As usual, I have forgiven Melanie, even though she didn't even know I was mad. Heh... Well, she invited me over for artichokes so I think she might have had an idea. But the reason for her odd behavior last week is indeed rooted in the turmoil she is experiencing lately. All the things she had started to build are crumbling down around her. First off, she lost her well-paying job last month and is now home and unemployed. Second, she has finally decided once and for all (I hope, I reeeally reeeally hope) to leave that pile of weird she's been dating and living with for the past 3 + years. He refuses to move to the next level and get married and have a family, which is what Melanie has always pictured herself doing. He also refuses to try to compromise and barely even talks to her. Every time she tries to bring it up it's, "Not now, this is not the right time." But she doesn't want to have to force him so she's given up. They're not in love anymore and just tolerate each other. Poor thing... Now she has the complicated task of finding a new place to live and moving out of a house that she'd been settling in.
The reason she'd said she was tired and just left that evening is because she hadn't slept in two days. She apologized for being such an airhead as to think she could actually exercise in that condition. I can't hold a grudge because I feel terrible for her. That pussy she lives with has done nothing but dissapoint her and now she has to start all over again. The good news is that she received plenty of severence pay from work and has enough to do some fun things for herself for a while. She's leaving next week for France to stay with her cousin for a month. She might even stay there for 6 months if her cousin doesn't decide to move to Cali, then they might get a place together. So she's got a bit of a plan in the works, which is great. I wish her luck and will help her during this very difficult time. She may be somewhat flakey, but she's really helped me in the past.
Who knows? She'll probably meet someone else, have a whirlwind romance and be pregnant by next year! Ugh... That'd be the first of my close friends to do such a thing, but if it's what she wants I have no choice but to be supportive. Besides, it'll be cool to be the weird/fun "auntie" to my good friend's kids. I think...
The whole thing makes me all the more glad I'm not chasing the same old life that everyone else seems to be. I found out last night that Melanie really does want the baby on her hip, dinner in the oven, laundry all over the house life. I just sat there and told her how much of the opposite I am. Then I sympathized with her because I feel very badly for her. I want her to be happy and I hope she finds it soon.
Enough about Melanie... How am I doing? Just fine, actually! I'm continuing to not overthink things. I'm also recognizing the triggers that start Ron and I fighting and at least half was me. Bitchy, angry 'ol me. I discovered that I've been so angry past months that it's ruining me. I've also discovered, once again, that meds work wonders when you remember to take them every day!
Alright, it's time to finish up and get outta here for my jog. Bye bye...
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