I got nothin'. My brain is soup. Inspiration, Motivation, Willpower... They elude me. I feel so worthless and shitty again. Where should I go from here? Does anyone have any suggestions? Any offers? Anything interesting? Do I have to keep plugging along? All I feel like doing is laying on the grass and staring at the sky all day long. Where is my spirit? Where is my faith? Where is my individuality? Where is my balance?
I should stay away from that place.
I should stop drinking so much.
I should stop eating so much junk.
I should stop smoking so much.
I should stop bitching and complaining.
I should stop hating myself.
I should be working.
I should be happy.
I should be thankful.
I should be moving on.
I should be learning.
I should be drawing.
I should be painting.
I should be volunteering.
I should be reading.
I should be accomplishing something.
Should, should, should. It's all so pointless. Why do I worry so much about what I should be doing? Meanwhile I continue to sit stagnant. My mental health is suffering. Who really gives a shit? Gotta keep trying, can't give up. I hate being a fucked up, emotional mess.
1 comment:
What I find helpful when I get into mental/emotional ruts like this is to look at what I *have* done. If that doesn't work, I find someone to do something for. It doesn't even have to be this great big volunteer effort, just a small kindness, like opening the door for someone. Of course, it could be a bigger thing, too, like helping a friend or signing up for a charity walk. Point is, doing something for someone else takes you out of yourself for a minute, and it just plain feels good. Hugs!
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