Dick heads and Obliviousnessssess...

Ever wonder where the term dick head came from? WELL wonder no more!



HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAA!!!!!

On that note, I said I'd post the emails between me, the colorist and mister stupid writer dude...or shall we call him dick head now? Check out the following exchange. It IS to laugh... Or cry. But really, I choose to laugh and learn.


So after we get a letter telling us about all that is wrong with our FINISHED ARTWORK, we get the following email from dick head:

"Greetings!

Hope all is well and you have had some time to comprehend the updates that I sent you.

The illustrations are extremely excellent and with just some fine tweeking will be immaculate and public friendly..Let me know if you have any questions or need to meet...

We're are almost there!! Keep up the great effort and soon we will have a wonderful book to share with the world and then some fun showing it at some nature places in the LA and Orange County areas...and more..."

Yup. Always with his head in the clouds, dreaming of all the heavenly glory before we even get off the ground. So the wonderful colorist, and now my friend, Vicki writes this lovely response:

"You're a funny cookie [dick head] ... What I comprehend about the updates is that Julie and I have to redo every single picture that we've done. At every step you had the opportunity to put your two cents in if you indeed didn't like the pictures. If you wanted to 'fine tweek' the pictures you should have shared that when we were creating them.

Imagine me telling you that you have to redo a song because this is wrong and that is wrong. It would be cool as you're creating it, but then your at the end and, you love it, you're happy with it ... but this and this and this is wrong with it. Hummm, I wonder if you'd be so excited or gun hoe to redo what you thought was a good product. What I find most interesting is that you dropped and ran. You didn't even have the balls (excuse me for being so rude) to tell me to my face. What is that, [dick head]?

Let me ask you this ... with what Julie and I just experienced, what makes you even think that we would commit ourselves again just so you can pick it apart for another redo? You've just shown us that we can't trust what you tell us. Do we have to have all drawings approved by your mom and brother? We both trusted you as we progressed on this project and we were both shocked at what you came back with. Let me ask you an even simpler question ... what is he going to wear? Seaweed shorts perhaps? Scales? Are we redoing the hair with a short punk look? I'm sure the men in Hawaii would love to know they look ... feminine ... with their grass skirts. You're asking for reality and/or realism in something that isn't. It's a children's book for goodness sake. The bus is too small, the arm is too narrow, he shouldn't have sandals on, the smoke needs to be darker ... etc. etc. etc. Children are not going to pick the pictures apart like you have. Just out of wild curiosity, what did they think of your story? Any adjustments there? Or was it just meant for the pictures that brought the story to life?

If you indeed want us to redo the pictures, you'll pay for them because Julie and I just wasted a great grip of time on something that can't be used. You are more than welcome to turn to some other sucker that is willing to trust what you tell them and get them done for free again. Julie and I just aren't those suckers anymore. If you want us to do them, another contract will be created and there will be cash paid for them. Right now Julie and I are fully within our right as artists to charge you for the work that has already been done. We haven't ruled that out as we contemplate what we're going to do.

I'm in the middle of mourning my moms death and moving out of this apartment right now. I will contact a lawyer and see what our options are because I can't see putting all this work into something just to throw it aside because the whole thing is wrong ... in your eyes.

I really don't know how you will respond to this [dick head] because you don't even seem to comprehend what you've just done to us. Your minimal writing time does not even come close to the time we've put in trying to help you bring it to life. Dude ... I'm very disappointed and still to this moment ask you ... why didn't you tell us all these things as we came together with all these meetings? Wasn't that the purpose of the meetings?I will be waiting to hear from you [dick head]...

Vickie"

AAAAAAAAAAaaand this was dick head's return email entitled, "Follow Up":

"I'm so sorry you misunderstood...

"Tweeking" does not mean major changes only light corrections for continuity.
(adults will read this too) e.g. "bluish beam" from moon should be blue.
The city bus should look more like one (i.e. somewhat taller) and the smoke should be somewhat more menancing. Because S. Boy is around 17 his face, arms and chest should have a slight more masculine look #1cover, 3, & 6. (others seem fine.)
Can you erase the plant material on his arm in the city scene? (he transformed from that)

So What's up with the extreme overreaction?

What it needs is only simple stuff , simple color or character line not a complete redo.

Can you make his grass skirt slightlly longer? It seems a little short

Can you lighten the silhouette of him in the bubble lightly? It seems somewhat sinister
for his good natured character.

Scene at the UN was only suggested.


There is no rush on this."

Are you laughing yet? This guy is so stupid he's downright funny, isn't he? Good Christ Almighty...I knew he had his head up his ass but I had no idea just how FAR it was! So here is my response to that last email. I sent it a week ago and have not heard back...

"Hello [dick head],

According to your response here, you seem to be the one who has the misunderstanding. You did not address our main concern as to why you did not point out these minor changes before we were done with the drawings. That was the purpose of all these meetings. All we heard, as artists was, "Great job! Perfect! Wonderful! Captures it beautifully!" We continued having these meetings with you so that you could point out all of the important things you needed before we were finished with the hand painted drawings that you asked us to do. We were to understand that these drawings were to be done by hand, not computer.

That brings up another very important question that we need to clarify... Are you, the board of reviewers and the publisher going to want the finished product in Photoshop or some other computer program format? Using a computer program to tweek and then print the final drawings can change the entire thing! The look, the quality, the color... Just how is the final product expected to be handed over? Because that makes a HUGE difference, in and of itself. Which again, was the entire point of these meetings.

You have failed to address what exactly we need to do in order to get these drawings from our hands and made into an actual book. We understood that you wanted everything done a certain way, which is hand drawn, inked and then painted in water color. Is this correct? What does the publisher want?? You do not seem to understand what artwork went into the finished product here. Let me try to explain it to you further...

1. "Tweeking" does not mean major changes only light corrections for continuity." ~ Completely understandable, IF the drawings were still in pencil. That is why I was sure to email the sketch (still easy to change without ruining the image, simply erase) to you and Vickie before I did the final inking (less easy to fix without messing up the drawing, but white out and photoshop will work).

2. "(adults will read this too) e.g. "bluish beam" from moon should be blue." - Again, something much easier to change before the final water color painting. Let me explain how water color works... IF we change the moon beam from the yellow we now have to the bluish you want, we will get GREEN. There is NO WAY, short of redoing the entire water-coloring process, that we can change that color from yellow to blue without getting green. Mind you, we can do this if we scan it into the computer, but again, Vickie and I understood that this would be done the "old school" way. Unless we scan it into the computer and do it on Photoshop. But in this case, isn't it so much easier to simply change the word "bluish" to "yellowish"????? Why not do that, instead of changing the artwork, which took much longer to create than it did to write that one word.

3. "The city bus should look more like one (i.e. somewhat taller) and the smoke should be somewhat more menancing." - Did I not email you this picture? Did you not see the unfinished (unwater-colored piece) at one of our meetings?? AGAIN, why did you not bring this up before it was done and painted? This one is not as difficult to change, if we use the computer, of course. The smoke can actually be done on the original drawing with watercolor. But in order to change the bus, I either have to redo the whole drawing or scan it in and change it.

4. "Because S. Boy is around 17 his face, arms and chest should have a slight more masculine look #1 cover, 3, & 6. (others seem fine.)" - Something you could have told me about at the meetings. I have no problem at all with fine tweeking my sketches and drawings. Why did you say they were fine? This is something that cannot be changed without redoing all three of these drawings, IF you want them in original, hand-painted format. Scan them into Photoshop? Not such a big deal.

5. "What it needs is only simple stuff , simple color or character line not a complete redo. - Again, you fail to understand the meaning of simple when it comes to hand drawn, hand painted artwork. If you want the whole thing scanned into a computer and reworked, that is a whole different story.

"Can you make his grass skirt slightlly longer?" - Please, tell me [dick head]...how many scenes does Seaweed boy wear a grass skirt? Do you want me to white the hell out of the bottom of his skirt in each and every scene he wears it? NOT easy to do with hand drawn, hand painted artwork. Photoshop? Not such a big a deal, but still a deal. Still something much easier dealt with before we handed you the finished work.

"Can you lighten the silhouette of him in the bubble lightly? It seems somewhat sinister for his good natured character." - In a hand drawn, hand painted picture? Simply? NO. Again, [dick head], let me explain water color and ink... You cannot go from black to grey without ruining the painting. But in Photoshop, it's quite simple.


The bottom line is that Vickie and I are artists, not magicians. We do only what you tell us to do. You need to be much more clear about your expectations so as not to cause us to waste time on something for which we are not getting paid. Yes, no matter how fun and delightful you seem to think this whole process is, it is WORK. We spent hours on this project that we cannot get back. And you want us to spend more hours on it? Please, step back and think about what you are asking us to do, [dick head]."

*sigh*

I know, another lesson learned the hard way. I'm through working with these quacks, as I've said before. I need to have to confidence to take my work elsewhere. It's the only thing I can doo...trudge on. I wonder when I'm gonna hear from dick head again. You think he got the point? FINALLY?! Let's hope...