Refresher

Lookit what I did... I decided to get my "No, it's not Nemo, Dammit" tattoo re-colored last night. Ron was in class and I didn't feel like going home to worry about my mom alone with no distractions. My dad called yesterday morning to tell me that my mom had fallen the night before and broken her hip. She had to have hip replacement surgery last night. They decided that this was the best thing for her, since she has Type 1 diabetes which complicates her healing process. This is a routine surgery (usually done on older folks) from which people usually heal and recover their mobility more quickly, as opposed to letting the bone heal on its own. I hope this is the case with my mom. She's only 62. Nothing better to remind me of her growing frailty. My reality check with mortality. *sigh* She's had diabetes since she was 25. It's really starting to take a toll on her. She's got it under pretty good control now that she has a great doctor, but there were times when her blood sugar would be so out of control. But her doctor is at the hospital taking good care of her, according to my dad. I'm probably going to drive out there to visit either today or tomorrow. Poor mommy.

I had to get my mind off of worrying and I've been thinking about getting my tats re-colored a lot lately. I really wanted to get away from the strict orange and white colors of this particular tat. Especially after the 12th person asked if it was Nemo. It still looks Nemo-like, of course. I don't care, it's very cute. I used to do a lot of Disney-esque type animal drawings. I still do, but I'm trying to get my own style. Like any other artist! Heh...

This is actually just the first step. I'm going to do more to this one. As I sat and looked at it last night, I decided that the stripes need some yellow shading. This particular fish has the common name of Percula Clownfish. A common saltwater damselfish. Damsels are the saltwater equivalent to a freshwater goldfish. But a whole helluva lot cuter! They can survive in some pretty harsh conditions and are usually one of the first fish that can be put in newly set-up saltwater tanks to get the whole bacteria/nitrogen cycle started. Anyway, I've seen them in not only orange and white, but also black and white and maroon with sort of yellowish-cream colored stripes. So I'm going toward the maroon colored specimen. I will wait for it to heal some to see how the colors turn out, then I'll probably add some yellow shading in the stripes. Yup...that's what I'm gon' do. And now that I'm all in the tattoo mood...I have the idea for my next one. I really want to get the lovebirds I've drawn for the wedding invite (no, not done yet...procrastination hits again) done somewhere on my person. Haven't quite decided where yet. I can imagine my drawing all colored in. It's gonna look GORGEOUS! But not 'til after the wedding. It'll be my wedding present to myself.

Okay, once again it is time to work. I don't feel like it. Later.

Trippy

Went to Vegas again over the weekend. GAWD I hate Vegas. As much as I hate it, I find myself going there at least once a year or so. Melanie's bowling tournaments have taken me there the last few times before this trip. I've been there seven or eight times now. There are so many other places that are the same distance away that I'd much rather visit... San Francisco, Monterey, Lake Tahoe, The Redwoods, Big Bear... But I always end up wasting a vacation day in that shithole Vegas. Going for someone else. This time it was for Ron's mom and uncle. Ron's uncle is visiting from Alaska for a few months and has never been to Vegas. Ron hadn't been there in about fifteen years and his birthday just passed. His mom has a nice time share not too far from the strip, so she decided it would be fun to take the three of us for a weekend trip. Sorta combine Ron's birthday gift and get his uncle out and about. Too bad Ron hates Vegas has much as I do. It was a very nice gesture on his mom's part and it was nice spending time with family. We made the best of it and it was fairly nice. I appreciate what his mom did, she is a very sweet lady. I don't think I've done too bad in the in-law department, I must say.

The time share thing was MUCH better than staying in some hotel casino. The room was home-y, like staying in an apartment. A nice facility with all the amenities...a dining table, couch and chairs, silverware, a dishwasher, full sized fridge, large balcony... It also had a huge pool, a bar, pool tables, a couple cozy restaurants, game room, gym... No casino, though. A nice touch to Ron and I. There's always plenty of those fucking stinkholes all over Vegas. I wouldn't have minded spending the whole time at the time share, however we had to see the sights for his mom and uncle. We just let his mom take the lead. Visited some of the great big, wastes of money that were the hotels and other attractions. Walked around A LOT. Ate A LOT. But didn't gamble at all. We're all kinda thrifty and that made the trip cool. None of us liked the idea of wasting money at the slots or game tables with all the other idiots. Ron had wanted to possibly play a little Black Jack, but we didn't get to it. I'm glad. BOR-ING.

I'd taken yesterday off because we'd decided to go Saturday through Monday in order to avoid the awful Sunday gambling addicts traffic. What a horrid and boring drive that is. I detest it. At least it's not that long, only about 4 to 5 hours depending on traffic. His mom made pretty damn good time both on the way there and back. We were doing great on the drive back until the inevitable speeding dipshit caused an accident and made us sit in traffic during the last leg of the trip. Delayed us an hour. ARGH! Let's see...what else do I HATE about Vegas besides the drive? Hmmm...

~The people

~The desert scenery/weather

~The people

~The REDICULOUS extravagance EVERYWHERE you look

~The rip-offs (TEN fucking dollars to ride a stupid elevator to the top of the Stratosphere!)

~The filth

~The waste

~The whores

~The ignorant, fat, lazy, rude, psycho, just plain FUCKED up PEOPLE waiting around every corner to take your money.

~The absence of the natural. Everything is so fake and gross. All the waterfalls smell like gutters

We should just bomb the place. The world is in need of a serious clean-up. Gotta clean up the gene pool. Vegas is a great place to start.

I couldn't wait to come home. I missed my pets terribly. That reminds me, I did waste too much money on ONE souvenir...a parrot puppet. I saw it at the Rainforest Cafe and had to get it. The first stuffed parrot modeled after a real parrot instead of some colorful whatever that is supposed to be a parrot because, well, you know...it's colorful and has a hooked beak. This is a puppet of an actual scarlet macaw. The colors are all right, even the toes face in the right direction! Parrots have two forward-facing toes and two backward-facing toes. Dammit. It's gotta be anatomically correct! Heh... Yup, this one is. The face, the eyes...it almost looks real! Hehe...so far Pickles loves it! Ron was putting it in his face last night and he was giving it lil' birdie nibbles all over. So cute!

Yea.

Alright, gotta go for now. Later!

On to other things

Heh...tigers in a 'hot tub'. Gotta love digi cams and the internet. No boundries...

So. It's Thursday. What have I been up to all week? The usual. Nothing too exciting to report. Went for a walk/hike with my brother Steve the other day. That was fun and different...having another person there pushing you add a whole new element. For me it was the element of, "Oh my shits I better quit smoking 'cause he's kicking my ass." I kept up pretty well through most of it, but there were some real HELLISH hills he showed me that I hadn't a clue about. I usually don't explore that hilly area over by his house when I'm jogging up there 'cause I tend to get lost. It worked my ass in areas it really needs to be worked. I mean, there are muscles all up in there? All up in that middle part? How do I work those muscles consistently? I'm obviously not getting to them on a regular basis. I guess that's all part of the whole staying in shape thing...finding different ways to work different muscle groups. Right. Gonna go attack the hills around my work and try to get to that same group 'o butt muscles today. Uh-huh.

Steve and I also did some file sharing on his new computer. He's been loading his music collection on there like mad. Then I come over with my MP3 player and it's all over.

"OOoh, gotta have that one."

"Can I get this?"

"Cool, put that on there, too..."

I got some great stuff on my player now. It's almost full. I've got the Beatles 'White' album on it! Which is great because I have lots of mundane shit to do here at work today and music helps a shitload. Gotta get a lot of back orders out. Damn stuff just keeps trickling in from the vendors. Music also helps with other boring things like grocery shopping. I may never have to listen to the real world again! My own personal music video...ALL the time!

Okay, that's enough here. I am off to do some working.

DAY-YAM! Talk about INTricate!

What amazing artistry. Using what artists call 'negative space'. I love staring at this kind of stuff. Wow...mind blowing.

Cuteness

Aren't those just the CUTEST damn things you ever SAW?! My dad emailed me this picture and it reminded me of when I actually did this myself. I was 8 or 9 years old and spending the day with my family at my grandparents house out in Sun City aka old people's retirement town. There was NOTHING to do, I was bored outta my mind. As I was watching the hummingbirds visit the feeder, I got an idea. I stood on a chair and put my fingers on either end of the feeder, right next to the "red flower" spouts where they stick their lil' bills. It took awhile, but eventually the buggers started landing on my fingers to drink from the spouts! The first time one of them actually landed on my finger I almost cried I was so excited. Eventually my parents and cousins came out to watch. And the birdies just kept coming! I'll never forget how awesome it was to see these beautiful little jewels up close... I guess I've always had a thing for birdies. I love their song, their beauty and how smart they are for supposedly having such "tiny" brains. The difference is that they use their ENTIRE brain, unlike us 10 percenters...

Anyway, I'm feeling like shit this morning. It's another Monday after a wonderful weekend. We straightened up the house, watched movies and went for sushie. We also just really enjoyed each other's company. It was great. I overdid it on the sushie and beer last night so I'm still feeling full and sluggish. I need to exercise today, but I doubt I'll make it. I'll try...we'll see how I feel at the end of the day. It's 11:00 a.m. though, and I still feel awful. Just sluggish and not in the mood to do a thing. Although I have gotten a few things done...I just have to get motivated to go pack stuff now. Yuck! Good news is that Ron FINALLY started the day shift. He should be on it for the next month or so. WOO! And I'm repeating to myself..."NOT GONNA GET UPSET AT HIM WHEN HE HAS TO GO BACK TO SHITTY SHITTY HORRIBLE SCHEDULE. I WILL CRY BY MYSELF. REALLY.

Speaking of cuteness, I meant to post this Patton interview, too. Yes, I also watched more videos this weekend. Man, I'm in DEEP now. Okay, back to work for me. Later!

Grand 'ol time

Blogger has been freaking out again. I tried to post several times yesterday and it just wouldn't LET ME! So YAY, I'm posting today. Another happy Friday after a nice week.

Went bowling with the Cathies last night and it was lots of fun. Ron came, too, which made it even better. 'Course he kicked all our asses. I bowled a fucking 25 on my first game. That's right folks, a 25. If the goal of the game were similiar to golf, I'd be a CHAMP! But I did better on the second game. Got 56. Mmmm-hmmm. And guess who happened to be bowling in the lane next to us?

The ONE...




The ONLY...





LEIF GARRETT!!!

HAHAHAHAAHAHAAAA!!! Cathie's all, "Do you know who Leif Garrett is? He's right behind us...." WHOA! VH1 flashback!!! Cathie even got a pic (the Cathies are SO good at bring cameras everywhere) of Ron and I with him in the backround! Heh! I tell ya, the guy looks SO haggard. Sometimes stardom does that to ya. Well, most of the time.

Oh, speaking of the two Cathies...they have their own blogs now. I actually have people I KNOW who read me and vice versa. Cathy just started hers about a month ago and Cathie has been at it since April. Yay! Notice that I differenciate the by the spelling of their names. There's Cathy with a "Y" and Cathie with an "IE". Heeeeee... Yea. I just had to point that out.

So...last night when I got home from bowling I had to check out some links I'd found earlier in the day on Caca Volante, a Patton blog I found a little while back. You know how links go, right. Link after link after link leads you to more and more awesome shit. I got to the good 'ol YouTube site and found nothing less than a SHITLOAD of Patton related videos. Holy shit I was in HEAVEN. I opened a can of worms. I watched as much as I could before I had to go to bed. After watching a few live performances and interviews, especially this one and this one (OH MY GAWD he's SO CUTE in that interview I just wanna SQUISH 'IM) I fell in love all over again. Oooh man. He seems like a nice guy. Creative, down to earth and weird as hell. He even started poop talking in one interview! I was sitting there squealing with delight. Ron would come in the bedroom and enjoy clips every now and then. He was like, "Oh shit...HERE we go!" Yea, it was complete Patton overload last night. Guess who dreamt about hanging out at the beach with Ron, my cousin Mark and Mike Patton? It was a lovely dream for a change...

Just look at this cute lil' dork...



Yes, that's him in his Faith No More days. Oh yea...and he also seems to have a thing for fish. Another thing I love!

Okay, happy Friday! I'm off to get this day done. Later!

Happy Birthday, Ronnie poop!

First off, today is my darling's birthday. Happy Birthday poopsies!!! I wuvs yooooo!!!! I was going to bring him home his favorite cake, a card and a little gift (his big one hasn't arrived yet, I know I SUCK at planning) and possibly take him out to dinner. Scratch that 'cause he's gotta work. *sigh* He was supposed to start days at that damn Federal building this week, however, they keep pushing the job back for one reason or another. Fucking disorganized, lame ass, overly micromanaged mess. *SIGH* I wanted to celebrate on the day! But have I complained to him? NO. Not yet. And I'm not gonna. It's his day for shit's sake! Of course we're going to celebrate this weekend. Maybe go to Oktoberfest! Woowoooooo!!!

Even though I'm in a bad mood this morning, I'm controlling it. No reason to take it out on anyone. It's all my fault, anyway. I feel terrible because I ate terrible last night. Too many sweets last night and the day before after not having any for quite a while. I'm gonna go get me a greasy meal for lunch. I always want something like bacon or hash browns when my stomach is feeling all squeamy like this. I feel like a salt-lick right about now...

The weekend was great. We had a bbq with Mark and Mason on Saturday. A nice, laid back and fun day. Sunday we went for our bike ride at the park. It was lovely. We're starting at the park because neither of us are ready for the mountain yet. Well, I might be more than I think 'cause I HAVE been working out pretty regularly. But only PRETTY regularly. It's Ron who needs to get back into shape. It won't be hard for him though. He's athletic, used to ride his bike for miles and miles. The cool thing is that once you've been very good shape, it's not too difficult to get back into it. Muscles remember!

I also almost finished my invitation design this weekend. I've got most of it inked. Now I just have to do the boring part of it. Ink it, I mean. I worked on it for about an hour and a half on Saturday night and it's coming along beautifully. Yes, I'm gonna scan it in when I'm done!

My GAWD...some bitch just walked by the building talking on her cell phone. Now, this building is pretty spacious and echo-y anyway... It magnified her obnixious voice. "Sweet! We'll get on it!" Good for you. Shut the fuck up.

My friend Lisa emailed me the greatest picture yesterday! I love it when she or Melanie come across old pictures of us. This is from around 1985 or so...



Yea, the classic 'buried in the sand' pic. Love it! Our families used to go to the beach together all the time. Lisa and I would spend hours playing in the waves or searching the shore for sand crabs. This naturally resulted in being baked by the sun. We'd end up purple the next day. Our moms were not good at the re-apply at all! Great times... It's fun to have old friends!

Fuck, I gotta go pack some more. It's been busy at work again. This tea isn't working! I need french fries!

Diarreah

It's Fry fry FRYDAY and I'm still at work at six and the thirty PEE-EM. WHY is that? Because my damn car had to go to the shop AGAIN. I've been driving her for eight years and she's been oh so good to me. I guess it's about time for all the little things to start breaking. This time it was the temp gauge something or other sensor. The engine light went on Monday morning and I nearly shit my pants. NOT AGAIN. NoOoOoOoO!!! I called Ron, first and foremost. He asked a few questions, told me nott-uh to worry and he'd make an appointment at our car place for Thursday. We took her in yesterday and it was supposed to be a one day thing. Turns out they needed to order a frick-a-frackin' part so she wasn't ready this morning when we were plannin' to pick her up. No. It was ready this AFTERNOoooon. When I did not have a ride to get it. But the problem was easily solved. I'm here alone again so I did most of my work and then forwarded the phones to my cell so I could take the company car to the shop. I dun paid for the work and they let me park her in a public lot so that Ron and I can drive down there tomorra morn' and bring her home. We would have just done it Monday, but Ron is supposed to start working days (YAY) next week...for the next six weeks! Then he goes on that horrid five to one a.m. schedule again... But I'm gonna be a good, non-codependent girl and NOT cry and carry on when that happens. Yea. Anyway, I so love all the freedom I have at this job. All I had to do was call my boss and explain the sitch and he was all fine with it. Awesome. Then I came back to work and finished up like a good girl. I am trustworthy. YES I AM. I am also lame.

sO...

I'm sitting here at work waiting for good 'ol Melanie poop to pick me up. It's been a good week. I went jogging three times this week! Monday, Wednesday AND today! I wish I could be as consistent every week. Last week I barely exercised...but the week before that I jogged three of the days AND the week before that. I'm somewhat consistent. Sorta kinda.

Speaking of exercise, the plans for this weekend include a hellish mountain bike ride. Ron got his bike all fixed up, finally, and it's time to get out there! The weather has cooled down enough, it's perfect fall conditions now. So on Sunday we're gonna take to the fire roads! Ron used to mountain bike like a madman and has been wanting to get back into it. Yay! It's gonna be fun. A new thing to add to my activities.

I'm feeling a little lonely in this blog world again. *sigh* I know. Like I said, I'm lame. Where is everyone? Zoot poopsie just got married, so she's been very busy. Zen darling has had lots going on with a new job and things. Onewetleg has lot's going on, too... I want them to come back! I feel like people get bored with me. I'm so insecure here! GAWD, I feel like I'm in junior high... YEA. I KNOW. Quit whinin'. I got all emotional on another blogger's page the other day. She was mentioning how people will leave long and involved comments on her page (I think it was a certain guy she was referring to, but I do that a lot, too) thinking they're all funny and shit, but she thought it was stupid or some shit like that. Fuck, I don't even know. I just got all hot and bothered and left her a very stupid, irritated comment. And then she came over here and asked me why I bother to read her if I get so irritated by it. She's right. So I deleted her ass from my list. It's so stupid. I just feel like I'm reaching for straws over here. People suck.

I'M COOL. READ ME. TELL ME YOU FUCKING LOVE ME!!!! OOOOHHhhh...gush gush. Hahahaha! Oh well. I'll just write and read myself. I love reading my own blog each month. Like, hmmm...what did I babble about this month? Or...Jesus Christ, I'm SUCH a fucking WEIRDO. Yea, I like to record myself peeing...

Oooh, THAT was random!

Awright, Melanie should be here any minute. ANEEE FUCKING MINUUUTE. Where ARE you Melanie?! Oye. I'm gonna go have a nice weekend now, all you folks out there on the internet. Now read me. And my archives. 'Cause I'm a fucking AWESOME chick. HHAHAHAHAHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!

Bye.

Nastalgia

Hooo... Taking a break for now. I'm almost all caught up. The boss is gone again, won't be back 'til next Tuesday. I'm still sipping my coffee. Getting ready to get some orders together and shipped out. Feeling just fine and dandy today. And life goes on...

I hung out with my brother Steve last night. It had been awhile, we usually try to go to dinner and/or hang out about once a month. It's been like that since he's been back in L.A. He lived in the Bay area for ten years and moved back here about three years ago. I was glad when he moved back 'cause I really enjoy hanging out with him. He's a crazy, silly weirdo just like I am. Well, it looks as though he might be moving away again. He applied for a sound engineer job in Washington, DC...just as a "What the hell, I may as well give it a shot" type of thing. It looked like a great opportunity but he wasn't too sure it would go anywhere. It's always good to try that next rung on the ladder. His first interview was over the phone two weeks ago. He told me it went very well, that he felt like he hit it off with the interviewer. Apparently so 'cause today is his second interview. The company is actually sending someone out here to interview him. He's all nervous and excited about this prospect, and at the same time feeling a little overwhelmed and unsure. He'll be moving across the country. But he'd be crazy not to...this is a great opportunity. Doing what he loves at a huge company. Earning great money, great benefits...all the things people strive for in the career world. All the things that he has worked so hard for. Not two years ago he was really struggling. This is a blessing... Of course I'm very happy for him, but it'll be like losing a friend.

Last night reminded me of how much fun he is. We went out for chinese at one of those great little hole in the wall places. I didn't even know it existed and it's been in the area for years and years. The food was fantastic! The hot and sour soup...oooohhh so wonderful. It puts the stuff I get from the chinese place next to work to SHAME! We had a yummy dinner and then chilled and digested at his place for a while. So, my new phone has this feature where you can record and playback...it's got a speakerphone and a mic. I was showing this to Steve, how you can record and playback normal, slower and faster. I got to one recording that I didn't remember...a phone conversation I'd had with my mom a few weeks ago. But you couldn't hear me talking, only my mom. I had no idea I'd recorded it. Turns out you hit a button on the side of the phone in order to record the person you're talking to. HAH! Could be very incriminating...

In any case, my mom's recorded voice is fucking hilarious! Last night brought back memories... Steve has always been into music and sounds...he's done foley (backround sounds) for a couple of independent productions. When we were little he had a reel to reel recorder that he'd play around with all the time. Recorded all sorts of things, airplanes going by, the washing machine...my parents arguing or just talking in general. Then he'd be able to slow down or speed up the recordings. I remember being little and playing around with the recorder with Steve. We'd have my mom's voice on there...our favorite would be her signature calling of my dad from across the house..."FRRRrraaannnk!" Then we'd speed it up, slow it down and die laughing. Well we did that again last night with my phone. You had to have been there, but it was so funny my stomach hurts today. I was laughing so hard I couldn't breathe! I know the conversation my mom and I were having was about wedding plans. And it was only about 15 seconds of it...

"...we can tell them, and things like that."

"But take your time, it's no sweat..."

"OKAAY" (echo)

"I'm sorry fer..."

"But you called me."

"No, I called you...I called you..." (laugh)

"Have a...have a...." (beepbeep signals end of recording)

I know, typical conversation. Not too funny when it's played back normal speed. But slow it down two times and it totally sounds like she's drunk!!! And the, "No, I called yewww..." and the laugh she does afterwards...all digitally slow and shit! We played it over and over! It was great! I can't wait to play it for Ron. Over and over and over. HAHAHA! OH and I just gotta embarrass the shit outta my mom and play it for her!

Man, break's over... End of nastalgia...

Have a nice day!

Shit, have I mentioned how much I LOVE this scanner? I need one for home, man. Now I can be RUDE to the whole world! Yep, you betcher ass this is on my stupid myspace page! Don't ask why... Just the mood I'm in today.

Mmm-hmm, sometimes I feel like I'm lying in the street bleeding and everyone is standing around staring and not helping.

Uh-oh...someone needs an attitude adjustment. Again. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!!! I'm not taking my meds. Heeeeeeeeeeeee...

I'm goin' koo koo! WOO WOO!

Just kidding. I'm fine. Actually, I am getting off the meds. I'm trying again and it's working this time. I'm not going out of my mind...the withdrawal isn't bad at all. Hmm, I guess I could say this picture is for the all pharmaceutical companies who are putting everyone on medication. FUCK YOU! I don't need medication to be happy! I need to get back to work. Almost all caught up, just had to take a break to write something pointless.

Flippin'

Eeeeeeeeeeeeek!! Lotsa crap going on right now. Busy busy. Still haven't caught up at work. At least I'm not feeling sick anymore. I felt so much better last Thursday that I over-extended myself after work that evening. Thought I'd get all the things done that I hadn' earlier in the week. Then I was busy as hell at work on Friday and by THAT evening I had completely exhausted myself. I was supposed to go out with the two girls Cathy and I just couldn't. Had to rest and get ready to go on a little get away weekend with Ron.

Uh-huh...

We made it out of town at last! Went to old town San Diego for a little romantic getaway. It was just what we needed and we enjoyed it thoroughly. We ate lotsa Mexican food and drank lotsa margaritas! Had dinner at a cute little place called "La Pinata" on Saturday night and had ourselves some of the best tostadas carnitas ever! And the peach margaritas were soooo very delicious! We got to indulge (but not toooooo much, we've been being VERY good...BOTH of us*pat onna back*) 'cause we were spending the night at a little cozy place that was right across the street from the restaurant and shopping area in old town. It was what I'd been wanting to do with Ron all damn summer... Have a nice, relaxing getaway. Now that it's done, we have to concentrate on wedding planning 'cause it's gonna be here before we know it. It's almost the anniversary of our engagement!

Speaking of anniversaries, at this time last year I was in CHINA! It's been a year already... What a trip that was... In more ways than one! If you wanna see all the awesome pics, go check out my posts from the end of last October/beginning of November. It's still so weird to see the Great Wall on t.v. or in pictures and be like, "I've been there!" But I still haven't made it to Hawii. Shit, go figure!

That's all I have time for right now. Gotta do some more work. Must catch up before my boss leaves again! AAACCKCKCKCKCKKK!!!!

Oh yes...one more thing...go check out J a ck @ss 2. Well, if you like completely disgusting, boyish, rediculous toilet humor that is. We loved it. I know...tells ya what kinda people WE are. HAH! Later...

Nails in my eye

I've been sick...again. Woke up with another fever yesterday. I don't know what is up with me, this is the second fever I've gotten since June. This time I went to the doctor and got a shot so that it wouldn't turn into the sniffling, lung buttery, hacking hell it did last time. It started Monday at work. Toward the end of the day I got a terrible headache. I finished the day, went home (drove most of the way with one eye closed 'cause it felt like there was a nail in my socket), took three aspirin and rested. I went to bed by 8:30 and proceeded to have a million nightmares in a row. That's when you know you have a fever, when the nightmares don't stop. I'd wake up from one like, "OH GAWD, what the HELL was that all about?! I'm so glad I woke up..." Only to fall asleep and go right back to where it left off. I don't really remember any of them anymore, as those were replaced by yesterdays depressing dreams. I'm trying to forget those 'cause they left me with an awfully depressed feeling in my gut. So I spent the whole damn day yesterday in bed. Now my back is killing me because we are in serious need of a new mattress. The thing is ELEVEN years old. OUCH. I'm hoping to hobble through the rest of this day and go home to rest some more. I need to put a heat pad on my aching back...

This past weekend was great. We didn't do much of anything...watched movies, cleaned, ran errands. The usual. We went out to dinner with my cousin Mark for his son Masons 13th birthday. For being around a guy like my cousin, that kid sure did turn out sweet. He is such a cutie pie. Anyway, we went to a cozy Italian place (my favorite) and I had the eggplant parmesian while the others had pizza. I miss my grandmas eggplant parmesian. No one can make it like Mama could. I gotta find that recipe. I have an old book of recipes that I'd found while living at my grandparents house. It's time to pull that thing out and start makin' some REAL Italian food! Mmmmmm...

Oh yea...Stanley had to go to the vet again today to get another oral surgery. They're gonna pull some more of his problem teeth. Yes, my wonderful cat who has a fabulous, doglike personality, doesn't piss all over the place, doesn't scratch all over the furniture and is otherwise perfect, just HAS to have a chronic problem with his teeth. He had a couple of problem teeth pulled last year and that didn't seem to do anything to remedy the problem. We were being cautious before but now we gotta pull out the big guns. Now they're gonna go for the ones that seem to always get infected BADLY...his top right teeth in the back. I took him back to the vet I trust...the vet I've always taken him to. She may be a little paranoid about his weight, but she's a very good vet. She actually didn't say anything about his weight this last time I had him checked. He's maintaining at about 15 pounds now. I've been feeding him a fixed amount. Not too much and not too little, which seems to work fine. And I usually try to keep him on the healthy weight maintenance formula. I'm more worried about his teeth right now. I hadn't taken him for a mouth check up since that last vet I took him to for the second opinion ripped me the fuck off. At least I got lots of pills from the last time and that kept the chronic infection at bay for a while. But it came back and I'm hoping this surgery will do the trick. I don't want any more teeth to be pulled, as he's a youngin' (only 6) and I'd like him to be able to keep most of his teeth and eat dry food for a while longer. *sigh*

Well back to work for me. Got some catching up to do. Later...

Ducky and the mysterious Larvae

You didn't think I was gonna stop at one, did you? HELL no. It's Friday, the boss is still gone and I have a new toy at my desk!



It's the birth of ducky!

And can anyone tell me what the hell these things are?



I know they're some sort of little larval casing...they're all over the stucco walls outside here at work. I noticed them scattered around before, but they seem to have multiplied some over the past few months. So going along with the theme for today, I decided to take a few of 'em and scan 'em in. Yes, I know...another novelty. Pretty soon I'll be scanning my boogers. Hmmm, now what sorta art project can I make with boogers? I know...don't ask...

First day of school

Mommy and child packing popcorn, waiting for the bus. Isn't that precious?

Guess who got a new computer and a scanner at work... Mmmm-hmmm, that's right...

I'm gettin' all deep again...

I'm still feeling pretty damn good about life. The attitude adjustment is working so far. Still trying to keep positive, not let people/the world get me down, look forward to the future and be confident. But I can't always ride the wave of happiness, as seen in this blog many times before. During those times of inevitable sadness/frustration/general disappointment I must remember...remember that I was born with a normal, functioning and complete body. Something that this poor child will never know.

Yea, things were going just swell...got a great job, great house, great start to a family... Then ya go and do what millions of others do every fucking day, get pregnant with a second child. Then you find out, through the wonderful technology of ultrasound, that she's got a genetic abnormality. Life throws a curve. Hmmm, a cleft palate maybe? Not quite...

This is why I have anxiety. All the "what ifs" in life. Another general statement that I, and thousands of others think and say every day... Gotta make the best of what you've got because you never know. You just NEVER fucking know.

Sometimes...

I just LOVE my job. My boss is gone for a week again... I'm just here doing my own thing. Day by day. Was gonna exercise after work, do the 'ol running up and down the stairs since it was hot out again today. Well, I ran into a bit of a problem as I was changing into my workout clothes. Ya see, I forgot my workout SHORTS. Ooops. Good thing I'm here alone! I can just work out in my underwear! No worries... Panties and a sportsbra! Perfect! It's so much FUN running around work in your skivvies. Now I'm all done with the workout. Time to throw on my skirt with the sportsbra and head home. I don't wanna drive home in muh undies...you know...all those tall trucks. Heh.

FUCK!

Okay, Photobucket is FUCKED up today. It's doing it again. BIG HAIRY SPIDER IN YOUR FACE. I'm leaving this for now.

I don't get it

For some odd reason, one of the pictures I posted in the last entry WILL NOT SHRINK. I went to photobucket and shrunk it to the size of the others...that usually works. I even reposted the entry AGAIN with the tag to the edited picture. The edited damn picture that says it's the same damn size as the other pictures. Why does it keep showing up so fucking HUGE?! Oh well, gotta leave it for now. Boggles the fucking mind.

Here's a couple more pics I forgot to post last week... Pet pics, of course:



I was actually INSIDE the fish tank when I took this one. Heehee!

And look, Rosie is WALKING!



She's a nocurnal lil' bugger. I turned on the light in the kitchen and saw her walking along. I had to take a picture of the event. My life is so fucking exciting, I tell ya! Okay...that's enough for now. Gotta work.

OH Whuttah...

WEeeeeeeeeeeeeeekend! It was nice. The usual... Nothing too spectacular to report. Ran errands, hung out with Melanie and Tyra some. Went to Ron's mom's for a BBQ. Took Stan to the vet for shots and to get his infected mouth checked out. He's gonna need to have some more teeth pulled 'cause the infection just won't stop. Dammit... Don't wanna talk about that though.

Here...have some pictures of the bathroom clouds that I ALMOST finished this past Thursday...

The first night I spent doing simple, white clouds:









The second night, a week and a half later, I shaded MOST of the clouds:









I started to get tired and although I only had a few more to do, I just couldn't. I knew I'd have to come back to touch everyting up anyway. I'm such a damn perfectionist. And speaking of perfection...



Don't gag. NO... I'm NOT obessed. Why do you ask? Collecting pictures for my scrapbook. Ron saw this new one laying out on my dresser and he's like, "OH GAWD...ANOTHER ONE? What have I done?" Then he got me another Mr. Bungle CD. He's still feeding it, I tell you! Hehehe...

He's perfect for ME, that's why I'm marrying him. Huh, honey...



I love you, Ron.



MMMM-WHUUH!!!

(check out those nostrils...can you see my brain?) Later!

What the hell?!

One more thing... This is one of the gifts listed on the Day-vid's Bridal website. What do you think? A nice, engraved flask for everyone! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Nuptuals and lists...

I've been doing so much better this week. SO much better. What a difference positive thinking makes. And less drinking makes. For goodness sakes. Yes. Gee whiz, whoda thunk?

First off, been thinking about the 'ol wedding plans. My mom and I went to a baby shower this past Sunday. It was for her friend Margaret's daughter, Jennifer. Mom and Margaret are great friends since college so our families know each other pretty well. Actually, it was more like a baby "sprinkle" due to the fact that this is Jennifer's second baby, her first is six months already! Only a few people were invited and it was more of a celebration than a gift-giving extravaganza. Anyway, Jennifer is two years older than me and got married 7 years ago. She's a sweet girl, we used to play as kids but have lost touch since we didn't have much in common. For example... She was a happy, peppy, confident blonde cheerleader in highschool...I was a depressed, weird, frizzy haired, insecure dork in highschool. I know we're adults now and things change, but we're still a lot different. Her outgoing, positive leader personality sure comes in handy when planning a wedding though! My mom was DYING for me to talk to her...

"Go over and show Jennifer your ring!"

"Go ask Jennifer what you should do now that you have a date and a place set."

"You should take this opportunity to talk to Jennifer about planning, I got married 40 years ago...I have no idea what I'm doing!"

My mom thinks I should be bursting with enthusiasm. Of course...'cause she's my mom and wants me to be happy. You know how mothers are. They worry. I'm not excited enough...what if inside, I really don't want to get married! Like...like last time! I've reassured her no less than six THOUSAND times that, YES...YES DAMMIT! I WANT TO MARRY RON. I AM EXCITED. I AM JUST OVERWHELMED AND I PROCRASTINATE WHEN I AM ANXIOUS. Eesh. It's almost been a year since we got engaged (Nov 13th) and I still feel good about it. I was engaged to butthead for three weeks before I up and moved the fuck out. C'mon now, mah, you gots nuthin' to worry 'bout. I'm just not the enthusiastic type. I even got fired from a hostess job at a restaurant after three days because I wasn't "enthusiastic enough". Eye-lands...not a good place for me to work. A great job for perky blondes and cutsie brunettes...but not me.

ANYWAY...

Needless to say, I ended up having an in depth conversation with Jennifer. MAN is she ORGANIZED. Holy shit, she made up an itinerary for her bridesmaids and the DJ! She made up an entire BINDER of information and lists! I'm all..."You're hired. H-E-L-P-M-E." She's still got that binder and she's gonna lend it to me. We exchanged email addys and I've already sent her a list of questions. I am doing my homework like a good girl. I've even started sketching the invitation. GO ME! OOooh Ungowa oooh ooh Ungowa! Yes, I've found a truly helpful person this time. Someone who is more organized than I can ever dream of being. I appreciate that 'cause I need to improve my skills in that area. First off, lists are your friends...

And speaking of lists, I did my first art homework assignment given to me by Marguerite during her visit. She asked me to list things I'd like to do with my art. I came up with six things, all having to do with illustration...

1. Children's Books
2. Animal info/anatomy books
3. Custom painting - furniture, walls, windows, etc...
4. Pet portraits
5. Album covers
6. Book covers

My next assignment is to go through each of these things and figure approximately how long it will take me to do a project. Besides a contract, knowing what to charge my client is extremely important. I've had problems with this in the past when I used to paint store windows for the holidays. Rule number one...know what you're doing, or at least act like it at first, 'cause people will take advantage of you. It takes time and energy to produce a quality product, no matter what it is. I have to learn to be somewhat of a professional about this. Shit. A professional?! ME?! Yes...

OH and I made another list of personal art projects that I need to finish.

1. Fairy statue for Lisa... I painted this for her birthday a few years ago. She didn't like one of the colors I used so I agreed to change it. It's been sitting on top of my fridge for two years.

2. Book cover for Lucy... One of the first paid projects I did was an astrological calendar series for this woman I met at my restaurant job. They were for the year 2000 and we didn't get them printed 'til October '99. Lots of little technical problems that weren't thought through enough. Got tons of great illustrations though and we wanna make it into a book. I've sketched a great cover and I just need to ink it!

3. Got an email the other day from a contact I made a few years ago. He'd wanted illustrate a children's book idea he had. I did a few finished and colored drawings to go with his manuscript and he sent it out...but only to about 25 publishers. He wants to try again. I say cool 'cause I've gotten even better at drawing children and I'd like to re-do one of the pictures I did. I always figure, "What the hell?", when it comes to these things. Same with the Lucy project. Just DO shit and get it out there. A portfolio will come together before I know it.

4. Paint the fairy for Zen dear. I'm gonna go get the stuff I need this weekend, I hope. Gotta get started on it!

5. Finish drawing my wedding invitation picture. This one's obvious. Gotta get it done and printed!

Okay, for now I actually have a drawing assignment at work! Gotta do some drawings for my boss to take with him to the show he's doing next week. I did a lovely illustration of 'The Sacred Heart of Jesus' yesterday. I need to scan that sucker in! First I wanna color a copy of it in pencil though. Shit, guess that's item number 6. Better get started... Later!

It's not just what's in fashion...

It's what's in the bag...

Not so blue

Happy day...it's a Monday and I don't feel like complete and total depressed shit. That's because I was somewhat of a good girl. Somewhat. I still had a few beers and such, but I didn't overdo it at all. It's so nice to wake up ready to face the day. I wish it could be like this every day, especially every Monday.

It was a nice, regular, run 'o the mill weekend. Friday night I helped Melanie a little with the cleaning of her old place. Seems like the poor girl has been in the middle of moving forever. SO MUCH STUFF. Man oh man. Now they're just finishing up with the cleaning...putting down new ceramic floor tiles, painting and carpet cleaning. I washed the windows, a few cabinets and some doors before I petered out... There wasn't too much left to do though, good 'ol Ivan got so much done during the week. I hope this was the last weekend they had to deal with that place... I think Melanie's gonna put it on the market this week.

Saturday was spent running errands. After reading some of that aquarium book Ron gave me, I decided that I wasn't paying enough attention to the water quality in my tank. So one of the errands was to head to the fish store and get the proper filter media to make the fishies happy. I also got some aquarium salt...it's s'posed to be good for their overall well being (protects against disease and stress) and gill function. And since we were in the valley we also stopped by the bird store to get the birdies some fruit/veggie salad. It sucks that the quality pet stores that I trust have to be so damn far away from home.

The Shabu Shabu place happens to be in the valley, too, so I was finally able to get Ron over there to try it after our errands on Saturday. He LOVED it! I'm so very glad 'cause this means we'll get to go there a little more often! I hope... We had a great time. Oh yes, and before dinner we went CD shopping. Once again it had been too long since I'd gotten some new music. I got five, plus Ron picked out a Mr. Bungle CD that he said I just HAD to have... Of course I LOVE it. It's hilarious! There's one song in which he sings about food. I've never heard anyone rap so fast! "Squeeze me macaroni...slide your face in my balogna..." HAHA! Ron would sing that sometimes and I had no idea what he was talking about!

Uh-oh, my boss is back and I'm supposed to be helping him get ready for the show this week. I'd better get crackin'. Later!

DUH

You know what I just realized? In my long, emotional, exploratory post yesterday I mentioned that MONDAY came crashing down. I meant Tuesday. Yes, TUESDAY because it was the day after a long weekend. DUUUHH. I need a brain flush.

Sick farts

OH fanTABulous! It's Friday again. Welcome to another weekend. A weekend wherein I will NOT get wasted beyond all wastedness. I was good all week so I am going to allow myself a bit of fun. Just a bit. Really. NO REALLY. JUST A LITTLE. Have a few beers and relax. But not make it the center of my attention like I did last weekend. I don't want to have a shitty beginning to my week again. Come Monday, I will NOT wake up depressed and worried. I will wake up refreshed and happy to greet the new day. OH...who the fuck am I kidding?! I probably won't be refreshed or happy to go to work... But this attitude, this bitterness has GOT to STOP. I don't have to be a fucking ray of sunshine, but I do have to try harder to keep my stupid emotions at bay and deal with life a little better.

*End of self therapy session*

SO. I finally finally FINALLY joined the rest of the world and got a new cell phone yesterday. My old phone was almost SIX years old! It still worked fine, looked fine...no one could really tell it was ancient until they saw that old green screen. It was kinda sentimental to me and I liked the fact that it was different than everyone else's newfangled gadgets. However, the battery was getting old. I couldn't use it too much or it would be juiced pretty quickly. And nothing is more ear-shattering than the beep that thing makes when it completely loses battery power. You're in the middle of a conversation...little warning beep...little warning beep...you're trying to end the coversation before it BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPP!!!! *gah* Ron mentioned yesterday that his plan contract was finally up and he would finally be able to get a new phone. He wanted to get a plan together and I told him I'd check out what was available with my service first, since I've always liked it and have never had a problem. I headed on over there after work and found out that since it had been so damn long since I'd changed a thing on my plan, I was eligible for lots of perks, discounts and TWO phones! SOOOoooooo...we now have two lovely new phones and a plan together. We can talk to each other for free! All day long! Yay! And I can take pictures of my ass and send them to him! Holy shit! The features this thing has...the sounds... Welcome to 2006. And it's almost over. Hah!

Ron sweetie poopsie thoughtful man brought home an AWESOME aquarium book for me last night. The fish geeks dream book. It's got everything you wanna know about keeping fresh and saltwater fish, fish names, natural habitats... Guess what I'm gonna be reading all weekend?! I know a lot about the hobby, but there's always more to learn. I happened to flip to a page as I was scanning it and found a fish that I just started keeping and don't know much about. The orange chromide cichlid. Here's a pic of one of mine...



Can you see 'im? He's the lil' fishie to the right. Yea. Apparently, they like brackish water. Little salt in their mix. Putting a little salt in a freshwater aquarium is actually good for the fish anyway. I'm going grocery shopping today (been puttin' that shit off for three weeks now) and I'm onna pick me up some uniodized salt. In't that sumpin'?

Ooooh...that Taco Smell I had yesterday is not agreeing with me. I still haven't eaten anything since yesterday afternoon. I've been feeling all bloated and icky since then. I just farted and made myself sick. Good Lord, what the hell is IN that shit? I don't want to know. That's why I don't eat fast food very often. Yuck. I need to go evacuate. Yea...I'd better go 'cause the poop talk is starting.

Stone cold

Ah, good morning and welcome to day three of stone cold sobriety. Yes, I'm trying again. Last Thursday, after having a talk with Ron, we had decided that we need to cut back on the drinking. Then Friday rolled around. The Friday before a long weekend Friday. BIG Friday. Melanie called while I was on my way home from work and invited us over for a hang out session that night. Mike, Bam and another couple we didn't know were gonna be there. We headed over around eight and thus began the party. The party that did not end until Monday night. Like I said the other day, it was a great weekend... A great weekend riddled with substances of the inebriatin' kyynd.

Then MONday came crashing down, like it always does. Monday and reality. Reality sucks the salt offa chimps balls. I know I don't have a big problem, but a developing one. I've been enjoying drinking a little too much, especially since I've gotten with Ron. We've discussed this several times. He knows he has a problem, too. A functioning alcoholic is what he calls himself. He told me this in the beginning... He doesn't drink hard liquor from morning 'til night, but he still drinks a helluva lotta beer.

So...Monday. I was depressed and emotional as hell again. At one point my brother Steve popped up on the IM to tell me about his new job possiblity. He might be moving to Virginia. Fuck. But that's another story. I made the mistake of complaining to him about my mood, the drinking too much, Rons shitty schedule... Next thing ya know he's asking if he can be truthful. UH-OHhhh. Ya see, my brother has known Ron for a long time, since Ron is best friends with our cousin Mark. Our cousin Mark who also has his own set of alcohol and drug problems. He basically told me that he wants me to be sure of what I'm getting into. That Ron is a good guy, but he's got a sordid past. That he's worried because our relationship seems to be moving very fast. That his gut is telling him no. He said that I deserve someone who has their shit more together because I'm still working on getting MY shit together. This made me burst into tears. He told me not to panic and to just think good and hard about what I'm doing. That I'm a smart person and he's concerned for me. He said that so long as I'm happy, it's fine, but that I should really think about my future.

Of course this has made me worried sick. Ron is a wonderful man and I really DO want to marry him. I see how smart he is and how he is trying to clean up his act now that he has found someone that he loves and wants to build a life with. But he is still human. He still has habits that his rough life has given him. He didn't have a healty family life at all. He didn't EVER have the support he needed. He got disappointed A LOT by people he trusted. He couldn't depend on anyone but himself. We HAVE talked about these things, like I've mentioned before... He tells me that I have nothing to worry about, that he has the right plan and he knows what he needs to do. That it won't always be this way. I see him making steps and I love the fact that I've been able to help him so much. He HAS gotten quite far since we first got together. But now I'm just worried sick about the future. I want him to talk to someone. I don't want to be his therapist. I want to go with him to talk to a counselor before we get married. He's been somewhat receptive to counseling...but then he'll go backwards and say that he doesn't need anyone to tell him what to do, that he KNOWS what he needs to do. Typical stubborn man. I feel compelled to help him, even though my brother says that it's not my job. He is worth it to me. He is a good man.

So I've started with myself... I have to lead by example. If I can be sober, so can he. We can do this together. We CAN get our shit together. Hell, we ARE getting our shit together. I'm gong to work on myself, work on being STRONG for him. I'm not going to have so many breakdowns in front of him. I'm not going to keep nagging him about his drinking. I'm going to find the right time to bring up the counseling again...the key is not to nag or get all huffy like I always do because that just makes him not want to do it. I love him and he is worth it to me. That's all that matters.

Grubba grubba blahblah

Just a quick update today. I'm busy at work. Great weekend. Grrrreeaaaat weeeeeeeeekennnddd. We had parties, we had BBQs, we met new people and we even made it to the beach for a bike ride. We didn't go out of town like we'd planned weeks ago. Well, didn't really "plan"...we're terrible at that. I don't know if we'll be able to afford the little weekend trip we wanna take sometime soon. We can try though. There's still a little hope. We had lots of fun this weekend though. Another scorcher, that was the only bad part. I'm ready for the heat to go away now. I want fall...I LOVE fall weather. Most of all I want to cuddle again.

I was on an emotional rollercoaster this morning due to PMS, too much drinking over the weekend and a change in schedules...Ron goes back to nights this week. I gotta learn to handle that better. I'm tired of telling myself that, along with telling myself a lot of things. Nothing is easy...I've said it a million times. I'm trying not to think about all the little things that bother me and it's working to get me through the rest of this day. I'm on that tip of emotional hell where just ONE little thing can set me off on a crying spree. Gettin' a grip now. For now.

And a moment of silence for Steven Irwin...

The news of his death hit me pretty hard. That guy could be so annoying, but what a beautiful soul. You could tell he really cared, he did so much for animals. Rest in peace, mate.

*sigh*

Okay, gotta go get packing done. Later.

DUH-rooooo-EL

The obsession continues...



*swoon*

And Ron is feeding it! He gave me an awesome Fantomas t-shirt last night. I love it love it LOVE it! And I love Ron. Yes EYE doooooh! My poopie man. Poospie-poh-poh.

YAYez...

I am weirdin' out this marnin', case ya couldn't tell. It's the coffee. Too much shooogar in duh kahffee. Mmm-hmmm. And it's FRY DAY. Before a LONG WEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeekend! Weeweeweeweeeeeeeeekend! Whutter we gon' do? Play it by the 'ol ear like we always do. But we're gonna do it outside by the beach because it's s'posed to be a hottie.

This is a short entry. I must go work. I must go do something before I become a useless blob 'o pippernickel. Don't ask...