That last post sure showed it, huh. I'm just working out these issues, I'll get over it. I'm very angry and defensive right now because I've made a choice that isn't common. But I don't have to be angry about it, that's the thing. I'm making it negative when it is really positive...for me. It's the right choice for me. No biggie. I don't have to give in to the urge to yell it from the mountains. I can simply take my path and shut the hell up. Well, I don't have to shut up all the way. It's okay to vent a little of the frustration out.
Work is sucking the juicy ass cheese right now. I don't wanna be there. The dynamic I've created between my boss and I is so unhealthy. She is nice in her own way, but I can't stand her personality anymore. One minute I'm cursing her in the closet and the next I'm kissing her little brown feet. I don't want to hurt her, I just wanna move on now. Why did I have to choose such a horrible time to finally get going and start looking for another job? Whine whine whine. Everyone is going through this right now. I feel so worthless...I know what I have to do and I'm letting fear take over like always! Just believe that it will all work out and it will. Believe in myself and my abilities. This has become a chant...
Don't feel scared
Don't feel crappy
Believe in yourself
And you'll be happy
Yes. That's it.
Melanie's coming over and we were gonna take a walk. I really don't feel like it. I've gone for walks all week. I actually went for a jog or walk Monday through Thursday. I don' WANNA go. But I always do this flaking on the walk thing with her. We don't do exercise together well. We always end up drinking some wine, making dinner, smokin' cigs and talking. We'll see what happens...maybe I should pretend to be asleep when she gets here. Right. I'm such a fluff. I'ma go feed the lil' kiddy katz some whett fooood!
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