Good day. Things are continuing to go along and slow down... I even had two days off last week to 'recover' from our trip and I'm still really burnt out. I don't know what it is, but I've been feeling down the past few days. It's probably just the after wedding blues. We had a wedding present opening party at my parents a few weeks ago and we still have a whole lot of cards to open...I just haven't felt like it. We're still on different schedules and I'd like to open the cards together. This past weekend we had a chance but all I did was clean and...shit, I don't even KNOW where most of the weekend went! Then there's the thank you cards. I finally got some earlier this week and have started writing the ones I need to send to all the wonderful vendors who made the day run so smoothly. And then it's on to all the family and friends, who I really appreciate but right now wish they didn't exist.
*sigh*
Another thing that's bothering me is that I feel like we're still in a bit of limbo. I want to MOVE so we can use all of our new stuff. We've got a nice oak kitchen table that my parents gave to us...it's in Rons moms garage. We've got other things that my parents are holding on for us, too. A couch from my grandparents, an antique rocking chair, a refridgerator, a hope chest... We brought home a few of our gifts, but couldn't possibly fit the bulk of them. If the clutter in the house was bad BEFORE the wedding, it's so much worse now. I feel like the walls are closing in. There's nowhere to PUT anything! Not even the mail! I'm trying not to think about it, but there's so much to do before we can move. Are we going to buy or rent? Where? We need to start looking into loans and credit checks and all that bullshit... Then there's Rons storage lockers. TWO of them. FULL. Arughthghghtgh...
Then there's Ron and his moods. I couldn't seem to do anything right last week. He says I have to think things through before I do them. I understand what he means because I am a total space cadet sometimes...but it's only made worse when it's pointed out to me. Then I just get all nervous. And pissed at him. Which has subsided some because he's been all lovely and nice this week. I actually asked him when he called a little while ago, why such a big mood swing? His answer? Because he's trying harder not to be depressed. How sweet. Thanks, hon. I know he's told me a million times that it's not me and I shouldn't be hurt by it. I know I can't be the sole reason for his happiness. He's not mine, but he does have a lot to do with it! It's just that he seems to expect an awful lot from me. And it sucks that he's so unhappy with his life. I don't understand it. So what if he's not where he wants to be right now. We'll get there eventually. And if we don't? Who gives a shit! We have to be happy with what we have. We really need to take some time when we both have the day off to talk. I can't push this stuff away, we need to clarify a few things...especially the division of labor. I need more help around that cluttered mess.
Okay, I'm done whining. I really don't feel like working. Again. Bye bye for now.
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