOW what my problem is and I did something about it!

And it's a 180!

Caused by communication. Yes, Ron and I actually communicated again this weekend. Things aren't as bleak as I made them sound a couple of days ago. Why on earth should they be? Life goes on!

We had a wonderful weekend. Turns out Ron got to spend it with me! He called me Friday afternoon to tell me that they weren't going to start the big project until this morning and that it's 10 hour days (6 a.m. ~ 4:30 p.m.) instead of 12 to 16 hours. So he got to go to BOTH parties with me on Saturday. We had a great time, too. Except I'm such a party pooper and I got so tired at Lisa's birthday party. I still made it 'til 11:30 though! Shit, what a pussy I am now... Anyway, it all turned out fine. He got to be social with me AND we get to spend the next several evenings together! That's what I get for having my little hissy fit, huh. I guess so.

Have I mentioned that I have the sweested mother-in-law EVER? She came to our annual Christmas party on Saturday, also. It was the first one for her as part of the family. Let me start off by saying that she and Ron are very thankful because they never really experienced what it's like to be part of a large, close family. Granted, it does take some getting used to but Ron is doing so well. So MIL pulled me aside and said she had something special for me. She then handed me a locket that was her mothers (the one in Alaska that just passed). It's lovely, gold with preserved forget me nots (the Alaskan state flower) embedded on the front. She told me to open it and inside were tiny pictures from our wedding, one of Ron and I and the other of my parents. I know... AAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWwwwwwwwwwwaaaawwwwwww!!!!! I almost died of feelings. Overwhelming, swirly heart feelings. I had tears in my eyes as I thanked her profusely. The proud look on her face was priceless. It was just...special. OKAY?!

Man, what a turnaround from last week. I'm going to survive after all. And I got all my Christmas shopping done with Melanie yesterday! Now I can't wait 'til Christmas! Amazing, isn't it?

So now it's time to send out the Christmas cards for work. Here's the final product...



Awww. Okay...later!

I told you

Here he is. He looks a little perturbed and I can't say I blame him. You see, no one gives a shit anymore. That makes me sad, too.

Lonely

When people ask me how married life is, I'm tempted to say, "Very lonely". Ron's schedule continues to suck ass. He hasn't worked days since February. I come home to an empty house every night. It's getting really REALLY old. I'm a newlywed for chrissakes! I miss my damn husband! Yes, we have the weekends but...that's not enough. I want to be able to come home and eat dinner with my husband.

To make matters worse, he has been chosen to finish up a project, along with one other guy, for the next 15 days or so. Starting this Saturday, yes, THIS SATURDAY, the Saturday of our big annual family Christmas party, the first one since we've gotten married, he must start working 12 to 16 hour days so that they can finish up this school before the stupid kids come back from the holidays. So, not only can't he come to the party, he's gonna be working working working working for days on end. Isn't it GREAT being low man on the totem pole, honey? Is it MY fault you're starting your third new career? And this fabulous schedule is gonna put him in a WONDERFUL mood, too! I can't WAIT. If I think he's always tired now, just WAIT 'til he has to get up at five! He's gonna have NO time to help me finish shopping, NO time to help around the house and NO TIME for me. Yay! But he'll make lots of money! Lots of money not to go toward savings, no...no no...it's gonna go toward his school loan debt! Woopie! I know that's a good thing, though. He's been doing very well as far as paying off his debts. That's really not his fault. Really...

Yea, I'm being a total, horrible brat right now. It's THE long overdue rant. Typical. And being a tad bit...sarcastic? Maybe? I'm just getting SOOOooo fucking tired of this. I hate talking on the phone and that's all we do. I can't stay awake until he gets home. He's an asshole in the morning, if he's awake, and so am I. Well, I turn into an asshole when he starts picking on shit I do, stupid shit, like not closing the shower door all the way so the cat can't get in. I don't know how many times I have to tell him not to FUCK WITH ME IN THE MORNING. So fucking WHAT if the indoor cat wants to hang out in the fucking bathtub?! If you accidentally turn the water on his ass, he'll learn a lesson, won't he? WHY does that matter?? Better not be too noisy or I'll wake sleeping beauty, who doesn't have to get up for another fucking four hours. And if ANYTHING goes missing, I'd better have my story straight. You know, 'cause it's MY fault. I'm the fogetful dorkus who always loses shit and can't do anything right the first time.

No, I'm not bitter at all! Why do you ask? Alright, I'd better be good. Baby Jesus is coming. Bye bye.

cRoOkEd

Mmmm-hmmm...that first picture down there shows my beautiful, crooked glasses. I really need to stop by the eye place and get the damn things straightened out. It's starting to look like one of my ears is sliding off my face. Kay. That's it for now. Stay tuned for Baby Jesus!

I did it again...

This is my new haircut. No, my NEW new haircut. I did it myself...again. It took me three days, but I got it right! I took my time and made sure that everything was even. I still can't believe how well it turned out.

Ya see, I went for a haircut about a month ago. The lady I go to is good, but unfortunately, not as good as the arrogant asshole I used to go to. He knew curly hair, she does not. Plus, she refuses to 'cut' my hair. She's one of those who is afraid to cut it too short. I went with her style for a few weeks before I decided that I really wanted it short. Like...SHORT short. Especially since I did that chop job last month and ended up with parts that were too short to put in a ponytail anyway. I'd told her that I still wanted to be able to put it up and that's probably what held her back. Then I went to put it up in a ponytail last week 'cause it looked like shit and all these little peices kept falling down on the sides. So I went home and finished the job. Sorta. I did a little on Tuesday, a little more on Wednesday and then finished it Friday night...before a Christmas party no less!

I showed up at Melanies before we went to the party. She was sitting at her computer and the look on her face when she looked up at me was priceless! She was so surprised!

She was all, "OH my God, Julie, your hair looks GREAT!"

And of course I'm all, "Thank you! You're not gonna believe this but I did it myself!"

And she's all, "OH MY GAWD!" and I'm all, "Yea man!" and she's all...

Well, you get the point...

I guess I was just bored with long hair altogether. And I look so cute with it all short and framing my face! I can't wait to surprise everyone with my adorableness (yes, that's a word) at the family Christmas party this coming Saturday. Woowee!

Okay, I've got lots to do again. Later!

Web comics

That first one says it all... These are some of my favorites from Natalie Dee. She is hilarious. I love to see her site doing so well, her sense of humor is beautiful. Go check it out, it's listed over there in the sites I visit on the upper right---->

It's been awhile since I checked out her drawing archives. Glad I did this morning, I needed that...

Harpy Hawlidars

Whuh...whut...whut day is it? DECEMBER 3RD???? HOLY SHIT! I've been in a coma for almost two weeks! I gotta get my shopping done! I gotta bake and buy hams and shit! OH MY GAWD!!!



Hehehehe... Me? Stressed about the holidays? Not this year! Really, I'm not. I'm so relaxed I can't believe it. This year I'm going to have FUN! It's our first Christmas as a married couple, among all the other things I have to be thankful for.



I haven't been in a coma, but I have been quite busy. Both at work and at home. I don't feel like writing about what I've been busy doing because it's nothing spectacular. I've been driving, jogging, relaxing, cleaning, drawing and getting up to do it all over again and again and again. Yay. My life is infinitely fascinating, I know.



And speaking of drawing, I was gonna post the latest finished, inked drawing...







This, and one other of my finished drawings have now been sent to the wonderful lady who is going to bring them to life with color. I'm so excited to see my drawings after they've been colored by her. She is as talented with color as I am with lines.



Hmmm...what else is happenin'...



Oh yea, Ron and I went to a really bad metal show the Friday after Thanksgiving. It was at this show, amongst the usual riff-raff dressed in black with various piercings, that we decided we'd had enough of this shit. Well, Ron anyway, since he's the one who's been going to these types of shows, and many others, since before I got my period.



This particular band, called 'Down', started out as a side project of Pantera singer Phil Anselmo. Let me start off by saying I'm not a huge fan of metal. Sure, there's plenty of metal I really love and/or appreciate, but the lot of it is like a drill to my skull. So I guess this little baby of Phil's is growing. The guitarist Pepper Keenan, from another successful metal band called Corrosion of Conformity, (another of Ron's faves) is also in the band...so it's no wonder they've taken off some. I figure the fan base combines followers from the other successful bands, plus a bunch of retarded young folk who have no idea that it's all been done before. Their particular brand of trash is called 'Southern Metal'. 'Kay, whatever you say, man. Sounds like shit to me. And I thought Mike Patton was a little on the arrogant side. At least he has the right to be. Mr. Phil had quite the ego that night. I just got this feeling...like I wanted to shoot him down. Okay dude, you survived drug abuse and the bad breakup of your previous band. Wooptie-do. Get over yourself.



So first we had to wait in line for an hour with the lame fans. During that hour, I decided that I really hate lip piercings. Not just the ones around the actual lip, but the ones that are like, in the middle of the chin? OUCH. Makes you look like the hooked fish that got away. Ugh. I'm getting old. Anyway, once we finally got in we headed to the balacony, so as not to get mixed up with all the sweaty psychos when the show started. Ah, we escaped the sweaty psychos, but not the stupid ones. We sat behind a group of four made...two of the most antsy couples I've ever encountered. The fuckers couldn't stay in their seats, or row for that matter, for longer than ten minutes before one, two or three of them got up and left. Back and forth, back and forth. One of the guys, who looked to be about 40, was so very obnoxious... He had to scream, "I said GOD-DAYAM!" after every song. It took forever for the show to start. Instead of a another band opening for them, they showed us a projected film documentry. Of them. And their roots. For an hour. Yea, we got to watch several burnt performances from the 70's on film including, but not limited to, Kiss (oh dear God), Lynard Skynard and Free. These performances were interspersed with clips of the band (Down) travelling in their van, playing riffs and fucking off. Oh, to be a performer.

Anyway, we left when we realized the ear-splitting sound was not going to get any better. And of course "Oh GOD-DAYAM" boy didn't help either. So we're going to stop with the metal shows for a while...actually, shows altogether. I wouldn't mind going to a few smaller venues, but nevermind the bigger shows...unless it's Mike Patton.

Well, that entry got long. I'm gonna go now. Time to get some artichokes for din din. Later!

Better buns

My buns are fine. And so am I. I felt so much better yesterday. Turns out my little weird bout of depression and sickies was from the dreaded Pee-EM-Esss. Dirty bastard. Yup, the painters are in and the hysterics are out. For now.

Last night I did it again. I sat down at the table and drew! Stay tuned for the next inked drawing! Being productive feels good. I also went for an evening jog after work. It'd been over a week. It's strange, my leg muscles actually started getting sore the other day, like they do following a workout after there's been a bit of a gap in my exercise routine. My legs were sore like I'd worked out hard the day before...but it'd been almost a week. What, were they 'reminding' me to get back to exercising with a shot of some lactic acid pain? Odd.

Well happy Thanksgiving eve. One of my favorite holidays. No gifts, no pre-parties, no hassle...just stuff yourself silly all day long. Aaahhh...that's my kinda day.

Sick

Heh. Lookit thuh kewt liddle fuzzie nozez... *sniffies*

I'm feeling yucky today. It wasn't a good weekend. I spent most of it sleeping, trying to stave off whatever this might be. Didn't help that both Ron and I had the same sort of depression affliction all weekend. Just shitty and bickery.

I did manage to go through some more boxes and such...got rid of some old clothes to make room for the buttload of new (old) clothes I got from Lisa, my lovely ex-shopoholic friend. This was apparently from one of her last sprees a few years ago. Many of the clothes haven't even been worn and if so, very little. I also got a few pairs of shoes, some belts and a couple of purses and bags. I'm SET! Thanks, Lisa! I'm happy for her and her credit that she's gotten over the shopping, but I'm sure going to miss all the free clothes!

So I made up some bags of old clothes, stuffed animals and knick-knacks I don't need anymore. It's a life-stage clean up. Time to get rid of a lot of the old, used junk I've had since I first moved out of my parents house. Gonna make a stop at good 'ol Goodwill on the way home today.

At least that little clean up accomplishment makes me feel good... I didn't get much of anything else done these past few days. I don't know what it is, but I've been feeling so down and under the weather again lately. Oh yea, I almost forgot to mention that I threw up all over the bathroom floor last night while I was sitting on the potty. It was such a beautiful scene. Once it started flowing, I couldn't make it stop. It was the weirdest thing because I didn't even feel that sick. I just started coughing and the next thing I knew I was choking and puking all over the floor. Poor Ron was scrambling for the paper towels, yelling at me to please aim for the tub or the toilet and I couldn't do anything but sit there and spew at the wall. Once we got the lake of barf cleaned up, I went to bed. Didn't have too much trouble waking up this morning, but I'm still feeling blah in my head and stomach.

Okay, time to stop with the pointless drivel and get back to work. I have so much to do today. Ughghghggghggggghh....

Three whole years, a haircut and a Toby

Yesterday marked the three year anniversary of Ron and my first date. He had Monday off so we were able to celebrate that night with a special home cooked meal together. Poopsie made us some scrumptulous stuffed chicken breasts, green beans and red potaters. We ate our yummy din din, sipped wine and cuddled. In' nat sweeeeeeeeeet? Yea, it was sweet. Hah, it's only been three years and it feels like it's been so much longer...in a good way! And forward we go...

In other news, I decided to chop the shit out of my hair last night. Myself. Mmmm-hmmm, it was buggin' me again. Too long, heavy and shapeless. Kept getting all in my face and sticking to my lips. So I thought I'd "trim" it around my face a little. You know how when you start something and then ya gotta finish it? The 'ol can 'o worms dilemma? Yea. I'm standing in front of the bathroom mirror tilting my head and clipping away. "Woops, this part's longer than that one..." *flip* *clip* *clip* "Oh, now that's too long..." *flop* *snip* *snip* "OH SHIT, I better STOP while I still have hair!" It's really not that bad though. No one has noticed yet. Not Ron, not my boss, not my coworker. I would never have done such a thing if my hair were straight. "No, my hairdresser isn't blind, why do you ask?" Remember that scene from "Sixteen Candles" (google) where the popular, pretty drunk chick gets her hair caught in the bedroom door and her friend cuts her free with those big ass scissors? I was just short of doing that to myself last night. I'm not too skilled at cutting my own hair. 'Specially when I'm going for the back. Glad I stopped while I was ahead. Don't know WHAT the hell I was thinking but at least it was fun!

So here are some pics I took with Rons new camera over the weekend. I spritzed Toby with the spray bottle and he looked so cute I just had to take a picture. Liddle tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinies...





And guess who's watching the whole thing intently?



Why little Henry of course!!! Hah!

Okay, time to get on with the day. But before I go...can someone please press the 'winter' button for California? I'm really sick and tired of this fucking hot weather. I'm wearing FLIP FLOPS IN NOVEMBER! This is rediculous! Thanks for the global warming, people!

Prosperity

I love this bracelet, Cathie. I was taking some pictures for work and decided to snap a shot of it. It's so cool! This picture was taken with our new camera that we got here at the office a few months ago. The thing takes amazing pictures just on the auto setting!



I had to get all artsy fartsy on this one... I've never been able to take a shot like that. I love doing the blurry in the foreground/backround focus on another object artsy shit. Yea.

So I was cruelly jolted back to reality yesterday during my jog. This is what happened... I'm coming down a hill onto the corner of a busy street with a gas station. An attendant is changing the gas prices on the sign with a big, tall pole tool thingy. I jog by and stop at the corner to wait for the light to change so's I can cross the street, right? Well, I'm leaning against the lamp post, sorta drifting into a daydream as I listen to music and watch the music video of the world unfold around me...

*THWACKK!!!*

The pole mister attendant was using must have slipped out of his hands 'cause next thing I knew it was slamming me in the left shoulder, right on the bone! I whipped around and let loose a stream of obscenities in the guys face, "You stupid fucking IDIOT!!! Watch what the fuck you're doing, you shithead!!!" The look on his face went from a shocked apology to just plain shocked as he turned away. He took off toward the station, probably to tell his boss what had happened. I stood there rubbing my shoulder in disbelief. By then the light had changed and I decided to continue on my way. I know the poor guy didn't mean for the pole to hit me, it was obviously an accident. My first response was pissed because not only did it hurt, it startled the holy shit outta me! But then I figured that yelling insults at the guy was enough punishment for him. As I jogged, the pain went away. As of this morning, I have a little purplish spot on site of the slam. Should make a little bruise, no big deal. Just so long as he missed my head, I'm in good shape. I bet someone is gonna wear some gloves with a nice rubber grip next time...or at least I HOPE so.

Pwah... Strange things were afoot at the Mobile station.

Awright, time for work. Boss is out of town and it's a little slow today. Ah, but there's always SOMETHING that needs to be done. Going to be productive again... Later!

Tooooooooozdee

Happy Tuesday. It was another wonderful weekend. Friday was my grandpa's funeral and it was nice to see my mom's side of the family again. The wake was held at a yummy Italian restaurant and of course I ate way too much. Enough to have to unbotton the top of my pants halfway through the meal. Or one of the meals, I should say. I had at least two full meal helpings...I'm SUCH a pig. Going to be jogging at LEAST three days this week. Already did a few miles yesterday and I don't feel like too much of a glutton anymore. Yea, I exercise 'cause I love to eat. Period.

Saturday, Melanie and Lisa came over to give me the DVD they made of the wedding shower, bachelorette party and wedding. They did such a wonderful job...so many silly parts that I'd forgotten about. Ron sat with the three of us and we watched the whole thing, laughing our asses off. The best was watching myself take my bra off from under my shirt during the bachelorette weekend in San Diego. Right there out on the street in the gas light district. Then I put it on my head. It was the perfect party town for them kinda hijinks though! It's so great to have all that on video, especially on a DVD that'll last forever!

Sunday was football day for the boys (Ron, Mark and Bam), which is becoming quite the regular thing. Especially since we now have a BEAUTIFUL couch!!!! A gift from the mother-in-law that arrived last week. She couldn't have gotten us a better one, either. It's got reclining chairs on both ends! Not to mention it's made of that wonderful suede leather...soooooooo sooooooffffftttt... It's got room for THREE whole people!!! And a fourth if ya push it. All these comforts of home that we finally have!

I also had some friends over Sunday. The two girls Cathy, Emily and Vivian...the latter two I hadn't hung out with in a long time. Emily and I reconnected a few months ago and Vivian I hadn't seen since high school! Girlfriends are the best... It was a very nice afternoon, we all went out to lunch and then hung out at my place for a bit. The amazing thing is the fact that EIGHT WHOLE PEOPLE fit in our livingroom! All at once! And they weren't tripping all over each other! I know, here we go again...I'm sorry, I'm still getting used to having a normal sized apartment, bear with me...

We just had fall back, set our clocks back over the weekend. The only thing I like about the fall time change is that we gain an hour over that particular weekend. Then it sucks 'cause it's dark by the time I get out of work. Now I have to jog in the dark. Not to mention what it does to traffic. For some strange reason, traffic gets way fucked up the first week of the time change. It's like no one knows how to drive in the dark! Oh well, I've been practicing having more patience these days, especially on the road. I'm trying not to let people/things get to me. Easier some days than others, but I must say I've been doing great lately. Even that perma-knot of tension that's been on the right side of my back has eased up some. Ahhhh...

That's 'bout it for this riveting entry. I've gotta go. Do. Something. Bye bye.

Halloween Spirit

It's been an interesting week, to say the least. My 98 year old grandfather finally passed away on Sunday morning. It was one of those blessing kind of losses in that he really wanted to go. He had a lovely, full life and was a good man to his friends and family. I'm happy that he will now be able to join my grandmother Gertrude, who passed away 30 years ago when I was only six months old. They were my maternal grandparents. Here is a nice picture of the two of them with my parents and I...


Grandpa Guy, you will be remembered fondly.

Well, my grandfathers passing had been expected, Ron's grandmother's passing, however, was not. We got a call on Saturday morning that Ron's 88 year old maternal grandmother suddenly passed in her sleep on Friday night. Her name was Gertrude as well. She went in a way that most would like to go, peacefully in her sleep. But she was so full of life and not ready to go! I never got a chance to meet her, unfortunately, as she wasn't able to make it to our wedding because she lived in Alaska...where Ron spent the first 7 years of his life. Ron was very close to his grandmother and would talk to her on the phone at least once a month. Poor poopsies. And his poor mommy poopies... *sigh*

So we both lost a maternal grandparent this past weekend. What a strange mix of emotions we've had running through us these past few days. This All Souls Day is going to be meaningful, to say the least. How nice to get slapped by mortality so close to Halloween. Today what little spirit I have, I made my own little jack o' lantern. It's not exactly a pumpkin, but I thought it would do...



And I didn't dress up...but my purse did!



Heeheehee! Okay, that's it for now. Keep those black kitties safe tonight!!!

May I help you?

I just finished this and added it to our website. Do you have any custom pieces to be made? Heh...fun stuff. Boss is back and getting on me so it's back to work. La la la later!

Yes, I've been working!

I've been drawing and the scanner is fixed so I can finally display my progress! Plus, I haven't had both Photo Shop and a scanner since I was going to school ten years ago. Check out what I did to my pelican!



Holy crap! Yes, I'm definately going to have to have a colorist for this project. I got a little carried away...

Then we have the cover drawing I'd done months ago. Here it is in all its inked glory...



AAAAand the last fully finished drawing...



I just figured out, while inking this drawing last week, how to make something sitting in a body of water. See all the little ripples and the minute beginnings of a reflection? I had no idea how to do it before this. At least not this clean. So there you have it. I moved and my muse is back. HURRAY!!!

Stay tuned...

I'm going to be posting some drawings sometime soon. Gonna get the scanner up and running again 'cause I finally found the set up disk! So stay tuned!

October already??

So this is Henry. Finally got a picture from my friend Lisa. She had her lovely camera phone with her when she came to see the place and I had her take a couple of shots since my camera has been outta service lately. It's really as simple as getting batteries...gawd I can be lazy sometimes... Anyway, he's so cute. He's got a wonderful personality. Loves to jump up on your chest and nuzzle your face, all the while purring like crazy. Hezza kewt liddle fuzzy poopies! YEEAAAaaaahhh!!!

*ahem*

Once again I have to say that I can't believe how time flies as you get older. The 21st of this month, we will have been married six whole months already. At this time last year I was fretting about getting started on the wedding planning. So GLAD it's all over! Oh, and tomorrow marks a month 'til our three year anniversary! Wow... I can finally say that we're on to the fun part of marriage...the NEW beginning! New place, new stuff, new attitude.

Well, I think I just might get some batteries for my own camera this weekend so I can get some better shots of the pets and living space. Really...this is rediculous. Playing around with Ron's camera last night reminded me how much I miss my own.

The 10th was Ron's 38th birthday. He told me that he is happier than he's ever been. AWwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww... We celebrated a little that day, went out to a nice sushi lunch. The night before was the fun part. I always love to do silly things for him to find when he gets home from work. He'd told me he was gonna take a shower and then relax with some ice cream when he got home. So, I just had to say happy birthday in my own way. First, I tried to write it out on the bathroom sink with his hair gel. Uhm...that got to be a little much so I settled on stenciling "Happy Birthday" on the bath mat with powder. Then I wrote "Hap Bert Day" on the top of his B e n n' Je rr y 's eye cream. Haha! Fun fun...and he totally appreciated it. I'd love to be able to continue to be creative through the years. It's gonna be a challenge!

Well happy Friday. I'm gonna get this day on the road. Not much going on yet, but I'm pretty sure the orders are going to start pouring in. Our lil' 'ol website is doing great! Woowoo!

The Morrissey Experience

HOLY SHIT! Another singer, BESIDES Mike Patton??? Yes, this one I actually got to see, pretty damn up close, this past Saturday night. Ron took me to my very first Morrissey show and it was the perfect concert experience. Since Ron has retired from the pit, my cousin Mark and I worked our way up to almost the front. We were probably about four rows back. I could see the whites of his eyes! And he was in such good spirits, talking to the crowd, even handing some woman the mike to ask some lame question...I don't remember what it was, of course. And I don't have any pictures of my own because, well, I suck at taking pictures of special events like these. Dammit. But the memories will suffice. It was a great crowd, too. I so enjoyed dancing, screaming, waving and getting pushed and squished in every direction. No really, I LOVED it! I've never gotten so close to a legend before. Next is Mike Patton. If I can get as close to Patton as I did Morrissey, my life will be complete. And I will be SURE to have a DAMN CAMERA.

So that was Saturday night. The rest of the weekend was wonderful as well. I hate that it's Monday again already. Another week of missing Ron. *sigh*

As for the art project I bitched about last week? I'm still gonna do it. Bottom line is that I have to finish what I start. And the drawings are coming out so well. I made it clear to the guy that I was pissed and disappointed though. I told him that I would still like someone to help us, preferably a professional who has dealt with this shit before. He's found someone and we're going to meet up again in a few weeks. In the meantime, I will do my drawings. What can it hurt?

Okay, it's the end of another boring entry in the life of a 30 year old nothing. Ya know, I'm still not sure why I do this. I guess it's become somewhat of a habit now. Sharing my boring life with strangers. I'll enjoy reading this later though. It's fun in that way. Later!

Good GOD ALMIGHTY

*sigh* So I'm all excited about working on this latest illustration project because the guy got an "art consultant" to help us, right? So like, I don't have to deal with mister head-in-the-clouds by myself, right? Well guess what?! Little miss squinty-eyed art consultant BITCH up and moved back to San Diego. AFTER SHE SAID SHE WOULD HELP US. YOU FUCKING BITCH. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. FUCK YOU! ARRUGHGHGHGhghghghghghghghghgajfagjopajgpoaigjoiwefi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I H-H-H-H-ATE PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I cried

Yes...I cried at the end of that stupid movie. It may have been due to the wine though. But 'Knocked Up' turned out to be a cute, entertaining movie.

I know, another picture of Mike Patton. Last night I had a dream that he was giving some sort of creativity talk at my old elementary school auditorium. Ron was with me and we were part of a small crowd that was asking questions and stuff. Ron kept urging me to ask something but I wouldn't budge 'cause I was all shy and embarrassed...probably due to the fact that I was wearing horribly tight shorts and had a muffin gut in the dream. I wish I could really meet the guy, dammit. Without all the rest of the whorefaced fans around. One day.

Unnatural obsession...I TELL YOU.


In other exciting news, we did indeed get rain in this desert over the weekend. Not piddly, but POUNDING...at times, anyway. Made for a cozy Saturday and a GORGEOUS Sunday. I spent the entire weekend at home, 'cept a walk here and there. We got even more done and the place is still coming together very nicely. Still.

Yes.





Indeed.





Life is grand.





*sigh*

OH yea...and speaking of whoreface... Remember this entry? Well I finally took the bitch off of my friends list, along with a bunch of other people I don't know. I really got tired of her bulletins about her tits and vagina and how beautiful and great she is. She never talked to me anymore either, so...GOOD BYE. Yea, good 'ol Myspace, makes you feel even MORE unpopular than you really are!

Okay, time to finish work so I can go home and enjoy Direct tv. We finally have tv again! JOY!

Ahhhh...it's Friday again

I'm so glad. It's almost time to go home... Now...do I want to jog like a good girl, or just skip it and go home? I've been good and have gone twice this week so far. I need my third day. I think I'll just do a mild one today, as I don't have much energy. Okay, I talked myself into it. Besides, it'll pass the time 'til the man gets home. GAWD I miss him. Dammit.

Plans for this weekend? Why, more cleaning and organizing, of course. Things are finally coming together. We've got the nice, new t.v. set up and can watch movies on it. Tuesday is the Direct TV peeps are coming out and we're gonna have more t.v. than we can possibly watch. Tonight I'm gonna go home and watch a movie on a subject that's very touchy for me... "Knocked Up" Let's see if I laugh or get pissed off, shall we? I remember hearing about the movie when it came out and thinking, "GAH! I don't wanna see that shit!" Well...of course I'm curious. It's by the same guy who did 40 year old virgin and Superbad and I was pretty damn entertained by those sooo...it might be a decent watch.

It's supposed to rain tonight. Will it? For more than, say, an hour? I know there were so many states affected by weird weather this year with floods and whatnot. In California it's just been DRYER than hell! We've gotten little piddly shit all year. We haven't had a real storm at all this year. I love the rain and weather in general, especially in the winter. As a native Californian I get so TIRED of constant sun. I know I'm spoiled though. One winter in Minnesota and I'd probably be begging to come back to our "boring" sunny days. Hah!

Well, another entry of nothing really interesting. I need to go get ready to run. Later!