Underneath a pile of pointless thoughts

Ha! I forgot to post this the other day...from a late Easter greeting I received on Monday.

My mind is flooded with trash and I keep adding to the pile. I don't want to dump the trash, it's comforting. But I'm not accomplishing anything buy constantly worrying about the future and letting all these little things that make me angry crowd my mind! On one hand I know it's wrong and slowly driving me insane. On the other, I don't want to stop!

In trying to keep things simple so that I don't stress so much, I've made my life so boring. There are opportunities everywhere...passing me by because I'm too busy staring at all the uglyness that surrounds me. I continue to compare myself to others. It's so unhealthy to dwell on that crap but I can't seem to make myself stop. I keep concentrating on the bad and forgetting about the good. I can't be happy with who I am and it's making me sink into another depression. Wait...I think I'm already there.

Man, I waste so much time... I spend way too much time on the internet. It makes everything seem so huge and insurmountable to me, yet I'm so drawn to and fascinated by it. All the competition, all the people trying to sell themselves. I'm not good at it. I'm just another boring schmo. See? Negative thoughts again. Around and around and around. It doesn't have to be that way.

Like I say everytime I have this psychobabble with conversation with myself, all I have to do is take it one small step at a time. Think happy thoughts. Life is NOT pointless. There ARE good people out there who care. A big thank you to everyone who cares.