Serenity NOW!

To say this week has been busy would be the understatement of the year. Work has been INSANE. SO, I'm taking a break to write, dammit! I've been alone at the office again. My boss left Monday to attend his last convention while with the company. So that leaves me here to tie up loose ends from my week away, deal with the shitload of daily issues (always MORE when the boss is gone) and try to get things together for the big change. I haven't even finished closing up 2006...ugh... I also have to move my work space to a desk in another part of the office. In other words, everything is a fucking MESS! I'll get through it slowly but surely... Just have to quell the urge to panic. Not an easy feat for me. I let myself get way too overwhelmed on Monday and ended up getting physically ill, as in having to pull the car over and PUKE as I was on my way to the accountants office. That was fun. I'm sure the two cars that drove by while I was yacking really enjoyed the scene. Whenever I get so nervous that I barf, I know I have to pull the needle off the record and silence my thoughts. Which I did. I sat in the car for a few minutes and gathered myself. Since then I've managed to get a lot done, both at work and at wedding planning. Yay me!

So I haven't worked with the owner of the company much since I started here three years ago. From what I remember, she is type A alla way! That's not necessarily a bad thing, just something I have to get used to again. She'll have me running all over the place when she first arrives. She'll want everything organized to a teeee... She'll have a million ideas running through her head and will want to share them with me. ALL AT ONCE. She's actually quite funny when she gets going. I love it when she's so worked up that she can't even finish a sentence! I have actually changed a lot since I last really worked with her. I'm thinking we'll work well together. I'm HOPING we work well together!

And wedding planning, wedding planning, WEDDING PLANNING. It's getting down to the wire. All kinds of shit needs to get done between now and April. To think I originally wanted my wedding in February of this year! HAH! I really would've had to get off my ass on the planning LONG before I did. Yeap. Glad we changed it to April. I'm soooo not into this. Yes, I want a nice day. Yes, I want to celebrate with friends and family. NO, I don't want to plan what is essentially a huge party! I have never planned a party in my life! I'm all about small social gatherings so this is quite the undertaking for me. All the damn details. I just want someone else to do it. Wake up and SURPRISE! It's your wedding day! Everything is done and simple and lovely! Right. This is also the time when the "what ifs" start. What if any of the vendors screws up, doesn't show up? What if it rains? What if my cousin(s) drink too much? What if my mom has a diabetic reaction? What if I throw up all over my dress while trying to deliver my vows? WHAT IF I FORGET SOMETHING???!!!

It'll all be fine.

It'll all be fine.

It'll all be fine.

How many jillions of people have gotten married?! I must calm myself. Then I think, how many jillions of people have getten divorced?! That's another thing that's been on my mind. I'm getting married. I want this to last. I know it's not always going to be easy. I must not give up like so many others have. Marriage is not a doomed institution! There are just too many people getting married too young, or for the wrong reasons... Too many people who are chronologically old enough to get married, but are too immature to grasp the real concept of marriage. Spoiled people who don't want to compromise... People from an entirely different generation that's all about self gratification. But really, I'm ready for this. I'm sure. I won't be a statistic! Dammit!

Alright, shit...I gotta wrap up. It's jogging time again. I've been a bad girl and have been eating too much. My thighs and stomach feel so flabby. I don't even want to know what I weigh. I've always been of the mindset that if I look good and my clothes still fit (barely) it's fine. Just cut down on the portions. Fuck, I'm Italian! I LOVE EATING. I can't give it up. I can, however, exercise to keep things under control. So here I go. Right now. Bye bye.