I can finally add an entry...whew. I've just been too busy to write. Oh yea, and my home computer is still broken. Melanie was all ready to return it last night, but of course the fucker had to start giving her problems. She was gonna call me with an update before ten, but she didn't of course. Mike was coming over to help her and I'm sure they got all high and forgot. Whatever...
I'm slightly pissed because I have to work today and it's Good Friday. Not that I'm particularly religious (I'm what you'd call a non-practicing Catholic...oh the shame my parents feel...). I guess that's what I get when I work for a small religious goods company and my boss goes on vacation. But I'm thankful to have a job. It could be much worse...I could be digging ditches, shoveling shit or working in retail fuckland.
I was invited to go snowboarding with Melanie today too. Fuck. She gets today off and she works for one of the most PAGAN companies there is...Warner Brothers. Ah, but it's a HUGE company and that means there are many religious types working there. I guess it's logical then. Oh well, I can't afford to go snowboarding anyway. With AAALLLL this fucking rain we've been getting, I doubt I'm gonna get to see the snow ONCE this year. Sucks ass.
I had a great end of the week and weekend last week. I ran another five miles on Thursday, which felt great. Saturday Ron, my cousin Mark and his son Mason and I went to the LA County Museum of Art. I hadn't been there in almost ten years. The last time I went was for school. I was all nervous about my assignment so I didn't really enjoy it. This time I did. It was great spending time with my cousin and his son, too. We all laughed and had a good 'ol time. Then we stayed up all night and partied....lovely.
This week has been good. Really busy at work because people are getting all their last minute Easter orders in. Oh yes, and I finally hooked up through my brother. It took forever but it was worth it. Shit, I'm such a pothead. Oh well, it could be worse. I'm not THAT bad. At least I don't smoke it before I go to work and every other hour. Sometimes I even skip a day!
I also got my final drawing ok'd by Lucy. Now I get to ink it. This is going to be a slow project, I'm sure, but it'll be fun. I'd love to see those beautiful astrological calendars turned into books. Lucy did some fanastic writing, she is very talented. So are her twin sisters. The project is on it's way at least...
But I've got the blahs today because I'm just plain tired, too. Haven't gotten too much sleep this week and last night was horrible. I couldn't sleep at all. I fell asleep on the couch and then went to bed around 12:30. Ron was spending the night and he had gotten up really early so he was in bed by 10:00. But once I hit it, I just couldn't sleep....*sigh* When I finally DID fall asleep, I woke up a few hours later to Ron's incessant coughing. He's got asthma and his inhaler ran out. Poor guy... I'm gonna have to do something about all the dander floating around my house. I vacuum at least twice a week, rub the cat down with dander remover...it still doesn't work. It's the weather too, that doesn't help him at all. So he left for work at 5:30 and I drifted in and out of consciousness 'til I had to drag myself outta bed at 6:30. Bleh. I drove all the way to work with a huge scowl on my face. Squinty eyes that feel like I'm wearing cotton contacts.
I was such a bitch to Ron last night, too. Not really a BITCH per se...just kinda bitch-y. Irritated for no good reason and it was lame. Okay, the guy is a musical guru. He plays guitar and knows his shit. He and my cousin are all about music and talent. So anyway, he's not a huge fan of hip hop, rap or dj music. These are some of my favorite genres. I'm not picky, I like all kinds of music...regardless of how much 'effort' the artist put into it. I do like the more underground stuff, but then I appreciate a lot of the more popular stuff. Well, not lately though...I think I'm getting to the age where all that's coming out new lately is just plain garbage. Ron is all about effort and talent and blood sweat and tears when it comes to music. I'm all about...derrr...I like the beat. I'm such a dork though, I get all insulted when people, especially my boyfriend, make fun of the music I listen to. I love music so much, I don't go a DAY without listening to it. The whole thing is, Ron's been turning me on to all sorts of great music (some of it not so great but I dared not say..even though he really wouldn't care because it's ALL OPINION) and I wanted to do the same. He had let me copy a dj cd last week and it reminded me of some of the cool dj stuff I have. So, naturally, I wanted to take a turn...you know...check THIS out dude! Well, what does he do? He starts wincing and telling me it's awful, that they're just stealing other people's music...stuff that those people worked hard on yadda yadda. I'm just sitting there like....but, but I LIKE it. It's fuun! Then I feel like I don't know shit and I can't argue a thing and that my taste sucks. I totally KNOW he doesn't MEAN to make me feel this way because he told me so. He's telling me it's all opinion and he'd just as soon go out dancing to my shit as any other shit. But...but it's not the same. I just can't help it. It's so stupid, I know. I get all insulted for nothing! But still, I just wanted to hear him say, "Wow, this is cool, I like it." But no... Then I put on another one and he thinks it's pretty cool, but by this time he's lost interest and is ready to move on...well, we WERE in my car listening because neither of my shitty CD players in the house works.
I guess this all stems from my insecurities. I don't know HOW many times he's told me how cute, great, beautiful and awesome I am. But, sometimes it seems like he's not listening to me. I've told him this a couple of times. He says he's always listening to me and not to worry. It's just that he should show it more. I want him to at least TRY and act intersted when I'm telling him about things. Sometimes he'll even butt in and start a new thing when I'm in the middle of telling him about something. This is frustrating. He just can't wait to tell me about this car he's seen, or that bike he's seen or has or whatever. But when I'm trying to tell him about my awesome experience of holding a huge parrot...he's barely there. I know we can't all have the exact same intersts and that's what makes relationships interesting. It's great to get new perspectives on things from the other person. It's just that sometimes I don't feel like he's listening or cares...even though he does. I can be a bit too sensitive about it, I know but.... *sigh*
So yea, that was last night. He was like..."You're not MAD are you? It's just my opinion..." I said of course not because I didn't want to make a big deal outta nothing...of course. Yea, everyone has an opinion. I just want him to think mine is cool. He's always the one who knows this and that and has this and that that no one else has or blah blah. Now I don't want to show him anything. I don't even want to listen to my fucking cds anymore. I know, I'm lame. I'll get over it. Fuck, I gotta work. Bye bye.
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