We're few and far between

So the 20th was the annual family Christmas party. Aunts, uncles (what's left of them), cousins and cousin progeny. My mom's side of the family, chuck full of what I've come to call "breeders". They're the ones who also have the annual family Beer Bust every July, which consists of basically the same group of snobs, I mean, people.

Ron described the party as a "mind numbing" experience, and he was dead on. He'd tried his darndest not to drink during the thing, only to cave about halfway through. I know he was trying to be "good" and that was very noble of him... However, I did not expect him to try to do so during a boring family get together. I mean, I couldn't even handle being sober. I beelined to the kitchen for a Bud within the first 10 minutes of our arrival.

The only ones we were happy to see were my lovely parents and a couple of the cousins. Oh, and my elusive brother Steve, who usually manages to have to work on the day of the party. I'm so glad he was there, along with my cousins David and Deanna...the only other two adults who haven't thrust their DNA replicants upon us. Cousin David is gay and has a lovely partner and cockatoo that he calls family. Cousin Deanna and her husband Billy, on the other hand, are childfree and living in Vegas with two chihuahuas. They hardly ever come to the big get togethers, usually because they have to work or just have enough time to hang out with the nuclear family for a day or two. I've been meaning to call Deanna for months to see why she is childfree and to discuss my feelings with her. I was so happy to see her at the party so I could finally talk to her!

About an hour into the thing I managed to get into a private conversation with her in one of the bedrooms that didn't happen to have a pile of screaming children in it. I was like, "I HAVE to talk to you, you're the ONLY other adult woman here who hasn't bred!" She was only too happy to talk to me about it. She congratulated me for having the brains to really think about such a life altering decision and to conclude that I really wasn't cut out for the job. It's the same thing she and her husband of 13 years did when she was 25. They were still dating when they decided that children weren't for them.

"There is NOTHING wrong with feeling that way..." AAAaahhhh...

I'm at the stage of this decision during which I need much validation. I'm sorry, but I do. Women who don't want children are few and far between, at least in my neck of the woods. I suppose if I was more in the music, arts and entertainment industry, I might very well meet lots of people who think like I do. As of now it's only been on the internet...which is a helluva lot better than nothing, lemme tell ya! It's great to get advice and validation from people who don't think I'm going to change my mind in a few years. My cousin Deanna is the first real childfree person I've gotten to talk to since I became all gung-ho about it. I loved being able to express my feelings toward humanity and to have someone squeal with delight that they thought the same damn thing! So we exchanged numbers, as she doesn't have the internet just yet. But I'm going to make it a point to go out to visit them this year. I'm not crazy about Vegas, but they're the type who live there and stay as far away from the strip as possible. I can handle that. I don't hang out with her at all and she really is a sweet person. I've never taken the time to get to know her and what better time than now? She seems to share a lot of my personality traits. Gee...I wonder if it's 'cause we're fucking RELATED. Deerr...

Anyway, we didn't get to talk as much as I wanted to, before we were interrupted by a bunch of kids. Not to mention the arrival of the Invetro Fertilization Queen cousin Debra and the Almighty Child. She's the one who married the filthy rich (but very nice and humble) guy and quickly pumped out two bratty, entitled sons who are now 5 and 7. You see, she was in her late thirties when she finally found Mr. Right Money Pants. They got two boys and Debra wanted a girl. Not to be denied of anything she WANTS, they got IVF. They showed up just as Deanna and I were leaving the bedroom. Debra had the little squirming thing in a pretty, velvety red dress, complete with giant velvety red bow wrapped around the head to match. Of course she was cute, as far as babies go. But I certainly didn't want to hang around with all the other cousins and grandmas and worship it.

Thankfully, one of my other cousins brought one of her little doggies, a mangled chihuahua. It was the runt of the litter and a little screwed up. One of its legs is almost useless and sort of just hangs there. I don't know the extent of its problems, all I know is that I find it much cuter than the trophy baby. I made sure to carry that thing around so I wouldn't have to hold the Christ Child. I also spent a lot of time outside smoking with the "outcasts".

I should mention my other cousin and his broodmare wife, who is on her fifth child. I honestly think she's addicted to being pregnant because that's all she's been for three years. She's got two older girls (10 and 13) from a previous boyfriend. Since marrying my cousin she's had a boy, 3 and a girl, 2. They're wanting the sex of this bun to be a surprise. I think that's sweet and old fashioned...that's about it though. Anyway, we had to hear, several times over, about her near birthing the day before. She's been getting pains and bleeding some...Ugh... Yea, could you save that 'til AFTER we eat? She's due to drop it any time now. So all she had to talk about was that, which is less than entertaining.

That was the weekend. Nothing else notable...oh except for the fact that my other cousin Mark, from my dads side...the one whose girlfriend and now wife has basically supported him since he hasn't worked in ten years, is getting a house. Yes, his wife's parents are loaded and if he and wifie can give them a grandchild, they get a house. I found this out through my brother Steve. Mark hasn't told Ron and I because he knows it will piss us off. You see, he's been skating through life and this drives Ron nuts. Ron always helped Mark, but Mark never returns favors because he has no car, no money, no freedom from a nagging woman. He already has a 15 year old son from when he knocked up a girlfriend, who later married someone else. Mark would get the kid on weekends, when he was sober...but never had to pay child support. It went on like that for a long time, him not working and living with the girlfriend, who he finally married after 10 years. Now, they're apparently working on a kid, which they also haven't told us about. I'm sure that's because Ron and myself have told them that we probably won't have kids. I expressed it with more enthusiasm in an email I sent Mark a few months back. Now he makes me sick. Of course I can't TELL him that because I'm not supposed to know. We have to act all excited when and if they tell us she knocked up. We have to try our best to be happy for them and not be bratty. It's the adult thing to do. Hopefully that house will be far away so that Ron can move on from that friendship like he's been trying to do. Mark has always been kind of an asshole and it really sucks to see him acting all goody-two-shoes for his controlling wife while he tries to knock her up. You know, because NO ONE can get married and not have a cement baby! I just hope he doesn't screw this one up, 'cause he got WAY lucky with the first one.

Sooo...yea. There's some family dirt for ya. I've gotta go try to concentrate again. Happy short week.